*TWW Monday*

[squeakyduck]

Mar 30, 2015 19:38:37 GMT -5 mugster said:

<snip>

Mar 30, 2015 19:06:14 GMT -5 anonymouseliza said:

Perhaps what is really happening is that there needs to be a ttc 6+ board. I don't know. If there were no option here for anyone to disable sigs or avatars, then I would agree that a really in-depth conversation might be necessary. But while that option exists, I don't understand why that is not a valid option or is pushing people away. I really just don't.

I think maybe we need something for that in-between space... Maybe something as simple as a check-in. This board does a better job with loss than it does with delayed conception. TWW is awful after the six month mark, and while impatience =|= infertility some kind of loss is occurring as the months tick by. It is hard to not have a place that is safe for that frustration and fear.

Agreed. There was a point where I took a break because I just couldn't handle being told that it takes a year anymore. Sure, that may be true, but it really invalidated my sad feels about how long it was taking. It got hard to be around here and everyone was either getting knocked up the first month or telling me that it hadn't been long enough for me to be upset. 

[anonymouseliza]

Mar 30, 2015 20:05:35 GMT -5 W said:

Mar 30, 2015 20:04:30 GMT -5 anonymouseliza said:

W, for serious, your chart is super confusing. How certain was that positive opk?

not the darkest I've seen, but dark enough to mark +

Anything weird about the lower temps?  Air changes, late (or early) nights?  Anything?

Hell, I'd probably be peeing on things soon.  Even if you don't show a good ovulation pattern with temps.  Because, fuck.  On temps alone, probably no ovulation.

[pismoduo]

Mar 30, 2015 20:07:42 GMT -5 W said:

Mar 30, 2015 20:06:37 GMT -5 pismoduo said:

Any reason to think those random low temps might be wrong/influenced somehow?

not that I can think of. I took my temp at normal time and I haven't drank

Damn.

[valie]

Mar 30, 2015 20:01:42 GMT -5 cabgirl said:

Mar 30, 2015 19:58:02 GMT -5 Fearsy said:

Can someone please explain to me the difference between pregnancy tickers and child birthday tickers/pictures of children?

In the former, the offspring is tinier? And his/her size can be compared to that of various fruits? 

Oh good, now I can play:
PG tickers are for an inside baby.
Child tickers are for an outside baby.

Difference is that while you've got an inside baby you're not getting another no matter how much you HIO.

[anonymouseliza]

Mar 30, 2015 20:11:00 GMT -5 valie said:

Mar 30, 2015 20:01:42 GMT -5 cabgirl said:

In the former, the offspring is tinier? And his/her size can be compared to that of various fruits? 

Oh good, now I can play:
PG tickers are for an inside baby.
Child tickers are for an outside baby.

Difference is that while you've got an inside baby you're not getting another no matter how much you HIO.

And a reminder of one of the greatest days in Bump history . . . Irish Twins Day.

[Andrea]

Mar 30, 2015 19:33:45 GMT -5 wanderingheart said:

The thing is, because our board is so inclusive it has people who are just starting out and are "on the crazy train" in their first month of TTC. Then we have those of us who are struggling, whether they have already reached the year mark or not. We have two extreme ends of the spectrum. Somebody's feelings are going to get hurt here.

I have no solutions. I have my bad days, and I tend to stick to the drinking thread on those days.

THIS! +1

[DanaScullyX]

Mar 30, 2015 19:58:02 GMT -5 Fearsy said:

Can someone please explain to me the difference between pregnancy tickers and child birthday tickers/pictures of children?

I am going to quote someone else from another discussion we had more privately, and I really hope this is okay, GoBigOrGoGnome.

"The best analogy that I can come up with is that it'd be like if you were in HS trying to apply to college and your friends got in to your dream school but you didn't, or you got in but it then found out it was a clerical mistake or something... People with full fledged careers probably wouldn't bother you too much, because you still have a shot at that eventually and it almost seems hypothetical, but your friends posting pics of themselves getting drunk off their asses in the student section of the football game would probably be pretty awful.

We all do want to be parents eventually, and I'd like to think that will happen for all of us in some way, shape, or form. But, for right now, the goal is pregnancy and I think the tickers remind people of what they don't have."

[Ray]

Mar 30, 2015 18:21:35 GMT -5 @debthelibrarian said:

Mar 30, 2015 18:18:08 GMT -5 cabgirl said:

Exactly. Go look at the main board now. If you got rid of all the threads that aren't specifically GKU-related, how many threads would be left? 

I like chat threads on GKU because right now, I'm trying to get pregnant, so GKU is where I go. I might be chatting about random stuff some of the time, but like that I'm doing that with the other women who are trying to get pregnant. I'm getting to know those women, and part of what's nice about that is that when I have a GKU-related problem or concern, I know the women I'm seeking advice from personally. That's how a supportive community is built.

Which is great. Because GKU is WHERE YOU GO. But what is happening, is people are feeling pushed out by the other posters who may not "go here".

Have all the random threads you want. But don't expect everyone to be happy that they're being pushed out of their home by visitors.

But people should be happy that they get immediately evicted the second they turn a test? Idk like I said before, I think the situation has a really simple answer. If siggys, be the pregnancy, kids, loss recaps, whatever are upsetting to you (not your specifically, "you" in the general sense) turn them off.

[pismoduo]

Mar 30, 2015 20:14:11 GMT -5 DanaScullyX said:

Mar 30, 2015 19:58:02 GMT -5 Fearsy said:

Can someone please explain to me the difference between pregnancy tickers and child birthday tickers/pictures of children?

I am going to quote someone else from another discussion we had more privately, and I really hope this is okay, GoBigOrGoGnome.

"The best analogy that I can come up with is that it'd be like if you were in HS trying to apply to college and your friends got in to your dream school but you didn't, or you got in but it then found out it was a clerical mistake or something... People with full fledged careers probably wouldn't bother you too much, because you still have a shot at that eventually and it almost seems hypothetical, but your friends posting pics of themselves getting drunk off their asses in the student section of the football game would probably be pretty awful.

We all do want to be parents eventually, and I'd like to think that will happen for all of us in some way, shape, or form. But, for right now, the goal is pregnancy and I think the tickers remind people of what they don't have."

I like this analogy.

[DanaScullyX]

Mar 30, 2015 20:14:41 GMT -5 Ray said:

Mar 30, 2015 18:21:35 GMT -5 @debthelibrarian said:

Which is great. Because GKU is WHERE YOU GO. But what is happening, is people are feeling pushed out by the other posters who may not "go here".

Have all the random threads you want. But don't expect everyone to be happy that they're being pushed out of their home by visitors.

But people should be happy that they get immediately evicted the second they turn a test? Idk like I said before, I think the situation has a really simple answer. If siggys, be the pregnancy, kids, loss recaps, whatever are upsetting to you (not your specifically, "you" in the general sense) turn them off.

YES, yes they should be happy because they get to be pregnant. I am being punished by not seeing any signatures on the board for people who are trying to get pregnant and that is "fair?"

[mugster]

Mar 30, 2015 20:14:41 GMT -5 Ray said:

Mar 30, 2015 18:21:35 GMT -5 @debthelibrarian said:

Which is great. Because GKU is WHERE YOU GO. But what is happening, is people are feeling pushed out by the other posters who may not "go here".

Have all the random threads you want. But don't expect everyone to be happy that they're being pushed out of their home by visitors.

But people should be happy that they get immediately evicted the second they turn a test? Idk like I said before, I think the situation has a really simple answer. If siggys, be the pregnancy, kids, loss recaps, whatever are upsetting to you (not your specifically, "you" in the general sense) turn them off.

I think this answer is not as simple as it seems. I'm not bothered by siggys, but I can see wanting to be able to see them without pain. We put info in our siggys that explains where we are coming from, siggy challenges are fun, siggys are entertaining ... I understand wanting to see siggys even if pregnancy is a trigger...

[mishy2010]

icequeen So sorry you're going through such a frustrating experience right now. I don't have any advice but I hope you get answers soon.

[housecarder]

Mar 30, 2015 20:18:19 GMT -5 Fearsy said:

Mar 30, 2015 20:06:20 GMT -5 housecarder said:

I think that, at least for me, hearing about pregnancies and new babies is harder than seeing older children when TTC gets hard. I understand both sides of the ticker issue and I don't really have an easy answer. I'm sorry that people are feeling pushed out and are missing grads.

I get that. I really do.But while you might feel hurt by seeing pregnancy tickers and new babies, there are others who are hurt by seeing child birthday tickers and pictures of children. There are women who have had losses and are triggered by loss info in siggies, yet we aren't asking those siggies to be hidden. There are women who have reached EDD anniversaries and miss their lost ones and the 2 year old ticker or picture could be triggering, yet we aren't asking those siggies to be hidden either. I just fail to see how it's any different for those who are pregnant. And I will continue to ask until someone explains to me the clear difference between the two.

Like I said, neither bother me, but I could see why pregnancy tickers are harder for some here than child tickers. I don't have an easy answer either. I don't want to censor anyone but I also don't want people who feel like this is the one place they can get support and understanding and they are being pushed out.

[joy]

Mar 30, 2015 20:19:58 GMT -5 Fearsy said:

Mar 30, 2015 20:11:00 GMT -5 valie said:

Oh good, now I can play:
PG tickers are for an inside baby.
Child tickers are for an outside baby.

Difference is that while you've got an inside baby you're not getting another no matter how much you HIO.

Tell that to @ketchup.

Have I missed a story?

[valie]

Are Ketchup and Irish Twins a Day related? I'm going to need a hint or a link or something. Fearsy, anonymouseliza

[squeakyduck]

Mar 30, 2015 20:19:54 GMT -5 mugster said:

Mar 30, 2015 20:14:41 GMT -5 Ray said:

But people should be happy that they get immediately evicted the second they turn a test? Idk like I said before, I think the situation has a really simple answer. If siggys, be the pregnancy, kids, loss recaps, whatever are upsetting to you (not your specifically, "you" in the general sense) turn them off.

I think this answer is not as simple as it seems. I'm not bothered by siggys, but I can see wanting to be able to see them without pain. We put info in our siggys that explains where we are coming from, siggy challenges are fun, siggys are entertaining ... I understand wanting to see siggys even if pregnancy is a trigger...

I am bothered by your siggy. WTF is that rock thing? I've been wondering for a while now. 

[mugster]

Mar 30, 2015 20:24:26 GMT -5 squeakyduck said:

Mar 30, 2015 20:19:54 GMT -5 mugster said:

I think this answer is not as simple as it seems. I'm not bothered by siggys, but I can see wanting to be able to see them without pain. We put info in our siggys that explains where we are coming from, siggy challenges are fun, siggys are entertaining ... I understand wanting to see siggys even if pregnancy is a trigger...

I am bothered by your siggy. WTF is that rock thing? I've been wondering for a while now. 

It is magnetic silly putty swallowing a magnet.

[valie]

Mar 30, 2015 20:25:31 GMT -5 Fearsy said:

Mar 30, 2015 20:22:03 GMT -5 joy said:

Have I missed a story?

K has two uteri...so she can essentially conceive on the other side even if she's already pregnant.

That is amazing! I don't know of anyone with two uteri IRL.

[cnf2013]

Mar 30, 2015 20:26:29 GMT -5 mugster said:

Mar 30, 2015 20:24:26 GMT -5 squeakyduck said:

I am bothered by your siggy. WTF is that rock thing? I've been wondering for a while now. 

It is magnetic silly putty swallowing a magnet.

I quite enjoy it myself. 

[Lollipop]

Mar 30, 2015 20:25:31 GMT -5 Fearsy said:

Mar 30, 2015 20:22:03 GMT -5 joy said:

Have I missed a story?

K has two uteri...so she can essentially conceive on the other side even if she's already pregnant.

That's... Interesting. Cool? Scary? I'm not sure, but wow.

[anonymouseliza]

Mar 30, 2015 20:24:20 GMT -5 valie said:

Are Ketchup and Irish Twins a Day related? I'm going to need a hint or a link or something. Fearsy, anonymouseliza

No, no, not at all.

[mugster]

I can solve this: I'll just find creepier and creepier siggys until nobody wants to see any siggys... Equal footing for all!

[easilyunamused]

Honestly, I know this discussion can't be resolved in a day, but you can see tickers all over the site. I hate to see anyone leave our community over what most people saw as a positive thing. Real talk, there aren't even that many pregnant posters coming back everyday to hang out. I'm not being insensitive, I know they can be hard to see sometimes, I just think it's being turned into a bigger deal that in needs to be.

[squeakyduck]

Mar 30, 2015 20:26:29 GMT -5 mugster said:

Mar 30, 2015 20:24:26 GMT -5 squeakyduck said:

I am bothered by your siggy. WTF is that rock thing? I've been wondering for a while now. 

It is magnetic silly putty swallowing a magnet.

Cool. It's mesmerizing. I just needed to know what it was I was looking at. 

[awkwardturtle]

I'm not trying to downplay anyone's feelings, but I never pay attention to siggies. My vision kind of blurs and I scroll pretty fast, so as soon as I'm finished reading a comment I immediately go to the next comment without seeing the siggy. I have to make myself slow down and look at the siggy if I want to see it... Not that that helps anyone.

I am in the 6+ month range as well so I completely get the limbo period, but ultimately this isn't the 3T board. Maybe a 6+ month weekly check in? Maybe that's a stupid idea, I don't know.

I do think that most posters on here do want to follow board culture and they also do not want to cause anyone offense in any way.

[squeakyduck]

Mar 30, 2015 20:25:31 GMT -5 Fearsy said:

Mar 30, 2015 20:22:03 GMT -5 joy said:

Have I missed a story?

K has two uteri...so she can essentially conceive on the other side even if she's already pregnant.

But wouldn't being pregnant most likely keep you from ovulating? Are the chances of that happening high?






Edit: damn it, I forgot to hide the siggy. Siggy warning? I just want everyone to be happy. 

[DanaScullyX]

Mar 30, 2015 20:22:21 GMT -5 Fearsy said:

Mar 30, 2015 20:14:11 GMT -5 DanaScullyX said:

I am going to quote someone else from another discussion we had more privately, and I really hope this is okay, GoBigOrGoGnome.

"The best analogy that I can come up with is that it'd be like if you were in HS trying to apply to college and your friends got in to your dream school but you didn't, or you got in but it then found out it was a clerical mistake or something... People with full fledged careers probably wouldn't bother you too much, because you still have a shot at that eventually and it almost seems hypothetical, but your friends posting pics of themselves getting drunk off their asses in the student section of the football game would probably be pretty awful.

We all do want to be parents eventually, and I'd like to think that will happen for all of us in some way, shape, or form. But, for right now, the goal is pregnancy and I think the tickers remind people of what they don't have."

So based on this logic, shouldn't child tickers and photos of children remind you of what you don't have as well? I'm really not trying to be a dick. I'm genuinely trying to understand.

No, because I still believe I will have a child one day.

I am just going by how I feel. With both of my losses, I would still be pregnant right now, and it hurts to see those who got pregnant after me or with my due date posting.

[DanaScullyX]

Mar 30, 2015 20:33:22 GMT -5 easilyunamused said:

Honestly, I know this discussion can't be resolved in a day, but you can see tickers all over the site. I hate to see anyone leave our community over what most people saw as a positive thing. Real talk, there aren't even that many pregnant posters coming back everyday to hang out. I'm not being insensitive, I know they can be hard to see sometimes, I just think it's being turned into a bigger deal that in needs to be.

But I don't go all over the site. I used to go here.

Beating this dead horse won't change me, and the culture of the board has been decided. It is what it is.

[anonymouseliza]

valie

Irish Twins is no more on the internets, but this is an apt synopsis "The synopsis: A 21 year old was pregnant and had unprotected sex while pregnant. She posted on the bump asking if it was possible for a 2nd baby to be growing in her - she was paranoid about having "Irish Twins". It was so epic that people sported "I survived Irish Twin Day" badges for over a year. "
 
ETA, the original post asked what birth control options people were using while pregnant.  Even after biology and maths were explained, it went on and on.

[squeakyduck]

Mar 30, 2015 20:42:28 GMT -5 anonymouseliza said:

valie

Irish Twins is no more on the internets, but this is an apt synopsis "The synopsis: A 21 year old was pregnant and had unprotected sex while pregnant. She posted on the bump asking if it was possible for a 2nd baby to be growing in her - she was paranoid about having "Irish Twins". It was so epic that people sported "I survived Irish Twin Day" badges for over a year. "

There should be a wiki for things like this. With screenshots. RIP bump.