This, right here. You just dismissed my feelings again and basically said what I feel is not important.
joy, if this board is not the same concept at TTGP was, then why the hell is it called GETTING knocked up? Getting. I take that to mean it should be the home board of those who are wanting to get knocked up. Yes, that does mean that people who are pregnant and/or have been pregnant have important things to add to the conversations. But, I am sorry, it should not mean pregnant people should be posting in all the randoms threads and making chit chat all day long. Also, the pregnancy tickers bother me. I get that not everyone agrees, but I still have felt incredibly dismissed and I still do not see why I have to hid all siggies when posting on the board I "go" to. I do not fit in on any of the other boards and I also don't want to leave my friends on GKU.
That's how I feel, and it is why I no longer come to GKU. I see nothing will change and so enjoy your community.
I feel like you are confusing me as well as being very legalistic. You do fit on other boards. (Pregnancy Loss, CAL, BOTB to name a few) Unless I'm completely under a rock, I rarely see pregglies with tickers on this board. Aren't parents TFAS also trying to GKU? (Also bolded) That means they, with their baby's age tickers should get to post here too! I personally just feel like its easier for the person offended to hide all siggies because they are having a bad day/week/month/etc versus the pregglies who may stop in from time to time, when others want them here to add their expertise to a conversation. (Thus signatures useful so people know they know what's up) To add, where is the cut-off? These rules can blur very easily. For example: Only people trying for their first and without loss can post on this board? If you've had a MC, CP, or anything similar, then they should only be on CAL? So nobody accidentally hurts their feelings. (This is where I would be) If you are TFAS, we need to make a separate board so as not to disturb those trying for their 1st as well as those who've had a MC. If you've been trying for more than 6 months, you need to have a separate TTC >6+ months board and a whole other separate board for those TTC>35yo and 6+ months trying... It would be endless!
I'm also not sure how signatures work. If they disable them while they are active on this board, and then go turn them back on while back on their own board, don't they just show back up here? Reason I'm confused is if I post with my March Signature, then when I changed it to April Signature, all my previous posts had my new signature.
I don't feel like anyone is dismissing your feelings but like previous posters have said, they can't please everyone. I thought when the discussions on the Board Culture post happened, they just followed the majority.
::Sorry for Rambling, I like debates::
TL; DR: Some people are going to be hurt no matter what is decided.
Honestly, I know this discussion can't be resolved in a day, but you can see tickers all over the site. I hate to see anyone leave our community over what most people saw as a positive thing. Real talk, there aren't even that many pregnant posters coming back everyday to hang out. I'm not being insensitive, I know they can be hard to see sometimes, I just think it's being turned into a bigger deal that in needs to be.
But I don't go all over the site. I used to go here.
Beating this dead horse won't change me, and the culture of the board has been decided. It is what it is.
And for that I am sorry, because I know that a lot of people miss you around here, including me. I hate that it has come to this. But, you are right, it is what it is. I'll just have to stalk you once in a while to see how you are doing;)
So based on this logic, shouldn't child tickers and photos of children remind you of what you don't have as well? I'm really not trying to be a dick. I'm genuinely trying to understand.
No, because I still believe I will have a child one day.
I am just going by how I feel. With both of my losses, I would still be pregnant right now, and it hurts to see those who got pregnant after me or with my due date posting.
I HAVE a child and we're technically under 6 months trying, and there are days BFPs and pregnancy tickers are hard for me. Just last week close friends disclosed a second pregnancy to MH & I and though we are certainly happy for them, it was hard for us.
I don't claim to understand where someone who has not had a successful pregnancy, been through losses, IF, or a much longer/different journey than I is coming from, but I feel there is a part of me that does get it, on some level. If it's hard for me now, how hard must it be for them? I truly can't imagine.
I wanted (and fully believed) I would have a baby someday when my friends and family started having them and we weren't ready. I was jealous sometimes and all that, but it was TOTALLY different than how I feel now, actively TTC and being unsuccessful (so far)... and again, this is now that I HAVE a child.
I really, really hate that people aren't posting here because of this. That's really the take away for me.
Post by squeakyduck on Mar 30, 2015 21:06:42 GMT -5
cheshie6, on desktop, a poster can disable their sig on a post by post basis. So I've disabled my sig on this post, but forgot on an earlier reply, so you can scroll back and see it. That one will change with every update. Right now, the ticker is under a spoiler jump. But if I post from my phone, I don't have the option to hid my sig at all, so I either need to make my sig GKU friendly or not post from my phone. EDit: words.
No, because I still believe I will have a child one day.
I am just going by how I feel. With both of my losses, I would still be pregnant right now, and it hurts to see those who got pregnant after me or with my due date posting.
I HAVE a child and we're technically under 6 months trying, and there are days BFPs and pregnancy tickers are hard for me. Just last week close friends disclosed a second pregnancy to MH & I and though we are certainly happy for them, it was hard for us.
I don't claim to understand where someone who has not had a successful pregnancy, been through losses, IF, or a much longer/different journey than I is coming from, but I feel there is a part of me that does get it, on some level. If it's hard for me now, how hard must it be for them? I truly can't imagine.
I wanted (and fully believed) I would have a baby someday when my friends and family started having them and we weren't ready. I was jealous sometimes and all that, but it was TOTALLY different than how I feel now, actively TTC and being unsuccessful (so far)... and again, this is now that I HAVE a child.
I really, really hate that people aren't posting here because of this. That's really the take away for me.
FWIW, the crazy train stuff hasn't always been the norm in the TWW, and it's frequently made fun of in other threads (or at least it was on TB). The whole "testing party!!111eleventy111!" nonsense is fairly recent, and Julia is right in that anyone testing on 7DPO or saying they're out on 10DPO should be flamed. The thing many/most loved about TB was that we were a no-nonsense, FACTS-based community. Some of the stuff I've seen in the TWW is the complete opposite of that - and deserves to be called out.
<--- posted all kinds of nonsense when new <--- got flamed <--- learned things <--- stopped POAS at 7, 8 DPO etc. and wasting $$ <--- gets along quite well now (I think? most of the time) <--- participates in WTO/TWW but definitely does a lot of eyerolling these days
edit: GDI proboards I wanted to say 8 DPO not weird face thingy
Funnnnnny you bring this up, because as I read your earlier posts in this thread I kept thinking, "Holy shit this lady has totalllllly done a 180 and I LOVE her now!!!!"
I hope that doesn't offend you. I wouldn't have posted it but since you posted the above I felt it was safe to say. Love you now, so that's what matters, right!??!
This, right here. You just dismissed my feelings again and basically said what I feel is not important.
joy, if this board is not the same concept at TTGP was, then why the hell is it called GETTING knocked up? Getting. I take that to mean it should be the home board of those who are wanting to get knocked up. Yes, that does mean that people who are pregnant and/or have been pregnant have important things to add to the conversations. But, I am sorry, it should not mean pregnant people should be posting in all the randoms threads and making chit chat all day long. Also, the pregnancy tickers bother me. I get that not everyone agrees, but I still have felt incredibly dismissed and I still do not see why I have to hid all siggies when posting on the board I "go" to. I do not fit in on any of the other boards and I also don't want to leave my friends on GKU.
That's how I feel, and it is why I no longer come to GKU. I see nothing will change and so enjoy your community.
I feel like you are confusing me as well as being very legalistic. You do fit on other boards. (Pregnancy Loss, CAL, BOTB to name a few) Unless I'm completely under a rock, I rarely see pregglies with tickers on this board. Aren't parents TFAS also trying to GKU? (Also bolded) That means they, with their baby's age tickers should get to post here too! I personally just feel like its easier for the person offended to hide all siggies because they are having a bad day/week/month/etc versus the pregglies who may stop in from time to time, when others want them here to add their expertise to a conversation. (Thus signatures useful so people know they know what's up) To add, where is the cut-off? These rules can blur very easily. For example: Only people trying for their first and without loss can post on this board? If you've had a MC, CP, or anything similar, then they should only be on CAL? So nobody accidentally hurts their feelings. (This is where I would be) If you are TFAS, we need to make a separate board so as not to disturb those trying for their 1st as well as those who've had a MC. If you've been trying for more than 6 months, you need to have a separate TTC >6+ months board and a whole other separate board for those TTC>35yo and 6+ months trying... It would be endless!
I'm also not sure how signatures work. If they disable them while they are active on this board, and then go turn them back on while back on their own board, don't they just show back up here? Reason I'm confused is if I post with my March Signature, then when I changed it to April Signature, all my previous posts had my new signature.
I don't feel like anyone is dismissing your feelings but like previous posters have said, they can't please everyone. I thought when the discussions on the Board Culture post happened, they just followed the majority.
::Sorry for Rambling, I like debates::
TL; DR: Some people are going to be hurt no matter what is decided.
I am really done trying to explain. I feel how I feel and just like I can't make you all understand or change your minds, you can't change my feelings. But, I said I do think people with children should be posting, and of course those TFAS have every right to be here. I never said we should have draconian rules about posting. I said this a the home board for those trying to get pregnant, and that I think that should be the focus, and that pregnancy tickers bother me. Not bother, as in they shouldn't exist or people shouldn't have them, but bother me when I see them in the middle of a discussion because they make me sad and feel sorry for myself. That's all.
<--- posted all kinds of nonsense when new <--- got flamed <--- learned things <--- stopped POAS at 7, 8 DPO etc. and wasting $$ <--- gets along quite well now (I think? most of the time) <--- participates in WTO/TWW but definitely does a lot of eyerolling these days
edit: GDI proboards I wanted to say 8 DPO not weird face thingy
Funnnnnny you bring this up, because as I read your earlier posts in this thread I kept thinking, "Holy shit this lady has totalllllly done a 180 and I LOVE her now!!!!"
I hope that doesn't offend you. I wouldn't have posted it but since you posted the above I felt it was safe to say. Love you now, so that's what matters, right!??!
Yes! Obviously! I am loved! Squeeeee!
I like to be the *shining* example of live, learn, adapt, and then be awesome. I seriously had no effing clue when I came here. I fully admit it. I also got some random/weird/bad advice and was all this is what they told me to do!!!!Eleventy!!!11!!1! But then, calm tits. Come to PB. Start over. Do better. Drink wine. Happy ending!
Post by meerkatmillie on Mar 30, 2015 21:31:05 GMT -5
I'm not completely bothered by pregnancy tickers and pics of children but it would be nice to be able to disable signatures without losing the ability to see fertility friend charts.
And I wish I could organize the posts on the main board by post date instead of the way it is now with it putting the most recently updated posts at the top…. With people wanting to say congrats to BFPs, it keeps them at the top for a really long time. I am happy for the BFPs, but seeing a cluster of them all at the top every day has been wearing on me. I think one of the mods said this is an enhancement in the works?
Funnnnnny you bring this up, because as I read your earlier posts in this thread I kept thinking, "Holy shit this lady has totalllllly done a 180 and I LOVE her now!!!!"
I hope that doesn't offend you. I wouldn't have posted it but since you posted the above I felt it was safe to say. Love you now, so that's what matters, right!??!
Yes! Obviously! I am loved! Squeeeee!
I like to be the *shining* example of live, learn, adapt, and then be awesome. I seriously had no effing clue when I came here. I fully admit it. I also got some random/weird/bad advice and was all this is what they told me to do!!!!Eleventy!!!11!!1! But then, calm tits. Come to PB. Start over. Do better. Drink wine. Happy ending!
Post by helloerrbody on Mar 30, 2015 21:38:08 GMT -5
I just want to add that I really miss DanaScullyX and @debthelibrarian and wish we could come to a compromise that would allow everyone to feel welcome here, especially those that are trying to get KU. I want pregnant mamas to post here for sure, but I also agree with the point that this board is called Getting Knocked Up and so maybe in a tough spot like this those trying to get pregnant should be heard!?
I just want to add that I really miss DanaScullyX and @debthelibrarian and wish we could come to a compromise that would allow everyone to feel welcome here, especially those that are trying to get KU. I want pregnant mamas to post here for sure, but I also agree with the point that this board is called Getting Knocked Up and so maybe in a tough spot like this those trying to get pregnant should be heard!?
I really think a poll is the way to go here. In both conversations about this, it's only been a handful of people commenting. It'd be nice to get a consensus.
*TWW Monday*Mar 30, 2015 21:48:36 GMT -5via mobile
Post by Deleted on Mar 30, 2015 21:48:36 GMT -5
I may be out of place being a chronic lurker, but how are the pregnant/child siggies any different than a pregnant person talking to you at the office or going out to lunch with a friend with kids? This board isn't overrun with grads and I only see occasional grad posts in random or congratulatory threads. They stay out of the TTC threads.
Pregnant people and other children exist in this world and you can't blind yourself to every one. I still see this as a safe place with threads designed specifically for those TTC. If you truly can't bear to see a ticker or pictures of children, you should make the choice to hide siggies yourself. And there are other boards, such as 3T and AL that are designed to be even more sensitive to these issues.
As for pee sticks, the TWW is really the only appropriate place for questions involving those. I believe a spoiler would be the best answer so people can still ask legitimate questions but those not wanting to look can avoid it.
Hi, I'm a little late to the discussion today. So here goes...I've never viewed myself as an overly opinionated person on this board. I feel like i'm more of an annoying buzz in people's ear that they roll their eyes at. Nevertheless, I am someone that sits in limbo with TTCing 6 months +. I have never had a BFP, nor have I ever experienced a loss. My heart breaks everytime someone asks to come back. I cannot even fathom how difficult that experience can be for others.
That being said, there are some days I get overwhelmed by the amount of BFPs, but I try to put blinders on until I find a thread with an interesting discussion. This cycle I had decided to stay out of WTO/TWW in order to try to regain a little sanity; unfortunately, today's discussion has brought me back in. I really hate that this conflict is happening. I would really like to assist in helping to resolve it. I'm wondering if a true flame free thread could be started where people could post grievances so that everyone can get a better sense of what is going. And I mean a true flame free thread, just leave your concerns without commenting on what others have to say. I understand that this probably close to impossible, but it's something to atleast consider. I hate that there are people who felt uncomfortable speaking up in the Board Culture thread. I didn't really contribute to it, but that is because I did not have any personal concerns to bring up.
I'm geniunely confused about what is going on. I really wish that everyone felt they had an equal voice. This an online forum. No one should be afraid to speak up ever. Can we create temporary grievances board that would have a strict no flaming rule so the mods can get a better idea of what's going on here.
I agree with cheshie6 that we won't make everyone happy, but they should be able to freely voice concerns instead of disappearing from the board. This goes for everyone, and I mean everyone, here.
Edit: I'm not sorry for rambling. I rarely involve myself in big debates. I'm a union rep. I thrive on resolving conflict.
*TWW Monday*Mar 30, 2015 21:52:00 GMT -5via mobile
Post by icaughtfire on Mar 30, 2015 21:52:00 GMT -5
DanaScullyX & @debthelibrarian...I love you both. Your feelings are not wrong, nor do you have to continuously explain WHY you feel what you do.
If someone doesn't get it, they don't get it. All the talk in the world won't make one side or the other "right." I think you've both done the best you can in explaining your feelz. Other posters can choose to understand, be sympathetic, and let you do what you think is best for you. Or they can continue to question you & try to change your feelings.
I feel the second option is kind of an asshole thing to do.
Number One: Born 06.16.2009 BFP: 01.17.2014 / MC 02.05.2014 BFP: 03.08.2014 / MMC: 05.07.2014 Dx: Partial Molar/GTD. Benched until 01.2015 Number Two: Born 07.22.2016
As I'm sure I said in my first post on this topic, it actually doesn't bother me. But it bothers me that my friends are hurt. And I'd rather stand up for them than just let them stand up for themselves alone. Because that's what friends are for.
I like to be the *shining* example of live, learn, adapt, and then be awesome. I seriously had no effing clue when I came here. I fully admit it. I also got some random/weird/bad advice and was all this is what they told me to do!!!!Eleventy!!!11!!1! But then, calm tits. Come to PB. Start over. Do better. Drink wine. Happy ending!
Rando question: I've heard that on desktop you can mark a thread as read forever. Does this mean it will no longer appear at the top of the board when ppl comment on it or does it just not flag the new comments?
If it keeps it from bumping and old thread back to the top when someone comments a week later, I wish a mobile option could be added to be able to do this not only on desktop. I can do desktop IF it will keep it from going to the top but will not bother marking stuff if it only takes away the yellow new flag.
No. It still comes to the top, it just won't say "new" anymore/
Also: please no more poll suggestions. Discussions like these need to be had and most people's feelz are more complicated than clicking "yes/no." Also, just because the majority feels one way it doesn't mean that the minority's opinions are any less valued or significant. Not everything can be solved by a poll.
Number One: Born 06.16.2009 BFP: 01.17.2014 / MC 02.05.2014 BFP: 03.08.2014 / MMC: 05.07.2014 Dx: Partial Molar/GTD. Benched until 01.2015 Number Two: Born 07.22.2016
@littleliverpill - With my idea of the flame free thread, I am talking about thread where a list of grievances could be generated for review. Once they were reviewed it would give mods a better idea of major board concerns that need to be addressed. My hope with stating that it's a grievance post only thread is that it would encourage more people to speak up. Wishful thinking, I know.
P.S. I miss you DanaScullyX , you truly get my dislike of Jennifer Love Hewitt.
Post by anonymouseliza on Mar 30, 2015 22:10:47 GMT -5
So why hasn't anyone said anything in the 2ww threads? I haven't been in one except randomly in the last 30+ days because I was WTO. I guess I'm unclear on what particular brands of crazy are and aren't allowed there. I agree that if someone is saying something truly ludicrous they should be called out. Feeling implantation? Symptoms at 4 dpo? Call it out. Who cares when the fuck someone tests, so long as they don't go insane over an early BFN? It's their fucking money to burn. Has someone said that truly dumb things are off limits to flaming?
Also: please no more poll suggestions. Discussions like these need to be had and most people's feelz are more complicated than clicking "yes/no." Also, just because the majority feels one way it doesn't mean that the minority's opinions are any less valued or significant. Not everything can be solved by a poll.
*Shrug* Not everyone has super complicated feels about this. A poll is sometimes a nice way for people with the minority opinion to make their voices heard without being drowned out by the majority.
Hi everyone! I am officially TTC for my 2nd child. I'm going to be honest, I don't know CD or anything :/ I just got my mirena out in February and had one period since.
Hi everyone! I am officially TTC for my 2nd child. I'm going to be honest, I don't know CD or anything :/ I just got my mirena out in February and had one period since.
Signing up for Fertility Friend & tracking your BBT would be super helpful.
Number One: Born 06.16.2009 BFP: 01.17.2014 / MC 02.05.2014 BFP: 03.08.2014 / MMC: 05.07.2014 Dx: Partial Molar/GTD. Benched until 01.2015 Number Two: Born 07.22.2016
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