I am pro privacy and anti lurkers. I get that people are shy/busy/whatever...but after 2 years it just feels too weird. We have proven we are welcoming to ppl who come out of the woodwork (caer, squirm) so I really don't understand why people just don't post.
I will be sad to see you ladies go private but completely understand. I lurked TD a long time before opening up in parenting then found my way here. I don't share too much personal info for the same reasons you all want to go private. I've always wanted to be more supportive to those needing it, but at times felt creepy because I'm rather new and like someone mentioned, reading about your lives but you know nothing about mine.
That being said I hope you all know how much your dedication and knowledge has helped a lot of lurkers and new comers. Prime example: I knew only from here that most of you weren't turning LO to foward facing until 2. My LO however hates the car and screams bloody murder. DH is desperate to get him to gain 2 pounds so we can turn him in hopes that he would like the car better. I showed him the links that someone posted in that thread on why it's best to wait. It convinced him! I have you ladies to thank! I'd rather hear him scream for another year than to have something terrible happen that could have been prevented.
I wouldn't feel comfortable joining your private group because I understand how you all want a tight knit group and privacy. I'm sure I will find my way elsewhere.
I will miss this group if it happens, but I'm thankful for the time I had here
Fwiw, @unicornofthesea, I recognize you and don't think of you as a lurker. I think of lurkers as people who literally never post.
I will be sad to see you ladies go private but completely understand. I lurked TD a long time before opening up in parenting then found my way here. I don't share too much personal info for the same reasons you all want to go private. I've always wanted to be more supportive to those needing it, but at times felt creepy because I'm rather new and like someone mentioned, reading about your lives but you know nothing about mine.
That being said I hope you all know how much your dedication and knowledge has helped a lot of lurkers and new comers. Prime example: I knew only from here that most of you weren't turning LO to foward facing until 2. My LO however hates the car and screams bloody murder. DH is desperate to get him to gain 2 pounds so we can turn him in hopes that he would like the car better. I showed him the links that someone posted in that thread on why it's best to wait. It convinced him! I have you ladies to thank! I'd rather hear him scream for another year than to have something terrible happen that could have been prevented.
I wouldn't feel comfortable joining your private group because I understand how you all want a tight knit group and privacy. I'm sure I will find my way elsewhere.
I will miss this group if it happens, but I'm thankful for the time I had here
Fwiw, @unicornofthesea, I recognize you and don't think of you as a lurker. I think of lurkers as people who literally never post.
This! I don't know where you think you're going. You're here!
I just went looking for a 'one of us' gif and a lot of them are terrifying. I will spare you all.
I understand the feelings of PPs in saying that it's too late now for new lurkers to come forward, but I don't necessarily agree. I think sometimes it takes a push like this.
I have mixed feelings about this, on one hand I can sympathize if someone is shy/feels awkward coming out to say "hey I've been reading all about you guys for the past two years..." because it is a bit awkward. However, if the problem has been you're "too busy" to post, I guess I just feel like that's too bad you can't keep reading about my life now? It's not like we really talk much about current events, or whatever. By and large our conversations center around our personal lives - our kids/families, pets, etc.
While it's very nice that we've helped people there is a TON of information on the internet about general child rearing. The benefits of RFing, for example, are easy to google. And there are tons of baby/parenting sites with articles/blog posts/etc about all those things. Information about child development is readily available online.
I realize this sounds unsympathetic, I guess I just don't care? Our lives shouldn't be reading material for unknown persons to unwind after a busy day or to pass time at their lunch break or whatever. If you have the time to read, you have time to post. If you haven't been motivated to take part in our community then I am having a hard time finding sympathy. Also, I'm a bit cranky today, courtesy of H making some stupid decisions which have no bearing on this conversation other than it may be impacting my general mood.
I agree with the general sentiment that if "we" don't know you by now, we don't want to include you in F14 3.0 Sorrynotsorry. You had your chance lurkers, we had a mass outing when we moved to PB, several took that opportunity to decloak. Those that actually participated, we welcomed.
I have mixed feelings about this, on one hand I can sympathize if someone is shy/feels awkward coming out to say "hey I've been reading all about you guys for the past two years..." because it is a bit awkward. However, if the problem has been you're "too busy" to post, I guess I just feel like that's too bad you can't keep reading about my life now? It's not like we really talk much about current events, or whatever. By and large our conversations center around our personal lives - our kids/families, pets, etc.
While it's very nice that we've helped people there is a TON of information on the internet about general child rearing. The benefits of RFing, for example, are easy to google. And there are tons of baby/parenting sites with articles/blog posts/etc about all those things. Information about child development is readily available online.
I realize this sounds unsympathetic, I guess I just don't care? Our lives shouldn't be reading material for unknown persons to unwind after a busy day or to pass time at their lunch break or whatever. If you have the time to read, you have time to post. If you haven't been motivated to take part in our community then I am having a hard time finding sympathy. Also, I'm a bit cranky today, courtesy of H making some stupid decisions which have no bearing on this conversation other than it may be impacting my general mood.
I agree.
I'm really not trying to be all mean girls but clearly my feels are to exclude lurkers. I've seen a new person post here today for what I think is the first time. It seems super sketch to me to suddenly start posting in hopes that you make the cut. There's a ton of child development info out there. It's hard to believe that's the reason to be here instead of reading about our lives.
I didn't even realize I have such strong feels on the subject and in fact, I'd be fine staying public since I don't share a ton of personal stuff, but if we go private, some people will share more and I don't think that should be available for the people who may be here solely to read that type of stuff about us.
OK, then, what would be the litmus test? Does everyone have to post to see if they're recognized? (Because that *does* seem mean.) Or just based on post history (whether they've posted here)? It needs to be consistent, and easy to explain. IMHO.
I had no idea people had such strong feels about lurkers.
megash113 I appreciate the vote of confidence, but I'm probably the wrong bleeding-heart liberal to put in charge. Everyone gets in! Give me your tired, huddled masses, etc.
It seems the general consensus is all who participate are welcome, perhaps a minimum # of posts?
Once we get the sub-board set up from admins, and figure out who is gate keeper, I'd say we need a thread to request PW and whomever gets put in charge can PM those people? ETA - I think everyone should have to publicly request the PW. That could help eliminate the concerns of the PW being forwarded to "unknowns" since there would be a history of who has it.
Would it make sense to have a few people with the password initially? Because it could be a lot of work with PMs for just one person since we have a lot of posters. I mean, everyone is going to have it eventually, so whether we hand it out to one or three or whatever to initially pass it out, it doesn't much matter.
I would probably go with post history. Then if there are any that are too close to tell we can discuss it via PM or once the board is private to see if we include them?
I don't love the idea of us discussing who's "in" and who's "out."
I would probably go with post history. Then if there are any that are too close to tell we can discuss it via PM or once the board is private to see if we include them?
I don't love the idea of us discussing who's "in" and who's "out."
You've either posted here or you haven't.
But what counts as posted here? One post? Not so much, obviously. But 5? 10? 30? I think the discussion is in, where is the cutoff #
I would probably go with post history. Then if there are any that are too close to tell we can discuss it via PM or once the board is private to see if we include them?
I don't love the idea of us discussing who's "in" and who's "out."
You've either posted here or you haven't.
I would say just a post about who wants password and see who responds. I really think there will be little to no people who request the password and we have to make a judgement call.
One thing to note about post count is that it isn't unique to F14. I don't think someone who has 50 posts in another board and 1 here should be included.
I can volunteer as gate keeper... But I might be the exact opposite of books. NO ONE GETS IN. MUAHAHAHAHA
LOL
I'm fine with being a gate keeper too, and I truly don't think it matters long term since we'll all have the password anyway. Assuming that's fine with everyone else?
I can volunteer as gate keeper... But I might be the exact opposite of books. NO ONE GETS IN. MUAHAHAHAHA
LOL
I'm fine with being a gate keeper too, and I truly don't think it matters long term since we'll all have the password anyway. Assuming that's fine with everyone else?
I was thinking that. After the initial privatization the group won't get bigger.
One thing to note about post count is that it isn't unique to F14. I don't think someone who has 50 posts in another board and 1 here should be included.
Good point, but I'm not sure this will really be a problem for more than a handful of people. I'd say even sporadic posters most of us know/recognize. I'm fine with people I don't personally recognize so long as they've posted here previously, and a few others do recognize the name.
Post by hammysmommy on Apr 6, 2015 11:59:02 GMT -5
theophania - would the subforum have a description/contact link for people to request admission? Just thinking about some of TD moms who didn't migrate with us (yet) but may decide to come over and rejoin...
theophania - would the subforum have a description/contact link for people to request admission? Just thinking about some of TD moms who didn't migrate with us (yet) but may decide to come over and rejoin...
I'm guessing if someone who used to post here and disappeared comes back to a ghost forum, they'll try to contact someone they know via PM, FB or other?
That was my thought, it won't be like TB where our accounts are all gone, we can still post publicly other places and be reachable by PM if needed. So will it be a new subforum? If so will the current one stay as is? Case then they'd see this thread anyway.
And I'm cool with those gatekeepers, and I'd be fine letting anyone in who has posted here before today.
So boogerbearlaur @joybaby5 and me. Is that good with anyone who cares? Haha
Sounds good, but I would suggest it be an uneven numbers, so that just I case there is a debate about it a tie can't occur. Am I overthinking this?
What maybe if it is a tie, it should go to a poll vote to determine inclusion. I'm just considering maybe latecomers from TD.
Also, I'm good either way here, but if privacy makes my friends happy, I'm cool with that. I am still a little sad because I feel if we go private it takes away from the larger community some. We are one of the larger more active boards I think.
Post by jackiep1023 on Apr 6, 2015 13:06:21 GMT -5
I voted, but don't think I ever commented. I'm fine with going private. All the ideas, and everything that's been talked about is good with me.
Lurkers at this point are pretty creepy, IMO... and the biggest reason we want to go private is to enforce better privacy... so no lurkers. Sorrynotsorry. They all had their chance when we switched locations, and those that made an appearance were welcomed then.
So without being all like "please accept me, I don't want to be left out!!" I feel like I'm on the fence of lurker/infrequent poster. So I guess my question is do you recognize me?
So without being all like "please accept me, I don't want to be left out!!" I feel like I'm on the fence of lurker/infrequent poster. So I guess my question is do you recognize me?
Yes! You have over one hundred posts on this forum. At the risk of repeating myself, I think lurkers are people who have literally (the actual definition of the word) never posted . Also, I'm 100% with bookshelves. This is just my opinion but I'm not anti-lurker. If someone jumped in with two feet and started posting, I'd be cool with that. My only hesitation would be with people who only posted to ask to be part of the private group.
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