Sure I can be a troll or basic if you want to believe. I think I would be more upset if I were keeping these things from my husband. I think no one can fathom how honest I am with him. Like I said he has been by my side in past relationships before we were together. He's here for me if I stay and supports me if I go.
Ya know, I still kind of want to know about how if you don't define his cult participation as the "difference in core values," that you cited, what IS? Other that you having an affair and being 100% honest about it?
He doesn't want DD to be around religious activities. I'm Baha'i so obviously she would be around religion. My mom and entire family are Christians. Even more religion. He doesn't believe everything happens for a reason and we as people have all of the control. There's the institution of marriage stuff. Some other things he talks about I don't understand. I get annoyed when he posts things on Facebook that are insulting to someone else's beliefs. I feel he has the right to his as everyone else has the right to theirs.
PoW what bothers me most is that I can't recall you saying on this thread or others prior to this that what you want is whatever is best for your daughter. It really comes off that what you want is what you want and she is an afterthought.
She's not an afterthought and that's something DH talk about. He is more concerned about her having certain activities. He doesn't feel like she will be negatively affected by the distance as long as we visit. He wants her to experience life with my family. I complain about being away and my mom hates that we are away. My mom really wants DH to come with us. DH blames himself for me being unhappy with the location. He was unhappy when we lived in Louisiana.
SPOILER ALERT - She will be affected. There is no way she won't be affected. Nope. Not possible. And based upon the option you're legitimiately considering, there's no way she won't be negatively affected.
I need to step away from this whole situation. I'm going to go back and hide in my hole now.
I'm irate at..."fix my life" followed by a shit ton of great advice followed by your non chelant "oh brb I have shit to do" attitude. Then oh for shits and giggles no worries were gonna put TFAS on hold. Are you mocking the entire board?
Talked to DH. If I'm offered the job here I stay until I save and I would have less expenses staying here. Eventually I would still go but not at this time. If I don't get the job here then I go now.
K.
So you decide whether to stay married based on a job offer?
This is why I feel like they are both checked out. And that her DH just doesn't want to be like well I'm done.
However saying you don't believe in marriage anymore says that so again I say - COUNSELING, DIVORCE, MOVE BY YOUR PEOPLE.
I know Larry happened. Please do not try to convince me otherwise. Please don't talk to me about coffee. I don't drink it. I don't caffeine. When I state my opinion, that is me chiming in on a topic. This is not me saying you suck at life if you do or feel differently. If I want to say that, I will. If I want to speak on you, I will.
I know Larry happened. Please do not try to convince me otherwise. Please don't talk to me about coffee. I don't drink it. I don't caffeine. When I state my opinion, that is me chiming in on a topic. This is not me saying you suck at life if you do or feel differently. If I want to say that, I will. If I want to speak on you, I will.
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK DID I JUST READ. ARE YOU SERIOUS, OP?
Nothing, not a damn thing of what you said is normal, rational, or fair to your child. Nothing you said reflects that you are processing anything in a mature, adult-like manner.
Since it appears as though neither you nor your husband are interested in your child's welfare, please send her to me.
I don't know if this is coming off as mean or nasty, and frankly I don't care. I'm so pissed off and sad right now.
Honestly tell me what happens when she gets older and it actually doesn't work with DH then?
I'm irate at..."fix my life" followed by a shit ton of great advise followed by your non chelant "oh brb I have shit to do" attitude. Then oh for shits and giggles no worries were gonna put TFAS on hold. Are you mocking the entire board?
Bye Felicia
The fix my life was a play off of the show Iyanla, fix my life.
He listed things here like museums and the amusement being right down the street being good for DD. In LA we would pretty much have to travel to do anything exciting.
So he finally objected based on activities?!
What the motherfuck!? One of you have to drop balls and say once and for all - do we want to stay in this marriage or not? Because we want to be in a relationship with one another! Or fucking not!!!!
I know Larry happened. Please do not try to convince me otherwise. Please don't talk to me about coffee. I don't drink it. I don't caffeine. When I state my opinion, that is me chiming in on a topic. This is not me saying you suck at life if you do or feel differently. If I want to say that, I will. If I want to speak on you, I will.
ghostmonkey TCF Overlord- I'm pretty much unbannable
Tfas, like with which person? You want to get divorced from your H but are too busy to execute, but hell lets throw a second kid into the mix to really fuck up the matter further.
I've been following this all day while traveling and just came back to it. And I think I heard an actual, audible ::record scratch:: sound when I read tfas. I mean, I'm glad you're not doing it, but how were you even planning for it a year ago? Given that you said you're only still married out of laziness? (Or am I misremembering that?)
I know Larry happened. Please do not try to convince me otherwise. Please don't talk to me about coffee. I don't drink it. I don't caffeine. When I state my opinion, that is me chiming in on a topic. This is not me saying you suck at life if you do or feel differently. If I want to say that, I will. If I want to speak on you, I will.
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK DID I JUST READ. ARE YOU SERIOUS, OP?
Nothing, not a damn thing of what you said is normal, rational, or fair to your child. Nothing you said reflects that you are processing anything in a mature, adult-like manner.
Since it appears as though neither you nor your husband are interested in your child's welfare, please send her to me.
I don't know if this is coming off as mean or nasty, and frankly I don't care. I'm so pissed off and sad right now.
Honestly tell me what happens when she gets older and it actually doesn't work with DH then?
I don't think anyone is implying you two should definitely stay together. I think people are saying your child should be coming first, not your wants/needs/desires for when she is grown up.
I've been following this all day while traveling and just came back to it. And I think I heard an actual, audible ::record scratch:: sound when I read tfas. I mean, I'm glad you're not doing it, but how were you even planning for it a year ago? Given that you said you're only still married out of laziness? (Or am I misremembering that?)
I had another opportunity I was waiting for and the outcome would have been if I got it then we wouldn't have another baby for a couple of years. If I did not then we would start trying to have another child for next spring/summer. I didn't get it so that meant this year. Since I am now unsure what I am doing then baby is off the table.
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK DID I JUST READ. ARE YOU SERIOUS, OP?
Nothing, not a damn thing of what you said is normal, rational, or fair to your child. Nothing you said reflects that you are processing anything in a mature, adult-like manner.
Since it appears as though neither you nor your husband are interested in your child's welfare, please send her to me.
I don't know if this is coming off as mean or nasty, and frankly I don't care. I'm so pissed off and sad right now.
Honestly tell me what happens when she gets older and it actually doesn't work with DH then?
Fine, I'll play.
1. Who says it wouldn't work. You claim to be perfectly happy, DH is your best friend, blah, blah, blah. You vag just isn't getting all hot and juicy for him the way that it is when you talk to you misteress.
2. Have you gleaned nothing from the last 20 pages in which people gave you multiple other options besides the craptastic two you seem to be contemplating?
3. Maybe by then you will have matured enough to end your marriage in a way that won't royally screw up your child. My parents got divorced. It affected me, and we went to family counseling. And that was despite them ending the marriage amicably, sharing custody/co-parenting, staying in the same town as each other, and remaining friends.
4. The potential for divorce is not the reason why every single poster here is showing concern for your daughter. Not even close. Pretty much every other decision you're making and seemingly intend to make is the issue.
In the event no one ever explained this to you - leaving your daughter with your husband or grandmother while you pursue an affair is not healthy. It is not a wise parenting decision, and it does not model a wise or healthy relationship to your daughter. It is confusing. It suggests that she is not as important as your selfish, lust-motivated desires. Intentionally moving your daughter 16 hours away from a father who, by your accounts, is a great dad, for the purpose of being close to a guy you want to fuck is the epitomy or self-centered, selfish parenting. Plainly, it's fucked up.
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK DID I JUST READ. ARE YOU SERIOUS, OP?
Nothing, not a damn thing of what you said is normal, rational, or fair to your child. Nothing you said reflects that you are processing anything in a mature, adult-like manner.
Since it appears as though neither you nor your husband are interested in your child's welfare, please send her to me.
I don't know if this is coming off as mean or nasty, and frankly I don't care. I'm so pissed off and sad right now.
Honestly tell me what happens when she gets older and it actually doesn't work with DH then?
Why does it have to be one or the other? Why do you have to stay with your H? If its not working, get out.
I think @winomite nailed it 5,000 pages ago, you are scared of being alone. Which is okay, I bet lots of people are scared of being alone. But, I promise you being alone is better than any of the crazy scenarios you have presented in this thread.
Honestly tell me what happens when she gets older and it actually doesn't work with DH then?
Why does it have to be one or the other? Why do you have to stay with your H? If its not working, get out.
I think @winomite nailed it 5,000 pages ago, you are scared of being alone. Which is okay, I bet lots of people are scared of being alone. But, I promise you being alone is better than any of the crazy scenarios you have presented in this thread.
I can't (don't want to) stay here separately from my husband. If I'm here then we're together.
I just typed out a whole post then deleted it because it felt like beating my head against a wall. And I've only written two posts in here. I don't see how you guys did this all day. You are true American heroes.
Why does it have to be one or the other? Why do you have to stay with your H? If its not working, get out.
I think @winomite nailed it 5,000 pages ago, you are scared of being alone. Which is okay, I bet lots of people are scared of being alone. But, I promise you being alone is better than any of the crazy scenarios you have presented in this thread.
I can't (don't want to) stay here separately from my husband. If I'm here then we're together.
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