Don't delete your post. What you're getting here is feedback - maybe not what you asked for, but feedback just the same. It's also representative of society's views. Some people will love the name, some won't. Your choice. A lot of people here are encouraging a revisit of Emerson for a girl, because we feel strongly about its masculinity.
Frankly, though, if you delete, you may get the prize of "first DD on the new board", and over something extremely tame.
Don't delete your post. What you're getting here is feedback - maybe not what you asked for, but feedback just the same. It's also representative of society's views. Some people will love the name, some won't. Your choice. A lot of people here are encouraging a revisit of Emerson for a girl, because we feel strongly about its masculinity.
Frankly, though, if you delete, you may get the prize of "first DD on the new board", and over something extremely tame.
i dont plan on it. and yes - feedback on something i wasnt expecting. oh well. thats life. i think its safe to say we can all move on now
Post by billyhorrible on Jan 22, 2015 16:16:53 GMT -5
Two different things:
1 - Story time! My parents met in August, 1974. My father's mother was dying of cancer. In March, 1975 he proposed to my mother. His proposal was something along the lines of "I know we're going to be together forever, so we should get married now, so my mom can be part of it." Later that month they were married at her bedside before the official ceremony at the synagogue. She died not too long after. After the wedding, my mom moved in with my father, dying grandmother, and aunt. She describes it as one of the worst periods of her life. My grandmother made her miserable. They did not get along at all. All that being said, my middle name is after my grandmother. I am so glad my parents decided to give me that name, that my mother was able to see past her own feelings about my grandmother during the brief time she knew her and recognize what an amazing woman she was. Because before she had cancer, she was a widow raising two children - she fought for women's rights, she fought the Boy Scouts of America when they told her my dad couldn't join because only fathers could take kids to meetings, she worked full time as a nurse, and went to school to get a graduate degree, and raised her kids. My parents were young when they were married (19 and 20) and waited a long time to have me, so it was probably easier than where you are right now with it all being so fresh, but make sure you're putting things in perspective.
2) Speaking of putting things in perspective. If you're going to call your daughter Emmy anyway, why not just name her that? No one is saying you're stupid or foolish because you don't agree. They're saying you're stupid and foolish because you're pretending facts are not facts. I could argue until I'm blue in the face that clouds are made of cotton balls. It doesn't make them cotton balls. Emerson is a boy's name.
You joke about your daughter needing therapy, but it isn't so much a joke. By giving your daughter a boy's name you're telling her that females are inherently not as good as males. That she can't possibly be a worthwhile individual with a girl's name. That perhaps, some part of you wished she wasn't a girl. And heaven forbid your daughter ends up an awkward teenager like 90% of the population. Do you really think you're doing her any favors when she's overweight, beriddled with acne, braces, and a bad haircut and everyone starts spreading rumors about her having a penis at school because ("pssss - Emmy's name is Emerson, she's obviously a boy!").
1 - Story time! My parents met in August, 1974. My father's mother was dying of cancer. In March, 1975 he proposed to my mother. His proposal was something along the lines of "I know we're going to be together forever, so we should get married now, so my mom can be part of it." Later that month they were married at her bedside before the official ceremony at the synagogue. She died not too long after. After the wedding, my mom moved in with my father, dying grandmother, and aunt. She describes it as one of the worst periods of her life. My grandmother made her miserable. They did not get along at all. All that being said, my middle name is after my grandmother. I am so glad my parents decided to give me that name, that my mother was able to see past her own feelings about my grandmother during the brief time she knew her and recognize what an amazing woman she was. Because before she had cancer, she was a widow raising two children - she fought for women's rights, she fought the Boy Scouts of America when they told her my dad couldn't join because only fathers could take kids to meetings, she worked full time as a nurse, and went to school to get a graduate degree, and raised her kids. My parents were young when they were married (19 and 20) and waited a long time to have me, so it was probably easier than where you are right now with it all being so fresh, but make sure you're putting things in perspective.
2) Speaking of putting things in perspective. If you're going to call your daughter Emmy anyway, why not just name her that? No one is saying you're stupid or foolish because you don't agree. They're saying you're stupid and foolish because you're pretending facts are not facts. I could argue until I'm blue in the face that clouds are made of cotton balls. It doesn't make them cotton balls. Emerson is a boy's name.
You joke about your daughter needing therapy, but it isn't so much a joke. By giving your daughter a boy's name you're telling her that females are inherently not as good as males. That she can't possibly be a worthwhile individual with a girl's name. That perhaps, some part of you wished she wasn't a girl. And heaven forbid your daughter ends up an awkward teenager like 90% of the population. Do you really think you're doing her any favors when she's overweight, beriddled with acne, braces, and a bad haircut and everyone starts spreading rumors about her having a penis at school because ("pssss - Emmy's name is Emerson, she's obviously a boy!").
wow.
first off, i actually really appreciate your story about your parents and your middle name. that actually helps a lot more than you know. youre right, i did not know her well and maybe as time goes on there will be more that I hear about her that will help me get to know her.
we have actually considered Emmy but both have always loved Emerson. so many names now go both ways - yea yea you can argue that just because you CAN do it, you shouldnt. But like i stated before, i live in an area where names that were once reserved just for boys are now being used for girls as well so Im not too concerned about her being in school and people thinking shes a boy because of her name. She will definitely be made fun of in school and if her rumor is that she has a penis, so be it. I also think its a bit of a stretch to say that im subconsciously telling her that because her name is a boys name, girls arent as good as boys. My name is Melanie but I have always been called Mel. Mel is a boys name. I never once had any identity issues because of it.
This all may be useless since I may be having a boy...
1 - Story time! My parents met in August, 1974. My father's mother was dying of cancer. In March, 1975 he proposed to my mother. His proposal was something along the lines of "I know we're going to be together forever, so we should get married now, so my mom can be part of it." Later that month they were married at her bedside before the official ceremony at the synagogue. She died not too long after. After the wedding, my mom moved in with my father, dying grandmother, and aunt. She describes it as one of the worst periods of her life. My grandmother made her miserable. They did not get along at all. All that being said, my middle name is after my grandmother. I am so glad my parents decided to give me that name, that my mother was able to see past her own feelings about my grandmother during the brief time she knew her and recognize what an amazing woman she was. Because before she had cancer, she was a widow raising two children - she fought for women's rights, she fought the Boy Scouts of America when they told her my dad couldn't join because only fathers could take kids to meetings, she worked full time as a nurse, and went to school to get a graduate degree, and raised her kids. My parents were young when they were married (19 and 20) and waited a long time to have me, so it was probably easier than where you are right now with it all being so fresh, but make sure you're putting things in perspective.
2) Speaking of putting things in perspective. If you're going to call your daughter Emmy anyway, why not just name her that? No one is saying you're stupid or foolish because you don't agree. They're saying you're stupid and foolish because you're pretending facts are not facts. I could argue until I'm blue in the face that clouds are made of cotton balls. It doesn't make them cotton balls. Emerson is a boy's name.
You joke about your daughter needing therapy, but it isn't so much a joke. By giving your daughter a boy's name you're telling her that females are inherently not as good as males. That she can't possibly be a worthwhile individual with a girl's name. That perhaps, some part of you wished she wasn't a girl. And heaven forbid your daughter ends up an awkward teenager like 90% of the population. Do you really think you're doing her any favors when she's overweight, beriddled with acne, braces, and a bad haircut and everyone starts spreading rumors about her having a penis at school because ("pssss - Emmy's name is Emerson, she's obviously a boy!").
I can't love this enough. I feel like I've been love titting your stuff like crazy.
I think billyhorrible has a good point #1 especially. DD and LO #3 will have MNs honoring both our paternal grandmothers, whom DH and I both loved and admired though we know they had difficult relationships with our moms. I know it's different because we're a generation removed from the drama and we knew our grandmothers and made the decision based on our more positive relationships with them to name our children after them, but it's something to consider. If you don't know how your DH feels, ask him and go from there.
As for Emerson - I can't help but say something - I am basically agreed with PPs. I guess what I think is, you think it's important if you and your DH like it, but she should also like it. And obviously you can't guarantee that. But a lot of women don't like having masculine names - this comes up a lot on threads about how people feel about their own names. I don't think I would like Emerson if it were my name; all my feelings about boy names on girls boil down to the fact that I am really glad my parents didn't give me one. So maybe she would dislike her name even if you gave her a name every single one of us loved, but the chances are higher she'll dislike it if it's the kind of name a lot of women don't like. I mean, if it were me, I would be using Eileen, which is after your mom and a thousand times better (I've been pitching it to DH because it's his grandmother's name, but he's not enthusiastic). It's just so much more appealing to me, and your DD would probably find it more meaningful. But if you are dead set on Emerson, which apparently you are, and if it's not just a name you would put on another person, but a name you would truly love to have yourself, then whatevs, I guess we can't change your mind. But it wouldn't be the BNB (by a different name) if we didn't try.
Post by dreadpiratebuttercup on Jan 22, 2015 21:32:52 GMT -5
Dude, you posted on an internet forum. We're going to to post our opinions, and that includes our knowledge on the fn. Emerson IS a boy name. It's a fact, dear. This is just a taste of what people IRL well be saying behind your back. You obviously aren't taking the criticism well, which means you absolutely should rethink the name.
Also, giving her a cutesy nn does not a girl name make.
Well good thing it doesn't matter much to me. I value honesty so thanks for that. I'm not hurt or offended or upset. Just a matter of different tastes. We can all agree to disagree and move on with our lives.
Dude, you posted on an internet forum. We're going to to post our opinions, and that includes our knowledge on the fn. Emerson IS a boy name. It's a fact, dear. This is just a taste of what people IRL well be saying behind your back. You obviously aren't taking the criticism well, which means you absolutely should rethink the name.
Also, giving her a cutesy nn does not a girl name make.
I'm not sure how you think I'm not taking criticism well. Criticize all you want. It doesn't offend me or bother me. Just because I dont change my mind based on the criticism doesn't mean I'm not taking it well. Honestly, it doesn't bother me. We are all entitled to our own opinions. Im not going to change yours and I'm not trying to. Ove been saying since the beginning that it doesn't bother me. I think it's time to just let this thread die.
Post by strawberrytree on Jan 22, 2015 22:35:27 GMT -5
Emerson is not my cup of tea, but I don't think it's the most egregious offender in the boy-names-on-girls trend going on.
As far as the middle name goes...I, personally, would not be able to name my child after a person I did not love, admire, and hope my child grew up to emulate. I would cringe every time I saw the name on official documents. I know not everybody would have that reaction, but it's how I would feel. In your situation I'd probably look at using a neutral middle name with no familial ties.
I don't know if you already said this, but is your mom living? I ask because I would prioritize naming a child after a deceased relative over a living relative. I'm Jewish though, so YMMV.
For what it's worth, I think children should be named after people who you want to honor and have the child emulate, but also as a way of honoring the people who were close to that ancestor. Like, I named my daughter after my grandmother who I barely knew as a way of honoring my father who was very close with his mom. I named my other daughter after DH's great grandmother who he knew but only after she had sunk into senility as a way of honoring his (still living) grandmother, her daughter, with whom he is close. Maybe think about naming a girl after your MIL as a way of honoring your husband and his family instead of her specifically?
In the end, middle name only get used on birth announcements, when you're in trouble as a kid, and then on your wedding invitations. They're the free space on the bingo card of naming; do whatever makes you happy.
Well good thing it doesn't matter much to me. I value honesty so thanks for that. I'm not hurt or offended or upset. Just a matter of different tastes. We can all agree to disagree and move on with our lives.
But it isn't a matter of taste, it's a matter of facts. Which means I get to bring out my favorite gif...
Well good thing it doesn't matter much to me. I value honesty so thanks for that. I'm not hurt or offended or upset. Just a matter of different tastes. We can all agree to disagree and move on with our lives.
But it isn't a matter of taste, it's a matter of facts. Which means I get to bring out my favorite gif...
You gotta just get over it. do love a good gif though. If only I knew how to post them myself. You don't seem to do well when people don't agree with your opinion. Because that's all this is. OPINION. There are some weird ass names out there and more power to all the female boy names or boyish girl names. There's no need to continue this nonsense. So I'm out! I respect all of your opinions. I've listened, just don't agree. And that's life. I didn't want to disappear and ignore people because I didn't want to be rude but I also think it's silly to go in circles with Internet strangers. But I think it's time for me to end it. I'm not deleting anything but I'm going to let it die.
And thank you to all that actually gave me opinions on what I came here for. I think from listening to all of your guys rationales it would be better to just avoid a familial name all together. Thank you!
But it isn't a matter of taste, it's a matter of facts. Which means I get to bring out my favorite gif...
You gotta just get over it. do love a good gif though. If only I knew how to post them myself. You don't seem to do well when people don't agree with your opinion. Because that's all this is. OPINION. There are some weird ass names out there and more power to all the female boy names or boyish girl names. There's no need to continue this nonsense. So I'm out! I respect all of your opinions. I've listened, just don't agree. And that's life. I didn't want to disappear and ignore people because I didn't want to be rude but I also think it's silly to go in circles with Internet strangers. But I think it's time for me to end it. I'm not deleting anything but I'm going to let it die.
And thank you to all that actually gave me opinions on what I came here for. I think from listening to all of your guys rationales it would be better to just avoid a familial name all together. Thank you!
Well Emerson is not good to start with. It's a nice boy name, bad girl name.
As for the middle name debate, I guess it's just up to you. If you want to do a nice gesture and honor her then great but I also don't think it would be a big deal to not use your mil's name.
Why would you delete a thread just because people are telling you that they think you really need to rethink the fn? If you can't handle the negative feedback (which has been pretty damn tame) then you REALLY shouldn't use the name. You're naming a human being, it's serious business, and there are a million beautiful girl names that are strong and elegant and wonderful. Is a mediocre surname that only belongs on a boy really the best you and your husband can come up with?
I said I do not WANT to delete it. I don't want to disappear and be rude to everyone responding but you keep insisting that this is a horrible name and I just don't care. You keep pressing this issue. It is serious business naming a child but I highly doubt I'm going to do all my harm with her name - especially when we plan on calling her Emmy. Not that I need to try to appease you since I don't even know who you are but you keep saying its masculine and I shouldn't use it. Would it make you feel better if I spelled it Emersyn? Since you are all so hung up on the "son" and where it originated? It really doesn't matter to me. There have been a few very special female Emersons in my life and although she is not necessary names after any of them - it brings back very fond and sweet memories of these precious girls that I cared for. Everyone is different. I think where we live also makes a big impact. I live in a place where there are a lot of female Rileys and Parkers and other names that were once just reserved for boys. It truly doesn't bother me that you are so against it. Because like I said - I know I won't please everyone. But you just continue pushing your opinion and you're wasting your time.
Believe me. Got it. You think I'm setting her up for a world of hurt with this name. How could I do that to my daughter?!? I'll start her therapy fund then.
Riley and Parker for a girl are pretty bad too. And if you plan on calling her Emmy, why not just name her Emma or Emily since they are actual girl names?
I have a friend who named her daughter who is now three Emersyn. When she first told me I thought to myself it is more of a boy's name, but it is not my child. I since have another acquaintance that named her daughter the same thing. I like the name for a girl now, but spelled with the Y. Ryleigh spelled this way is popular around here as well. Then I have neighbor who just moved in that named their little girl who is three Parker.
If your husband did not suggest the name I would honestly not bring it up. IF you did want to mention it Emerysn Christine(a form of the name) sounds better to me. I would not want to name my kid after someone that I did not like though.
I have a friend who named her daughter who is now three Emersyn. When she first told me I thought to myself it is more of a boy's name, but it is not my child. I since have another acquaintance that named her daughter the same thing. I like the name for a girl now, but spelled with the Y. Ryleigh spelled this way is popular around here as well. Then I have neighbor who just moved in that named their little girl who is three Parker.
If your husband did not suggest the name I would honestly not bring it up. IF you did want to mention it Emerysn Christine(a form of the name) sounds better to me. I would not want to name my kid after someone that I did not like though.
I have a friend who named her daughter who is now three Emersyn. When she first told me I thought to myself it is more of a boy's name, but it is not my child. I since have another acquaintance that named her daughter the same thing. I like the name for a girl now, but spelled with the Y. Ryleigh spelled this way is popular around here as well. Then I have neighbor who just moved in that named their little girl who is three Parker.
If your husband did not suggest the name I would honestly not bring it up. IF you did want to mention it Emerysn Christine(a form of the name) sounds better to me. I would not want to name my kid after someone that I did not like though.
Just to all of this.
Sorry:( I guess when you know someone with the name it just grows on you. I agree Parker is more a boys name and I would not even imagine naming a girl Parker or Ryleigh. I do not like unisex names for me personally.
Post by dreadpiratebuttercup on Jan 24, 2015 22:58:22 GMT -5
I'm definitely glad you wouldn't consider it, but those names are all masculine. Not a single one of them is unisex, using a youneek spelling does not make them so.
I'm definitely glad you wouldn't consider it, but those names are all masculine. Not a single one of them is unisex, using a youneek spelling does not make them so.
I do agree with you. I named my 4th son Carson and I am hearing girls named Karsyn now.
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