Newborns are Rainbow Farting Miracles!

[aelias]

Has anyone else seen this article going around? 

www.borntobeabride.com/they-shouldve-warned-me/

Basically, this chick is complaining because of the "fear-mongering" she got about how hard it would be to have a newborn.  And really, it's all so magical and fulfilling that she could just die of joys!!!

Excerpt:
"They should’ve warned me that after all those hours of labor (half of which with an epidural, which made things totally bearable), the first time I saw her face my heart would burst out of my chest and shatter onto the floor."

"They should’ve warned me that becoming a mommy would absolutely change every single thing, but that I would never want to go back and visit the 'old' me, not even for a second. They should’ve warned me that my life was about to become so rich and beautiful and fulfilling, that I’d look back on what it was before and think, 'Poor me. I didn’t know her yet.'"

Warning: reading sugary articles may cause diabetes and stabbiness.

[quietdownfish]

I get the article. I had all the warm and fuzzies after having E. I was on cloud 9 for a few days after. But yes, it's not all rainbows and butterflies. PPD, PPA, baby blues, loneliness, isolation. It's all very real and scary. A few weeks after having him I was depressed, cried for no reason (for like hours), and just felt like a terrible mother. I wish there were more articles discussing PPD and how real and awful it can be.

[bibliothecary]

[lemon200]

As someone who was not expecting to have a child for at least a couple more years, I liked the article. I am inundated with people telling me that my life is over and that I will be a sleepy, crabby bitch who has no relationship with my partner anymore. It was easy for me especially in the beginning when I was really sick to ask myself what am I doing!? I like to be reminded of the joy that will come and the crazy amounts of love I will feel in 6 months when this little one comes into the world.



I am very excited now to have this little one and I know many women try forever to have one and can't and I'm grateful that I can - it was just a very scary, surprising, life altering thing to happen.

[lawndog1216]

I'm with quietdownfish, too -- I get the article, but dude - there's a lot of crying. A lot of boobs hanging out and milk dripping EVERY where. A lot of no sleeping because even when you CAN sleep you don't sleep because SHIT IS SHE BREATHING? And the me before I had her? Not "Poor me - I didn't know her yet." That's fucking stab-worthy.

[tmclawchick]

Can I play???

They should have warned me to stock up on pedialite and saltines for when he projectile vomits at 2 AM.



(clearly I'm bitter over the middle-of-the-night antics at casa de tmclawchick)

[quietdownfish]

Jan 22, 2015 14:07:28 GMT -5 lemon200 said:

As someone who was not expecting to have a child for at least a couple more years, I liked the article. I am inundated with people telling me that my life is over and that I will be a sleepy, crabby bitch who has no relationship with my partner anymore. It was easy for me especially in the beginning when I was really sick to ask myself what am I doing!? I like to be reminded of the joy that will come and the crazy amounts of love I will feel in 6 months when this little one comes into the world.



I am very excited now to have this little one and I know many women try forever to have one and can't and I'm grateful that I can - it was just a very scary, surprising, life altering thing to happen.

I get that lemon, but just don't be surprised when these other emotions come along.  I was not prepared and should have handled it better.  It's unfair that you get inundated with horror stories, but your life really does change forever.  It's all for the best and having children is the bomb, but with it comes a lot of life altering things. 

I do have many friends that are pregnant with their first that really loved this article and shared it.  I love the idea of it, but hate how it kind of hides the truth about being a new mother.

[tigger815]

They should have warned me about reflux. First time my daughter got sick it looked like something from the exorcist.

[Deleted]

i cried all the time. I cried because I cried.

[aelias]

Jan 22, 2015 14:03:27 GMT -5 quietdownfish said:

I get the article. I had all the warm and fuzzies after having E. I was on cloud 9 for a few days after. But yes, it's not all rainbows and butterflies. PPD, PPA, baby blues, loneliness, isolation. It's all very real and scary. A few weeks after having him I was depressed, cried for no reason (for like hours), and just felt like a terrible mother. I wish there were more articles discussing PPD and how real and awful it can be.

Yeah, I mean the love is real.  And BTDT crowd can be pretty negative.  But, as you point out, PPD is no joke.  It's common, and it needs more attention.  My big struggle was breastfeeding.  Again, I did not need anymore articles on how fulfilling and wonderful and important it was.  I needed more support, and didn't realize that until it was too late.

This article sort of reminds me of where I was a few weeks after birth, eating a sandwich and thinking "I can still eat a sandwich!  Things haven't changed that much.  I got this."  But that was denial.  Things are very different, and sometimes very hard.  Anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to promote a mommy blog.

[shannonabigail]

I found this post via Pinterest months ago. adrielbooker.com/pregnancy-birth-first-time-mom/

I feel like the blow-out photo adequately prepares me for motherhood.

[quietdownfish]

Jan 22, 2015 14:13:18 GMT -5 aelias said:

Jan 22, 2015 14:03:27 GMT -5 quietdownfish said:

I get the article. I had all the warm and fuzzies after having E. I was on cloud 9 for a few days after. But yes, it's not all rainbows and butterflies. PPD, PPA, baby blues, loneliness, isolation. It's all very real and scary. A few weeks after having him I was depressed, cried for no reason (for like hours), and just felt like a terrible mother. I wish there were more articles discussing PPD and how real and awful it can be.

Yeah, I mean the love is real.  And BTDT crowd can be pretty negative.  But, as you point out, PPD is no joke.  It's common, and it needs more attention.  My big struggle was breastfeeding.  Again, I did not need anymore articles on how fulfilling and wonderful and important it was.  I needed more support, and didn't realize that until it was too late.

This article sort of reminds me of where I was a few weeks after birth, eating a sandwich and thinking "I can still eat a sandwich!  Things haven't changed that much.  I got this."  But that was denial.  Things are very different, and sometimes very hard.  Anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to promote a mommy blog.

YES.  Breastfeeding came pretty easily to us, but I know many people that struggled with it.  I went to the LC 5-6 times just to make sure we were still doing ok/gaining/etc.  I just couldn't possibly believe he was getting what he needed.

Things that new moms should know: FORMULA IS OK.  Breastfeeding is not the end all be all.  As long as you are feeding your baby, you are a great mother.  Don't like mommy judgers get to you!

[telos]

TBH, she lost me at "born to be a bride."

[aelias]

Jan 22, 2015 14:07:28 GMT -5 lemon200 said:

As someone who was not expecting to have a child for at least a couple more years, I liked the article. I am inundated with people telling me that my life is over and that I will be a sleepy, crabby bitch who has no relationship with my partner anymore. It was easy for me especially in the beginning when I was really sick to ask myself what am I doing!? I like to be reminded of the joy that will come and the crazy amounts of love I will feel in 6 months when this little one comes into the world.



I am very excited now to have this little one and I know many women try forever to have one and can't and I'm grateful that I can - it was just a very scary, surprising, life altering thing to happen.

I'm glad you're excited about your pregnancy, and you absolutely should be.  Having my son has been an incredible journey, and I love him even more now than I did on the day he was born.  And if you have a relatively easy time with your baby, and feel overwhelmed with how great life is, I am genuinely happy for you.  But, be gentle with yourself if it doesn't always feel that way.  And never, ever be too scared or too proud to ask for help and support.

[bcmomsaysso]

Jan 22, 2015 14:13:44 GMT -5 shannonabigail said:

I found this post via Pinterest months ago. adrielbooker.com/pregnancy-birth-first-time-mom/

I feel like the blow-out photo adequately prepares me for motherhood.

#2 is all of us haha

[lemon200]

quietdownfish

Oh ya, I know that everything is about to change and it's going to be hard. I don't have any disillusions to that. I just like to be reminded of the good things as well as being warned about the rough patches. I think there can be a bit of a trend to tell young moms (I'll be 24) that we are ruining our lives. It's nice to hear nice things.

Edit: Not to be too woe's me. I do have a great support system as well... 

[vtcnicely]

Ughhhh I forgot about the first few months when you let down all the time and have to sleep on top of a towel because of night time boob leak...and waking up with rock hard swollen watermelons for boobs. It all gets better trust me, but those first 6 months are no rainbow farts in this household.

[quietdownfish]

Jan 22, 2015 14:22:21 GMT -5 lemon200 said:

quietdownfish

Oh ya, I know that everything is about to change and it's going to be hard. I don't have any disillusions to that. I just like to be reminded of the good things as well as being warned about the rough patches. I think there can be a bit of a trend to tell young moms (I'll be 24) that we are ruining our lives. It's nice to hear nice things.

Ugh, you are not ruining your life!  Those people need to step off!  It's an adjustment, but it is one that I would NEVER change! 

[Deleted]

Jan 22, 2015 14:17:16 GMT -5 quietdownfish said:

Jan 22, 2015 14:13:18 GMT -5 aelias said:

Things that new moms should know: FORMULA IS OK.  Breastfeeding is not the end all be all.  As long as you are feeding your baby, you are a great mother.  Don't like mommy judgers get to you!

Thank you for saying this. I tried so hard for 2 weeks to exclusively breast feed and was unable too. Yes, I basically starved my child unintentionally. I had to switch to formula and it broke my heart because I thought I failed. This was also around the time I was crying all the time. It took me a couple of days to realize, 1. it's ok to not breast feed. 2. it wasn't my fault. and 3. I had the baby blues and needed to either figure out how to get out of that funk or to go get help. Breast feeding is really really hard. I will try again but I will also have formula on hand just in case.

[telos]

And +1 on the breastfeeding issues. Nobody warned me and it was a nightmare, followed by a scramble for all of the research and BF'ing support I could possibly find.

For me, it was all about the latch. Poor latch led to bleeding, fissured nipples, which led to frustration, extreme pain, guilt, and repeat mastitis. The antibiotics that I took for mastitis led to thrush (in both me and little DS), and the bleeding fissures didn't heal for four weeks. I exclusively BF'ed on the less damaged side and pumped exclusively on the other, leading to an oversupply, frequent engorgement, and an overactive let down.

I turned to the Bump's BF'ing board at the time, and those women saved me and supported me every step of the way. But I wish I had known, because the dominoes started toppling on day one. As much as I loved and cherished DS, I cried constantly, and felt isolated and inept.

[thewop]

Jan 22, 2015 14:17:16 GMT -5 quietdownfish said:

Jan 22, 2015 14:13:18 GMT -5 aelias said:

Yeah, I mean the love is real.  And BTDT crowd can be pretty negative.  But, as you point out, PPD is no joke.  It's common, and it needs more attention.  My big struggle was breastfeeding.  Again, I did not need anymore articles on how fulfilling and wonderful and important it was.  I needed more support, and didn't realize that until it was too late.

This article sort of reminds me of where I was a few weeks after birth, eating a sandwich and thinking "I can still eat a sandwich!  Things haven't changed that much.  I got this."  But that was denial.  Things are very different, and sometimes very hard.  Anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to promote a mommy blog.

YES.  Breastfeeding came pretty easily to us, but I know many people that struggled with it.  I went to the LC 5-6 times just to make sure we were still doing ok/gaining/etc.  I just couldn't possibly believe he was getting what he needed.

Things that new moms should know: FORMULA IS OK.  Breastfeeding is not the end all be all.  As long as you are feeding your baby, you are a great mother.  Don't like mommy judgers get to you!

OMG I love you. I tried HARD CORE to breastfeed. DD just would NOT latch.  I had so many people who were all "Just keep at it, see this specialist, join a group, DON'T GIVE UP IT'S SO WORTH IT." But DD wanted nothing to do with me. I cried about it. A lot. Then the H and I decided to pump and bottle exclusively after about a month of torture.   Our house was instant peace. Everyone was happy. And 3 months later my body dried up and we went to formula. I just wish I would not have been so hard on myself about it in the beginning and not listened to the mommy judgers.

[abvintage]

I fully expect to think my kid is the most annoying little shit on the planet. But they'll be mine and I love that.

[cubberss]

Ya... I didn't feel any of that. I felt no bond or love when DD was born. Nursing SUCKED for the first six-eight weeks, and I totally got pissed at the crying and waking up at night. Doesn't mean I'm not an awesome mom who loves my kids. Just means I'm not trying to make money with a sappy blog.

[flippinchica]

Jan 22, 2015 14:20:51 GMT -5 bcmomsaysso said:

Jan 22, 2015 14:13:44 GMT -5 shannonabigail said:

I found this post via Pinterest months ago. adrielbooker.com/pregnancy-birth-first-time-mom/

I feel like the blow-out photo adequately prepares me for motherhood.

#2 is all of us haha

2. Forget #1 and do everything possible to not be in your third trimester in the middle of summer. Because seriously, nine months pregnant in the height of summer sucks.

Yep, we failed at that one!

[divinemsbee]

The mere title of her blog made my eyes roll so hard it should count as cardio.

[tigger815]

Jan 22, 2015 14:17:16 GMT -5 quietdownfish said:

Jan 22, 2015 14:13:18 GMT -5 aelias said:

Yeah, I mean the love is real.  And BTDT crowd can be pretty negative.  But, as you point out, PPD is no joke.  It's common, and it needs more attention.  My big struggle was breastfeeding.  Again, I did not need anymore articles on how fulfilling and wonderful and important it was.  I needed more support, and didn't realize that until it was too late.

This article sort of reminds me of where I was a few weeks after birth, eating a sandwich and thinking "I can still eat a sandwich!  Things haven't changed that much.  I got this."  But that was denial.  Things are very different, and sometimes very hard.  Anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to promote a mommy blog.

YES.  Breastfeeding came pretty easily to us, but I know many people that struggled with it.  I went to the LC 5-6 times just to make sure we were still doing ok/gaining/etc.  I just couldn't possibly believe he was getting what he needed.

Things that new moms should know: FORMULA IS OK.  Breastfeeding is not the end all be all.  As long as you are feeding your baby, you are a great mother.  Don't like mommy judgers get to you!

And as hard as you try or want to BF sometimes it just doesn't work. My daughter was in heart failure and would not, could not latch or keep the energy if she even tried. I was able to pump for awhile but gave into "screw this, my kid needs to eat"!

[laurelita42]

I hate that article, couldn't even read the whole thing. Just the 'born to be a bride' URL gets my back up. And you know this lady giving herself a virtual pat on the back, pretending she knows everything, doesn't know anything yet. The people I know that actually seem to have it together often admit that they sometimes have no idea what they're doing. This article reeks of smugness and denial.

Sooo, yeah, blahs for that article. I *do* like this one, it's a lot less rainbows and a lot more relatable. katiewetherbee.com/2012/02/06/joy-or-just-wait/

[vtcnicely]

Jan 22, 2015 14:24:04 GMT -5 quietdownfish said:

Jan 22, 2015 14:22:21 GMT -5 lemon200 said:

quietdownfish

Oh ya, I know that everything is about to change and it's going to be hard. I don't have any disillusions to that. I just like to be reminded of the good things as well as being warned about the rough patches. I think there can be a bit of a trend to tell young moms (I'll be 24) that we are ruining our lives. It's nice to hear nice things.

Ugh, you are not ruining your life!  Those people need to step off!  It's an adjustment, but it is one that I would NEVER change! 

Second!  It is the biggest change you will ever make, sometimes you won't even recognize who you have become...but it's for the better.  I thought I knew happiness until I heard my son's crazy laugh.  I thought that I knew what love felt like until my 2 year old threw his arms around me and while tightly hugging me said "I love you mama".  I thought I loved my husband until I saw what an incredible father he really is.  Your life becomes more rich and full than you can ever imagine and all the sudden those weekend nights of staying out late and sleeping in don't seem to matter as much as they once did.

[quietdownfish]

Jan 22, 2015 14:27:59 GMT -5 telos said:

And +1 on the breastfeeding issues. Nobody warned me and it was a nightmare, followed by a scramble for all of the research and BF'ing support I could possibly find.

For me, it was all about the latch. Poor latch led to bleeding, fissured nipples, which led to frustration, extreme pain, guilt, and repeat mastitis. The antibiotics that I took for mastitis led to thrush (in both me and little DS), and the bleeding fissures didn't heal for four weeks. I exclusively BF'ed on the less damaged side and pumped exclusively on the other, leading to an oversupply, frequent engorgement, and an overactive let down.

I turned to the Bump's BF'ing board at the time, and those women saved me and supported me every step of the way. But I wish I had known, because the dominoes started toppling on day one. As much as I loved and cherished DS, I cried constantly, and felt isolated and inept.

I wanted to love tit, but I just cannot because of all the pain you went through.  I am so so sorry.  I am glad you found the support you needed.  Breastfeeding CAN be a beautiful thing.  It can also be isolating, PAINFUL, and absolutely exhausting.

[joi922]

Jan 22, 2015 14:30:05 GMT -5 cubberss said:

Ya... I didn't feel any of that. I felt no bond or love when DD was born. Nursing SUCKED for the first six-eight weeks, and I totally got pissed at the crying and waking up at night. Doesn't mean I'm not an awesome mom who loves my kids. Just means I'm not trying to make money with a sappy blog.

I was similar. It took me a couple weeks to really start bonding with DS. Don't get me wrong, I wanted to take care of him, he was mine, but it took me a while to feel the love for him I have now. Also, I hated breastfeeding with the fiery passion of a thousand suns, and started to resent him being hungry. I also had a crap supply and he had a hard time latching. I switched to pumping and formula by the second week.

So while I do agree having a kid changes your life (for the better, in my opinion), not everyone experiences the instant love she's talking about. Along with PPD, PPA, and the fact that breastfeeding can be hard/formula is not the devil, I wish more people would talk about the idea that not every mom falls instantly in love with her child. That it's normal for any of those things to happen, and that we shouldn't be ashamed to ask for help or talk about them.