You might have a newborn if...

[Widget123]

Since the board has been on the slow side, mamas with outside babies wanna play?  This is supposed to be a play on "you might be a redneck".

Personal example:  

You might have a newborn if you hear the mailman driving down the street and you suddenly can't remember the last time you checked the mail.  You walk to the street, open the box, and yes, it's practically overflowing.

[silv3rlining]

You might have a newborn if 2 solid hours of uninterrupted sleep sounds like a lot

[tiffbot]

If you go to the bathroom after your husband gets home from work and you suddenly realize you haven't done that since you woke up.

If it gets to be the afternoon and you realize your older child hasn't had a diaper change yet (oops, only did that one once though!)

If your husband points out your boob hanging out of your shirt in an attempt to be helpful and not in a sexual way.

If you look all around your house for the k'tan and find it around your waist from the last time you took her out of it.

[tiffbot]

Jun 22, 2015 21:14:01 GMT -5 @badwolf321 said:

You might have a newborn if the definition of a clean shirt means it doesn't smell like urp and doesn't have pee or poo all over it.

Ah yes, for me its breast milk haha.

[wegrowsheep]

You can't go 5 minutes without thinking about your nipples.

[veggiemo]

You might have a newborn if you used your toddler's pajama pants to wipe up pee that sprayed all over the wall. Hey, they were the first thing within reach.

[jcprn]

You might have a newborn if anyone (dog, husband, etc) makes the slightest noise after you FINALLY get baby down to sleep and you give them the evilest of all evil eyes as well as some not so nice mimed gestures...

[gilder40]

You might have a newborn if....

...you totally have no idea what day of the week it is.

...it hits 5:00 and you realize you haven't eaten anything all day. (Bad for bf-ing mamas!!)

...you've figured out how and where you can comfortably "nap" while holding a sleeping baby.

[gilder40]

Oh, and just a random thing. I took some laundry out of the dryer and switched over the load in the washer...and I noticed white chunky stuff everywhere. I couldn't figure out what the heck it was. Until I started folding the clean clothes and found a diaper. I somehow managed to wash a disposable diaper with the laundry. Whether it was a clean or dirty one, I'll never know....

[tiffbot]

Jun 22, 2015 21:47:48 GMT -5 veggiemo said:

You might have a newborn if you used your toddler's pajama pants to wipe up pee that sprayed all over the wall. Hey, they were the first thing within reach.

This reminds me, I'm the mom of a newborn girl after having a boy because the first time she peed during a diaper change and it just rolled down into her dirty diaper rather than sprayed up and into her face/wall/me I had to text my mom to say how excited I was about this new experience lol!

[carolyngrace]

If you live your life in 2-3 hour increments.

If you're constantly weighing the benefits of sleep vs. using awake time to take care of yourself or you're household.

[disney815]

You constantly touch your boobs, talk about your boobs, think about your boobs, and look at your boobs.

[Deleted]

You might have a newborn if you have a disposable breast pad stuck to your ass and had no idea until someone told you. Hey you have something stuck to your pants

[turtletyme]

You might have a newborn if the majority of words you say in a day are made up ones that end in the "ie" sound (diapie! pacie! burpie! jammies! Who am I?)

[silv3rlining]

Jun 22, 2015 23:45:36 GMT -5 gilder40 said:

Oh, and just a random thing. I took some laundry out of the dryer and switched over the load in the washer...and I noticed white chunky stuff everywhere. I couldn't figure out what the heck it was. Until I started folding the clean clothes and found a diaper. I somehow managed to wash a disposable diaper with the laundry. Whether it was a clean or dirty one, I'll never know....

I did this once while doing a load of cloth diapers. Only thing I can figure is the babysitter put a disposable diaper in the wet bag

[Deleted]

Jun 23, 2015 5:33:37 GMT -5 silv3rlining said:

Jun 22, 2015 23:45:36 GMT -5 gilder40 said:

Oh, and just a random thing. I took some laundry out of the dryer and switched over the load in the washer...and I noticed white chunky stuff everywhere. I couldn't figure out what the heck it was. Until I started folding the clean clothes and found a diaper. I somehow managed to wash a disposable diaper with the laundry. Whether it was a clean or dirty one, I'll never know....

I did this once while doing a load of cloth diapers. Only thing I can figure is the babysitter put a disposable diaper in the wet bag

I just did this and it creates such a mess!! The laundry ended up looking like fake snow bits were attached to everything and I had to rewash it all

[Deleted]

Jun 22, 2015 20:28:54 GMT -5 budders said:

You might have a newborn if you can't remember the last time you peed without holding a baby at the same time.

This might be a UO considering how many likes there are on this but i don't get this one at all. Put the baby down and pee. I don't see any reason to go to the bathroom holding your baby in your own home. Unless your out and the baby is in a carrier?

[Widget123]

Jun 23, 2015 6:06:13 GMT -5 @poppyc8 said:

Jun 22, 2015 20:28:54 GMT -5 budders said:

You might have a newborn if you can't remember the last time you peed without holding a baby at the same time.

This might be a UO considering how many likes there are on this but i don't get this one at all. Put the baby down and pee. I don't see any reason to go to the bathroom holding your baby in your own home. Unless your out and the baby is in a carrier?

I dont do this with newborns either. DD went through a phase a while ago in which she insisted that i hold her while i use the bathroom but that is different. Its like holding a sleeping baby for me too- if the baby is asleep, im going to put him down.

[wegrowsheep]

Jun 23, 2015 6:06:13 GMT -5 @poppyc8 said:

Jun 22, 2015 20:28:54 GMT -5 budders said:

You might have a newborn if you can't remember the last time you peed without holding a baby at the same time.

This might be a UO considering how many likes there are on this but i don't get this one at all. Put the baby down and pee. I don't see any reason to go to the bathroom holding your baby in your own home. Unless your out and the baby is in a carrier?

I would typically agree, but I did this with my last son. He was a screamer, and a horrible sleeper. When it takes you 2 or 3 hrs to get him to sleep, sometimes it doesn't seem worth it to chance setting him down. Survival of the wildly sleep deprived.

[carolyngrace]

Jun 23, 2015 7:43:54 GMT -5 wegrowsheep said:

Jun 23, 2015 6:06:13 GMT -5 @poppyc8 said:

This might be a UO considering how many likes there are on this but i don't get this one at all. Put the baby down and pee. I don't see any reason to go to the bathroom holding your baby in your own home. Unless your out and the baby is in a carrier?

I would typically agree, but I did this with my last son. He was a screamer, and a horrible sleeper. When it takes you 2 or 3 hrs to get him to sleep, sometimes it doesn't seem worth it to chance setting him down. Survival of the wildly sleep deprived.

Yup! Depends on the situation but if he's sleeping lightly I'm not risking putting him down and starting all over again with screaming!

[baytosa2013]

You might have a newborn (and be a FTM) if the thought of leaving the house with the baby alone petrifies you

if you haven't worn a bra in a week and live in tank tops that you can slip your arm through and pull down

if you haven't properly showered in 2 days. Yup I still have makeup from Sunday dinner on.

[leenziepops]

....if eating a meal at the table with two hands and being able to chew each bite at a normal civilised speed feels like luxury

...if you give yourself a pat on the back for fixing your hair and putting on mascara

... if netflix is your new savior

[erbear]

...if you obsess over poop.

[dogmama22]

Breast milk - I put that sh** on everything

[mrsmonogrammed]

.....You're religiously counting poops/pees like it's your job and cheering when you get the right number!

[silv3rlining]

...you sleep with a towel under you (ya know for leaked milk/spit up and/or blood

[mcp6286]

The thing that drains your phone battery isn't Facebook anymore...now, it's your app that keeps track of baby's feeds/diapers/naps. Couldn't live without it!

[bendherova]

Jun 23, 2015 11:56:32 GMT -5 silv3rlining said:

...you sleep with a towel under you (ya know for leaked milk/spit up and/or blood

or sweat. Not excited about the impending night sweats!

[islandgirl14]

... If projectile poop becomes a normalcy...

If your toddler suddenly starts running around with a pacifier in his mouth...

If the white noise machine suddenly becomes soothing to you too (in addition to the baby)!

[gigi3126]

Jun 23, 2015 12:51:55 GMT -5 mcp6286 said:

The thing that drains your phone battery isn't Facebook anymore...now, it's your app that keeps track of baby's feeds/diapers/naps. Couldn't live without it!

I was looking at these the other day. I still have an inside baby, but I'm running out of things to prep. Do you have a recommendation?