TTCAL Check-in 8/11

[notagoddess]

danib, when they take the septum out, they leave a little bit on the top to reduce the risk of perforating the uterus. An embryo that implants there would not survive, but the additional risk is small. The doctors said my risk of miscarriage is now in the normal range - 20%.

[rablissful]

wannabmama, I'm so glad you have us now! I had my cp while on vacation with my sister. It was the hardest thing I had to deal with. I ended up locking myself in my room early a couple of nights since everyone was drinking anyways. I couldn't imagine being at a wedding and bit being able to run and hide! So many hugs.

pbandj714 it's so hard dealing with happy for them and sad for us emotions. My sister is due any day now (only a few weeks before my EDD) and I've been avoiding her like the plague. I think I may have been better if it hadn't been for the second loss. Either way, I would have loved to have a baby close in age to hers, like her first dd and my sister's dd (who are only 8 months apart). It sucks.

notagoddess knowing the sex is so hard. It makes it so much more real. So many hugs to you.

LadyNymeria SO MANY HUGS TO YOU FRIEND. I hope your body gets its shit together soon. Have fun in Aruba! I miss it there.

[shadesofgold]

Thank you again for starting this, rablissful! And I'm sorry OPPs are punching you in the gut during an already difficult time.

danib, I hope you can find a way to treat yourself soon!

Oy mosdub, I am so sorry for your ongoing aftermath of your PMP, that it is a cloud continuing to hang over your head as you TTC and that other people's kids are making you feel the feels.

I am so sorry for your sister's insensitivity @led. Not nearly the same as getting labor and baby photo texts, but this weekend I had a pregnant friend (who knows about our loss) texting me for thoughts on her baby name choices. People don't get it. Extra hugs and wine for all the family babies popping up around you.

wannabmama, I'm sorry you're feeling so much stress and anxiety. It definitely doesn't make anything easier but it is oh so understandable. I hope you and MH are able to get on the same page and things feel more under control as you get your IUI stuff scheduled.

pbandj714, it sucks that you have to deal with your loss plus feeling like you should have been experiencing pregnancy along with your BFF. I wish we could pause the world and OPPs as we grieve. Or, more optimistically, while we catch up. It sounds like your friend is at least being sensitive to how hard it would be for you. I hope you can find a way to reconnect that is healing and not hurtful for you.

notagoddess, I am so jealous of your regular massages. I had one after my loss and it was so healing. I wish I made more regular massages a priority. I hope that you can find a good replacement therapy to cope with the pain and fear going forward.

My heart breaks that you are stuck in this limbo LadyNymeria. Are you going to try another dose or go right for the D&C? I did the D&C option as soon as our MMC was diagnosed because our midwife said that natural or medicated miscarriages could still take weeks. I didn't have the patience for it, so I cannot imagine what you are going through! To answer your question, we were told to wait 3 cycles, but I don't think it had anything to do with us electing the D&C. It was more for my cycle to regulate. Many people are told they can go back to trying immediately, so I think it just depends on your provider. I will say that I'm glad we had the time to grieve. I didn't think I'd need it, but I realized as time went on that it was harder than I thought it would be.


Loss History: I got my first BFP on Super Bowl Sunday. We immediately went to work planning our new life as parents. We didn't share our news with anyone - we were going to wait until we had confirmation at our 8 week U/S. The week before that though, I was bleeding. I had a breakdown - I just knew it was over. We went in the next day for an early U/S and saw that our baby was measuring about a week behind and had an abnormally slow heartbeat. Our midwife told us that there was essentially 0% chance of a good outcome. We made an U/S appointment for the next week and were sent home knowing we would lose our little spark of hope. I will never forget the dread and heartbreak of knowing my baby was dying inside of me. The next week, there was no heartbeat. I scheduled a D&C a few days later on March 5, 2015. We called our families the weekend we had planned to, but with very different news. The feeling of emptiness hasn't gone away.

How are you doing? Okay this week. Feeling more optimistic and less anxious than this time last month.

Status (TTA, TTC, Benched) TTC (3rd cycle off the bench after loss)

Diagnosis (if applicable): Short LPs (10 days or less) for 5 cycles - thyroid labs and bloodwork came back normal last week, AMH results still pending.

Updates/questions: Not much - just worried that my AMH labs are taking twice as long as they should. I am bracing for bad results.

Debbie downer (a place to vent): Nothing specific this week, just the normal bitterness thanks to a FB feed full of babies and bumps. Just trying to keep my mind occupied and stay hopeful.

GTKY: What is one nice thing you have done for yourself recently? Took myself on a mini shopping spree last week to help out my summer wardrobe. Signed up for Rockbox which is like Birchbox for designer jewelry rentals.

[kayladawn91]

rablissful thanks again for getting this whole thing started! EDDs are hard, do something nice for yourself that day!

danib I hope you get another surprise BFP soon to be your rainbow baby!

wannabmama dealing with other pregnancies with the same timing of yours is super hard. Hugs to you!

pbandj714 My sister and SIL are both due 2.5 months after my EDD and their pregnancies have been really hard for me. It does suck. Also, I want to go get a pedicure! Aren't they the best?

mosdub, hugs to you! I'm so sorry you're benched for that long.

@led hugs!! I'm sorry you are dealing with insensitive people.

notagoddess I had my first massage a few months ago when our administration brought people in to do them for teacher appreciation day. It was so relaxing! I never knew what everyone was talking about. But they are expensive, so I can't really afford to keep having them like I'd like to. Hopefully you can find something else to treat yourself with!

LadyNymeria I remember waiting to naturally miscarry and how hard it was. My OB refused to give me anything to help, only offered a D&C over and over and over again. Hugs to you and I hope it all happens soon for you so you can try to heal and move on to TTC again.

shadesofgold FX you get good results back!

theophania I hope your body starts giving you clearer signs. It's frustrating to not know what your body is doing!

Loss History: we started TTC in July 2014. I got a BFP in October. My first ultrasound at 8 weeks showed a blighted ovum. My OB wanted me to come back the following week because she said we could be wrong about my due date. However, I knew when I Od so I already knew. So the following week (the day before Thanksgiving)I went in again only to see the same thing on the ultrasound. I opted not to have a d&c so my OB wanted to monitor my HCG and have ultrasounds every 2-3 weeks until every happened on its own just to make sure I didn't have any complications. My levels kept rising for several weeks, but I finally miscarried naturally in late January. I then benched myself for emotional reasons untik I got my period back. That took 8 weeks, at which point I felt good enough to begin trying again. Looking back, I have no idea why I wanted to spend the holidays waiting to miscarry, but I did.

How are you doing? I'm usually fine if I stay busy. The summer has been hard because since I don't work, I've had a lot of time to think. Plus this summer was supposed to be really different than it has been. I was supposed to have a newborn to care for.

Status: TTC

Diagnosis (if applicable): None

Updates/Questions: I don't think so.

Debbie Downer: *child mentioned* I completely skipped my best friend's daughters bday party this past weekend. I just didn't feel like I could make it through without crying. She doesn't even know about my loss and when I texted her to apologize for not coming that day, she never responded. So now she's probably mad which sucks.

GTKY: We bought a new car in April which is mostly for my own driving. I've never bought myself something so expensive!

Edited because I forgot stuff

[shadesofgold]

Aug 11, 2015 12:15:29 GMT -5 theophania said:

Intro: We started TTC in December of 2013 and got a BFP August of 2014 (Sprout). At about 7 weeks I went in for a dating ultrasound since I don't ovulate on CD 14 and would be having a RCS. We discovered that Sprout had only grown to a little over 5 weeks and had a very slow heartbeat. This began a month of absolute hell in which we had weekly ultrasounds to monitor growth and heart rate. At each u/s Sprout grew just a little bit and the heart rate increased just a little bit. Finally a little after 10 weeks the ultrasound showed no more growth and no heartbeat. I had a D&C a few days later three days before my 33rd birthday.

Mid-January of 2015, right after the migration to TCF we got a BFP (Gumdrop). This pregnancy resulted in a natural miscarriage at 7 weeks. I woke up bleeding in the middle of the night and it was confirmed the next day via ultrasound and bloodwork.

After our second loss my doctor ran a blood panel to check my thyroid, blood sugar, and look for clotting factors. All of that was normal. The only issue that occurred both times is that my progesterone levels dropped during my betas. They will be supplementing progesterone after a positive test during a future pregnancy in order to see if that might help prevent another loss.

Status (TTA, TTC, Benched) - TTC

Diagnosis (if applicable) - All tests normal so far. If not pregnant by the Sept/Oct cycle, then we will be going for additional testing.

Updates/questions - My chart has changed quite with each loss and I finally this cycle (6 AL #2) feel like I have a grasp on when I will ovulate and what signs I should look for prior to try to catch my FW. If I'm right, then tomorrows temp will confirm ovulation and I will be happy to have figured it out.

Debbie downer (a place to vent) - This is the cycle that we got our BFP for Sprout (our first loss) and if I were to get a BFP, then I would be due within 2 days of our EDD for Sprout. I feel like at almost a year later I should be handling it all better, but as we inch closer to the start of the school year, when last year I was so excited about our pregnancy, and the anniversary of our loss date I am really struggling with my thoughts. I'm sad. I'm angry. I'm flat out bitter at times. I just don't know when it gets better. Does it ever get easier?

GTKY: What is one nice thing you have done for yourself recently? I've been getting myself out to do more with friends. Since my loss last year I retreated inside quite a bit and I've had a lot more anxiety in social situations. I'm trying to push through that.

I sure hope so. I'm sorry you are going through this particularly difficult time. I hope some fun out with friends helps a little.

[kayladawn91]

@pineappleoranges I've had to step back from FB recently. I used to log on several times a day since the app is on my phone, but now I've limited myself to once a day. It's just too much.

[shadesofgold]

Aug 11, 2015 12:29:32 GMT -5 kayladawn91 said:

@pineappleoranges I've had to step back from FB recently. I used to log on several times a day since the app is on my phone, but now I've limited myself to once a day. It's just too much.

I have unfollowed people, but then in moments of weakness I hate-stalk their pages. Why am I such a glutton for punishment?

[NatalieDavid]

Loss history: 1MMC at 12 weeks on May 29th our baby stopped growing at 9 weeks. Our NIPT showed our little girl had turners syndrome which means she was missing a chromosome.

How are you doing? Up and down on the weekly/daily. I've been mostly good now that I passed the week I would have turned 20 weeks, not sure why that one was so hard for me. I participate a lot over on CAL so I hope you don't mind I'm here too since this is where I started.

Status (TTA, TTC, Benched)TTC

Debbie downer (a place to vent): I'm at the end of my TWW so I'm feeling hopeful. I know I will end up in bed crying for a day if AF shows. That is all I can think about this week.

GTKY: What is one nice thing you have done for yourself recently? DH and I booked a trip to the smoky mountains for our third anniversary next month! Now I'm buying lots of cute clothes for the trip.

[kayladawn91]

shadesofgold i still do that occasionally, and then hate myself.

theophania we bought a 2015 Jeep Cherokee. I love love love it!!!

NatalieDavid I love the smoky mountains but haven't been in years! I hope you enjoy your trip!

[NatalieDavid]

Thanks for starting rablissful, I need to see a kitten picture!
@led sorry you had to deal with that, so not cool.
pbandj714 my cousin is due two days before my EDD. She gives me so many triggers so as much as I love her I had to block her from my life for now. When I have good days I text her and we talk about life stuff. She avoids pregnancy talk bc she knows it hard for me, but I had to make it very clear to her I could not be a part of that part of her life.
LadyNymeria so many ((hugs)) I'm sorry the process is not going easily.
shadesofgold Facebook is a bitch for triggers.
theophania You are completely allowed to be sad about this upcoming date. Loss is hard and you are allowed to feel whatever you need to.
kayladawn91 your friend will get over being mad at you, you have to do what's best for you and your sanity.

[raelien23]

Hi ladies, I haven't posted much but would love to join you here. You all make the world a little bit of a less lonely place. This shit is hard.

My Story: We started ttc in January and got a BFP our second month trying. I had a few pictures on my phone of us smiling - blissfully ignorant - with that silly pee-stick. I wanted to keep them because it was a nice memory to think of how happy we were, but ultimately deleted because it is just too hard. At about 5 1/2 weeks I went to the doctor for a confirmation and barely turned a pee test, they took betas which were super low (33) and I was told I would naturally miscarry. A few days later, I started bleeding. We took a month off, then started ttc again in May. Again, second month trying I got a bfp (in July). This time, I was much more cautious and yet fiercely hopeful. How could the same shit happen twice? Again, even sooner this time, I started bleeding.

How are you doing?: Just coming up onto chart day one. Had a horrible cry breakdown yesterday after I got a bfn and started spotting. For some reason I had been so so hopeful of getting knocked up right away as anecdotally two of my friends had pregnancys right after CPs. Alas, not for me. I'm a teacher so it has been particularly hard to enjoy this summer as it has provided too much opportunity to be in my head and I fully expected to be pregnant by now. I'm looking forward to school starting and getting back into the work routine.


Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTC

Diagnosis (if applicable): After the CP in July I talked to my primary care doctor and she said she didn't recommend RPL until after 3 losses. Apparently CPs are "just so common." So I guess I'm waiting? I have an appointment for my annual with the OB/GYN in September so I will ask then what they think. I have zero health insurance for anything "infertility" related, although it makes me livid that something could be wrong with my body and yet my health insurance (which costs my employer $$$$) wouldn't cover it because it has to do with trying to have a baby. Grrr.

Updates/questions: None right now.

Debbie downer (a place to vent): **OPP**
Everyone is fucking pregnant, including two friends who were within 1-2 weeks of my first EDD. It is a painful physical reminder of exactly where I would have been. It is hard to think about that EDD coming up in December and not being pregnant.

GTKY: What is one nice thing you have done for yourself recently?
Hmmm... MH and I have a big back to school shopping trip planned for Thursday so really looking forward to that. We also took a little one night trip for our anniversary last week which was nice.

[wannabmama]

Oh you guys, I've been busy at work and scrolling quickly through these responses. It makes me so sad to read the stories but also so comforted knowing there are so many people here who are supportive and kind and have shared experiences, even if the exact experiences are different for each. I just let out the deepest breath feeling a little better about the world seeing how wonderful people (most of whom don't really "know" each other) can be to one another.
Sorry for the snappiness...feeling mushy ovah heah.

[pbandj714]

So many hugs to you raelien23. The reminders of what should have been are so, so hard. I still have the pee stick, US picture, and "Big Sister" bandana the dog wore when I told DH in my bedside table. I just don't know what to do with them.

[LadyNymeria]

Aug 11, 2015 13:58:43 GMT -5 pbandj714 said:

So many hugs to you raelien23. The reminders of what should have been are so, so hard. I still have the pee stick, US picture, and "Big Sister" bandana the dog wore when I told DH in my bedside table. I just don't know what to do with them.

I had bought the Belly Book journal and had started filling it out already. I feels wrong to throw it away but I don't know what keeping it will do for me.

I love the book so hopefully I can get and stay pregnant, but one of the first pages it ask you which pregnancy the book is for. It's going to be really sad to have to right second when there's no LC from the first one. Maybe I'll find a nice rainbow sticker for that page whenever I hopefully get to that point.

[kayladawn91]

raelien23, I just deleted the pee stick picture from my phone the other day. It hurt every time I saw it and I finally just decided there was no point in continuing to keep it, especially if deleting a simple picture could keep some of pain away. It's hard. Hugs to you!

[shadesofgold]

Aug 11, 2015 13:58:43 GMT -5 pbandj714 said:

So many hugs to you raelien23. The reminders of what should have been are so, so hard. I still have the pee stick, US picture, and "Big Sister" bandana the dog wore when I told DH in my bedside table. I just don't know what to do with them.

We moved to a new house a couple weeks after our loss, so I made the choice to toss the pee sticks and glad I did that. I also deleted the blog I'd started which I was going to use to share our weekly updates and milestones with select friends and family across the country (rather than posting to FB). I sort of wish I hadn't deleted it. We still have a onesie and the Mayo guide left, stuffed in my closet, hoping to someday come in handy. I wish we had a US picture, even though we never really had a normal US. That seems like such a precious token to have.

[kyzo]

***Living child mentioned in siggy***

Intro: Started TTC for #1 in 2011. Tried for >1 yr (dx: unexplained infertility), finally successful after 3rd round (150 mg) of clomid. Started TTC #2 last July and was lucky to get pregnant right away. Started bleeding at 9w5d and had a D/C 5 days later. I got a random BFP in June but my temp was low so I knew I was having a c/p. I finally got a negative 8 days later.

How are you doing? Getting frustrated now that we've been trying for 14 months

Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTC

Diagnosis (if applicable): unexplained infertility (hoping to get another IF work up in October)

Updates/questions: none

Debbie downer (a place to vent): I'm frustrated that my OB wants us to wait until October to pursue IF testing. I thought with our history we wouldn't have to wait so long. I'm hoping to make an appointment in late September so I can do CD3 bloodwork in October.

GTKY: What is one nice thing you have done for yourself recently? I bought two new blouses last week on a whim. I'm going to a wine/painting party this weekend for my birthday and plan to indulge with a lot of wine.

[bazinga]

Thanks for starting this rablissful,reading through the stories of everyone, as different as they are is both sad and comforting.

Intro/ History: **child mentioned** I'm 39 and we started TFAS around April of this year. I'm AMA so we were getting nervous about waiting too much longer. I got a BFN on our 3rd cycle trying and started what I thought was a light period. About a week later I had severe pain in my abdomen, and with a wierd suspicion took another test. I got a BFP on the same day I found out I had a ruptured ovarian cyst and possible EP. My OBGYN was on call at the ER, and whilst she couldn't really tell where the pregnancy was (and/ or if my tube had also ruptured) she was willing to try and avoid surgery. My hCG levels were very low but borderline at the time and were tracked for 2 days while I was under observation before she determined my pregnancy wasn't viable. Those 2 days of desperately hoping everything would turn out well, whilst knowing the chances were very slim were just awful. Ultimately I was treated with methotrexate to resolve the EP.

How are you doing? Generally OK, but a feeling of general sadness is not too far from the surface and I'm finding myself very easily upset in the last week or so. Trying to stay positive and hopeful.

Status (TTA, TTC, Benched: Benched until mid-Sept.

Diagnosis (if applicable: I had no known risk factors for an EP, but now my chances of another are significantly increased. Because I had a very unusual presentation (according to my OBGYN), we're unsure if the EP was in my tube and/ or if my tube actually ruptured in addition to the cyst on my ovary. It's all a little confusing to be honest and I don't know if or how it'll affect our future chances.

Updates/questions: Nope

Debbie downer (a place to vent): see above.

GTKY: What is one nice thing you have done for yourself recently? I don't treat myself often but I just signed up to Stitch Fix to refresh my wardrobe. Getting my first surprise package of outfits a few days ago was more fun that I expected. Also, we've booked some Fall camping trips (locations of my choice for a change) that I'm looking forward to.

@led,I'm so sorry about your sisters insensitivity.
Hugs to everyone else who need them. This is hard...

[raelien23]

rablissful Kittens are the best! I have two dogs who just make things so much better. They are bundles of love and doggie joy.

mosdub, I am so sorry you are in such a scary situation. Ugh.

@led, I understand the bitterness. **OPP and LC** My stepsister has a 2yo and they're trying for a second. She loves to complain about parenthood - grr - and actually texted me with an "I'm so tired and old it's so hard being a parent to a toddler and possibly another on the way." Is that a pregnancy announcement or are you just that confident?

notagoddess, I'm so sorry for your loss. ((hugs))

pbandj714, I know what you mean about functioning okay but feeling emotionally terrible. For me, I'm such a rational person most of the time that my emotions sneak up and bomb me and all of a sudden I'm like "what was that!?" My poor husb.

LadyNymeria, UGH I am so sorry this is happening

kayladawn91, I feel you on the summers. I **almost** did summer school and then I was all, "no way, I'll be gestating." Now I kinda wish I had.

shadesofgold, I've been told that research shows that losing a pregnancy is the same level of grief as losing a close family member or going through a cancer diagnosis. I 100% believe it. I just want to say I agree with you that this is a tough struggle, and that experiencing loss adds a hard scary element to ttc.

[notagoddess]

Aug 11, 2015 14:19:23 GMT -5 shadesofgold said:

Aug 11, 2015 13:58:43 GMT -5 pbandj714 said:

So many hugs to you raelien23. The reminders of what should have been are so, so hard. I still have the pee stick, US picture, and "Big Sister" bandana the dog wore when I told DH in my bedside table. I just don't know what to do with them.

We moved to a new house a couple weeks after our loss, so I made the choice to toss the pee sticks and glad I did that. I also deleted the blog I'd started which I was going to use to share our weekly updates and milestones with select friends and family across the country (rather than posting to FB). I sort of wish I hadn't deleted it. We still have a onesie and the Mayo guide left, stuffed in my closet, hoping to someday come in handy. I wish we had a US picture, even though we never really had a normal US. That seems like such a precious token to have.

I really wish I had an US picture. I was so incredibly upset and emotional when I got my only US in the ER, that I don't remember it very well. I remember being overwhelmed with how beautiful the baby was, but I don't have a mental or physical image to keep.

[pbandj714]

Aug 11, 2015 16:24:02 GMT -5 notagoddess said:

Aug 11, 2015 14:19:23 GMT -5 shadesofgold said:

We moved to a new house a couple weeks after our loss, so I made the choice to toss the pee sticks and glad I did that. I also deleted the blog I'd started which I was going to use to share our weekly updates and milestones with select friends and family across the country (rather than posting to FB). I sort of wish I hadn't deleted it. We still have a onesie and the Mayo guide left, stuffed in my closet, hoping to someday come in handy. I wish we had a US picture, even though we never really had a normal US. That seems like such a precious token to have.

I really wish I had an US picture. I was so incredibly upset and emotional when I got my only US in the ER, that I don't remember it very well. I remember being overwhelmed with how beautiful the baby was, but I don't have a mental or physical image to keep.

I am glad that I have it. However, right now it's just a painful reminder of that terrible moment when I knew something was wrong. It's just a tiny little spec rather than the little baby with a heartbeat we should have seen that day. So it's still hard.

Edit: removed emoji

[notagoddess]

Aug 11, 2015 17:00:34 GMT -5 pbandj714 said:

Aug 11, 2015 16:24:02 GMT -5 notagoddess said:

I really wish I had an US picture. I was so incredibly upset and emotional when I got my only US in the ER, that I don't remember it very well. I remember being overwhelmed with how beautiful the baby was, but I don't have a mental or physical image to keep.

I am glad that I have it. However, right now it's just a painful reminder of that terrible moment when I knew something was wrong. It's just a tiny little spec rather than the little baby with a heartbeat we should have seen that day. So it's still hard.

Edit: removed emoji

That's heartbreaking. Huge hugs to you.

[shadesofgold]

pippacricket I won't get my first Rocksbox shipment for another 2 weeks or so. I used a promo code from a friend and I got the first shipment/month free. I can send you the code if you want to try it, too!

[kayladawn91]

bazinga tell me more about Stitch Fix! What's the price range for the pieces? It sounds interesting!

eta words

[hydrangea1019]

Aug 11, 2015 14:09:52 GMT -5 LadyNymeria said:

Aug 11, 2015 13:58:43 GMT -5 pbandj714 said:

So many hugs to you raelien23. The reminders of what should have been are so, so hard. I still have the pee stick, US picture, and "Big Sister" bandana the dog wore when I told DH in my bedside table. I just don't know what to do with them.

I had bought the Belly Book journal and had started filling it out already. I feels wrong to throw it away but I don't know what keeping it will do for me.

I love the book so hopefully I can get and stay pregnant, but one of the first pages it ask you which pregnancy the book is for. It's going to be really sad to have to right second when there's no LC from the first one. Maybe I'll find a nice rainbow sticker for that page whenever I hopefully get to that point.

When we came home from our first u/s I went through our house and threw everything away (pee sticks, baby blankets, bibs...). All gone.

But I can't get rid of the pictures I have on my phone of when we told my family. The pure joy on their faces helps me remember that our baby was real and they were loved.

And now I'm crying. Jeez!!

[hydrangea1019]

I meant to post in this thread earlier, but work got the best of me today. I'm glad I am able to get to it tonight though. I really think this can provide some healing over time.

p.s. Someone needs to teach me, or show me where to read instructions, on how to do that fancy spoiler button lol

rablissful, sending ((hugs)). Our EDD is right around the corner as well. As it gets closer, it's getting hard I think.
mosdub, I'm sorry for your PMP. Thank you for explaining it in detail like you did. I have heard women talk about PMP and MP, but never actually knew what it was or the treatment.
@led, if not here, then where else can we whine? I think your perfectly fine expressing those feelings here ((hugs))
danib, definitely get out and do something nice for yourself! You don't even have to "go out" but run a nice warm bath and take some time for you. It's worth it
LadyNymeria, when we had our mmc, I tried waiting my body out for it to complete on its own but it never did. In total I waited an additional 3 weeks (waited 1 week after our u/s to see if there would be any change, then an additional 2 weeks waiting to mc). I ended up having the d/c. We only had to wait 1 cycle after my period returned.
theophania, I think a lot of us tend to retreat after a mc. I think it's just natural to want to be alone during that time and to grieve. I hope you're able to push through the anxiety and get back into a groove with your social and support networks.
@pineappleoranges I have had to stop logging into FB, too. It gets painful pretty quickly scrolling through all the posts.

Our History: DH and I are both 30.  We started TTC in April of 2014.  It took 9 cycles to get our first BFP.  We found out in January.  I had some spotting and 1 dot of red, but everytime I called the doctor they said just take it easy if you aren't cramping you're ok and if it gets worse to go to the ER.  We went for our first u/s at 8 weeks and discovered it was most likely a MMC.  OB told us there was no baby.  I knew something was wrong when I looked at the screen and immediately didn't see anything.  I turned my head, but I think DH thought she was just looking for it.  We went back the following day to meet with the u/s tech.  She found the baby, but it was measuring small.  Ended up waiting 1 week to make sure before we called it.  Then once confirmed I waited an additional 2 weeks for my body to complete the process.  Of course, it didn't.  So I had a d/c in March 2015.  I was only benched for 1 cycle.  We are now TTC on our 5th cycle AL.

How are you doing?

**Trigger Warning**

My brother and SIL just adopted a new born. He is precious! I got to hold him and be with them, but there was a moment I had a break down and had to hand him back. I just keep playing in my mind that ours would've been 2 months (almost to the day) younger. Our EDD is 10-5-15 and as the day gets closer, I feel like I am getting more and more emotional about it.  It doesn't help that our EDD is also the birthday of my late grandmother.  Jeez.

**Trigger over**

Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): Full force TTC lol
GTKY: What is one nice thing you have done for yourself recently? I guess I did it for myself, since I agreed to go lol My SIL paid for a girls weekend and we went to the spa, winery, and just had a really good time together. Nice and relaxing.

ETA our history

[rablissful]

shadesofgold, Facebook can be the literal worst. I'm glad you're doing better this cycle though! Everything crossed for your labs!

theophania I don't know if it will ever get easier, at least not until we're all done with the ttc process. There are so many triggers trying to have a family, it's like constantly ripping band-aids off.

kayladawn91 hugs lady. I skipped my niece's second birthday party right after my first loss and almost skipped my other niece's birthday third party after this most recent one (only reason I didn't skip was because my pregnant sister wasn't going to be there). Sometimes you just have to remove yourself to keep from getting worked up. Talk to your friend, I'm sure she'll understand.

@pineappleoranges all the love to you lady. I'm glad D is a sweetheart. It's so hard thinking of where you'd be "If only". I'm doing that double time right now and it's so hard.

NatalieDavid retail therapy is always cathartic. AF is a bitch, just go get more clothes to feel better.
Ask for kitten pictures and your shall receive!


raelien23 of course you can play with us. I'm also a teacher and this summer has been really really hard. I'm sorry you're not able to enjoy yours. New recommendations say RPL testing after two losses, so if you really want it I would fight for it. I plan on doing the same when I get off my butt and get to the doctor. I love my dog too, and the kitten and him are becoming friends! That snuggled for awhile today. I almost exploded from the cute.

kyzo I hope you can get into the doctors end of September. Look on the bright side, that's only a month away!

bazinga I've looked into stitch fix and I want to try it so bad, but we don't have the money for it right now. Camping sounds like fun! We haven't been in a few years but would love to start again.

pippacricket this will you in no time
I wish I lived closer so I could yoga with you.

hydrangea1019 girls weekends are good for the soul. Congrats on your nephew, but I'm sure it was hard. I'm seriously dreading meeting my niece whenever she makes her appearance.

[wannabmama]

Aug 11, 2015 17:27:41 GMT -5 kayladawn91 said:

bazinga tell me more about Stitch Fix! What's the price range for the pieces? It sounds interesting!

eta words

I realize this wasn't for me...but I'm obsessed with stitchfix! I get it once every other month. Each piece is a little more than I usually spend on an individual piece but the stuff is fun and good add on pieces to mix up my wardrobe bc left to my own devices I'd wear really boring basics. I usually spend $180-200 for five things (if you keep it all you get 20% off) plus you pay a $20 styling fee that goes toward anything you keep.
I've had a couple of "miss" boxes but usually I keep it all or almost all. It feels like such a treat!

[bazinga]

kayladawn91 and pippacricket, you get to select a price range when you enter your profile. I set a $100 max, which is at the lower end of what they offer and what I got ranged from $28-98. I'd say 3/5 items were priced about right. If you keep 1 item you get the $20 styling fee as a discount. If you keep all 5 you get 25% of the lot. I decided to give it another try.

wannabmama, just saw your reply too 

rablissful, your kitten is just gorgeous! Enjoy the cuteness.

[kayladawn91]

Hmmmm thanks bazinga and wannabmama! when I get back to work, I may have to look more into it. There's no commitment then? If you don't like any of the items, do you just lose out on the $20 fee?