Hi ladies...could use some advice
Aug 23, 2015 19:33:31 GMT -5
Post by msugirl on Aug 23, 2015 19:33:31 GMT -5
Hi ladies,
I typically post on CAR and D15, but could really use some of your experience and wisdom tonight. I apologize in advance that this is going to be super long. A little background, MH is Catholic with a very religious family (they basically helped build the church in his hometown), but he doesn't really attend church unless his parents force him to go or for holidays (Christmas, Easter, etc). I'm Jewish and spent my childhood in the atheist Soviet Union where religion was forbidden, so when we moved to the United States, it became a big part of my identity. I went to Hebrew school, Jewish camps, etc. My family however, is not at all religious aside from my two grandma's who are no longer with us.
MH and I got married when we were very young, and had both a priest and a rabbi officiate our wedding. We had decided then that we wanted to raise our children with exposure to both cultures and religions and have them decide later on. I know this probably sounds really naiive and overly-optimistic now, but we thought if I went to church with him and he went to synagogue with me, it would make the child not feel as if they're choosing between mom and dad, but really more based on their own beliefs and we'd both support whatever they chose.
Fast forward 9 years...through 6 years of TTC and three MCs, we are 25 weeks pregnant with out baby boy. Having a bris (Jewish circumcision ceremony) was something we both had agreed upon because it was a non-negotiable for me. Well, tonight, MH brought up baptizing the child too, and said it's important to him to do that since we're having a bris. Part of me actually feels like his family may be pushing him a little on this, but they're pretty convincing.
Anyways, so I know I'm probably wrong for being so selfish, but I just feel so wrong about a baptism that tells our son he's born with sin and is dammed since it goes against my religion. Also, I know during baptism, you have to promise to raise your child Catholic, and while he will be raised Catholic, it almost feels deceptive since he'll also be raised Jewish.
Anyone have experience with this or thoughts on how to possibly make the baptism more interfaith-friendly? I told H that we need to schedule a meeting with the priest, but he thinks we need to have an idea of what we actually want first.
Thank you ladies in advance for your help! Treats if you've made it this far!
I typically post on CAR and D15, but could really use some of your experience and wisdom tonight. I apologize in advance that this is going to be super long. A little background, MH is Catholic with a very religious family (they basically helped build the church in his hometown), but he doesn't really attend church unless his parents force him to go or for holidays (Christmas, Easter, etc). I'm Jewish and spent my childhood in the atheist Soviet Union where religion was forbidden, so when we moved to the United States, it became a big part of my identity. I went to Hebrew school, Jewish camps, etc. My family however, is not at all religious aside from my two grandma's who are no longer with us.
MH and I got married when we were very young, and had both a priest and a rabbi officiate our wedding. We had decided then that we wanted to raise our children with exposure to both cultures and religions and have them decide later on. I know this probably sounds really naiive and overly-optimistic now, but we thought if I went to church with him and he went to synagogue with me, it would make the child not feel as if they're choosing between mom and dad, but really more based on their own beliefs and we'd both support whatever they chose.
Fast forward 9 years...through 6 years of TTC and three MCs, we are 25 weeks pregnant with out baby boy. Having a bris (Jewish circumcision ceremony) was something we both had agreed upon because it was a non-negotiable for me. Well, tonight, MH brought up baptizing the child too, and said it's important to him to do that since we're having a bris. Part of me actually feels like his family may be pushing him a little on this, but they're pretty convincing.
Anyways, so I know I'm probably wrong for being so selfish, but I just feel so wrong about a baptism that tells our son he's born with sin and is dammed since it goes against my religion. Also, I know during baptism, you have to promise to raise your child Catholic, and while he will be raised Catholic, it almost feels deceptive since he'll also be raised Jewish.
Anyone have experience with this or thoughts on how to possibly make the baptism more interfaith-friendly? I told H that we need to schedule a meeting with the priest, but he thinks we need to have an idea of what we actually want first.
Thank you ladies in advance for your help! Treats if you've made it this far!