Hey ladies! Busy weekend here! D had his pajama party yesterday which was a blast! The boys had dinner together at his picnic table and then ran around the yard! Then we came in got cleaned up and had pj's, popcorn and Mickey! After the boys went to be the moms had cake and wine! Today after a scrambled egg and cheerio breakfast we said goodbye and I got ready go a baby shower and then a shopping trip to the mall alone! MH did the laundry and dishes while I was gone and then we made dinner together!
Semi successful trip to the splash pad. He would touch the water and run away squealing but he had fun got a little wet and most importantly wore himself out.
M only knows how to microwave things in his play kitchen
So does J. When we are in the basement he likes to press his buttons and asks me to press the real microwave buttons at the same time to hear them beep together.
Oh man it's all about perspective I think. D was a MESS as an infant! I felt like a prisoner in my own home with this baby that was either on the boob, crying, shitting all over, crying, on the boob, crying. I ate nothing but lettuce in order to nurse a child with an extremely difficult digestive tract. He was cute but we didn't have many "good" days for a while. Sure he has tantrums now but when I reminisce where we started this is nothing compared to those days. Even my friends remember how crazy hard those first 10 months were. This age is a completely different ballgame for us and I think my experience is that if we can get through D as an infant this is nothing.
This is how i feel about it too. I dont think your parents are "parenting" for you BUT theyre there. If youre all home at the same time and you put M down for a nap you can say "hey mom im going to xyz"... When J naps im stuck home. When my mom comes over for a few days she doesnt parent J. I still do everything. She may cook here and there but i do all things J related. Its nice to go in another room and know my mom has an eye on him. Its nice to shower or pee without keeping an eye on him. Etc
Even when youre at work youre still doing your thing.
Dont get me wrong, up until last week i didnt mind spending every minute with J but now im beginning to think that he is acting the way he is bc im the one around all the time. Im the one who has to tell him what he cant do. He doesnt get to miss me.
Theres a lot more but im getting ready to go to a party. Sorry to semi post and run.
I may be *able* to do that, but I don't. And I'm not usually able to do it anyways cause my parents work. They do their own thing on the weekends. I'm not trying to argue I just get a lot from people that 'oh you have it so easy cause you have your parents' help' and I really don't. People that have husbands have more help than I do.
Im not trying to argue either and im sure that it is totally annoying to have people think that you get a ton of help when you dont. Im just trying to explain my situation and why after 28 months i finally feel like i need some me time. I will PM you what happened on my bday so you can understand what i went through. I dont even think an explanation really does what happened justice. I really need a video of what went on.
Being with J 24/7 is just taking a toll i think. He has no time to miss me. No reason to appreciate me. He has nothing to compare me to. Its just me. I dont really want a break from him but i feel like it will actually help our relationship and bring us closer.
I think a lot of it depends on how much your husband is able to do. Last spring and summer my husband was consumed with house projects and grad school so I did a lot on my own. Regardless of if I had been home with Miss A all day or had been at work it's still hard to do it by yourself. I doubt nursemommy13 considers 12 hour shifts with demanding patients a break. I completely get that staying home when your husband works long hours is hard, but so is working too. It's rubbing me the wrong way to hear going to work being referred to as a break. Many ladies here have stressful job and a lot of responsibilities to balance.
If i worked id get a break from J. Not a break to sit and eat bonbons. He'd get the chance to miss me. He'd get the chance to appreciate all i do for him and realize that i dont HAVE to do those things.
cl8badb, I caught the first post but a lot has been deleted after, so just piecing together. I think the ladies have given you a ton of great advice and most of us can totally commiserate too. My DH is also the fun one, and is rarely home. He has only very recently started to offer any sort of assistance in disciplining (after many, many late night convos about how he can't just be fun) but even when he tries he sucks at it. I will remain the unfun disciplinarian in our household, unfortunately. I've been trying to find time for myself here and there because when I get that time to myself I can usually handle the tantrums better and it also seems there are fewer (maybe she needs a break from me too?)
Remember a couple weeks ago you said that you never really felt the need to leave J overnight? Now might be a good time for you to plan something for you. Maybe even something regular, so you both can get a break from each other and you can be completely OFF parenting duties for X number of hours (if you come home the same night you are still technically "on" because there is always the possibility of a late night or early morning wake up). It doesn't seem like much, but just having my brain know that I am totally "off" duty, unless something extraordinary were to happen, makes it so much easier for me to fully relax. And I come back the next day a better, more easy going mom to a more well-behaved, more easy going toddler.
Im definitely planning more time for myself. Im going to start with some time away on the weekend.
I made an amazing dinner of meatloaf, roasted potatoes, and corn on the cob. DD ate the meatloaf, happily declaring it "chicken." She also tried the roasted potatoes, but wasn't so quick to believe they were "French fries." She plowed through her corn, a serving of peas, and some berries too. So proud of her for trying new things.
I think a lot of it depends on how much your husband is able to do. Last spring and summer my husband was consumed with house projects and grad school so I did a lot on my own. Regardless of if I had been home with Miss A all day or had been at work it's still hard to do it by yourself. I doubt nursemommy13 considers 12 hour shifts with demanding patients a break. I completely get that staying home when your husband works long hours is hard, but so is working too. It's rubbing me the wrong way to hear going to work being referred to as a break. Many ladies here have stressful job and a lot of responsibilities to balance.
If i worked id get a break from J. Not a break to sit and eat bonbons. He'd get the chance to miss me. He'd get the chance to appreciate all i do for him and realize that i dont HAVE to do those things.
I think it has to do with wording. Time away from your child is one thing, but to refer to being at work itself as a break is what bugs me.
If i worked id get a break from J. Not a break to sit and eat bonbons. He'd get the chance to miss me. He'd get the chance to appreciate all i do for him and realize that i dont HAVE to do those things.
I think it has to do with wording. Time away from your child is one thing, but to refer to being at work itself as a break is what bugs me.
Post by heelibrarian on Aug 30, 2015 19:50:10 GMT -5
Nothing but love sent your way lizzybizzy. Being a stay at home parent takes its toll in so many ways. I hope that y'all can find a solution so everyone is happy and healthy. Hugs.
lizzybizzy omg.... I am so happy to hear that things are getting worked on and brought to light but that must have been horrendous. I'm so sorry. Please text me anytime girl.
Post by heelibrarian on Aug 30, 2015 19:53:40 GMT -5
thatblondie I'd be tempted to take him to the people more familiar with everything that can see him quickly. You've been so proactive and have trusted your instincts and I say keep going with that. M is a lucky kiddo to have such a mom in his corner! Do what you need to and apologize later.
Nothing but love sent your way lizzybizzy. Being a stay at home parent takes its toll in so many ways. I hope that y'all can find a solution so everyone is happy and healthy. Hugs.
So apparently I didn't do a good enough job hiding my drinking last weekend at the wedding, because one of my friends asked me if I was pregnant as soon as I saw her yesterday. Oh well. These truly are my best friends and I'm not upset they know. I didn't make a big announcement or anything - we were with 6 other couples camping in a cabin - but I think everyone figured out but was cool enough to let me wait a while longer to talk about it.
Lots of hugs for my B's. I can understand both sides of the situation a bit as I get to be a SAHM in the summer. But I still get lots of breaks from her. This parenting shit ain't easy. That's why we're here for each other.
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