Just another random Monday

[stinybean]

I'm starting a lot of threads lately. I hope no one minds. I'm just bored sitting on the train going to work.

Someone on the train today must have rolled around in cigarette ashes because I feel like I'm going to leave the train smelling like it. It's giving me a headache. And on top of that I'm in the bathroom car and someone took a dump. Great combo, let me tell you!

[erbear]

I love new threads!

LO and I are going to a conservatory and botanical garden today because it has free admission! Here's hoping it's not insanely busy since it's a Monday!

[billyhorrible]

Sept 21, 2015 6:26:14 GMT -5 budders said:

I feel so conflicted about breast-feeding all of the time. Now that I'm working, pumping is such a pain in the ass, and V has been so anxious to breast-feed when I get home that he has torn up my nipples again. Plus, now that we seem to not be sleeping anymore, I can't indulge in all of the caffeine that I want in order to function at work because I don't want it to affect him.

I'll keep doing it for as long as I can though, because he really loves it so much, and we've already gotten this far.

(Hugs) This is part of the reason that breastfeeding has become. ..class-ist? Elite? Breastfeeding is so much harder when you work, and therefore "easier" the longer you can afford (the time or money) to avoid going back. You are not alone!

[ashbash]

Sept 21, 2015 5:30:23 GMT -5 stinybean said:

I'm starting a lot of threads lately. I hope no one minds. I'm just bored sitting on the train going to work.

Someone on the train today must have rolled around in cigarette ashes because I feel like I'm going to leave the train smelling like it. It's giving me a headache. And on top of that I'm in the bathroom car and someone took a dump. Great combo, let me tell you!

I think I just threw up a little.....

[ashbash]

Sept 21, 2015 7:37:25 GMT -5 Kristykristyleelee said:

*hugs* budders all I can say is keep making the best decision for you and V.

+1 and that may change over time or it may not - either way you know whats best for you and V

[mrsmonogrammed]

budders big hugs, BF and working sucks. Do whatever is best for the two of you (I know you are, but it can be really hard to make that FF decision) I've been close a few times!

ashbash it blows my mind that you're still "noob" status, I feel like you've been around forever and often chime in on threads!

I have a client list with FIFTEEN people on it today. Normal average we see is 8. -__- Eff you, Illinois, and your non-budget having ass.

[dmoney]

Sept 21, 2015 6:26:14 GMT -5 budders said:

I feel so conflicted about breast-feeding all of the time. Now that I'm working, pumping is such a pain in the ass, and V has been so anxious to breast-feed when I get home that he has torn up my nipples again. Plus, now that we seem to not be sleeping anymore, I can't indulge in all of the caffeine that I want in order to function at work because I don't want it to affect him.

I'll keep doing it for as long as I can though, because he really loves it so much, and we've already gotten this far.

I am right there with you!! Trying to get 2 pumping sessions in a day is horrible!!  Plus With me having a supply issue i feel like a failure because i don't produce enough for LO.  We have to combo feed because of this.. Just know you are doing a great job!  Ive been told that it gets easier as the time goes on. Just know (As my pediatrican told me) any breastmilk your child gets (IF you choose to breastfeed) is better then none.  She even told me that after her first and all of the issues that she had with breastfeeding, she went straight to formula for the rest of her children (she has 4).  Just keep doing what you are doing and know you are a great mom!!

[Widget123]

I'm pondering this rash I saw on a baby's face at daycare this morning. After going through slideshows online, I'm telling myself its just hives from a food allergy because that's what I want to believe.

[ashbash]

I have to run to Hobby Lobby for a small thing of paint and I will have to say that to myself 100x times while Im there, its just as bad as Target for me! I walk in to buy one thing and $100 dollars later I leave the store

[tiffbot]

Hugs budders and everyone who needs one.

Last week we met a friend's 3 month old, today we are going to a friend's to meet her 2 week old, and I also have plans to go visit another friend and her one week old this week. Babiiiiiies!

[gigi3126]

Sept 21, 2015 6:26:14 GMT -5 budders said:

I feel so conflicted about breast-feeding all of the time. Now that I'm working, pumping is such a pain in the ass, and V has been so anxious to breast-feed when I get home that he has torn up my nipples again. Plus, now that we seem to not be sleeping anymore, I can't indulge in all of the caffeine that I want in order to function at work because I don't want it to affect him.

I'll keep doing it for as long as I can though, because he really loves it so much, and we've already gotten this far.

Don't be to hard on yourself. I think everyone who goes back to work struggles with this to some extent. I hate pumping so much, and probably would have given up if it weren't for two things: first, formula is crazy expensive. It sounds terrible that this is a factor, but I gotta be realistic. Second, being at work makes me greedy for the baby snuggles, and bfing gives me the excuse to monopolize him when I'm home. Hang in there! And know that whatever you decide to do will be best for you and baby.

[mrsmonogrammed]

Sept 21, 2015 8:48:27 GMT -5 tiffbot said:

Hugs budders and everyone who needs one.

Last week we met a friend's 3 month old, today we are going to a friend's to meet her 2 week old, and I also have plans to go visit another friend and her one week old this week. Babiiiiiies!

Doesn't it make you realize how big our babies are getting?? We were at s family party yesterday and there is a baby 1m younger than DD and she was just so tiny looking! It's crazy how fast they grow!

[mrsmonogrammed]

Sept 21, 2015 8:18:43 GMT -5 ashbash said:

I have to run to Hobby Lobby for a small thing of paint and I will have to say that to myself 100x times while Im there, its just as bad as Target for me! I walk in to buy one thing and $100 dollars later I leave the store

We're building our own upholstered headboard (thanks Pinterest) and went there Saturday for fabric....walked out with a ridiculous amount of fall decor on top of the fabric. I just can't resist "40% off"!

[mathistm]

budders I hope things get better! You know what's best for you and V. I hope you guys can get into a balance that works best for you both!

[tiffbot]

Sept 21, 2015 9:01:07 GMT -5 mrsmonogrammed said:

Sept 21, 2015 8:48:27 GMT -5 tiffbot said:

Hugs budders and everyone who needs one.

Last week we met a friend's 3 month old, today we are going to a friend's to meet her 2 week old, and I also have plans to go visit another friend and her one week old this week. Babiiiiiies!

Doesn't it make you realize how big our babies are getting?? We were at s family party yesterday and there is a baby 1m younger than DD and she was just so tiny looking! It's crazy how fast they grow!

Seriously though! One of our first visitors after having DD had her 4 month old with her and I was like 'noo don't remind me that they get so big so fast!' And now im the one bringing my giant grown up nearly 4 month old around to the new babies.
And same goes for DS's age group now. The friends I was hanging out with last week all have kids his age and we hung out frequently when they were babies, and now we have new babies again and his group is the 'big kids' running around and playing. We found that pretty surreal!

[clairencub]

budders you're doing great and I'm sending virtual high 5's for your awesome efforts.

For all the mamas that returned to work, how in the hell did you do it?!?! I know the question has been posed several times on the board in different threads but seriously, how did you manage it? I am returning to work on Thursday, I am so lucky that I work from home 100% and my SO has an extremely flexible job where he can watch the baby most days. I'm just really struggling with wrapping my head around the idea of making it through my day without consistent baby snuggles and "resting when the baby rests" i.e.-naps.

I get decent rest/sleep at night but just don't see the big picture of managing it all. It's quite intimidating. On top of it, I also am fearful that being a new mom will affect my overall work production. I have always been somewhat of a workaholic but I sincerely enjoyed not having to work during my leave. Please any words of wisdom or tips n' tricks to get through the first few days would be super encouraging/helpful. Thanks!

[mrsmonogrammed]

clairencub the only real advice I can give is to try and stay busy that first day...distraction made the time go faster and my emotions a little less well, emotional, during the day! You can get through it (no matter how intimidating!) and while it might not be a graceful transition, once you have your feet under you it'll be *fairly* smooth sailing:)

[ashbash]

Sept 21, 2015 9:47:58 GMT -5 @pcrunk said:

Sept 21, 2015 7:34:26 GMT -5 billyhorrible said:

(Hugs) This is part of the reason that breastfeeding has become. ..class-ist? Elite? Breastfeeding is so much harder when you work, and therefore "easier" the longer you can afford (the time or money) to avoid going back. You are not alone!

First, all the hugs budders. Mommying is hard work.

Second.. Seriously Billy? WTAF with that statement? It makes zero sense from so many different angles, and it is pretty mommy war fuming. It's also incredibly offensive. That's saying anyone who EBFs (or EPs) is somehow "Better than" those who formula feed. You can fuck right off with that shit.

I *think* what she was saying - correct if Im wrong- is that in America maternity leave is short compared to other parts of the developed world. So Moms have to go back at 3 ish months when their supply is just getting set and deal with pumping which is hard. Therefore they go to supplementing or FF because of the challenges that pumping and working/ commuting present. Which isnt a bad or less than choice but one that some moms feel forced upon them by the situation. Its one thing to make the choice for yourself and baby to FF and another to feel forced to do it by the situation.

I actually just watched a documentary about why the stats for BF and working Moms are what they are - commute times, lack of adequate pumping time/ place, time dedicated to cleaning, preparing and storing pumps and milk.

Okay hopefully that made sense, I dont think she was talking about FF in a bad way rather the whole pumping and working situation?

[alayne926]

HUGS budders, you're doing great!

I have zero desire to work today. DH was an ass lastnight (which I will talk about in the SO thread) and it just made my weekend end on a crappy note.

DD was so stinkin' cute this morning, it was really tough to leave her. I'm kind of glad she fell asleep on the way to daycare today, so didn't have to see that little smile and the big blue eyes wondering where mommy was going.

Back to my coffee....

[dmoney]

Sept 21, 2015 9:30:38 GMT -5 clairencub said:

budders you're doing great and I'm sending virtual high 5's for your awesome efforts.

For all the mamas that returned to work, how in the hell did you do it?!?! I know the question has been posed several times on the board in different threads but seriously, how did you manage it? I am returning to work on Thursday, I am so lucky that I work from home 100% and my SO has an extremely flexible job where he can watch the baby most days. I'm just really struggling with wrapping my head around the idea of making it through my day without consistent baby snuggles and "resting when the baby rests" i.e.-naps.

I get decent rest/sleep at night but just don't see the big picture of managing it all. It's quite intimidating. On top of it, I also am fearful that being a new mom will affect my overall work production. I have always been somewhat of a workaholic but I sincerely enjoyed not having to work during my leave. Please any words of wisdom or tips n' tricks to get through the first few days would be super encouraging/helpful. Thanks!

Its is 100% a trial an error time.  Its not easy but its not hard, I think working outside of the home makes it a bit easier (At least for me) because I am not temped to have the baby snuggles, or nap when she naps.  To make it easier on me, I have about 7 pictures on my desk of DD right behind my main monitor so that I can see her all day long.  I also get pictures throughout the day.  Then once I get home, she is "all mine" I get changed and snuggle with her until it is bed time.  Makes doing anything really hard and anything that I had planned on doing after work gets done at 10pm after we put her to bed for the night.  Just take it one day at a time, and just say to your self, at least im not starting on a Monday. it will be a short week for you!! Good luck and you can do it!

[Widget123]

Sept 21, 2015 9:30:38 GMT -5 clairencub said:

budders you're doing great and I'm sending virtual high 5's for your awesome efforts.

For all the mamas that returned to work, how in the hell did you do it?!?! I know the question has been posed several times on the board in different threads but seriously, how did you manage it? I am returning to work on Thursday, I am so lucky that I work from home 100% and my SO has an extremely flexible job where he can watch the baby most days. I'm just really struggling with wrapping my head around the idea of making it through my day without consistent baby snuggles and "resting when the baby rests" i.e.-naps.

I get decent rest/sleep at night but just don't see the big picture of managing it all. It's quite intimidating. On top of it, I also am fearful that being a new mom will affect my overall work production. I have always been somewhat of a workaholic but I sincerely enjoyed not having to work during my leave. Please any words of wisdom or tips n' tricks to get through the first few days would be super encouraging/helpful. Thanks!

Just hang in there and try to keep yourself as busy as possible.  Tell yourself, I am going to get X, Y, and Z done today and then do them.  Try to keep yourself accountable.  Working at home is super distracting for me, but when I am at the office I get really bored sometimes, so I tell myself I am going to get the most important tasks done then if I daydream a little bit for my sanity it is okay.

[dmoney]

I love DH to death and I know hes trying but at times I swear he doesnt freaking listen to a word I say. Daycare gives us 2 sheets for her crib, we have to wash them every week and take them back... I took her sheet back on Friday when i dropped her off. He is taking her in now, and i asked him to ask them if she needs anything... His response "what would she need"...mmm More diapers, extra changes of clothes, more wipes. I wanted to text him back come on use your brain. He also doesnt think about day to day things.. He asked me how many bottles do I need to take for her today...I love him but come on use your brain man!!

[alayne926]

Sept 21, 2015 11:06:22 GMT -5 dmoney said:

I love DH to death and I know hes trying but at times I swear he doesnt freaking listen to a word I say. Daycare gives us 2 sheets for her crib, we have to wash them every week and take them back... I took her sheet back on Friday when i dropped her off. He is taking her in now, and i asked him to ask them if she needs anything... His response "what would she need"...mmm More diapers, extra changes of clothes, more wipes. I wanted to text him back come on use your brain. He also doesnt think about day to day things.. He asked me how many bottles do I need to take for her today...I love him but come on use your brain man!!

DH does the same thing. So frustrating!

[dmoney]

Sept 21, 2015 11:14:42 GMT -5 alayne926 said:

Sept 21, 2015 11:06:22 GMT -5 dmoney said:

I love DH to death and I know hes trying but at times I swear he doesnt freaking listen to a word I say. Daycare gives us 2 sheets for her crib, we have to wash them every week and take them back... I took her sheet back on Friday when i dropped her off. He is taking her in now, and i asked him to ask them if she needs anything... His response "what would she need"...mmm More diapers, extra changes of clothes, more wipes. I wanted to text him back come on use your brain. He also doesnt think about day to day things.. He asked me how many bottles do I need to take for her today...I love him but come on use your brain man!!

DH does the same thing. So frustrating!

Hes a smart man...but come on!! How hard is it to figure out??  she eats every 3 hours... figure out how long she is at Daycare for and send the correct amount of bottles..jkefahngmkzfnhbkjeasngjksenblkja  

[billyhorrible]

Sept 21, 2015 9:47:58 GMT -5 @pcrunk said:

Second.. Seriously Billy? WTAF with that statement? It makes zero sense from so many different angles, and it is pretty mommy war fuming. It's also incredibly offensive. That's saying anyone who EBFs (or EPs) is somehow "Better than" those who formula feed. You can fuck right off with that shit.

Look, you're very vocal about your intense dislike for me.  And that's fine.  But don't let your personal vendetta interfere with your ability to use good ole comprehension.  I dare you to find a single time where I have said anything negative about formula feeding.  I don't play that game, never have. 

The fact of the matter is - anyone should be able to feed their child any way they want to.  And in this society, that isn't true. And a lot of it is due to socio-economic status.

Wealthier women, and/or higher educated women are able to make that choice.  They can choose to breastfeed because it's easier for them.  They don't have to struggle with their supply after going back to work.  They don't have to struggle with the pump and finding time while they're at work.  When they do work they have better facilities to enable them to pump and continue. Lactation consultants cost money, and not everyone can afford that.

Whereas women in lower socio-economic classes don't get that choice.  It's not about formula being bad - because it isn't.  But they don't get to decide whether they want to formula feed or breastfeed.  They don't have facilities to continue the nursing relationship when they go back to work, and not working isn't an option. Although breastpumps are provided by insurance and WIC promotes breastfeeding, they are also the single largest provider of formula in the country, and often it is easier for mothers on the WIC program to accept the free formula than find time to attend the breastfeeding class and support groups.


Look, this isn't some random theory I came up with.  It's been studied and published.  The CDC found in a 7 year study that the mother's poverty income ratio was positively correlated with breastfeeding. From a study published in "Social Science and Medicine":  "Low-income women face certain challenges in life that may act as barriers to making the decision to breastfeed their infants.  Of these barriers, the most obvious is the fact that many of these women must work in order to support themselves and their families.  Because breastfeeding is time consuming, may women feel as though they do not have the time to breastfeed or pump milk along with holding steady employment.  Some mothers feel that returning to work deprives them of the choice to breastfeed their infants.  In the words of a low-income mother, 'it is easy for women to breastfeed if they are financially secure and don't have to work'."  A study published in "Public Health and Nutrition" found women in "routine" jobs were 4 times less likely to continue breastfeeding past 1 month versus women in managerial positions. 


There's nothing wrong with formula, but it's naive to assume that everyone who is giving their child formula is doing so because that's their ideal situation. It's pretty clear from your vehemence that you formula feed.  I'm betting that you wouldn't be happy if tomorrow someone told you that for a reason out of your control you were no longer allowed to formula feed, so you better make breastfeeding work.  My guess is you'd be pretty upset.  It doesn't matter how anyone chooses to feed their child, but everyone should have the choice.

[dmoney]

Sept 21, 2015 11:23:14 GMT -5 @kej0004 said:

And ashbash is right, what billyhorrible said is true. It's much easier to prolong breastfeeding when you have an office job (generally higher paying than a manual labor/service job) or if your spouse makes enough money to enable you to stay home with the baby. So people of lower incomes generally can't BF as long.

Im sorry what???  This statement just rubs me the wrong way.. With insurance now, ANYONE who wants to breastfeed can.  Even if you dont have insurance you can go to a WIC office and I'm sure there are ways to get a pump.. Having an office job makes it a "BIT" easier at times because you can steal away to pump, but I wouldn't say lower income people cant BF as long... We introduced a bottled at 2 weeks. NO nipple confusions at all. DD Will take a bottle and the breast just fine.  But along the lines of pumping even if you are "just a waitress" you employer by LAW has to allow you to pump. I'm sorry but ones income does not play a role in being able to breastfeed vs have to formula feed. 

[mrsdee1982]

Sept 21, 2015 9:47:58 GMT -5 @pcrunk said:

Sept 21, 2015 7:34:26 GMT -5 billyhorrible said:

(Hugs) This is part of the reason that breastfeeding has become. ..class-ist? Elite? Breastfeeding is so much harder when you work, and therefore "easier" the longer you can afford (the time or money) to avoid going back. You are not alone!

First, all the hugs budders. Mommying is hard work.

Second.. Seriously Billy? WTAF with that statement? It makes zero sense from so many different angles, and it is pretty mommy war fuming. It's also incredibly offensive. That's saying anyone who EBFs (or EPs) is somehow "Better than" those who formula feed. You can fuck right off with that shit.

I am 99% certain that is not what Billy meant.  That's not what I took from her comment either.  I will agree with Billy.  It is so much harder to BF when you have to go back to work.  In my own personal experience, we dealt with a 9 day long nursing strike when I went back, which lead to me almost giving up.  I have to fit in 4 pump sessions a day, which is so hard.  And I constantly worry about my supply not being enough now that I am pumping so much during the day.  In fact, just this morning, at 4:45 am, when I was pumping for the first time today, I thought to myself "I really wish we had more money so I could stay home.  I don't know how I'm going to keep this up for the next 8 months to reach my goal of 1 year of BF".  

And I got to stay home for my babies first 3 months.  I imagine the struggle is even more intense for the moms who are forced to go back as little as 2 weeks after giving birth.  

[mrsmonogrammed]

Sept 21, 2015 11:42:14 GMT -5 dmoney said:

Sept 21, 2015 11:23:14 GMT -5 @kej0004 said:

And ashbash is right, what billyhorrible said is true. It's much easier to prolong breastfeeding when you have an office job (generally higher paying than a manual labor/service job) or if your spouse makes enough money to enable you to stay home with the baby. So people of lower incomes generally can't BF as long.

Im sorry what???  This statement just rubs me the wrong way.. With insurance now, ANYONE who wants to breastfeed can.  Even if you dont have insurance you can go to a WIC office and I'm sure there are ways to get a pump.. Having an office job makes it a "BIT" easier at times because you can steal away to pump, but I wouldn't say lower income people cant BF as long... We introduced a bottled at 2 weeks. NO nipple confusions at all. DD Will take a bottle and the breast just fine.  But along the lines of pumping even if you are "just a waitress" you employer by LAW has to allow you to pump. I'm sorry but ones income does not play a role in being able to breastfeed vs have to formula feed. 

I personally work in a WIC office, and while it may "rub you the wrong way" I talk to women everyday who would love to continue to breastfeed but feel like they can't because of their jobs, childcare, and for many other reasons. It IS easier to continue breastfeeding when you have actual support at work...they might be required by law to provide you time to pump, but they're not exactly going to encourage you to *for example* leave the table you're waitressing for 20 minutes to get it done.
If I were to pull numbers from my own caseload of WIC recipients there would be a higher formula to breast fed ratio. Which is one of the reasons WIC so highly praises mamas who (if they want to) breastfeed because they often have to put in extra work to make it happen!

With that said, I am 100% team Feed Your Baby no matter how you accomplish it!

[mrsdee1982]

Sept 21, 2015 11:42:14 GMT -5 dmoney said:

Im sorry what???  This statement just rubs me the wrong way.. With insurance now, ANYONE who wants to breastfeed can.  Even if you dont have insurance you can go to a WIC office and I'm sure there are ways to get a pump.. Having an office job makes it a "BIT" easier at times because you can steal away to pump, but I wouldn't say lower income people cant BF as long… (1)We introduced a bottled at 2 weeks. NO nipple confusions at all. DD Will take a bottle and the breast just fine.  (2)But along the lines of pumping even if you are "just a waitress" you employer by LAW has to allow you to pump. (3)I'm sorry but ones income does not play a role in being able to breastfeed vs have to formula feed. 

1) That's your experience.  Every baby is different.  We introduced a bottle at 3 1/2 weeks and DD did great switching back and forth…until I went back to work.  Then for 9 days straight, she 100% refused the boob.  Would scream and arch her back to get away from it.  It was the hardest 9 days of being a mom that I've gone through so far.  I legitimately almost gave up on BFing.  

2) I've been a waitress/bartender before.  I now work in an office job.  I can say that yes, working an office job makes pumping as often as I need to so that we don't have to supplement with formula (at this time) so much easier.  Yes, by law the employer has to provide you with the breaks to pump.  But a solid pumping session takes 20 minutes.  I currently need to pump every 2 hours.  So for a 6 hour shift, that's 3 times.  That means for 1 hour of my 6 hour shift, I would have been away from my customers and missing out on those tips.  I would have probably, in all honesty, only been able to keep that up for a month, maybe 2 tops.

3) There are so many extensive studies that prove this statement wrong.  I will just leave it at that.





ETA: I am team "A fed baby is the best baby".  It doesn't matter how they get fed.  Each mom has to do what is best for her specific situation.  

[mrsmonogrammed]

Sept 21, 2015 11:50:15 GMT -5 mrsdee1982 said:

Sept 21, 2015 9:47:58 GMT -5 @pcrunk said:

First, all the hugs budders. Mommying is hard work.

Second.. Seriously Billy? WTAF with that statement? It makes zero sense from so many different angles, and it is pretty mommy war fuming. It's also incredibly offensive. That's saying anyone who EBFs (or EPs) is somehow "Better than" those who formula feed. You can fuck right off with that shit.

I am 99% certain that is not what Billy meant.  That's not what I took from her comment either.  I will agree with Billy.  It is so much harder to BF when you have to go back to work.  In my own personal experience, we dealt with a 9 day long nursing strike when I went back, which lead to me almost giving up.  I have to fit in 4 pump sessions a day, which is so hard.  And I constantly worry about my supply not being enough now that I am pumping so much during the day.  In fact, just this morning, at 4:45 am, when I was pumping for the first time today, I thought to myself "I really wish we had more money so I could stay home.  I don't know how I'm going to keep this up for the next 8 months to reach my goal of 1 year of BF".  

And I got to stay home for my babies first 3 months.  I imagine the struggle is even more intense for the moms who are forced to go back as little as 2 weeks after giving birth.  

+1 to literally everything