TTCAL Check-In 10/13

[notagoddess]

The Trying to Conceive After a Loss thread is posted once a week (generally on Tuesday) for those of us who have unfortunately experienced a loss. No matter what type of loss you've experienced, from miscarriage to stillbirth to the loss of a child, it is heartbreaking. This thread is to help us commiserate, get support, and to try to navigate trying to conceive after a loss every week.

Out of respect to all the ladies here, please add a trigger warning if you decide to talk about any living children and please hide your signature if it contains pictures or tickers of babies or children. We also kindly ask for grads to refrain from commenting in this thread.

**If this is your first check-in, and you would like to provide a gtky loss history intro go for it. If not, no worries!**

How are you doing?

Status (TTA, TTC, Benched):

Diagnosis (if applicable):

Updates/questions:

Debbie downer (a place to vent):

GTKY: Besides your SO, who has been your biggest support in dealing with your loss?

[LadyNymeria]

How are you doing? I'm alright. **OPP mentioned** Went to a wedding Saturday night and sat at a table with a couple pregnant ladies. I was fine until the table's conversation turned to all about one of them. Even then I was mostly ok, just bummed because I should have been a 3rd pregnant person at the table.

Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTC, thinking I'm entering FW based on CM/CP.

Diagnosis (if applicable): n/a

Updates/questions: Nothing right now.

Debbie downer (a place to vent): Nothing other than the How are you doing above.

GTKY: Besides your SO, who has been your biggest support in dealing with your loss? My neighbor, who has gotten to be almost like a second mom to me. She had a loss between her 2 kids so she's been through it and has been great.

Also my really close friend - the one who got married Saturday. She asked me if I would be ok at the table I was at for the wedding or if I would prefer sitting at a different one. OPPs don't get to me as much anymore so I was perfectly ok sitting there, but the fact that she thought to ask if I'd be ok was huge to me. She's also been there any time I needed to talk about it.

[notagoddess]

How are you doing? I'm doing pretty well.

Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTC

Diagnosis (if applicable): Resected uterine septum

Updates/questions: I didn't get the job I had interviewed for, and I'm back to TTC. Although the job thing sucks, a large part of me is relieved that I don't have to TTA.

Debbie downer (a place to vent): None today.

GTKY: Besides your SO, who has been your biggest support in dealing with your loss? Most of my friends were very supportive right after the loss, but then didn't bring it up after the first month or two. My best friend sent me a mother's day card 6 months later. She tells me every time I talk to her that she's praying for me and MH. I appreciate her so much.

[pbandj714]

LadyNymeria, your friend sounds great! That was so thoughtful of her. She sounds like a keeper!

notagoddess, I'm sorry the job didn't pan out. But I'm so glad you're seeing the positive aspect in that you can keep TTC.


How are you doing? I'm doing okay. I'm doing much better now that I finally O'd on CD66. That was a mind fuck.

Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTC, 6DPO

Diagnosis (if applicable): none

Updates/questions: Nothing yet. In the TWW and hopeful!

Debbie downer (a place to vent): *OPP mentioned* There have been SO MANY pregnancy announcements from FB friends over the last month. I was feeling so down and out with this horribly long cycle and life felt so unfair. However, now that I did finally O, I am in a much better place mentally because now I actually have a chance.

GTKY: Besides your SO, who has been your biggest support in dealing with your loss?

My friend at work. We have truly become bffs, and she has been such a huge support. She lets me whine and bitch when I need to. Even though she has no experience with what I've been through, she asks me how I'm doing but doesn't press the issue if I'm not doing well. My opening up to her about my MC actually gave her the courage to open up to me about things she has been through that completely rocked her world. We have become such good support people for one another, and I'm so thankful!

[LadyNymeria]

Oct 13, 2015 9:49:59 GMT -5 pbandj714 said:

LadyNymeria, your friend sounds great! That was so thoughtful of her. She sounds like a keeper!

She is. We started working together a little over 7 years ago and even though she lives 6+ hours away now she's become one of my best friends. The middle of her reception she asked me how I was doing. Her wedding day! And she was checking on me.

[daystardreams]

Loss History: I'll try to do this briefly! We started TTC on 2/1/14. Got pregnant the first cycle (we must be so fertile! Lol, if only we knew then) Pregnancy was diagnosed as a blighted ovum at the first ultrasound and I had a D&C at the beginning of April. We then tried for seven cycles and had a chemical pregnancy on Christmas '14. After that, I thought maybe I was having some Anovulatory cycles, I was right and was diagnosed with PCOS. We tried for six more cycles but three were Anovulatory. I took Letrozole in May 2015 and had a low response to it so we upped the dose to 5 mg and I got pregnant that cycle. However, baby #3 got behind in growth and had a slow heartbeat. It passed away somewhere during week 8. I had a D&C and some testing that showed a genetically normal baby.

How are you doing?: I'm anxious to try again. I felt like we were so much closer last time and I'm actually really, really hopeful this time.

Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): We are technically NTNP this round but next cycle we'll start all the meds! All my tests have come back normal so far and we're just waiting on the SA from my husband.

Diagnosis (if applicable): PCOS

Updates/questions:
I read in my google searches that some REs prescribe all women with RPL baby aspirin so I think I'm going to ask my doctor about it...

Debbie downer (a place to vent):
-WARNING: Children mentioned-

My sister is dating this guy who has three children by two different women. One mother lets him see his son but the other mother doesn't let him see his two daughters.

My vent is more about my sister though, she was telling me how it wasn't his fault he hadn't seen his daughters in two years. I said he needed a lawyer and she said he paid $300 to a lawyer once and nothing happened so there was nothing more he could do...we kind of got into an argument about it.

I've paid well over $5,000 in the last two years to just get a chance to have a baby and she thinks $300 was a lot to spend on a chance to see two children who are already here? I guess she just doesn't understand.

GTKY: Besides your SO, who has been your biggest support in dealing with your loss?

Probably my mom. My two sisters and BFF have been there for me too but they offer lots of unhelpful help, like "You are worrying too much, I'm sure everything is fine" then when I tell them everything is NOT fine, they just kind of blow it off and start talking about next time or adopting. I like that my mom just listens, asks appropriate questions, and support. But I wanted to throw in that my DH is awesome! He always knows just what I need.

[daystardreams]

LadyNymeria Your close friend sounds so sweet to ask about the tables. I had a co-worker that was really good about stuff like that, she left for another job. I miss her!


notagoddess Sorry about the job

pbandj714 CD 66 sounds like forever, I would've been half insane! Good luck with the TWW though, FX for you!

danib I know how it feels when people act like it's a taboo subject. I love to talk about the short time I spent with my babies! I'm sorry for the lack of IRL support.

P.S. Sorry my post was SOOO long!

[doodler]

How are you doing? I'm ok. I have had higher anxiety in general this week and that leads me to bad places in my mind.

Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTC

Diagnosis (if applicable): N/A

Updates/questions: Now that we are back in the game to TTC, I am so nervous. I almost feel like I am afraid to have sex with DH this week because this could possibly happen all over again. I need to talk to him about it but it has been crazy and we haven't had much time the last few days.

Debbie downer (a place to vent): I saw this article about losses this week and it feels like I could have written it myself. Click me!. The morning I read the artlcle we were called into an emergency meeting at school. One of my coworkers lost her father and they wanted to let us know and to take up a collection to buy her some gift cards to local restaurants so she didn't have to cook. We do this whenever a coworker loses someone close to them. As we were sitting there I thought you know, it is crazy that I lost my baby and nobody knows. I'm not saying that I would have wanted a school meeting about it, but it seems crazy that this is such a hidden issue. I'm rambling, but basically I am trying to make the same point as the author of the article.

GTKY: Besides your SO, who has been your biggest support in dealing with your loss? I have a really good friend who battled infertility for years. She went through 7 IVF cycles, losses, and everything else that goes along with it. She did have her amazing son after her 2nd IVF. She has been my rock. She is far away, but she sent us food after my D&C. She says the exact right things to me at the right times and even now she checks in frequently to see how I am doing. At one point I broke down crying to my husband because I feel like I did NOT do the right things to support her during her losses. It is so hard to understand until you have been there. I wish I could rewind and be the kind of support system she has been for me.

[mosdub]

Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): Benched/tta

Diagnosis (if applicable): Partial Molar Pregnancy -- still waiting for hCG to drop to <5, last draw was at 10 so getting close.

Updates/questions: Next draw is on the week of October 26th. According to my mathy predictions I'll be at maybe 6 or so by then which isn't considered negative, but the following week I should be at under 5 (if it follows the same trend its been following)! I recently emailed Doctor Goldstein out of Boston (one of the leading doctors who specializes in molar pregnancies) with my numbers. He sent me a document saying that as long as my levels drop to <5 without chemo and without rising or plateauing that I could TTC 3 months after reaching "negative". This is awesome and scary. If (and that's a big if because who the fuck knows, right?) if I reach negative by November and stay negative for 3 months after that I COULD ttc in February/March - close to when I miscarried. My own doctor said 6-12 months from negative, but maybe I should show him the recommendation from the other doctors who are spearheading research in this area. Who would you listen to? The OB who initially was ready to send me home after the D&C without any follow up or the leading doctor in the field? I'm really really not one to go against doctors orders but...I just don't know. I'm also scared to TTC again. The thought of going to another ultrasound for a new pregnancy scares the shit out of me.

Debbie downer (a place to vent): I guess see above.

GTKY: Besides your SO, who has been your biggest support in dealing with your loss? You guys. And my cousin + 1 close friend. I talk to them perhaps too much about it. I'm trying to not talk about it as much, especially since I won't have any news about a new hCG number for a few weeks now.

[mosdub]

pbandj714 YAY FOR O!!!! Crossing my fingers for you. It's nice to at least have hope

[LadyNymeria]

mosdub - I'd definitely be putting my trust in one of the top doctors in that field over a dr who almost didn't do any follow-up! Getting a second opinion is not the same as going against dr's orders IMO. Plus it doesn't hurt to mention to your OB what the specialist told you. 3 months vs 6-12 months is a big difference so I would definitely bring it up to your OB!

Hugs for that last sentence in your update section. Completely normal feeling, but it definitely sucks to have thoughts like that in your/our head(s).

[akraus2015]

pbandj714, hooray for finally ovulating!!
mosdub, I say trust your gut, and seeking a second opinion is totally okay.
daystardreams, I'm sorry to see you here, and sorry that you're struggling with your sister's situation.

How are you doing? Better this week than last week, which is a start.

Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTC

Diagnosis (if applicable): N/A

Updates/questions: It's been just over a week since I sought help for my increasing depression, anxiety, and grief, and I'm happy to say that I'm feeling a little bit better already! I have finally accepted my leave of absence from work, and plan to try and make the best out of this month off by exercising, spending time with friends and family, and getting back to a healthy place.

Debbie downer (a place to vent): I wander into the grad check-in every now and then, even though I know I'm not in a place to be reading that thread right now. I really need to be better about not torturing myself that way.

GTKY: Besides your SO, who has been your biggest support in dealing with your loss? My friend and co-worker, Jennifer, who is so kind and compassionate. She's made such an effort to check in on me frequently since my loss, and has called several times a week since I've been off work, just to check in or see if I want to meet for coffee. Also, she says the best prayers. She's way better at praying than I am.

[pbandj714]

akraus2015, I am sooo happy to hear that you're already starting to feel better! It takes a lot of courage to seek help, but I'm sure you'll be so glad you did.

And I don't blame you re: the grad thread. I look, too. Sometimes it makes me sad, but it's also comforting to see others that were once where I am now having healthy pregnancies.

[notagoddess]

akraus2015, I've been thinking of you. I'm glad you're starting to feel a bit better and relaxing about the leave of absence. Depression is a serious issue and it's good you and your care team are treating it as such.

mosdub, that is an exciting update! I would trust the expert, but cue your OB in on the communication.

[akraus2015]

Oct 13, 2015 16:57:57 GMT -5 pbandj714 said:

akraus2015, I am sooo happy to hear that you're already starting to feel better! It takes a lot of courage to seek help, but I'm sure you'll be so glad you did.

And I don't blame you re: the grad thread. I look, too. Sometimes it makes me sad, but it's also comforting to see others that were once where I am now having healthy pregnancies.

This is the part that I need to remember.  That just because we experienced a loss doesn't mean that we won't have a beautiful, healthy rainbow baby sometime soon.

[akraus2015]

Oct 13, 2015 16:58:43 GMT -5 notagoddess said:

akraus2015, I've been thinking of you. I'm glad you're starting to feel a bit better and relaxing about the leave of absence. Depression is a serious issue and it's good you and your care team are treating it as such.

mosdub, that is an exciting update! I would trust the expert, but cue your OB in on the communication.

Thank you so much for thinking of me; it makes me smile to know that.  

[kayladawn91]

How are you doing? I'm alright

Status: TTC

Diagnosis: n/a

Updates/questions: Pretty sure AF will be here tomorrow and we'll be on to cycle 6 AL.

Debbie Downer: Not right now. Just bummed with the bad timing this cycle.

GTKY: Honestly, no one IRL really gives me support except for H. My sister and one of my friends know about my loss, but neither ever mention it or anything. And they don't fully understand since they've never had anything like that happen.

[mosdub]

akraus2015 So happy to hear you're feeling better. I'm glad you're able to accept and try to make use of your leave.

[notagoddess]

kayladawn91, it's hard to have good timing with long/irregular cycles. I'm sorry your sister and friend don't think to offer more support.

danib, also sorry about the lack of support.

I'm glad we all have each other on here.

[vancitygirl]

LadyNymeria it's never easy sitting next to other people who are knocked up. I feel your pain. 
notagoddess sorry you didn't get the job, but I'm glad you can see the silver lining!
pbandj714 I also feel like there's a tonne of pregnancy announcements lately. Sometimes, for me, it's hard not to feel resentful/bitter about it. 
danib my husband and I also thought about not actively TTC and instead NTNP...but it's a hard thing to adjust to. Makes me feel like I've "given up" even though that's not the case. For now we haven't gone that route. 
daystardreams families are always the hardest to deal with. Hugs. 
doodler I get that fear a lot too. Big hugs. 
mosdub the clinic where I get sent for ultrasounds now just has a bad association for me, so I can totally relate. I had to go there after my natural MC to check that everything was gone and it was the worst. Didn't help that it was the LONGEST appointment ever. 
akraus2015 glad you are working on a treatment plan!
kayladawn91 sorry about the bad timing


How are you doing? Besides being sick for now over a week...I'm just tired and cranky

Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): TTC but I've been doing a terrible job of charting especially with my non-stop fevers this last week so I used OPKs and I find them really hard to read--like they are dark or light or medium? argh

Diagnosis (if applicable): nothing

Updates/questions: I felt like my hormones were out of whack because I couldn't lose the weight I'd gained while pregnant 6 months ago and was very frustrated. I talked to a naturopath and I started taking Maca root supplements that are supposed to normalize hormones (and also are known to help with fertility). I already am feeling better and am down 4 pounds (this is in a week and a half). Hopefully the fertility boosting part will kick in too. *Fingers crossed*

Debbie downer (a place to vent): End of next month is my EDD and I keep freaking out about not being pregnant by then. I get sad thinking about what could have been...and frustrated that it's not happening yet. 

GTKY: Besides your SO, who has been your biggest support in dealing with your loss? Some of my co-workers have been amazing for understanding the situation. They are also who I turn to when my crazy family says something completely insensitive (ex/ "Just don't be so scared it's not a big deal. Once you stop being scared you'll get pregnant again"). 

[Deleted]

akraus2015 im glad youre finding some time for self care - do you have an outlet to talk about your loss? I started seeing a therapist last week and it's been a great support.

How are you doing? Im okay. It was thanksgiving yesterday so I really forced myself to reflect on what Im thankful for. Loss really distracts from the fact that my heart is still completely full. I have a good support network around me.

Status: TTA

Diagnosis: None as of yet, I've had 2 losses this year but no testing as of yet. I was given the prometrium rx on the "may help cant hurt basis" so Im willing to try that out.

Updates/questions: Did a final beta today, got a + frer on sunday but it's since gone negative as of this morning. I've mentioned in other threads there was some misunderstanding and we had unprotected sex so im following the possibility of that becoming something. Once AF shows up we'll be tta until december.

Debbie Downer: I work at a crisis unit - 16 patients to 1 nurse the most prominent issues are suicidal thoughts/attempts. A lot of addictions and homelessness and clients with multiple kids in care. I've barely gotten through my shifts the last 3 weeeks. Im switching to a .7 position as of nov 1 so im hoping this gives me a better work/life balance. I need some yoga in my life.

GTKY:  H has been really disconnected, not wanting to even talk of the loss. Sometimes Im grateful for his optimism of "we'll try again" other times I just want to be sad, dammit. I have a close group of forum friends who had flowers at my doorstep the morning after all of my losses (including my grandfather) this year.


eta: missed deleting pp response

[mosdub]

@jennatles your job sounds so stressful, I can't believe I complain about mine sometimes Hopefully the new position helps alleviate some stress. I had to tell H "I'm sad tonight and that's okay. I just need to be sad, but I'll be okay." I think it's hard for SO's to see us sad. While it is good to be reminded of the positive things you ARE allowed to be sad sometimes, dammit!

[Deleted]

Oct 13, 2015 20:24:26 GMT -5 mosdub said:

@jennatles your job sounds so stressful, I can't believe I complain about mine sometimes Hopefully the new position helps alleviate some stress. I had to tell H "I'm sad tonight and that's okay. I just need to be sad, but I'll be okay." I think it's hard for SO's to see us sad. While it is good to be reminded of the positive things you ARE allowed to be sad sometimes, dammit!

Its mostly just politics stuff, putting staff and clients in unsafe situation ie alcohol withdrawal, homicidal clients, suicidial clts who adminsiter whatever f dose of insulin they want. The RPL (and the triggers at work) was the final push to look for another job. Though still crisis services I'll be in a facility with psychiatrist, social workers and SECURITY.

[mosdub]

vancitygirl I'm so far off from any ultrasound but even thinking about walking in the clinic makes me choke up. It's just association - hopefully I'll have a positive association with it one day.

Glad your maca root is helping you out!

By the way, " (ex/ "Just don't be so scared it's not a big deal. Once you stop being scared you'll get pregnant again"). " --- that is SO SUPER MEGA SHITTY. I'm so sorry someone was dumb and insensitive enough to say that to you. As if everything were that fucking easy.

[akraus2015]

Oct 13, 2015 20:11:11 GMT -5 @jennatles said:

akraus2015 im glad youre finding some time for self care - do you have an outlet to talk about your loss? I started seeing a therapist last week and it's been a great support.

I do!  I have a girl I had been seeing last year who I have started seeing twice a week.  She's awesome.

[Deleted]

Oct 13, 2015 16:12:23 GMT -5 mosdub said:

Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): Benched/tta

Diagnosis (if applicable): Partial Molar Pregnancy -- still waiting for hCG to drop to <5, last draw was at 10 so getting close.

Updates/questions: Next draw is on the week of October 26th. According to my mathy predictions I'll be at maybe 6 or so by then which isn't considered negative, but the following week I should be at under 5 (if it follows the same trend its been following)! I recently emailed Doctor Goldstein out of Boston (one of the leading doctors who specializes in molar pregnancies) with my numbers. He sent me a document saying that as long as my levels drop to <5 without chemo and without rising or plateauing that I could TTC 3 months after reaching "negative". This is awesome and scary. If (and that's a big if because who the fuck knows, right?) if I reach negative by November and stay negative for 3 months after that I COULD ttc in February/March - close to when I miscarried. My own doctor said 6-12 months from negative, but maybe I should show him the recommendation from the other doctors who are spearheading research in this area. Who would you listen to? The OB who initially was ready to send me home after the D&C without any follow up or the leading doctor in the field? I'm really really not one to go against doctors orders but...I just don't know. I'm also scared to TTC again. The thought of going to another ultrasound for a new pregnancy scares the shit out of me.

Debbie downer (a place to vent): I guess see above.

GTKY: Besides your SO, who has been your biggest support in dealing with your loss? You guys. And my cousin + 1 close friend. I talk to them perhaps too much about it. I'm trying to not talk about it as much, especially since I won't have any news about a new hCG number for a few weeks now.

This is a tough place to be in. I would also go with specialized advice. Do you have a longer hx with the OB that did your d&c. I would trust your gut and even if you're in the physical space to start ttc, be mindful of where your heart is at. Is it possible to see a specialist? Do you think the absentmindedness of the ob who sent you home was a fluke or are they likely to be that careless (for lack of a better word) in future pregnancies?

[mosdub]

Oct 13, 2015 20:34:25 GMT -5 @jennatles said:

Oct 13, 2015 16:12:23 GMT -5 mosdub said:

Status (TTA, TTC, Benched): Benched/tta

Diagnosis (if applicable): Partial Molar Pregnancy -- still waiting for hCG to drop to <5, last draw was at 10 so getting close.

Updates/questions: Next draw is on the week of October 26th. According to my mathy predictions I'll be at maybe 6 or so by then which isn't considered negative, but the following week I should be at under 5 (if it follows the same trend its been following)! I recently emailed Doctor Goldstein out of Boston (one of the leading doctors who specializes in molar pregnancies) with my numbers. He sent me a document saying that as long as my levels drop to <5 without chemo and without rising or plateauing that I could TTC 3 months after reaching "negative". This is awesome and scary. If (and that's a big if because who the fuck knows, right?) if I reach negative by November and stay negative for 3 months after that I COULD ttc in February/March - close to when I miscarried. My own doctor said 6-12 months from negative, but maybe I should show him the recommendation from the other doctors who are spearheading research in this area. Who would you listen to? The OB who initially was ready to send me home after the D&C without any follow up or the leading doctor in the field? I'm really really not one to go against doctors orders but...I just don't know. I'm also scared to TTC again. The thought of going to another ultrasound for a new pregnancy scares the shit out of me.

Debbie downer (a place to vent): I guess see above.

GTKY: Besides your SO, who has been your biggest support in dealing with your loss? You guys. And my cousin + 1 close friend. I talk to them perhaps too much about it. I'm trying to not talk about it as much, especially since I won't have any news about a new hCG number for a few weeks now.

This is a tough place to be in. I would also go with specialized advice. Do you have a longer hx with the OB that did your d&c. I would trust your gut and even if you're in the physical space to start ttc, be mindful of where your heart is at. Is it possible to see a specialist? Do you think the absentmindedness of the ob who sent you home was a fluke or are they likely to be that careless (for lack of a better word) in future pregnancies?

The OB who did my D&C is the one who I had since getting pregnant.  There aren't any molar pregnancy specialists near me that I'm aware of, but I know he has since done his research.  I think he forgot the protocol and when I asked him about it he realized he needed to brush up on it.  To be fair, this is not a common thing.  He said in 20 years he has only seen 5 of these. I like my doctor and I do think that if I approached him with the research he would support me.  

As for physically ready vs. emotionally ready... yeah that's something I need to start dealing with.  I've been so completely obsessed with my physical recovery that I haven't really allowed myself to imagine TTC or being pregnant again.  I'm ready for a healthy baby and healthy pregnancy...but I realize there are no guarantees that I won't face more losses.  When do you know you're emotionally healed?  When do you know you're ready?  (Rhetorical questions, I don't expect anyone to be able to answer those for me). 

[doodler]

mosdub big hugs lady. I am in the same mindset as you re: trying again. When I think about being pregnant and walking in for that first appointment it feels like someone is squeezing my heart. Knowing myself, I don't think that will ever change no matter how much time passes. I will always be terrified knowing that it could happen again.

akraus2015 glad to hear you are feeling a little bit better. Take it easy this week. My anxiety is always better when I am exercising regularly so hopefully that helps you too.

@jennatles thank you for doing such an important job. I can't imagine the stress levels.

daystardreams I am sure the situation with your sister is frustrating. I have a kind of similar situation with my BIL, except that he is the deadbeat Dad. Until my recent loss, I would have said that dealing with BIL and navigating the situation to try to see my nephew was the most stressful thing in my life.

danib I feel the same way about my support system. With the exception of my best friend, everyone else just acts like the loss never happened. Even DH. He's not a talker, especially about feelings so I understand, but sometimes I Iook at him and wonder how he holds it together so well. The other day I asked him about it and he told me most of the time he is ok, but when he thinks about what would be happening if I was still pregnant he gets sad. I don't want him to suffer but it is nice to know he is there with me feeling some of the same things.

[daystardreams]

doodler Unfortunately I know that struggle too except with my own brother. I fought hard at first as they broke up around my nephew's birth but I just couldn't get through to my nephew's mother. My nephew is now four and I've only seen him three times since his first birthday. She was much more reasonable toward me until my brother got a girlfriend and then she cut all ties. It really sucks when all you want to do is love a child and people let their selfishness get in the way.

[doodler]

***Children mentioned***
daystardreams I am sorry. My nephew was born 4 weeks after my son. They live 10 minutes away and his mother does not work. These boys should be the best of friends. She does come to our home to visit once every 6 months or so. but from 6 months to 18 months we didn't see him at all. I honestly think the only reason she continues to come around is because her son and mine are so close in age and so they play the whole time. Otherwise I doubt she would let us see him. It is so hard to be cut off from a child when you love them and just want to be supportive. We have cut off BIL because of his antics and she knows that. Some days I get upset and then other days I try to put myself in her shoes. BIL was freaking awful to her and if it was me would I want to be around his family? It is such a hard situation. Ultimately it is the child who is suffering because there is an entire side of the family(minus his father) who just want to love him and he barely knows us.