I'm planning to use my credit card to buy food for lunch today. DH is super frugal, and I feel guilt tripped for going out to eat more than once for lunch during the week. I typically use my credit card at least twice a week for food, just so I don't have to hear anything about my spending from him. that's the only think I use my CC for, but he thinks I'm not using it at all..
We should probably have another conversation about spending but I honestly just don't have the energy for it right now. This secrecy is easier to me.
What's going to happen when it comes time to pay the bill?
A set amount of "free" no questions asked money works well for us.
I'm planning to use my credit card to buy food for lunch today. DH is super frugal, and I feel guilt tripped for going out to eat more than once for lunch during the week. I typically use my credit card at least twice a week for food, just so I don't have to hear anything about my spending from him. that's the only think I use my CC for, but he thinks I'm not using it at all..
We should probably have another conversation about spending but I honestly just don't have the energy for it right now. This secrecy is easier to me.
there is a difference between frugal and controlling. I'm assuming you are an adult and therefore capable of making your own decisions? I'd sit him down and tell him what's what. Not in an "asking for permission" type of way, but in a "this is my choice as an adult" manner. Assuming you aren't running yourself into the ground financially, this shit isn't his call.
DH and I bicker about money stuff a good amount. I grew up with a lot more money than him, so we have a very different view on what is and is not an acceptable use of money. We've spent years working toward a middle ground, and we're getting there, but I've always made it clear that I won't tolerate him thinking he can control how I spend our money, as long as all essentials and other obligations are covered.
Yea I hear you. We have a very healthy relationship for the most part but we do struggle with the money aspect at times. We also do have enough to cover all bills, etc. so it's not about me spending money we absolutely need to be saving.
I like other posters suggestions about putting a set allotment to spend how we want. We do hat to some degree and I struggle with going over a little bit each week (hence my CC use) so I think maybe we just need to evaluate that amount.
Post by helenahhandbasket on Oct 23, 2015 8:36:02 GMT -5
This is embarrassing, but here goes.
A few weeks ago, I was messing around on Facebook. I clicked a link to a wedding giveaway site (I think it's called wedding vibe, or something equally cheesy).
I wound up creating an account, along with a fake wedding date and entered a bunch of sweepstakes for whatever was available. Just for fun.
I won a $2500 wedding videography package. For a wedding that is not happening. I'm not engaged. Hell, I'm not even technically divorced yet.
Post by northernlghts on Oct 23, 2015 8:38:38 GMT -5
I just got the approved rate for a new job contract I have a phone screening for. While the job does sound interesting, I'm a little more excited at what they'll pay me to do it.
I bought a LBD at a trunk sale a few weeks ago, with the intent of wearing to an evening work event for H. The dress was supposed to have a belt, but it didn't. I was unable to procure a belt prior to the event, and I hated the idea of cutting off the belt loops because I wanted to belt it when I found one, but I didn't want to go with empty belt loops, so I borrowed a belt from one of my big kid's dresses and wore that.
Post by Cherhorowitz on Oct 23, 2015 8:40:10 GMT -5
helenahhandbasket that is amazing. A few years before I was engaged, I won a wedding registry contest where you would get $1000 of stuff off your registry. I wasn't engaged and, like you, I was just dicking around online. They offered to send me a check for $1000, I just had to pay taxes on it. Would they do that for you?
Otherwise, time to freak out your new boyfriend and tell him you hired a videographer to make a montage of the two of you.
Post by foolofatook on Oct 23, 2015 8:41:32 GMT -5
DH is coming home today! (YAYYYYYY!)
I am either going to run around the entire house and make sure it's absolutely fucking perfect so that he can believe I've had my shit together OR leave it as is and let him see how I did not actually have my shit together.
helenahhandbasket that is amazing. A few years before I was engaged, I won a wedding registry contest where you would get $1000 of stuff off your registry. I wasn't engaged and, like you, I was just dicking around online. They offered to send me a check for $1000, I just had to pay taxes on it. Would they do that for you?
Otherwise, time to freak out your new boyfriend and tell him you hired a videographer to make a montage of the two of you.
Omg, that would be great, but no- it looks like I have to claim the prize as a credit to one of the vendors local to me.
I thought about just laying out a tux for him and saying, "hey, let's hang on on the beach, frolicking. No, pay no attention to the man following us with the video equipment."
It does remind me that I have a coworker whose wife is the biggest controlling tight wad ever. She worships Dave Ramsey. Anyway, she is a controller at a very large company and he is a fucking engineer, so they probably make over $200k combined.
Yet he has to save his allowance month to month to work on his project car. Like he gets a set amount of money and no matter what can't buy things unless he has saved up.
They also have no credit cards. None.
well according to my MIL they are doing it right because when they retire they will have all the monies and have such a nice life and it was worth being the stingiest parents ever on Earth for the entirety of your child's life at home......
/bitter.
I would think that by the time they're ready to retire, they're also divorced...
---- 39 years old, MH is 43 TTC since 2010; Dx Unexplained Infertility; possible male factor 6 IUIs, 1 IVF, 2 FETs, 1 mmc, 1 CP Started Adoption process Feb 2015, officially waiting July 2015
---- 39 years old, MH is 43 TTC since 2010; Dx Unexplained Infertility; possible male factor 6 IUIs, 1 IVF, 2 FETs, 1 mmc, 1 CP Started Adoption process Feb 2015, officially waiting July 2015
I'm in a personal downward spiral and I know it and I've taken no steps remedy the situation. I'm too scared.
I'm sorry, that's a really big deal, and I don't mean to intrude. I mean that asking for help means potentially turning the spiral around, but I know that asking for help often means identifying the issues and risking making them real by saying them out loud.
I feel like MH and I have no sex life. I'm not sure how to fix it.
Commiseration tit. We haven't had sex since our daughter was born eight weeks ago. We adopted.
The adoption part doesn't make it any different. The newborn stage is hell. You can barely get showered, much less have sex, much less *enjoy* having sex.
You're going to have to be like all other new moms: have a glass of wine and fake it until you make it.
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