I guess I don't see how you overspend and don't know it? I think you do know it but you are pushing forward and mentally blocking the other part out.
eh. I haven't figured out our new expenses and was spending based on our old ones. Now that things are settling (no more deposits on new accounts, set up fees, etc) I realize we don't have as much discretionary as I thought.
I know Larry happened. Please do not try to convince me otherwise. Please don't talk to me about coffee. I don't drink it. I don't caffeine. When I state my opinion, that is me chiming in on a topic. This is not me saying you suck at life if you do or feel differently. If I want to say that, I will. If I want to speak on you, I will.
I guess I don't see how you overspend and don't know it? I think you do know it but you are pushing forward and mentally blocking the other part out.
In our case it's because we have a joint account and don't check it every day. Or tell each other every time we buy something. So I know there's enough for me to get groceries and DH knows there's enough for him to fill up the car but there isn't enough for us to do both but that's what happens.
I would love to shower. I'm just not comfortable leaving the baby unattended while I do it and DH hasn't been very available to take her.
I have changed my underwear since Tuesday. So clean unders but dirty bum I guess.
Do you have a bouncer, rock n play or something like that you can put in the bathroom when you are showering? This is how I showered on maternity leave when my husband wasn't home.
I have an RNP but it doesn't fit in my tiny ass bathroom. I have tried.
I motion to disban FFFC threads indefinitely. They suck. I have to troll the month boards to get a good read. I am not saying it is anyone's fault. Just that, this is pitiful.
I know Larry happened. Please do not try to convince me otherwise. Please don't talk to me about coffee. I don't drink it. I don't caffeine. When I state my opinion, that is me chiming in on a topic. This is not me saying you suck at life if you do or feel differently. If I want to say that, I will. If I want to speak on you, I will.
Do you have a bouncer, rock n play or something like that you can put in the bathroom when you are showering? This is how I showered on maternity leave when my husband wasn't home.
I have an RNP but it doesn't fit in my tiny ass bathroom. I have tried.
To prior question, am a FTM.
Leave the bathroom door open and put the RNP right outside the doorway.
Trolling Beyonce is my fave because she could shit on the floor like that Flavor of Love girl and people would WK her. "That floor should be honored Queen Bey shit on it. I wish she would shit on me." - @arielmermaid
We over drafted our account this week (got paid today) but H still wants to go out to dinner tonight. He said "what's the point of working this hard if I don't get to do anything?"
In reality I've been overspending without realizing it.
The "point" is feed and clothe your family while providing a roof over their heads. Everything else comes AFTER that. Tell your husband to grow the fuck up.
He knows that. He's working a second job for extra money, that's what he means. Trust me, he is the frugal one in our relationship.
I guess I don't see how you overspend and don't know it? I think you do know it but you are pushing forward and mentally blocking the other part out.
In our case it's because we have a joint account and don't check it every day. Or tell each other every time we buy something. So I know there's enough for me to get groceries and DH knows there's enough for him to fill up the car but there isn't enough for us to do both but that's what happens.
I know Larry happened. Please do not try to convince me otherwise. Please don't talk to me about coffee. I don't drink it. I don't caffeine. When I state my opinion, that is me chiming in on a topic. This is not me saying you suck at life if you do or feel differently. If I want to say that, I will. If I want to speak on you, I will.
I know Larry happened. Please do not try to convince me otherwise. Please don't talk to me about coffee. I don't drink it. I don't caffeine. When I state my opinion, that is me chiming in on a topic. This is not me saying you suck at life if you do or feel differently. If I want to say that, I will. If I want to speak on you, I will.
I mean I love you HelloSweetie but this is an ongoing thing for you. You need to have a come to jesus talk with yourself and your husband. Sit down and make a plan. Maybe use the envelope system or something? Clearly what you are doing is not working.
Also if I was consistently overdrafting I would sell my carriers except one and deal.
truly this was a reality check for me. The move was a huge expense that we are still figuring out but we used to have savings to cover if we went over. Now we don't and I really want that to never happen again.
I need someone to pay my Hulu. I still don't have my new debit card so they could not charge me. I can't watch anything so I am stuck here reading this shit.
I know Larry happened. Please do not try to convince me otherwise. Please don't talk to me about coffee. I don't drink it. I don't caffeine. When I state my opinion, that is me chiming in on a topic. This is not me saying you suck at life if you do or feel differently. If I want to say that, I will. If I want to speak on you, I will.
I need someone to pay my Hulu. I still don't have my new debit card so they could not charge me. I can't watch anything so I am stuck here reading this shit.
Post by helenahhandbasket on Oct 23, 2015 9:50:15 GMT -5
Lol to us all saying the same thing again.
I get it. I was a nervous new mom. But you have to take care of yourself.
FFFC, and OP with the unwashed bum, I'm not really talking about you here, but it sort of reminded me of this.
I'm really sick of the mommy martyr crap. Really. It's so old. I'm so tired of feeling like I have to commiserate with women about not getting enough sleep, not taking care of myself, eating cold dinners, walking around smelling like baby barf etc.
I get enough sleep because I made sure my kid slept. That was a priority to me.
I ate my dinner hot because I let my kid cry for a few minutes before I picked her up.
I showered every day while on mat leave because feeling clean helped me to feel good.
It is very hard to take care of a baby if you don't take care of yourself.
The changing of the underwear but not washing your bits thing astounds me.
Eh. I don't shower everyday. I work and live in climate controlled buildings and it's fall. I'm not getting sweaty and I hate showering when the house is cold.
Maybe you just don't feel you need to and that's ok.
I feel that after peeing all through the day and maybe having taken a shit here and there, I like to wash myself. I like to wash the lady bits should we spontaneously decide to have sex. Or should I be awaken in my sleep by oral sex. I also like to wash my arm pits regularly and under my tits. It really has nothing to do with whether or not I have sweated. I don't like feeling "not so fresh." So I may not take a full bath or shower daily but trust even without electricity in a natural disaster, my splits gets freshened up.
I know Larry happened. Please do not try to convince me otherwise. Please don't talk to me about coffee. I don't drink it. I don't caffeine. When I state my opinion, that is me chiming in on a topic. This is not me saying you suck at life if you do or feel differently. If I want to say that, I will. If I want to speak on you, I will.
I feel like maybe we should replace FFFC with CTJFridays and we can just tell each other what we think.
I've been struggling with how, if at all, to address some of the shit people post about it. There are many sides to the situations. Technically I should MYOB, but it's posted on a public message board and people therefore open things up to comment. And I don't want this to be a really inhospitable place, which I feel like the CTJ thread could create.
I also know I have thicker skin than many and could handle a lot of shit being shoveled in my direction and many other people just aren't interested in the experience.
I mean, in theory I love it, but I'd get so defensive so fucking fast if someone named me.
If we did it, we need a safe word that indicates "I am entirely not emotionally stable enough for this shit so don't."
I was much more worried about my newborn being "near" all the time for showering/using the bathroom or whatever the first time around
Second time around? Strap in the RnP or lay in the crib, crying or not and just go get it done. Aint nobody got time. She can survive 5-10 min of fussing so I can not go insane
Yesterday, I put the baby in the RNP and showered while he cried. He's no worse for the wear. Babies cry about everything, literally, so I can't be putting my life on hold for that.
On this point, Yesterday I went to dinner with my sister and left H with the baby. Right when I got home baby was screaming in the rock n play. H was was all I just went to pee and put on PJs and afraid I would think badly of his ability to care for the LO. I was like, dude I get it, it is ok. I also had a nice buzz from my double margarita.
The changing of the underwear but not washing your bits thing astounds me.
Eh. I don't shower everyday. I work and live in climate controlled buildings and it's fall. I'm not getting sweaty and I hate showering when the house is cold.
I just don't really get putting on clean underwear to not clean ass. I know, it's just me.
I know Larry happened. Please do not try to convince me otherwise. Please don't talk to me about coffee. I don't drink it. I don't caffeine. When I state my opinion, that is me chiming in on a topic. This is not me saying you suck at life if you do or feel differently. If I want to say that, I will. If I want to speak on you, I will.
When you're in the thick of something new, I know it feels endless and insurmountable. But it's not. Everything can become better. You have to work at it. Good stuff never comes easy.
In our case it's because we have a joint account and don't check it every day. Or tell each other every time we buy something. So I know there's enough for me to get groceries and DH knows there's enough for him to fill up the car but there isn't enough for us to do both but that's what happens.
But it isn't up to the bank to tell you. I check our balance every night or other night and then tell dh "this is what we have to spend this week. What do you need? What do I need." Not saying we've never over drafted but it isn't a regular occurrence and I always know what's there to spend.
We actually don't overdraft. We just suddenly realize we have like $4.37 and a week until payday.
It's not required for the bank to tell us. But when they advertise a nifty feature to send you email reminders whenever you want, it would be nice for them to actually work.
But yes, the big thing is communication. I lived alone for so many years that it's still a major adjustment to need to think about a second person using the account.
I get it. I was a nervous new mom. But you have to take care of yourself.
FFFC, and OP with the unwashed bum, I'm not really talking about you here, but it sort of reminded me of this.
I'm really sick of the mommy martyr crap. Really. It's so old. I'm so tired of feeling like I have to commiserate with women about not getting enough sleep, not taking care of myself, eating cold dinners, walking around smelling like baby barf etc.
I get enough sleep because I made sure my kid slept. That was a priority to me.
I ate my dinner hot because I let my kid cry for a few minutes before I picked her up.
I showered every day while on mat leave because feeling clean helped me to feel good.
It is very hard to take care of a baby if you don't take care of yourself.
I'm with you on everything except the sleep thing. Because before 4 or 5 months, it's really out of most of your control. Newborns are the worst.
I showered every single day since Baby #1 showed up. My daily shower is a hygiene need I'm not sacrificing. Sometimes she cried for the 5-10 minutes it took me . Clearly we all lived. Better than me spending 24 hours pissed off that I feel dirty and like I can't meet my own basic needs.
Honestly.
I'm just so over it. I feel almost like I have to lie and be like "oh yeah, I didn't shower for 4 days and walked around with doodoo on my pants" or everyone will think I don't love my baby.
When the reality is I love my baby so much, she deserves a mom that is in well rested, well fed and in a pretty damn good mood most of the time.
Exactly like @ctg30 said - I want my friends to tell me if they see me fucking up or they feel I need to change something or if I need to do better. This to me is friendship. I can disagree with you and love you. I can not like something you are doing but love you through it. I don't want a bitch around me just telling me why they think I want to hear.
I know Larry happened. Please do not try to convince me otherwise. Please don't talk to me about coffee. I don't drink it. I don't caffeine. When I state my opinion, that is me chiming in on a topic. This is not me saying you suck at life if you do or feel differently. If I want to say that, I will. If I want to speak on you, I will.
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