Let's Confess

[Deleted]

Oct 30, 2015 19:45:46 GMT -5 starbuck27 said:

Oct 30, 2015 19:43:30 GMT -5 RajahMD said:

So, I haven't read any of the thread yet, but I need to share a vacation confession.

We just got back to the states from a stay at an all inclusive resort in Punta Cana. This resort had a ton of pools, and we routinely would pool hop. One day we ended up at a pool with jets in seating areas. We then got a few too many drinks in us and had sex surrounded by the jets. Oh, and there was a couple in the next jet area roughly 5 feet away. Whoopsies.

But did you poop in the pool?

Bonus question: Did you poop in the pool during sex?

The answer is always no. Don't ever say yes.

[Deleted]

Oct 30, 2015 20:54:24 GMT -5 pippacricket said:

I can't believe you're all still in here talking about poop.

Are you really though? Are you? C'mon. You know better.

[daisycat]

I skipped to the end to see if I missed anything good and it's all about poop. I'm just going to back away and pretend I was never here.

[Deleted]

Oct 30, 2015 21:12:50 GMT -5 pippacricket said:

Oct 30, 2015 21:11:01 GMT -5 @wallflwr926 said:

Are you really though? Are you? C'mon. You know better.

I keep pressing the new button hoping you guys have moved on to a new topic. But nope. Still poop.

Do you mean the refresh button? Sometimes a big poop can be very refreshing.

[Deleted]

Oct 30, 2015 21:33:12 GMT -5 pippacricket said:

Oct 30, 2015 21:27:40 GMT -5 @wallflwr926 said:

Do you mean the refresh button? Sometimes a big poop can be very refreshing.

[pismoduo]

Oct 30, 2015 21:37:46 GMT -5 @wallflwr926 said:

Oct 30, 2015 21:33:12 GMT -5 pippacricket said:

I'm dying at this cat. It's the perfect response to the nope cat.

[housecarder]

So husbandcarder gave me permission to share his story.
He has celiac's and for our honeymoon my MIL got us meal passes at Universal as a gift. With limited choices H decided to go non gluten free and just deal with the upset stomach. Half way through our week we are waiting for the bus back to the hotel and he say he has to go right now and go find a bathroom and tells me to just wait in line and he'll be back.
So he hurries off and asks a staff where the closest bathroom is, and the guy waves him in the general direction of this bridge area. Well there are no bathrooms in sight and it's go time. So H ducks into the bushes and hopes the darkness will hide him enough. So he does his thing and because the grass is damp from the rain the day before he slips as he's pulling up his pants and falls backwards, landing directly in it.
He heads out of the bushes and finally finds the bathroom where he throws away his sweater jacket and attempts to clean up, and then heads back to me, who is concerned because he isn't answering his texts. Apparently he lost his phone in all this.
When he gets back to me he is almost in tears. I give him my sweater to tie around his waist and hide the marks on his shorts and I pick a seat on the bus behind a toddler so the whole ride home the people around us thought the smell was the diaper. The parents checked like 5 times and seemed very confused. H still says that he knew he made the right choice to marry me when I pinned his shit on a toddler.
He was so traumatized that we skipped the park the next day and just hung out at the hotel and then stocked up on Imodium for the rest of the trip and flight home.

[Andrea]

Oct 30, 2015 21:57:46 GMT -5 housecarder said:

So husbandcarder gave me permission to share his story.
He has celiac's and for our honeymoon my MIL got us meal passes at Universal as a gift. With limited choices H decided to go non gluten free and just deal with the upset stomach. Half way through our week we are waiting for the bus back to the hotel and he say he has to go right now and go find a bathroom and tells me to just wait in line and he'll be back.
So he hurries off and asks a staff where the closest bathroom is, and the guy waves him in the general direction of this bridge area. Well there are no bathrooms in sight and it's go time. So H ducks into the bushes and hopes the darkness will hide him enough. So he does his thing and because the grass is damp from the rain the day before he slips as he's pulling up his pants and falls backwards, landing directly in it.
He heads out of the bushes and finally finds the bathroom where he throws away his sweater jacket and attempts to clean up, and then heads back to me, who is concerned because he isn't answering his texts. Apparently he lost his phone in all this.
When he gets back to me he is almost in tears. I give him my sweater to tie around his waist and hide the marks on his shorts and I pick a seat on the bus behind a toddler so the whole ride home the people around us thought the smell was the diaper. The parents checked like 5 times and seemed very confused. H still says that he knew he made the right choice to marry me when I pinned his shit on a toddler.
He was so traumatized that we skipped the park the next day and just hung out at the hotel and then stocked up on Imodium for the rest of the trip and flight home.

#truelove

[wilmaroo]

Oct 30, 2015 7:09:50 GMT -5 doodler said:

Our dog got groomed last week and he must have had a matt in the hair on his face that I missed. Well, the groomer just went ahead and shaved his face instead of calling and asking what we wanted to do. He's still adorable but I'm used to a big poofy face so it's still kind of shocking to me. We have family pictures next weekend and I'm irrationally upset that he looks like a poodle instead of a doodle.

The first time we had our goldendoodle shaved I didn't recognize her - at all. They brought her out and and I thought they were taking another dog to another customer. Fluffy Doodle looks so much better than shaved poodle. Soooo hard to maintain though.

[Rama]

Oct 30, 2015 21:57:46 GMT -5 housecarder said:

So husbandcarder gave me permission to share his story.
He has celiac's and for our honeymoon my MIL got us meal passes at Universal as a gift. With limited choices H decided to go non gluten free and just deal with the upset stomach. Half way through our week we are waiting for the bus back to the hotel and he say he has to go right now and go find a bathroom and tells me to just wait in line and he'll be back.
So he hurries off and asks a staff where the closest bathroom is, and the guy waves him in the general direction of this bridge area. Well there are no bathrooms in sight and it's go time. So H ducks into the bushes and hopes the darkness will hide him enough. So he does his thing and because the grass is damp from the rain the day before he slips as he's pulling up his pants and falls backwards, landing directly in it.
He heads out of the bushes and finally finds the bathroom where he throws away his sweater jacket and attempts to clean up, and then heads back to me, who is concerned because he isn't answering his texts. Apparently he lost his phone in all this.
When he gets back to me he is almost in tears. I give him my sweater to tie around his waist and hide the marks on his shorts and I pick a seat on the bus behind a toddler so the whole ride home the people around us thought the smell was the diaper. The parents checked like 5 times and seemed very confused. H still says that he knew he made the right choice to marry me when I pinned his shit on a toddler.
He was so traumatized that we skipped the park the next day and just hung out at the hotel and then stocked up on Imodium for the rest of the trip and flight home.

Absolutely dead.

[requiressnacks]

Oct 30, 2015 21:57:46 GMT -5 housecarder said:

So husbandcarder gave me permission to share his story.
He has celiac's and for our honeymoon my MIL got us meal passes at Universal as a gift. With limited choices H decided to go non gluten free and just deal with the upset stomach. Half way through our week we are waiting for the bus back to the hotel and he say he has to go right now and go find a bathroom and tells me to just wait in line and he'll be back.
So he hurries off and asks a staff where the closest bathroom is, and the guy waves him in the general direction of this bridge area. Well there are no bathrooms in sight and it's go time. So H ducks into the bushes and hopes the darkness will hide him enough. So he does his thing and because the grass is damp from the rain the day before he slips as he's pulling up his pants and falls backwards, landing directly in it.
He heads out of the bushes and finally finds the bathroom where he throws away his sweater jacket and attempts to clean up, and then heads back to me, who is concerned because he isn't answering his texts. Apparently he lost his phone in all this.
When he gets back to me he is almost in tears. I give him my sweater to tie around his waist and hide the marks on his shorts and I pick a seat on the bus behind a toddler so the whole ride home the people around us thought the smell was the diaper. The parents checked like 5 times and seemed very confused. H still says that he knew he made the right choice to marry me when I pinned his shit on a toddler.
He was so traumatized that we skipped the park the next day and just hung out at the hotel and then stocked up on Imodium for the rest of the trip and flight home.

You are a match made in heaven!

[lovetruly2015]

Oct 30, 2015 6:47:58 GMT -5 thechickencoop said:

IS ANYONE ELSE AWAKE??

I'm sitting in the kitChen drinking coffee while DS is in my bed watching cartoons.

Another parenting win? Or....fail? LMK.

Im gonna go with win. Because who didn't love laying around watching saturday morning cartoons as a kid.

[Rama]

I wanna give a special shout out to @bruxannie and McBenny for joining us yesterday. You guys are a hoot and you're welcome 'round these parts any time. With or without horrifying confessions. <3

[McBenny]

Thank you!!

I would hang and get to know people better but I feel like I know too much about some.

::::sprays board with Lysol::::

[Deleted]

This was pure entertainment, ladies! I'm glad that my horrifying confession could springboard into so many wonderful new nuggets! SWIDT???

[Deleted]

Oct 31, 2015 11:46:52 GMT -5 @bruxannie said:

This was pure entertainment, ladies! I'm glad that my horrifying confession could springboard into so many wonderful new nuggets! SWIDT???

I hope you drop in more often. Don't forget to bring along your Q-tips.

[thechickencoop]

We were just passed by a car with vanity tags that read POOPCAR.

Thought it was relevant lol.

[Andrea]

My husband is horrified by all that went on here yesterday. I gave him a play by play. I miss you crazies.

[rablissful]

Oct 31, 2015 14:44:46 GMT -5 Andrea said:

My husband is horrified by all that went on here yesterday. I gave him a play by play. I miss you crazies.

[Deleted]

Oct 31, 2015 14:44:46 GMT -5 Andrea said:

My husband is horrified by all that went on here yesterday. I gave him a play by play. I miss you crazies.

You mean he hasn't been desensitized by your nonstop vomiting yet.

[Andrea]

Oct 31, 2015 19:28:30 GMT -5 @wallflwr926 said:

Oct 31, 2015 14:44:46 GMT -5 Andrea said:

My husband is horrified by all that went on here yesterday. I gave him a play by play. I miss you crazies.

You mean he hasn't been desensitized by your nonstop vomiting yet.

I think that and the incessant farting are securing my celibacy for the next year. 

[Deleted]

Oct 31, 2015 19:52:17 GMT -5 Andrea said:

Oct 31, 2015 19:28:30 GMT -5 @wallflwr926 said:

You mean he hasn't been desensitized by your nonstop vomiting yet.

I think that and the incessant farting are securing my celibacy for the next year. 

Is this where I'm allowed to say I feel sorry for your husband?

Cause I don't. In fact, I am legit LOLing at both of you.

[PepperPottsJ]

Oct 30, 2015 12:48:36 GMT -5 ironbaby said:

I had heard tales of people that kept spoons in the bathroom just to dig out the hard nuggets that get stuck.

This whole conversation is making me cringe. I want to buy you all miralax.

Or pepto. We seem to have two brands of issues happening here. Let's all aim for solid, but not too solid, poop.

Spoons??!!??!!??

[icaughtfire]

I am horrified to know & love some of you.

Y'all nasty.

[mosdub]

This is late in coming and I'm only posting because I came across it looking for something else and it's too good to not share:

[rablissful]

Nov 1, 2015 18:06:54 GMT -5 mosdub said:

This is late in coming and I'm only posting because I came across it looking for something else and it's too good to not share:

OMG I'M DYING.

BEST NOPE GIF EVER.

[mosdub]

Nov 1, 2015 19:32:52 GMT -5 rablissful said:

Nov 1, 2015 18:06:54 GMT -5 mosdub said:

This is late in coming and I'm only posting because I came across it looking for something else and it's too good to not share:

OMG I'M DYING.

BEST NOPE GIF EVER.

I know, and when we need it we won't be able to find it.  I think I need to bookmark it. 

[rablissful]

Nov 1, 2015 19:34:53 GMT -5 mosdub said:

Nov 1, 2015 19:32:52 GMT -5 rablissful said:

OMG I'M DYING.

BEST NOPE GIF EVER.

I know, and when we need it we won't be able to find it.  I think I need to bookmark it. 

I really need to make an amazing gif Pinterest board.

[kariann12]

I finally read this thread, since I knew it would be a doozy. I'd offer my pants-pooping story, but I feel that's been sufficiently covered. Good work.

[Deleted]

Nov 1, 2015 18:06:54 GMT -5 mosdub said:

This is late in coming and I'm only posting because I came across it looking for something else and it's too good to not share:

That was the longest gif ever.