It's not Friday so I need my very own confessional thread. I was judgmental of another mom.
I went to a breastfeeding support group yesterday (because shits hard, yo) and the woman sitting next to me brought her mother to the group! So I not only had to feed baby in front of all these strangers, but also this random woman's mom! But, it gets better. Her kid is three months old and she had legit shoes on his feet. And, he had a puffy snow suit on in this carseat. A car seat that was encased in a fluffy Bundle Me. I was hardcore judging.
Post by BabyStandish on Jan 29, 2015 10:38:43 GMT -5
I side eyed my brothers wife for her 2.5 yr old still using a pacifier and aren't trying to wean him off it whatsoever. He uses it 24/7 and has a meltdown when it falls out. I feel bad for judging, but I feel like its hurting his communication skills. I can't understand what he's saying with it in his mouth all the time.
Post by Jellypepper on Jan 29, 2015 10:46:44 GMT -5
Yes, I have a co-worker that I'm constantly judging. She smokes in her car, has her 3 yo DD in a high back booster without a 5pt harness, her 14 month old is forward facing, she's always talking about how broke she is but went out drinking over the weekend. I could go on and on.
I feel bad sometimes because she seems like a really nice person who has had a hard life and doesn't always know better. I've got sanctimommy guilt!
Post by grumpycat88 on Jan 29, 2015 11:02:48 GMT -5
This happened before kiddo was born but DH and I were leaving target and there were two women standing with four small children right in the exit. Both women were smoking and I swear blowing it right where their kids were. Whatever, smoke if you want, but don't put that shit knowingly into your kids' lungs.
Post by nachomomma on Jan 29, 2015 11:18:40 GMT -5
My sister occasionally spanks her 4 year old daughter it's never hard or prolonged, but I definitely get uncomfortable and don't agree with it. Her husband is worthless, so she does most of the parenting, and I think she's overwhelmed. I ended up recommending she read 1–2-3 Magic though, and she seems to find it really helpful. Hopefully that means the end of spanking.
Post by nachomomma on Jan 29, 2015 11:20:06 GMT -5
@saiven did you go to the Breastfeeding Center's support group? I used to go weekly, mainly because I felt trapped in the house. One woman brought her husband. I did not enjoy his presence (and he pretty much just sat there quietly).
Post by 4littlebears on Jan 29, 2015 11:22:30 GMT -5
I completely side eye a friend of mine for having neither one of their kids even in a booster seat anymore. They are 5 and 8, and both of them are on the smaller side. My 8yo is still in a booster until he's tall enough for the strap to fit right. My 5yo is in a high back booster.
I have 4 little bears, just like my name says. 2 girls 2 boys ages 8,5,3, and my newest babe. 2 of my little bears have life threatening food allergies, feel free to ask me more about that!
@saiven did you go to the Breastfeeding Center's support group? I used to go weekly, mainly because I felt trapped in the house. One woman brought her husband. I did not enjoy his presence (and he pretty much just sat there quietly).
I went to the one at Shady Grove hospital, but when I saw a lactation consultant, it was at the Breastfeeding Center. That's also where I took my breastfeeding/pumping classes. Getting in to the city in the morning is...challenging
I am constantly judging other people with their kids, putting the carseat on top of the grocery cart is the one I see the most.... I had to explain the jacket thing to my BF a while ago.
I saw someone with the carseat on the cart at babies r us and almost said something
I totally side eyes my coworker who smoked and drank through her whole pregnancy. She now smokes in front of her kids which I think is insanely selfish!
I saw someone with the carseat on the cart at babies r us and almost said something
Everytime I walk into Wal-Mart I find at least 5 people
Don't judge too quick...but where else can it go? Maybe our grocery carts up north are designed differently, because there seems to be a lip that fits right into the car seat...and that's how everyone seems to use them? (Gotta look for a photo to show what I mean)
I side eye my SIL because she doesn't vaccinate her kids on schedule. And she gives them raw cow's milk "to boost immunity." They're 15 months old. I love raw milk, but a kid in my hometown died from it. I'd never give it to a kid.
I sometimes put DS1 in real shoes before he was 3 months old. What's wrong with that? We never bought him shoes before he was about 6 months, but we have lots of shoes that people gave us as gifts, and I feel bad not using them! I wish I could trade some of the baby shoes for his now size 8 shoes because there are still pairs that have never been worn.
I really try not to judge. I don't like when parents tell their kids that they are bad. I feel like there's a difference between "you are a bad kid" and "that is bad behavior," and I just cringe when I hear the first one.
Everytime I walk into Wal-Mart I find at least 5 people
Don't judge too quick...but where else can it go? Maybe our grocery carts up north are designed differently, because there seems to be a lip that fits right into the car seat...and that's how everyone seems to use them? (Gotta look for a photo to show what I mean)
OMG! Just doing a quick Google image search - totally different!! I'd be giving all the side eye. These are the carts we have at our grocery store:
The back of the infant seat kind of rests on the back upper level, so it's "locked in" and secure.
I am constantly judging other people with their kids, putting the carseat on top of the grocery cart is the one I see the most.... I had to explain the jacket thing to my BF a while ago.
I saw someone with the carseat on the cart at babies r us and almost said something
Maybe I'm that stupid mom, but can someone explain why you can't put your car seat on top f your grocery cart? I see it all the time, and have also done it, but as long as it's sitting flat, what is the problem?
I tend to judge helicopter parents...maybe we are too lax but I can't stand it when parents feel the need to solve all of their kids' problems (I.e. When another kid had a toy that their kid wants and the parent feels the need to be "fair" so their kid gets a turn. Seriously, just let the kids work it out, that's how they learn. Only time you need to intervene is when one of them gets aggressive.) Which brings me to point two, said helicopter parents are usually waaaay to lax on the discipline when their kid does act out by hitting...I don't condone spanking, but a time-out or a consequence would be good!
Post by Jellypepper on Jan 29, 2015 12:04:34 GMT -5
Also, clipping the carseat into the top basket on the traditional cart can damage the locking mechanisim. So even though you may think that you have a secure fit it's actually just damaging the seat and making it less likely to stay locked into the carseat base during a crash.
I side eye my SIL because she doesn't vaccinate her kids on schedule. And she gives them raw cow's milk "to boost immunity." They're 15 months old. I love raw milk, but a kid in my hometown died from it. I'd never give it to a kid.
To clarify you mean, the kid died from the bacteria in the unpasteurized milk, not the milk itself. I just have to make sure the facts are correct because I am a dairy farmer (in Canada) and to say the milk itself killed the child would be pretty rare. I do give my child raw milk from our own tank, but I know the bacto-scan results and that it has been properly refrigerated. In Canada it is illegal to sell raw milk to anyone other than the marketing board, does she buy the milk from a farm? Or is she a farmer?
I totally side eyes my coworker who smoked and drank through her whole pregnancy. She now smokes in front of her kids which I think is insanely selfish!
I had a coworker due 2 weeks after me that smoked. She said that her doctor told her not to quit cold turkey and to slowly wean off it but she never did.... Then she took her week old baby in to work to see everyone right in the middle of flu season when our pediatrician specifically said not to take LO out in public for the first 6 weeks. I totally judge her.
Smoking....I also side eyed a coworker who was pregnant at the same time as me...said it was better for the baby to tolerate her smoking that go through withdraw. WTAF, are you smoking crack or cigarettss?
Post by laceysbryan on Jan 29, 2015 12:29:30 GMT -5
I judge my SIL for being extra helicopter-y, but also for plastering every detail of my niece and nephew's lives on FB. I'm not on FB so maybe this is normal for most people, but if your 3 year old actually asks to take selfies to put on FB... That's weird to me.
Smoking....I also side eyed a coworker who was pregnant at the same time as me...said it was better for the baby to tolerate her smoking that go through withdraw. WTAF, are you smoking crack or cigarettss?
In regards to this, B was an unplanned pregnancy and I didn't find out right away well because no dates line up. (He's my how the hell did that happen baby) and I've always had irregular periods going 3 months without one and not being pregnant. I was told cold turkey is dangerous but I could wean myself off. So that is what I did. I felt guilty but not because I have had 2 miscarriages and if I had quit cold turkey and lost him I'd have blamed myself for not weaning off because by the time I found out I was pregnant he was already addicted. I do hate people who smoke pregnant and don't give a rats ass and don't try to quit. That is selfish.
I totally side eyes my coworker who smoked and drank through her whole pregnancy. She now smokes in front of her kids which I think is insanely selfish!
I had a coworker due 2 weeks after me that smoked. She said that her doctor told her not to quit cold turkey and to slowly wean off it but she never did.... Then she took her week old baby in to work to see everyone right in the middle of flu season when our pediatrician specifically said not to take LO out in public for the first 6 weeks. I totally judge her.
Judge away. From B having flu (and we hibernated) I am completely judging everyone I know who is taking their new babies out to see all their friends because well people like babies. I like healthy babies with moms who think twice about exposing their newborns to potential influenza.
Can get top heavy and flip from the carrier sitting in the seat part of it. I watched my cousin flip out of one a few years ago hes fine but it was scary.
I could see that style being a problem, ours in the great white north have a double layer (I can't find a picture).
Post by 3littleones on Jan 29, 2015 12:37:47 GMT -5
I judge every single parent who cannot control their children. Not because the child is rambunctious. But because their child is out of control. The kind of parents who are stressed out by the kids behavior but never ever have said the word no to their child. My SIL had her 2yo run for the river she caught him said "why do you scare me like that" and then complained he doesn't listen and doesn't understand why he is out of control. Don't baby your child. And he tells her no all the time and she listens. Why are you letting your child parent you?!
Post by shehulk723 on Jan 29, 2015 13:07:36 GMT -5
I judged parents in a restaurant the other day who had 3 kids, guessing ages were 5-8ish and an infant. They let the kids yell, scream, run around the isles, throw paper airplanes and other objects and not once did the parents make an attempt to make them behave.
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