Why does there have to be a 5am wake up when my alarm goes of at 6? WHHHHHY? At least it's Friday!
+1 on the 5am wake up. DH probably won't get up til closer to 7. Normally C will go back down, not today. We've moved rooms so he can squeal away (and not wake DH up) I think today is going to require more than 1 or 2 cups of coffee
Post by holliberry28 on Nov 13, 2015 7:37:47 GMT -5
My sister came over yesterday with her best friend. Both my nephew and her friends son went away to college together this year so I've known her for a long time.
Started off well, dinner, wine, my sister reading a chapter in the memoir she's writing.
Then the conversation led to my parents and them not being around much, to her screaming in the apt while the baby and H were sleeping. And me crying and telling her to shut the fuck up and lower her voice.
Somehow I ended up apologizing b/c she's a bully and I didn't want to cause wwIII with her.
They left at 11, and M was up at 1 and then 4,415,5,515 and 6. H usually takes the motn feed but I'm guessing she woke him up because he just laughed and said no when I asked if he as going to feed him.
I'm sad that my parents don't help more but H just makes it so much worse because he resents my family for not helping more, and all my attempts to just have him accept it and move on aren't working.
So now I've fucked up my relationship with everyone. I'm gonna go try not to cry at work now.
My 6 year old niece spent the night last night and we're meeting up with my parents and her 5 year old sister for lunch later. Then us ladies are going to a consignment store and to Aldi's for non-perishable thanksgiving foods.
My sister came over yesterday with her best friend. Both my nephew and her friends son went away to college together this year so I've known her for a long time.
Started off well, dinner, wine, my sister reading a chapter in the memoir she's writing.
Then the conversation led to my parents and them not being around much, to her screaming in the apt while the baby and H were sleeping. And me crying and telling her to shut the fuck up and lower her voice.
Somehow I ended up apologizing b/c she's a bully and I didn't want to cause wwIII with her.
They left at 11, and M was up at 1 and then 4,415,5,515 and 6. H usually takes the motn feed but I'm guessing she woke him up because he just laughed and said no when I asked if he as going to feed him.
I'm sad that my parents don't help more but H just makes it so much worse because he resents my family for not helping more, and all my attempts to just have him accept it and move on aren't working.
So now I've fucked up my relationship with everyone. I'm gonna go try not to cry at work now.
I'm so sorry. Why was she screaming? Does she disagree about your parents' involvement?
When my mom was drinking again in the spring and summer, H pulled back quite a bit. He told me he would have handled things differently (meaning stopped talking to her instead of sticking around while she relapsed several times). It was really hard on him because he doesn't know her like that, and especially with the baby coming/arriving, it was one more thing that we had to worry about/watch for. Going to therapy helped both of us, but so did just talking to H about why I stuck by her. He has such a different relationship with his mother, that I don't think he understood why I would want to. I'm still not sure he gets it, but he's much more supportive.
Aside from being very anecdotal, the point of that story isthat your H is probably struggling with reality being so different from his expectations. It's very frustrating, especially when it sounds like you're feeling very isolated in the situation, but I think having a conversation with him and reiterating that you can't control others actions might be helpful. I'm sorry you're struggling with this.
Thanks for sharing that. She was screaming that I'm a selfish person b/c I expect too much from my mom who's sick. Especially after my "cancer scares." (I'm a hypochondriac so she likes to throw that in my face that now our mother is fighting what I'm most afraid of).That's just the tip of the iceberg. She lost her special needs daughter last year at 18 and is nowhere yet near healing. I should go to therapy with her...
Unfortunately H refuses to go to therapy because he doesn't think anything is wrong with him. He doesn't think he needs to be more than civil to my family and that's it's my problem to deal with. He's now ignoring my texts apologizing for waking him last night.
And I've gone alone for years to a few different therapists so I don't think going back alone would be beneficial to me now.
carolyngrace YAY!!!! Congrats to DB for such a great sleep!!!
Jules did great on the second night of CIO 9-1-3(feed)-5-8:30(up) longest cry was 17 mins and she found and put her paci in all by herself!
Going to meet a girl friend for lunch at a new meatball place so I'm excited for that! Then going to my other girl friend's place to hang out. So pretty uneventful. I'm debating if I want to drive over to get some donuts right now or not...
Happy Friday! holliberry28 sorry for the crappy night, sending some hugs your way! Today I'm going consignment shopping because 6mo clothes are starting to look small on LO and we have nothing bigger for him. Gym and cleaning the house are also on the to do list for today. Tomorrow I'm taking my niece and 2 nephews (10, 7, and 5) Christmas shopping, to the new grilled cheese and tomato soup restaurant in town, movie and then they are sleeping at my house! I'm super excited because the kids talk about this day all year round about how they get to come to my house, pick out their own Christmas present and then sleep over. It makes me the fun fun Aunt!!
Post by holliberry28 on Nov 13, 2015 10:52:30 GMT -5
Everyone is so supportive here. Thank you. Makes me wish we weren't just internet friends and we could meet with our babies at the local coffeeshop/playground/bar/etc. Kidding on that last one. But for real, there is a bar in Park Slope in Brooklyn where the moms meet up with their infants to breastfeed and drink beer on tap, simultaneously of course.
I'm afraid I need to grow a bigger backbone and not lot H intimidate me and make me feel worse about the situation as it is. I need to be more accepting, especially of things I can't change..
Speaking of change, I wanted to take DH's last name because I didn't when we got married in 2012 (so me and the baby would have the same last name) so I called the courthouse here in NYC and they said the only way I can do it is if we come in and get married again. Like pay the $35 for the license and go through another ceremony. I told her that there's no way my husband would marry me again. Damnit. I thought I could just send paperwork in. Off tangent I know. I guess it's one of those days.
ETA: Just saw your post @poppyc8. Kudos to your sis, what an accomplishment!
So sorry to hear about your rough night holliberry28. Sending you positive vibes and hoping your family situation turns around soon.
carolyngrace- So happy for you! B has been sleeping better too. It's the best thing in the world.
I'm off on a field trip with some of my favorite kids today. I have no idea where I am going to pump, but I am feeling positive today. I'll figure it out, I'm sure. Otherwise, my boobs are going to be huge by the time we get back to school at 3:30.
DH was planning on going to a friend's house 2 hours away to watch the UFC fight on Saturday night, and I was super bummed about it because I hate spending time away from him. He has so little free time as it is. I begged him to have his friend come to our house to watch the fight, and even promised food. Well, they have changed their minds, and will be at our house on Saturday night! I'm so happy! I was going to spend my Saturday night alone in my pjs watching netflix while B slept. Having people over and having DH home will be so much better!
The only thing that is killing my buzz today is that my IL's announced that they want to come stay with us in February. FOR 2 WEEKS. I might lose my mind if they stay that long. A week is bad enough. UGH.
holliberry28, I thought name changes are always handled by the SSA? When I changed mine, I just brought my marriage license to my local social security office and they mailed me a new card a few weeks later and it was official. There's nothing on the SSA's website about there being a time limit on how old your marriage license is. Once I had the new SS card, I used that get a new drivers license, change banking information, etc.
That's what I thought...Did you put your H's last name on your marriage license?? I already printed out all the forms and was ready to make an appointment with the SS office, but they also need a copy of your marriage license and my marriage license doesn't have H's last name added on it. Confused...
That's what I thought...Did you put your H's last name on your marriage license?? I already printed out all the forms and was ready to make an appointment with the SS office, but they also need a copy of your marriage license and my marriage license doesn't have H's last name added on it. Confused...
My marriage license has my full maiden name. Took it to the SS office with SS card, driver's license, and marriage license. Got it changed in like 10 minutes. I don't know why in the world you would need to get married again?? WTF?
That's good to hear. Maybe the lady at the courthouse was smoking crack when she answered my call?
So to have a May 15 baby and a Jan 16 baby is 8 months apart... wait, how the what?
Just from scanning the thread, I'd guess that her twins came early. My goodness though, the heart attack that would come from finding out... "Congratulations, you're having a baby in about 2 months!"
holliberry28 +1 to having maiden names on the marriage license. At the time you are getting licensed, thats what your legal name is, so I wouldn't think there would be a way to put your intended name on there.
I would recommend just going to SS and bringing marriage license, SS card, DL, etc with you. You should be able to just fill out a form and be done with it. Of course, after you change your name with SS, you will then need to do so with your DL.
Also, so sorry about the drama you are going through with your family. Family issues are always so hard to navigate through. The one thing that worries me is that you feel intimidated by your H. Like just about this situation? In general? I have a similar relationship with my mother, in that she caused a lot of drama in my life these past 6 months (my whole life, honestly). DW has a phenomenal relationship with her mom and she just can't fathom how/why my mom does the things she does. I don't understand either. But the thing is, even though DW doesn't understand why I stick around, and try to make things work, it doesn't matter. She supports me in what I want to do with my family. So...basically it worries me that you are intimidated by him and that he doesn't support you about this. But, is it for me to worry? No, probably not. Alas, we are here to support one another and the best I can do is share my experiences, and hopefully present that there is a different way for you & DH to handle this.
Stay strong, and keep your head up girl!
Thanks Kristykristyleelee. He never was like this, but all throughout the pregnancy and years before, my family would brag how much they'd be around, and how my dad would be the babysitter extroardinaire etc etc. So H feels lied to by them. He's just so upset with the whole situation, he himself feels slighted by them. And pissed that my mom wants to go work full time and go to casinos over seeing her grandson. I'm past the anger already though, let her do what makes her happy. I just wish he'd be on the same page as me.
I am slightly freaking out because I think my supply might be dwindling to not sustainable levels...
Same is happening to me. I've had to give some formula. Strongly contemplating a full switch and weaning over the next couple weeks.
I haven't tried giving her formula yet. I can't figure out if she is getting enough, and I just don't have enough to pump, or if she needs more as well.
Day care starts really soon, and I am trying to build up a stash, I have about 3.5oz to show for my work, not great.
Same is happening to me. I've had to give some formula. Strongly contemplating a full switch and weaning over the next couple weeks.
I haven't tried giving her formula yet. I can't figure out if she is getting enough, and I just don't have enough to pump, or if she needs more as well.
Day care starts really soon, and I am trying to build up a stash, I have about 3.5oz to show for my work, not great.
Not to discourage you further, but I started work with about 30 bags of 4 ounces stashed up. That was a little over two months ago, and even though I pumped at work my stash is totally gone. This is part of why I am probably going to wean soon. The stress and work up pumping is too much.
If you don't mind giving formula, you can totally do a test to see if Db is getting enough. That's what I did the other day when I offered him 2 ounces of formula after I breast-fed him and he was still fussy. He sucked it down and then was happy. So I think I'm safe concluding he was still hungry.
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