Telling families (part 2)

[misshart00]

Dec 26, 2015 18:42:07 GMT -5 elm1214 said:

We told our families around Thanksgiving, but I did tell DH's aunt on Christmas Eve so that was fun. DH is dying to tell our daughters but I'm just so nervous. Our 3 year old will be SO excited and if something happened, that would make it really hard. I'm tempted to go to a private ultrasound place next weekend (at 9 weeks) so we can tell them. Is that crazy? I'm not sure yet if I'm getting an NT scan.

I think if you want to go get an ultrasound on your own, so you can tell your daughters, go for it. They should be able to see stuff at 9 weeks. I always get ultrasounds at about 8 weeks (9 this time).

[annbuhdan]

We told DH's family and the reaction was kind of "we knew this was coming." They were happy, but I honestly thought they'd be more excited. SIL was very excited though. She loves babies but I think she's done, so we will keep the kids coming for her to enjoy

[elm1214]

Dec 26, 2015 20:04:58 GMT -5 misshart00 said:

Dec 26, 2015 18:42:07 GMT -5 elm1214 said:

We told our families around Thanksgiving, but I did tell DH's aunt on Christmas Eve so that was fun. DH is dying to tell our daughters but I'm just so nervous. Our 3 year old will be SO excited and if something happened, that would make it really hard. I'm tempted to go to a private ultrasound place next weekend (at 9 weeks) so we can tell them. Is that crazy? I'm not sure yet if I'm getting an NT scan.

I think if you want to go get an ultrasound on your own, so you can tell your daughters, go for it. They should be able to see stuff at 9 weeks. I always get ultrasounds at about 8 weeks (9 this time).

I had an ultrasound at 6 weeks at my doctors office, but it makes me nervous since it was so early! It's actually pretty cheap to do the elective, but I'm still not sure.

[misshart00]

Dec 26, 2015 20:12:28 GMT -5 elm1214 said:

Dec 26, 2015 20:04:58 GMT -5 misshart00 said:

I think if you want to go get an ultrasound on your own, so you can tell your daughters, go for it. They should be able to see stuff at 9 weeks. I always get ultrasounds at about 8 weeks (9 this time).

I had an ultrasound at 6 weeks at my doctors office, but it makes me nervous since it was so early! It's actually pretty cheap to do the elective, but I'm still not sure.

I definitely understand. My daughter knows but she's two. She doesn't even understand that there's a baby in mommy's tummy yet.

[joy]

Dec 26, 2015 15:30:18 GMT -5 lennonkdc said:

She's 2, so maybe they are trying for #2....IDK. They met, got engaged, got married and had a kid in the time it took DH and I to save for and plan our wedding and we were nothing but excited for them. So it sucks if they can't at least fake some enthusiasm...

You don't know what they're going through. They could have been trying for the past year and a half and been told they have limited options for all anyone knows. It tooks us 2.5 years to get pregnant and infertility made me infinitely more aware of all the struggles that people privately face.

Let it go.

[thechickencoop]

This randomly popped up on my Pinterest feed...just in case anyone's looking for ideas

[katelm]

Dec 26, 2015 11:58:11 GMT -5 lennonkdc said:

We told both sets of parents when they came over for Christmas Eve dinner. There were tears all around, and everyone was very excited. We told our siblings yesterday and only my sister got excited. DH's sister did say congratulations, but DH's brother and his wife (who has a daughter) seemed less then enthused. Maybe it's because we're due around their daughters birthday? It was kinda of a bummer how unexcited they seemed...

I agree that it's possible something else is going on here. She may have miscarried recently, etc. I've been through so much crap & I know for sure I've come off as unenthusiastic to many pregnancy announcement because it's such a trigger for me

[joy]

Dec 27, 2015 0:27:46 GMT -5 opheliainwaders said:

Dec 26, 2015 20:40:26 GMT -5 joy said:

You don't know what they're going through. They could have been trying for the past year and a half and been told they have limited options for all anyone knows. It tooks us 2.5 years to get pregnant and infertility made me infinitely more aware of all the struggles that people privately face.

Let it go.

Yeah, I had a lot of friends get pregnant right around the time I miscarried, and while I did my best to be happy for them, I am 100% sure it came across as rather stilted. Sometimes it really is hard to fake it.

There were so many people who announced their pregnancies on GKU that I loved and was happy for but could not love it or comment. I felt like suuuuch a royal jerk (and shit mod) but I was just lost in my own struggle. I'm grateful for every person who commented on my announcement post - some of whom I know are having serious problems.

Look at Rama! Still being here after everything? Not everyone is that strong.

[ameliabird]

We told my ILs and Moms side of the family so far but not my dad. We gave them a present with booties in them with a tag that said "dear ---, I can't wait to meet you in August! Love, your new grandbaby." My ILs cried and my mom and sisters yelled "are you kidding me???" It was pretty great.

[ameliabird]

My SIL knew already because I wasn't drinking and only drinking water. On Christmas Eve she poured everyone a glass of wine but me and at that point I knew she knew.

[Rama]

Dec 27, 2015 8:33:40 GMT -5 joy said:

Dec 27, 2015 0:27:46 GMT -5 opheliainwaders said:

Yeah, I had a lot of friends get pregnant right around the time I miscarried, and while I did my best to be happy for them, I am 100% sure it came across as rather stilted. Sometimes it really is hard to fake it.

There were so many people who announced their pregnancies on GKU that I loved and was happy for but could not love it or comment. I felt like suuuuch a royal jerk (and shit mod) but I was just lost in my own struggle. I'm grateful for every person who commented on my announcement post - some of whom I know are having serious problems.

Look at Rama! Still being here after everything? Not everyone is that strong.

But I love you guys!

I'll completely admit that there will be times I'll need to step back. I reintro'd on GKU, but I still haven't worked up the balls to tell 3T/IF or PAIF or Pregnancy. It hurts to admit. I'm a hell of a lot more okay with my TCF family than everything going on "in real life". I try to say congrats, at least, but, yeah. Sometimes as much as I'd like to be enthusiastic, I simply can't muster up that outward joy.

Be kind to your siblings, there's likely a painful reason behind those reactions.

[Rama]

Dec 27, 2015 13:12:10 GMT -5 theophania said:

Rama, don't forget to check out the loss boards. They are an amazing support system here. <3

Ah, yes! I am working through those complicated feelings, too. :(

[kaitkat]

We told my parents. My mom knows about our infertility and once I told her my progesterone numbers This month she knew from then on. I'm just glad someone knows other than us after our year struggle it's nice to cautiously tell someone. If my husband had his way everyone would know haha but since I'm having all the "viability" ultrasounds he is on board to stay quiet until our announcement photos in February.

[thelorax]

We weren't planning on telling and didn't. I actually didn't puke or even gag the entire time we were home. It was a Christmas miracle.

[NariaDreaming]

Dec 26, 2015 11:24:09 GMT -5 dc2london said:

As my m/s, inability to eat, and inability to move without a massive headrush and momentary loss of vision escalate, I am becoming more and more convinced that I won't be able to hide it from IL's next weekend. We shall see.
Also, anyone else having the head rush problems?

Currently at red robin, slamming lemonade to try and get my sugars up, and holding onto the table for dear life

[NariaDreaming]

Dec 26, 2015 15:30:18 GMT -5 lennonkdc said:

She's 2, so maybe they are trying for #2....IDK. They met, got engaged, got married and had a kid in the time it took DH and I to save for and plan our wedding and we were nothing but excited for them. So it sucks if they can't at least fake some enthusiasm...

I unfriended everyone in my life who got pregnant in the last 24 months. It took us 48 months and 3 IVF cycles to get pregnant, so I totally understand people who have an underwhelming response.

[Deleted]

Just lurking, dc2london a friend of mine had headrushes and dizziness all throughout two of her three pregnancies. She ended up not being allowed to drive about halfway through. Mostly anecdotal but def mention it to your doc. I don't remember what they said was the cause of my friends but I know it wasn't BP
Hope you feel better and it passes!

[dc2london]

Dec 27, 2015 16:49:37 GMT -5 @irish said:

Just lurking, dc2london a friend of mine had headrushes and dizziness all throughout two of her three pregnancies. She ended up not being allowed to drive about halfway through. Mostly anecdotal but def mention it to your doc. I don't remember what they said was the cause of my friends but I know it wasn't BP
Hope you feel better and it passes!

Oh thanks, maybe I will mention it. I had this in 2nd tri with Rhys but it is really vad, really early this time

[dc2london]

I probably just need to be more on top of my protein intake. I am trying. Honest.

[juliayadda]

Getting ready for Turkey dinner number three!!!!

[juliayadda]

I have always had head rushes. Usually from low blood pressure or dehydration. Doctor told me to drink an electrolyte beverage everyday

[thechickencoop]

Dec 27, 2015 16:53:22 GMT -5 juliayadda said:

I have always had head rushes. Usually from low blood pressure or dehydration. Doctor told me to drink an electrolyte beverage everyday

Have you found that it helps? I have generally really low BP and get headrushes a lot if I stand up even a hair too fast. I've just gotten used to it over time.

[juliayadda]

Dec 27, 2015 16:57:35 GMT -5 thechickencoop said:

Dec 27, 2015 16:53:22 GMT -5 juliayadda said:

I have always had head rushes. Usually from low blood pressure or dehydration. Doctor told me to drink an electrolyte beverage everyday

Have you found that it helps? I have generally really low BP and get headrushes a lot if I stand up even a hair too fast. I've just gotten used to it over time.

Yes! Or I will add salt to my food. My dad was on a salt free diet for a long time and I became very salt deficient. I try to remember sea salt is my friend.

[dc2london]

Dec 27, 2015 20:44:39 GMT -5 juliayadda said:

Dec 27, 2015 16:57:35 GMT -5 thechickencoop said:

Have you found that it helps? I have generally really low BP and get headrushes a lot if I stand up even a hair too fast. I've just gotten used to it over time.

Yes! Or I will add salt to my food. My dad was on a salt free diet for a long time and I became very salt deficient. I try to remember sea salt is my friend.

I tend toward a very low salt diet too. I don't add salt to my food and I typically don't eat much packaged/processed food.

[liljackjack]

We decided to tell our almost 5 year old today after she decided to do a running jump right on to my back. She was happy to learn she was going to get a new baby Though she took this time to ask how babies get in tummies haha.

Most of my immediate family found out after I couldn't hold a poker face when offered an alcoholic beverage. I'm the worst liar. They didn't seem very enthusiastic, but I think they were just super shocked

[bocaburger]

dc2london The head rush etc sounds like dehydration. I would recommend electrolyte beverages and call your doctor if it is making it hard for you to do your regular activities. Also, change positions very slowly and break it into steps (ie go from laying down to sitting for a couple minutes before you try to stand).

lennonkdc I'm sorry about your IL's lack of enthusiasm. Like others said, there is probably something else going on in their lives that you don't know about, but I know it's hard to not be able to share your excitement. My sister was very enthusiastic when I told her on the phone last week, but we've been together in person since Friday and she has yet to even acknowledge my pregnancy. If she is TTC they can't have been trying for more than 6 months, but she is 4 years older than me and has a lot of sadness about the things that haven't happened yet in her life that she was expecting to happen by now. She knows about our IF and I know she is happy for me, and I can't blame her for letting her own feelings affect her response... but I do wish I could be more openly excited around her.

[bocaburger]

We told both our immediate families and my grandma last week. Today we saw my mom's whole side of the family. A lot of my family members are huge blabbermouths and H was convinced someone would spill the beans. We actually made a bet about it because he was so sure everyone would know by the end of the day... but my family was so good and no one slipped! So I won a $50 date of my choice. :-)

[coffeequeen14]

We told our three year old. He has been so sweet and constantly asks if he can cuddle his baby:) he got very upset when the 1 yo jumped on me for fear the baby got squished!

[thechickencoop]

Dec 27, 2015 21:44:48 GMT -5 dc2london said:

Dec 27, 2015 20:44:39 GMT -5 juliayadda said:

Yes! Or I will add salt to my food. My dad was on a salt free diet for a long time and I became very salt deficient. I try to remember sea salt is my friend.

I tend toward a very low salt diet too. I don't add salt to my food and I typically don't eat much packaged/processed food.

Huh. Something to think about. I am definitely not a salt person but maybe I need to up my intake a bit.

[lennonkdc]

Thanks ladies for the insite. I was really open with my SIL about our TTC journey and the fact that we had started seeing an RE, and she was very supportive. She's not the secretive type, but I know that doesn't mean I know everything that is going on in their lives. I didn't mean to sound insensitive, just felt down (and a little surprised) b/c I had been so open with SIL about our journey. I'm sorry if I offended anyone or came of bitchy.