Informal GKU IF thread

[cateyes]

Since the holidays can be hard enough and IF makes them a million times harder, I decided to just do an informal check in so no one gets the "tag" reminder of IF. So whats happening ladies? Any updates-IF related or not???

Here are some cookies since I wish I could send each of you some! 

[kawaiikitsune]

Absolutely nothing new with me. Fuck IF during the holidays.

[butlerfan]

So I checked in with where our medical records are being sent to so we can see a new RE...and H's records still haven't been sent over and they have sent a second request. The holidays don't help the situation but it's been since the beginning of November for them to have done it....a second request should not be needed.

Also, a pregnancy announcement on Christmas from H's cousin who got married a little over a year ago. I figured they would be trying soon after getting married so I just had a feeling that an announcement would probably be coming and I was right.

And starting after the new year my IL's want to start skyping again and discuss any updates....there aren't any and it's your way or the highway when it comes to the house as far as moving their shit (and when to come up to do it) so we could have a child in there at all so we will be looking/planning on moving. This information is not being told to them though-we will give them 30 days notice once we either find a different place to rent or buy a house and close on it. Neither one of us wants to discuss the baby or house situation with them because it's talking to a brick wall and there is no compromise on their side at all. It's not worth the headaches to deal with it.

On a positive note I think my body is maybe going to ovulate soon finally-it's only cd 57.

[peaseblossom55]

I am 11 DPO BFN today. I've been feeling miserable this past week, so tired, dizzy, sore boobs, on and off nausea/heartburn. My progesterone level was real high this cycle cycle just 5 dpo it was almost at the level 5 dpo of when I found out I was pregnant at 11dpo.

[rooskie]

Hugs butlerfan.

I started spotting on Christmas and am waiting for CD1. My sister is in town and I fully expect a pregnancy announcement.

I'm just ready for 2016 and am over the waiting game from 2015. We started testing in August and will finally maybe have a cycle we can be hopeful for in February. I keep telling DH this year will be the year.

[mustloveerica]

Nothing here. Had an amazing Christmas but now I'm dreading the announcement that SIL is pregnant (because she will be any day now). But it is what it is. The good news is with Hs holiday bonus in the bank we are ready for IVF as soon as the urologist gives us the go ahead.

[wannabmama]

butlerfan I'm so sorry you guys have to deal with such a difficult IL situation. I hope you guys can find s good place to move!
peaseblossom55 sorry for bfn
rooskie I'm with you...2016 is the year!
I can't believe 2015 is almost done and we still have no baby I remember last year during the holidays constantly thinking about how different this year's would be bc of course we'd have a baby or I'd be ready to pop...but...of course that didn't happen! MH was great about helping me enjoy the holidays even though I'm sad, I'm grateful for that. And now...I'm just excited and terrified about IVF early next year!

[daisy818]

Thanks for the check-in, cateyes!

((hugs)) butlerfan
peaseblossom55, sorry for the BFN
Sorry about CD1, rooskie, but glad to hear that you'll hopefully start being able to put all the testing to use
mustloveerica, great news on having the money ready for IVF - hope you get the go ahead soon!

AFM, I'm just waiting for a positive OPK (probably this week) so I can go in for my first round of IF testing (ultrasound/post-coital testing). Hoping I don't end up having to have testing on New Year's Day...

[mrsjene]

This holiday season was rough. I could go into at least five stories that made it rough...

But I won't. Today is a new day.

So, I wasn't scheduled for an ultrasound and blood work until New Years Day, but I called the nurse about spotting that I was having last Thursday. They had me come in this morning just to be sure the estrogen is doing its job with my lining. Just waiting for a call back. I had more bleeding last night and this morning. So annoying. On a brighter note, I do know that my lining is already at 8mm. As of right now, ET still scheduled for Jan 6th.

[Evelyn3]

I had a wonderful Christmas, aside from IF. But it is what it is.
I had a longer than usual LP, tested this morning got a really barely there line, I may be crazy. And AF showed up this afternoon. Don't know what that was about.

Now this cycle is a "waste" because RE is closed, but gives us a chance to decide if we want to go for 4th IUI, or move on to IVF at end of January.

mrsjene, all the best for transfer on Jan 6th, and hope the callback today is good news.

daisy818, hope that OPK comes through soon!

wannabmama, all the hugs, it's hard for another year to come to an end without what we wanted. Glad you are looking forward to IVF

mustloveerica, hugs, and yay for the bonus!!

rooskie, sorry for CD1. Here's to 2016 being the year!

peaseblossom55, sorry for the BFN, big hugs

butlerfan, all the hugs, and I hope you get O soon.

kawaiikitsune, +1 on that one most definitely

cateyes, thanks for the checkin and cookies!!

[teachermomtobe]

kawaiikitsune, agreed...fuck IF in general but especially at the holidays
butlerfan, sorry about the ILs and the pregnancy announcement on Christmas
wannabmama, I also am having a tough time with having no baby or pregnancy at all in 2015. This was not where I saw myself a year ago.

I found out 12/22 that I wasn't pregnant this cycle and CD1 showed up on Christmas morning. I managed to stay positive and enjoyed being distracted by family and the holidays. Now I'm off this week and finding myself in a funky head space. I am planning things to keep myself busy because sitting home and thinking isn't making things better. We are going on to IUI #2 this month but I also was told I had to schedule an appt with the RE to come up with a new plan if this cycle doesn't work. That really hit me hard for some reason. I'm also having a really hard time with it being the end of 2015. We started actively trying in May and I naively thought that even if it took us some time I'd at least be pregnant in 2015. Clearly, that didn't happen. I know compared to many others we haven't had a long IF journey but it doesn't make the sadness any less.

Advice: I am pretty sure I am going to tell my principal when I go back to school about our IF. I have had to miss a lot of days already which is very unusual for me. The stress of hiding and lying and hoping that I'm not late to school when I have early morning monitoring appts has gotten too stressful. Any tips for talking to her? My principal has a big mouth and I'm sure everyone will know but at this point I really don't even care.

[Deleted]

Dec 28, 2015 14:37:06 GMT -5 teachermomtobe said:

kawaiikitsune, agreed...fuck IF in general but especially at the holidays
butlerfan, sorry about the ILs and the pregnancy announcement on Christmas
wannabmama, I also am having a tough time with having no baby or pregnancy at all in 2015. This was not where I saw myself a year ago.

I found out 12/22 that I wasn't pregnant this cycle and CD1 showed up on Christmas morning. I managed to stay positive and enjoyed being distracted by family and the holidays. Now I'm off this week and finding myself in a funky head space. I am planning things to keep myself busy because sitting home and thinking isn't making things better. We are going on to IUI #2 this month but I also was told I had to schedule an appt with the RE to come up with a new plan if this cycle doesn't work. That really hit me hard for some reason. I'm also having a really hard time with it being the end of 2015. We started actively trying in May and I naively thought that even if it took us some time I'd at least be pregnant in 2015. Clearly, that didn't happen. I know compared to many others we haven't had a long IF journey but it doesn't make the sadness any less.

Advice: I am pretty sure I am going to tell my principal when I go back to school about our IF. I have had to miss a lot of days already which is very unusual for me. The stress of hiding and lying and hoping that I'm not late to school when I have early morning monitoring appts has gotten too stressful. Any tips for talking to her? My principal has a big mouth and I'm sure everyone will know but at this point I really don't even care.

If it's told her in confidence it shouldn't be shared with anyone else. Her doing that would equate to me going to HR and having them share my information. It is completely inappropriate.

[beckynsean11]

14dpo for IUI #6, BFFN. I'm going for an IVF consult tomorrow morning. Fuck the holidays.

Hugs to everyone!

[teachermomtobe]

@wallflwr926, I agree it's completely inappropriate but I know from what she says to me about other people that even things said in confidence do not necessarily remain that way. I will absolutely tell her that it is private and not something I want shared but I have little faith in that happening.

[Deleted]

Dec 28, 2015 15:52:57 GMT -5 teachermomtobe said:

@wallflwr926, I agree it's completely inappropriate but I know from what she says to me about other people that even things said in confidence do not necessarily remain that way. I will absolutely tell her that it is private and not something I want shared but I have little faith in that happening.

If she does, it should be reported.

*I might be a little grumpy today.

[achromia]

SPOILER: Click to show

{Click here to see more.}kawaiikitsune , I second the big FU to IF during the holidays. This is the second Christmas I had hoped/expected to be pregnant, and it blows even more the second time around.
butlerfan , I hope all goes well in locating a new/better home. I do think that not being beholden at all to your ILs will be best for you guys.
peaseblossom55 , sorry you've been feeling so crappy!
rooskie , wannabmama , teachermomtobe , and beckynsean11 , ((hugs)). Just hugs.
mustloveerica , so glad that you had a good Christmas! I'll take all the positivity I can get.
daisy818 , FX your body cooperates for testing timing!
mrsjene , I hope the estrogen is doing its thing!
Evelyn3 , sorry for the rollercoaster day.

AFM, no luck with IUI #1. I tested yesterday at 15dpiui for shits 'n' giggles and got a BFN. I called RE's office today to ask if I could skip going in for betas (why waste the $35 copay?) while I'm on vacation and just stop the estrogen and progesterone. Now just waiting for a callback and CD1, and we'll try again.

I love my family, but this trip has been emotionally hard and I will be glad to get home and back to our routine.

[Deleted]

Dec 28, 2015 15:52:57 GMT -5 beckynsean11 said:

14dpo for IUI #6, BFFN. I'm going for an IVF consult tomorrow morning. Fuck the holidays.

Hugs to everyone!

Hugs

[ceejay]

Hugs to everyone who needs them!

AFM, I'm 4 DPO in another natural cycle. H has been on CoQ10 for almost 2 months so it's possible that it's starting to have some effect (<-- wishful thinking). He's also taking fertility vitamins and Clomid. I think we will do another SA for him in March to see if there has been any improvement and then consider moving on to IVF.


I was blindsided by an IF meltdown on Christmas day. I was in a good mood most of the day and wasn't expecting to feel upset...

*** OPP and (foster) kids mentioned ***

My sister is pregnant and usually is very supportive of our IF and open to talking with me about it, but she just doesn't usually know what to say. I'm realizing now that whenever I talk about medical related aspects of IF, she ends up responding with medical related topics about her pregnancy. I think she's trying to be supportive and relate with me, but the last thing I want to be reminded of when I'm trying to open up about our IF is her pregnancy (and how quickly and easily they got pregnant). So that was upsetting to me.

The other thing that got to me was how everyone in my extended family is super excited about my sister's pregnancy and always wants to talk about it. I understand that, and I'm excited for her too. The awkward part is that MH and I recently became parents as well (in a way) with our foster sons, but people often don't know how to respond to that. So I feel like our foster kids and our status as "parents" gets slighted when everyone is way more excited about my sister's baby. I get that our foster kids aren't really "ours" and for many people it doesn't seem as significant as having a biological child. But they are ours for now and for all I know, we might never get to have a biological child, so I wish people would see the significance of our foster children for us.

So all of those thoughts were building in my head throughout the day, and out of nowhere I got annoyed about something silly and 2 minutes later I was bawling about our IF. H was supportive but I don't think he really gets it. So that was a fun ending to an otherwise nice Christmas...

tl;dr - I had an unexpected IF meltdown on Christmas day. (sorry for the long post)

[teachermomtobe]

*hugs* for you ceejay. So many hugs!

[Evelyn3]

Hugs ceejay, your foster sons are and should be just as exciting as a biological child. Sorry your family doesn't act that way about it. You are just as much parents as anyone else.

[butlerfan]

ceejay hugs-your foster sons should be recognized the same way as your sister's pregnancy is.

[lilsneezy]

Hugs all around!

Can I get an opinion on something? Do you think it makes sense to switch to another RE in the same clinic? The RE I'm currently seeing thinks CD3 blood work is "useless" and generally just doesn't listen to me or my concerns about anything. It's pretty much her way or no way and her way is clearly not working out. This is the only clinic that is covered by my insurance (treatment isn't covered, only testing) so I don't have any other options unless I want to pay OOP. I don't know if I should make an appointment with the other RE at this clinic to see if she's any better or if I should just move on completely. I don't want to waste my time with this other RE if she practices the same way but I also don't want to spend a ton of money if I don't have to. I also have this irrational fear that my RE is going to find out I'm trying to switch and get offended. And then for some reason I'll end up back in her care and things will be super awkward. Irrational, right?

[Deleted]

Dec 28, 2015 18:02:29 GMT -5 lilsneezy said:

Hugs all around!

Can I get an opinion on something? Do you think it makes sense to switch to another RE in the same clinic? The RE I'm currently seeing thinks CD3 blood work is "useless" and generally just doesn't listen to me or my concerns about anything. It's pretty much her way or no way and her way is clearly not working out. This is the only clinic that is covered by my insurance (treatment isn't covered, only testing) so I don't have any other options unless I want to pay OOP. I don't know if I should make an appointment with the other RE at this clinic to see if she's any better or if I should just move on completely. I don't want to waste my time with this other RE if she practices the same way but I also don't want to spend a ton of money if I don't have to. I also have this irrational fear that my RE is going to find out I'm trying to switch and get offended. And then for some reason I'll end up back in her care and things will be super awkward. Irrational, right?

If you are not getting satisfactory care you have every right to change doctors. I would speak to the practice manager about your concerns, if possible.

[goldenlove3]

*HUGS* to everyone who needs them.

I started estrogen yesterday and we both got blood drawn this morning for infectious disease testing. My medications should be here on Wednesday. I'm starting to freak out whenever I think about it. I can't believe we're about to start IVF. I'm keeping myself busy this week getting ready for our NYE party so that's helping but time is going by too quick.

[emilie]

thanks for the checkin cateyes !
kawaiikitsune hear hear lady. IF sucks all the time, but most of all during the holidays.
butlerfan fx for O! and sorry your doctor’s office can’t get their shit together.
peaseblossom55 sorry for the BFN.
rooskie sorry for impending CD1. hopefully this will indeed be the year for all of us!
mustloveerica yay for having your IVF money set up! I hope you’re able to move forward soon.
wannabmama hugs and hope you enjoy this little break before your IVF prep!
daisy818 nothing treats a NYE hangover like a date with the vag cam. good luck with testing!
mrsjene 8 is awesome! hope things stay on track for the 6th!
Evelyn3 well, at least this cycle will give you guys some time to work out your plans moving forward. maybe you could do an IVF consult just to look at your options and the money and everything. good luck.
teachermomtobe hugs. do you absolutely have to tell your principal the details? can you just say you’ve been dealing with some health issues that require more doctors appointments than usual? that is all you really are required to say - and if she has a big mouth, are you sure you’re prepared for all your coworkers to know?
beckynsean11 hugs, and I’m sorry for the BFN. good luck with the consult.
achromia sorry for the BFN, and good luck with IUI #2. are you doing estrogen priming?
ceejay so many huge hugs! the holidays do not make any of this easier.
pippacricket ugh, sorry about the side effects. good luck with your bloodwork and u/s.
lilsneezy you should go with whatever doctor makes you feel the most comfortable. I am sure people switch all the time. you are not just a patient, you are a customer, and you should not stay with a doctor that you feel is not addressing your concerns. good luck.
goldenlove3 very exciting! best of luck with IVF prep!

AFM, IUI #2 was a bust and we are on a natural cycle now due to travel. After O I will be starting Estrace to do estrogen priming for IUI #3 to try to get more than just one damn follicle. I am officially diagnosed in the DOR camp now, which is super fun. I am reading It Starts With the Egg and have upped my CoQ10 and just started taking DHEA today. My AFC was a miserable 4 last cycle and I would love, love love to break 10 one of these cycles, especially if we end up doing IVF.

Hugs and fx to all as always!

[Evelyn3]

Dec 28, 2015 18:02:29 GMT -5 lilsneezy said:

Hugs all around!

Can I get an opinion on something? Do you think it makes sense to switch to another RE in the same clinic? The RE I'm currently seeing thinks CD3 blood work is "useless" and generally just doesn't listen to me or my concerns about anything. It's pretty much her way or no way and her way is clearly not working out. This is the only clinic that is covered by my insurance (treatment isn't covered, only testing) so I don't have any other options unless I want to pay OOP. I don't know if I should make an appointment with the other RE at this clinic to see if she's any better or if I should just move on completely. I don't want to waste my time with this other RE if she practices the same way but I also don't want to spend a ton of money if I don't have to. I also have this irrational fear that my RE is going to find out I'm trying to switch and get offended. And then for some reason I'll end up back in her care and things will be super awkward. Irrational, right?

I would worry about the awkwardness too (because that's how I am), but I think ultimately I would switch if I felt I had to. I believe a doctor should be listening, even if they are busy, etc. and they should help address your concerns and talk it through without just blowing you off. In the end you are paying for a service and you are a customer. It's a business at the core, it just doesn't tend to feel that way at the surface level sometimes. You fully have a right to switch if you feel you aren't getting 100%.

[achromia]

Dec 28, 2015 22:40:08 GMT -5 emilie said:

*SNIP*
achromia sorry for the BFN, and good luck with IUI #2. are you doing estrogen priming?
*SNIP*

AFM, IUI #2 was a bust and we are on a natural cycle now due to travel. After O I will be starting Estrace to do estrogen priming for IUI #3 to try to get more than just one damn follicle. I am officially diagnosed in the DOR camp now, which is super fun. I am reading It Starts With the Egg and have upped my CoQ10 and just started taking DHEA today. My AFC was a miserable 4 last cycle and I would love, love love to break 10 one of these cycles, especially if we end up doing IVF.

Hugs and fx to all as always!

Thanks; I'm sorry that yours was a bust too. I don't know what my protocol will be for the next cycle, but the Estrace this time around was for lining support. I actually had "too many" follicles growing and we triggered on the evening of CD10 for a CD12 IUI, so my lining was still thin.

Having done more research, I'm now questioning whether the RE had me trigger when the follies were too small (the largest was 17.9mm at my monitoring appt, and I also had a 15.6, a 14.9, and a 12.something) or if we perhaps ought to have cancelled the cycle. I get not wanting to risk high order multiples, but it seems like all but one of those would be too small to finish maturing and actually release with the trigger timing she chose.
*shrug*

Anyway, I wish better luck next time for both you and me! Hope the estrogen priming does the trick and you get two or three follies for IUI #3!

[requiressnacks]

So many hugs W. I have no good advice, but it can be so hurtful when your "person" doesn't have your back. And trying to place blame doesn't help anything.

Have you both started testing with the RE?

[butlerfan]

W so many hugs to you.

[daisy818]

W - so many hugs. Even the best, most well-intentioned husbands can say some stupid, thoughtless things, esp. about IF, and it's okay to be hurt by it, even if you know he didn't mean it the way it came out. Be kind to yourself. Have you had a chance to talk to YH about how what he said made you feel?