I can't believe I'm saying goodbye.

[thepax89]

Jan 14, 2016 18:18:05 GMT -5 tuckaboo said:

I'm so incredibly sorry. I have also had a D&C, PM me if you want to know absolutely anything. I also did RPL testing (with 2 losses) and testing of the tissue. Sometimes you cannot get clear results from the testing, but if you can get results, you can find out the gender. I would just recommend thinking through that and talking through it with your DH. We found out the gender without wanting to, because our loss was due to a chromosomal problem that also meant the baby could only be one gender, and I found that knowledge tough to handle. Take care of yourself.

Finding out whether our angel is male or female is important to me. In my bones I know he is male, but a confirmation is amazing.

[gratefulgirl]

Jan 14, 2016 20:04:08 GMT -5 thepax89 said:

Jan 14, 2016 10:44:06 GMT -5 happyin14 said:

thepax89, I stalk this board and just saw this. I am so, so sorry. How are you doing? They can even do an u/s minutes before you go in. You get to have ABSOLUTE confirmation so that you can be okay with what's happening to your body.

I didn't have a d&c as all my losses started on their own. But I do know that it's after the doctor appointments and you are home and quiet that is hard. So have a plan - whether it's to have your favorite mac and cheese and ice cream stocked at home. Or a massage day--I did this once after Jack and ended up sobbing on the table in the most amazing cathartic way. My masseuse didn't care, I was sort of embarrassed and then totally not. I needed it. Or acupuncture where they are "trained" to help with emotions.

And I'll check in - if you want to PM me, you can at any time. And snuggle that baby. My 14 month helped me through this one SO much. He made me laugh and kept me somewhat distracted (in a good way) and gave me sloppy kisses and amazing snuggles. Sending love.

The doctor flat out refused an ultrasound this morning "I'm 1000% sure your baby is dead" she said

Bitch.


Silver lining, our hospital had an amazing burial program for my lost angel. We are so grateful.

I hope you find a new doctor. That treatment of a loss mom is 1000% unacceptable. ((Hugs)). Glad your hospital is far more understanding.

[eaglewife]

Jan 14, 2016 20:04:08 GMT -5 thepax89 said:

Jan 14, 2016 10:44:06 GMT -5 happyin14 said:

thepax89 , I stalk this board and just saw this. I am so, so sorry. How are you doing? They can even do an u/s minutes before you go in. You get to have ABSOLUTE confirmation so that you can be okay with what's happening to your body.

I didn't have a d&c as all my losses started on their own. But I do know that it's after the doctor appointments and you are home and quiet that is hard. So have a plan - whether it's to have your favorite mac and cheese and ice cream stocked at home. Or a massage day--I did this once after Jack and ended up sobbing on the table in the most amazing cathartic way. My masseuse didn't care, I was sort of embarrassed and then totally not. I needed it. Or acupuncture where they are "trained" to help with emotions.

And I'll check in - if you want to PM me, you can at any time. And snuggle that baby. My 14 month helped me through this one SO much. He made me laugh and kept me somewhat distracted (in a good way) and gave me sloppy kisses and amazing snuggles. Sending love.

The doctor flat out refused an ultrasound this morning "I'm 1000% sure your baby is dead" she said

Bitch.


Silver lining, our hospital had an amazing burial program for my lost angel. We are so grateful.

I am beyond horrified at this response, thepax89. That is a horrible horrible approach and I'm sorry that was what you were dealt today. 

I'm glad that you had the silver lining. Sending thoughts to you.

[thepax89]

You all are amazing goddesses. I'm a little loopy still clearly. But you are all super supportive and amazing. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the kind words and information. Our next step is going to be burying our kiddos, and moving on. Getting me healthy. Hopefully back to ttc in a few months. Worshipping our beautiful 14 month old and taking in her absolute sweetness.

I wish you all the happiest and healthiest 9 months.

[redhead610]

thepax89, that is so awful that the doctor said that to you. If that was your regular doctor (and not just a random at the hospital), I would definitely switch to someone who actually has a heart and knows how to treat their patients kindly. If it was someone just at the hospital, make sure that if they do any follow up surveys that you make your experience known.

[shanny]

thepax89 wow wow wow..that is so so terrible that your doctor said that. I'm so sorry you were treated that way. Sending you prayers, healing thoughts, and I hope you can keep us updated on your journey in a few months.

[dorkusmalorkus]

How incredibly awful of that doctor! I'm so, so sorry you had to deal with that. You and your family will be in my thoughts.

[Rama]

Jesus fuck, Pax. That's completely unacceptable. I'm actually ragey on your behalf. I want to throttle her.

*super mega squishy hugs* I'm glad the hospital was able to do a memorial for you. Would you be open to sharing the sex of your angel, if/when you find out? I'd love to celebrate them with you, if that's okay.

[coffeequeen14]

What a bitch. I'd report that via Yelp and any other online review mechanism. How disgusting. What a lack of compassion and empathy.

Hugs.

[musicgirl]

Wow. Just...wow. I am enraged for you. That is a horrible way to treat a mom who is going through a loss.

I am so thankful that the hospital did right by you and your sweet angel. Take good care of yourself and hold DD tight.

[happyin14]

Jan 14, 2016 20:04:08 GMT -5 thepax89 said:

Jan 14, 2016 10:44:06 GMT -5 happyin14 said:

thepax89 , I stalk this board and just saw this. I am so, so sorry. How are you doing? They can even do an u/s minutes before you go in. You get to have ABSOLUTE confirmation so that you can be okay with what's happening to your body.

I didn't have a d&c as all my losses started on their own. But I do know that it's after the doctor appointments and you are home and quiet that is hard. So have a plan - whether it's to have your favorite mac and cheese and ice cream stocked at home. Or a massage day--I did this once after Jack and ended up sobbing on the table in the most amazing cathartic way. My masseuse didn't care, I was sort of embarrassed and then totally not. I needed it. Or acupuncture where they are "trained" to help with emotions.

And I'll check in - if you want to PM me, you can at any time. And snuggle that baby. My 14 month helped me through this one SO much. He made me laugh and kept me somewhat distracted (in a good way) and gave me sloppy kisses and amazing snuggles. Sending love.

The doctor flat out refused an ultrasound this morning "I'm 1000% sure your baby is dead" she said

Bitch.


Silver lining, our hospital had an amazing burial program for my lost angel. We are so grateful.

WHAT??  This is so unacceptable.  Definitely time to find a new doctor.  FWIW, I'm sure the doctor was right.  But I'm so, so sorry that they didn't give you what you needed.  

[shehulk723]

I'm just now seeing this. So many hugs. I'm sorry for your loss.

[thechickencoop]

Fuck, I am so sorry for your loss and that you have to deal with that stupid cunt wore bitch of a doctor. {{hugs}}

[thepax89]

Jan 15, 2016 0:14:27 GMT -5 Rama said:

Jesus fuck, Pax. That's completely unacceptable. I'm actually ragey on your behalf. I want to throttle her.

*super mega squishy hugs* I'm glad the hospital was able to do a memorial for you. Would you be open to sharing the sex of your angel, if/when you find out? I'd love to celebrate them with you, if that's okay.

Yes. Absolutely. Thank you. I am really hoping to find out the sex.
We have named both of bubs already, based on the gut feeling that I had that both were boys. Confirmation will be nice.