Working Mom Check-In 2/1

[billyhorrible]

1. Are you working full time or part time? In or out of the home?
Full time outside of the home

2. How is LO doing at daycare? Uggh. Ask me another day. Today he didn't nap or take any bottles. Which isn't a problem, even when he's sick. So something's up, but I don't know what.

3. How is it going balancing work and family? Not terrible. I'm slow this month, which is nice because I now have to take off early on Wednesdays for baseball practice.

4. At this point in time, what is one great thing about being at work?
I feel like, despite how busy I am at work, I still have "me time." At home I'm constantly on, dealing with the kids, husband, house.
One challenge?Pumping. It eats up so much of my day.

[musicfrk2002]

1. Are you working full time or part time? In or out of the home? Part time right now due to being displaced from my position.

2. How is LO doing at daycare? Good as far as I can tell. He's never cried when I've dropped him off and left.

3. How is it going balancing work and family? It's going. We are seriously lacking in the cleaning around here. I have a very physical job so I'm exhausted by the time I get home at night.

4. At this point in time, what is one great thing about being at work? One challenge? Great thing- interacting with adults. Challenge- not having enough hours in a day sometimes.

5. Any additional rants/raves/questions?
Nope

[billyhorrible]

budders, When he naps from 5:30-6 do you try to put him down earlier, but he's pretty much up until 9:30? Or do you keep him up because he just woke up?

BH often falls asleep on the way home (so similarly 5:30-6 or later) and we don't usually change his bedtime. Last week when he was sick, I picked him up from daycare and just cuddled him while he slept. He woke up around 8:00pm, and then I changed him into pjs, nursed him, and popped him in bed.

[billyhorrible]

Feb 1, 2016 23:40:28 GMT -5 budders said:

We try to put him to bed at his usual time, but he is WIDE AWAKE. So we wait him out until he's finally tired enough, which seems to be 9-9:30. On weekends when he can get his naps in, we can usually get him to bed on time (like tonight, since my mom watched him today).

Yeah, that's hard.  Because keeping him up is nearly impossible, and of course if you do manage to do it, you're rewarded with a miserable baby until bedtime.

Since misery loves company, just know that I'll probably be with you on a miserable night.  I'm kind of counting on it.

[stinybean]

1. Are you working full time or part time? In or out of the home?
I'm a full time teacher.

2. How is LO doing at daycare?
DH stays home with J. It's going fine.

3. How is it going balancing work and family?
I feel like the second I walk in the door I just forget I even have a job, which is why I've had to stay later at work to get stuff done. I'm still really far behind though.

4. At this point in time, what is one great thing about being at work? One challenge?
The only great thing about work is my coworkers. I really don't enjoy work at all this year. I dread waking up and having to go there. My class is really something.

5. Any additional rants/raves/questions?
I can't wait until summer when I get to spend all my time with J. & I also can't wait to switch grades, I hope I'm can.

[kemdupuis]

Feb 1, 2016 21:36:47 GMT -5 budders said:

It's been a long time since we've had one of these!

1. Are you working full time or part time? In or out of the home?

2. How is LO doing at daycare? 

3. How is it going balancing work and family?

4. At this point in time, what is one great thing about being at work? One challenge?

5. Any additional rants/raves/questions?

1. Full time, at school.
2. B is doing great at daycare. He is sleeping/eating well, enjoys "playing" with the few other kids she has (total of 5), and seems genuinely happy to be there. I know his care provider absolutely loves him. She sends me pictures and videos several times a day, and it's great to see the updates.
3. Work and family balance is ok. I definitely want more family time, though. I feel like we barely have time together Mon-Fri, and then scramble to fit everything in on the weekends. It can be tough.
4. The kids at school are really what keeps me going. Sometimes, j really feel like they are my own, and I love being able to support them, celebrate them, and of course, watch them grow and develop as individuals. Plus, making music all day long is pretty great. The negatives: afterschool/weekend events and meetings, and all of the paperwork and legislation that we have to go through just do do our job. I hate being away from B during the day. I hate even more being away from him at times that I am usually with him.
5. All kinds of crazy stuff going on in the AL state legislature trying to tie teacher pay to performance, completely change the way we're evaluated, etc. they also just passed a bill that allows uncertified people to "teach" as "adjunct faculty" in public schools. Sounds like they are trying to cut good teachers so they don't have to pay salaries and health care. Not good for education in this state. Stuff like this really makes me consider leaving the profession. Atleast if I stayed home with B, I know I would be appreciated!

[jillywilly]

Feb 2, 2016 7:39:22 GMT -5 @bubbs119 said:

1. Are you working full time or part time? In or out of the home?
I work full time (3 days a week) out of the home.

2. How is LO doing at daycare?
Good. She struggles to nap well but otherwise she does fine. She loves her teachers but has started having some separation anxiety when I first drop her off. It makes leaving her in the morning tough.

3. How is it going balancing work and family?
It's going pretty well. My work days are long and tiring but I really like having my 2 week days off with N. I feel like I'm getting the best of both worlds, maybe just a little extra tired. I think DH and I are also starting to work out a really good system for weekends too that allow us each some alone time. It continues to be an ongoing struggle to find balance between us when it comes to doing things around the house but we communicate well so that is helpful.

4. At this point in time, what is one great thing about being at work? One challenge?
Great - getting away for some adult time to use my brain in a different way.
Challenge - I'm so tired.

5. Any additional rants/raves/questions?
I'm actually interested in what everyone's morning routine looks like. I find myself struggling some morning to get ready for work and take care of LO.

Our mornings have been thrown lately with DS waking around 6 instead of his prior 7. My alarm goes off at 5:50, so I guess the win is that we're not necessarily losing any extra sleep, but it is tough juggling a baby while trying to get out the door. Our main survival strategy is to prep as much as possible the night before - bottles are made, lunches are packed, any items for day care are packed and labelled beforehand. Then in the morning, assuming DS wakes at his earlier time, we just go with the flow and juggle him back and forth - I'll sit him in the high chair with some puffs while I eat breakfast and H showers, then he'll play with him on the living room floor with his breakfast while I run upstairs and get dressed, do hair, etc. We always just make sure to communicate if one of us has an early meeting or something we HAVE to get out the door for in advance. And we keep a rotating stash of toys in our bedroom and in the kitchen, so DS inevitably winds up playing on the floor while someone's brushing teeth or loading the dishwasher.

[mrsmonogrammed]

1. Are you working full time or part time? In or out of the home?
Full time is 37.5 hours and I work it all in 4 days (Mon-Thurs) in the office.

2. How is LO doing at daycare?
She goes to my grandparents house, and they LOVE it! It's been amazing to have family able to watch her and I definitely think it's been benefiting all of us:)

3. How is it going balancing work and family?
Sometimes it sucks. I go to sleep pretty early on "weeknights", but we've gotten into a pretty good routine by now.

4. At this point in time, what is one great thing about being at work? One challenge?
Like- I'm more conscious of my time with DD, trying to stay off of my phone/tv while she's awake and we're playing. With the exception of when she's nursing;)
Challenge- With my longer hours on the days I do work and the long commute each way I only get about 20min in the morning and an hour or so after work each day to spend with DD. That part sucks:(

5. Any additional rants/raves/questions?

[jillywilly]

1. Are you working full time or part time? In or out of the home? I work full time out of the home, but only four days a week (32 hours). I have Fridays off.

2. How is LO doing at daycare? He's doing awesome, even if he was cranky at home or on the drive there, he tends to be all smiles when we get into the classroom. He does day care two days a week. Tuesdays my MIL comes over with my 5-year old niece to watch him, and Thursdays he goes to my moms. I think sometimes the rotating schedule has hindered his napping and overall sleep, but I also think it's making him a more flexible kid long-term. Plus, he kind of gets the best of all worlds.

3. How is it going balancing work and family? Typically pretty well, I feel like we've settled into a routine, which helps me a lot. We've had a lot of illness the last couple weeks, which throws things off. Normally everyone gets home and we're eating around 5:30/6:00, with bedtime around 7. H and I try to both spend time with DS between dinner and bed, and then tackle chores once he's asleep, but being sick we've had zero motivation once DS is asleep, so the house has kind of fallen apart. Trying not to let it get to me too much though.

4. At this point in time, what is one great thing about being at work? One challenge? I think the greatest thing is that I feel like I have more of a chance to be me and not "mom" at work. I have a job that ebbs and flows in workload, so it's nice to feel like I have some free time during those ebbs. I guess see above for the current challenge - being sick, working, and taking care of a family is no joke.

5. Any additional rants/raves/questions? This time of year depresses me - the holidays are long gone, and the next holiday isn't until Good Friday. My next vacation is the week before Memorial Day and that feels forever away. Hoping that even though I can't really complain about this winter, the weather gets nice again soon so we can at least start spending more time outside again.

[heartofglass]

1. Are you working full time or part time? In or out of the home?
- Part time 3-4 days a week out of the home

2. How is LO doing at daycare?
-A hates daycare from what I can see. His daily reports always say very fussy and he is normally crying when I pick him and he has started crying when I drop him off. He drinks maybe half of his normal intake on daycare days (probably why he's fussy) and there is no way he's napping like they tell me he is because he's always exhausted when I pick him up. My aunt was keeping him the first month and half I went back to work and he was great during that time.

3. How is it going balancing work and family?
-MH's schedule rotates from nights to days evey few weeks. When he's on nights all the next day prep plus taking care of A falls on me and it gets pretty tiring. He tries to help in the mornings though. Basically with me working we have no family time until the weekends.

4. At this point in time, what is one great thing about being at work? One challenge?
-Good: money and adult conversations.
-Challenge: missing A and feeling awful knowing he's not happy at daycare

5. Any additional rants/raves/questions?
-MH and I are both fed up with our current situation. We're only coming ahead about $200 each month since adding in daycare bills with me working. And with A being sick all the time were now losing money each month. So we're trying to move and I'll just stay at home with A until he starts school.

[mrsmonogrammed]

@bubbs119 our morning routine probably isn't very helpful because DD isn't awake until the end, but I wake up at 5:15 and get myself ready for the day, pack my lunch, pack up bottles for daycare, and pack up pump parts/bottles all while DD is asleep. If I'm running behind H will go in to wake her up around 6:00 while I'm finishing things in the kitchen. Otherwise after I'm done packing everything I'll go wake up DD, change her diaper and put her into her clothes for the day, then nurse her and then we're out the door by 6:20.

Morning are rushed in our house, but it helps that DD sleeps while I'm busy getting ready! If for some random reason she wakes up before 6, I'll pause whatever I'm doing and go do her "routine" of changing and feeding before I go back to my own things. I can then hand her off to DH while I finish or I throw her in the high chair and give her a few puffs/ yogurt melts to keep her busy for a few minutes while I finish packing things.

[iowamama615]

1. Are you working full time or part time? In or out of the home? Part-time (25 hours), out of the home. Plus side being that I work at a bank, so the hours are more palatable than when I worked retail.

2. How is LO doing at daycare? A loves daycare. DH's aunt and uncle watch him for a couple hours during the day when schedules overlap. I'm pretty sure that A loves them more than us some days.

3. How is it going balancing work and family? Any "balance" issues we had were there pre-baby. I typically am working 8-5, and DH works 2nd shift, so weekends are when we see each other the most. Even though it's difficult sometimes, I almost prefer it right now, because A is with one of us for 90% of the time.

4. At this point in time, what is one great thing about being at work? One challenge? Great thing- I consider it to be my "me time." I get to have adult conversations and I genuinely enjoy being around the women I work with. Challenge- I miss a lot of the hours that A is awake, and we don't get much time together at night because he goes to bed shortly after I get him home from daycare.

5. Any additional rants/raves/questions? Why is it so difficult for my DH to have a clean bottle waiting for me when I get home with A? This may be the biggest point of contention in our household.

[Widget123]

1. Full time, out of house.

2. Good.  They have changed a lot of rules since DD was in the infant/pre-toddler room, so I need to start reading up on how they handle the transition to sippy cups and their real food menu, because I'm sure its probably different now, and I can't count on them to bend the rules like the teachers used to do with DD.

3. Some days I have been coming home really late.  I don't feel guilty about it because I know I spend plenty of time with my kids, but DH gives me a hard time about it sometimes.  We live pretty far away from most of the local jobs, including mine.

4. I get so much me time at work.  I can go out to eat with friends, go shopping during lunch, etc. 

A challenge is balancing the need to get work done by a certain date and becoming unavailable because of weather delays/closings or child illnesses.  I wish I could enjoy those days away from the office, but it is hard to because I think about all of the things that I was planning on /should be doing, and how I am now behind schedule.  I also wish I didn't have to spend so much of my leave on those kinds of days and could take more leave to do the things I want to do when I want to do them.

5. See #4.

[alayne926]

1. Are you working full time or part time? In or out of the home? Full time outside of the home

2. How is LO doing at daycare? She's doing pretty good, except she really only catnaps so she's a bear by the end of the day. She's always in a good mood for them, though, so that's better than being a bear for them.

3. How is it going balancing work and family? Eh...it's hard now with two kids. I feel like the first part of the evening is spent getting S fed and settled before I can give DS the attention that he needs and it's causing some behavior issues for him. Lately, DH has been working nights, so we can't split attention between two kids.

4. At this point in time, what is one great thing about being at work? I love that I have a job that allows me to work independently for the most part. I have adult time with the doctor at work and we can grab food or run to Target on lunch. One challenge? Since we're a small office, there's not really anyone to cover for me if one of the kids get sick, so I have to reschedule patients if one of the kids has a doctor appointment or gets sick.

5. Any additional rants/raves/questions? Just glad I'm not the only one with some of the challenges

[missjenniebean]

1. Part full time. I'm a part timer who they work full time hours for the most part.

2. She LOVES daycare. Drop her off and she's all smiles, plus she eats like a queen there.

3. Sometimes the balance is difficult bc we are all so tired but going well I think.

4. Getting out of the house is a good thing, I guess. Challenge, missing V all day long.

5. The part full time thing is annoying. Only work me full time if there is a reason. Or make me full time and give me the benefits.

[missjenniebean]

heartofglass - I'm sorry he doesn't like daycare. how long has he been going ?

[veggiemo]

1. Full time, out of the home

2. No daycare. DS1 is watched by my mom, H and in-laws. LO is watched by my mom and H, and then I bring him to work with me twice a week. It's getting super stressful to bring him and I'm not really sure what to do. In-laws aren't thrilled with the idea of taking on another baby but are pushovers and would probably say yes if we asked.

3. Seems to be fine, but we've been balancing for 3.5 years by now, so it's just become the norm. Adding another LO into the mix didn't really change any of that.

4. The great is getting a break from the kids and time to re-set. Challenge is finding care for both kids.

[beersandweirs]

1. Are you working full time or part time? In or out of the home?
Full time outside the house

2. How is LO doing at daycare?
She is doing really well at her nanny's, she is the only one the nanny watches, so I know she gets all the attention she would at home. The nanny seriously has more baby stuff than we do, so I know she has a lot of fun there, she also naps really well. Overall, we are so happy we have found her!

3. How is it going balancing work and family?

I think it is actually going pretty well, we have settled into a nice routine.

4. At this point in time, what is one great thing about being at work? One challenge?
The great thing is having some me time. The challenge really comes from not enjoying my job.

5. Any additional rants/raves/questions?
I really don't enjoy what I am doing right now, but I am able to be flexible with my schedule and the location works out really well for nanny drop-offs, so I am having a crisis of faith about finding another job and making those things more difficult.

[dmoney]

1. Are you working full time or part time? In or out of the home? Working full time out of the house.

2. How is LO doing at daycare? LO LOVES day care!! Because DH isnt working full time she is only there 2 half days a week right now just to hold our spot (there is a waiting list to get in). But when she is there is loves it and the pictures we get are all from her playing with her friends

3. How is it going balancing work and family? Its hard. Im used to working late at the office and then going home and doing more work. Now i find my self staying a little late (maybe 30 minutes) and then not doing work at home, but logging in on the weekends to get more stuff done)

4. At this point in time, what is one great thing about being at work? One challenge? I love the social interaction and working with other new moms and talking to them when different things arise. Challenge is the dip in my supply. If i get 3 ounces pumped a day I scream in joy!

5. Any additional rants/raves/questions? I wish I could bring the baby to the office so that I could just nurse her all day long and forget the horrid pump!

[belle0720]

1. Are you working full time or part time? In or out of the home?

Full Time out of the house (finance job) and Part Time in and out of the house (wedding job)

2. How is LO doing at daycare?

H, ILs, and my SIL are watching her right now. She loves everyone and they love spending time with her. Everyone always says what an easy baby she is. Hope she stays the same as she gets older! Starting in March my mom is retiring and will be watching her and I'm really excited for them to have that time together.

3. How is it going balancing work and family?

Not bad at all with my finance job. I work a 9/80 schedule so I work 9 hour days and have every other Friday off. I love my Friday off with her and I rarely work late. Wedding stuff is what keeps me away from her on weekends sometimes and working on stuff at home in the evenings which is annoying but I try to just do it when she's sleeping.

4. At this point in time, what is one great thing about being at work? One challenge?

It feels good to be doing something that doesn't revolve around Baby G. Don't get me wrong, my world revolves around her and I love it, she's my everything. But my brain was going a little dead staying at home with her every day. Also, feels good to have a paycheck again. It feels really good.

5. Any additional rants/raves/questions?

Rant: MIL makes me stabby. She doesn't seem to like the way we do things and purposely disregards things we tell her. She doesn't think we have enough clothes for LO (which is NUTS, LO has a LARGE wardrobe with clothes all the way up to 2T!). She always finds a reason not to like the outfits that I pick out for her (I love fashion. I love buying cute clothes for my daughter. I'm good at it. She should look in the mirror). H was explaining to her about our cloth diapers for the hundredth time (she thinks we put them on too tight, but we don't!). I've sent her fit videos and explained to her that if she doesn't put them on right she's chancing a blowout (come to find out when I did the laundry the next day, she did have a blowout). Her and H actually got in an argument about it where he explained that she was doing it wrong and she shouted, "No you're doing it wrong!". No lady, we're not. We're her parents. We've been doing this Every. Single. Day for the past 7 months. But sure you know better because you've babysat her 4 times. I could go on and on ranting but I'll stop now.  

Rave: I love how excited she gets when she sees me walk in the door. Her eyes and mouth get wide and she holds her arms out to me upside down, it's just the cutest. I never want to forget it!

Question: How's everyone doing with pumping? Last week and so far this week I've had to add in an extra pumping session when I get home to pump as much as she's drinking during the day which is kind of annoying.

[heartofglass]

Feb 2, 2016 10:30:19 GMT -5 missjenniebean said:

heartofglass - I'm sorry he doesn't like daycare. how long has he been going ?

He's been going four months now and it has been like this since the beginning. He was a little better right before Christmas, but then we were on break for two weeks and going back was worse than ever. It breaks my heart.

[tjanca22]

1. Are you working full time or part time? In or out of the home? I work full time out of the home.

2. How is LO doing at daycare? I think he really enjoys it. We always get a good report at the end of the day, and he's never cried when DH or I have dropped him off or picked him up. Our sitter really likes him and we get updates throughout the day, which I really like.

3. How is it going balancing work and family? Its hard some days. I feel like a lot of housework gets put on the back burner, but now that I'm accepting this fact, the balance between work and family isn't so bad. I think it also helps that I have off on Friday (I work 10 hour days Mon-Thurs), so this allows me to clean either on Friday or Saturday and still feel like I have two weekend days to devote to family.

4. At this point in time, what is one great thing about being at work? One challenge?
Good - I love the people I work with and get to have adult conversations.
Challenge - I need to be out the door at 4pm sharp to do pickup, so work that isn't done gets left to the next morning. A lot of self-talk on my part to not feel bad about this.

5. Any additional rants/raves/questions? I'm not sure where to put this rant, so I'm putting it here. I need some advise.
The sitter texted DH and I yesterday saying that she has been pureeing the food that we've been sending E for breakfast and lunches and either adding breast milk or oatmeal to thin/thicken it. She wants to play it safe so he doesn't choke while at her house.
This means that she's been doing this for a month and this whole time that I've been cutting food into pieces, she just pureed it for him. I honestly don't know if I'm mad about this; I'm still processing how I should react and what I want to say to her. Its just really caught me off guard. I'd really like for him to get practice with pieces of food, but am surprised that she took it upon herself to make the call to puree food without telling us or asking about it first. Am I making too much out of this? Was it wrong for me to just assume that he'd be eating the food the way that I sent it?

[beersandweirs]

For those sending purees to daycare, but giving pieces of food at home, when do you decide baby is ready to have pieces at daycare as well? When they stop gagging or can feed themselves a good amount on their own, etc?

[gigi3126]

stinybean Life twins!

1. Are you working full time or part time? In or out of the home? Full time teacher

2. How is LO doing at daycare? He loves it! And his teachers love him. H and I joke that the director is going to abduct him because she loves him so much.

3. How is it going balancing work and family? It's hard, but there are times that I just walk away from the work. I used to bring home mountains of grading (HS English teacher), and now I'm just like, "it can wait".

4. At this point in time, what is one great thing about being at work? One challenge?
I have great coworkers and being at work makes me way more appreciative of the time I spend with LO and H.
The transition to a new school had been challenging. I miss my students from my old campus and I miss feeling important. I'm just one of many here.

5. Any additional rants/raves/questions?
Here's a video of Jude at DC that they sent me this morning! He's a maniac!
vimeo.com/153946007

[tjanca22]

beersandweirs, we started sending pieces of food when I saw that he was picking the majority of food up on his own and getting most of it into his mouth. Its rare that he gags on something and his pincer grasp is good. I just make sure to cut things up really really small, smaller than what I would give if he were at home with me.

[missjenniebean]

Feb 2, 2016 11:51:09 GMT -5 heartofglass said:

Feb 2, 2016 10:30:19 GMT -5 missjenniebean said:

heartofglass - I'm sorry he doesn't like daycare. how long has he been going ?

He's been going four months now and it has been like this since the beginning. He was a little better right before Christmas, but then we were on break for two weeks and going back was worse than ever. It breaks my heart.

Aww poor buddy and it would break my heart as well. Think he'll warm up?

[Widget123]

Eeek tjanca22. I would be peeved.

beersandweirs, I think for DD we waited until 10 months-ish or so. I don't know about LO other than I definitely feel like he isn't ready yet. I guess some degree of independence when eating would be nice. But we went with purees first vs. BLW.

[billyhorrible]

budders, I think I've said it before, but I definitely don't think that all jobs are "equal" in terms of stress. One of my best friends is a middle school teacher and we were just talking about that this weekend. Its a very high stress job when you're dealing with kids all day, then home dealing with your own kids. And you have the added stress of dealing with children who have special needs. It ups the ante.

One of my clients loves to tell me how appreciative he is of me, and the time I take away from my family to help him. And I'm not doing the lord's work over here. I think, and I'm obviously an outsider, that what you lack in "me time" you make up in the role you play. Your job is so much more important, and you touch lives in a more impactful way. You make the impossible possible for a lot of these kids. And when those days get especially rough, I think it's okay to remind yourself of that - or let someone else remind you.

[belle0720]

tjanca22 I would be mad. She should have approached you about being nervous giving LO pieces of food before taking it upon herself to start pureeing it. Not cool.

[billyhorrible]

belle0720, I'm going to give you the exact same advice I gave my brother, so if it sounds harsh, know it comes from a good place (and in his case I was talking about our mom!).

Having family watch your kids is really really difficult. It's not the same as hiring someone, because you don't have that employee/employer relationship. So your MIL is never going to do everything you want her to, in the way you want her to do it. She doesn't look at you as her boss, she looks at you as kids and obviously she knows better than kids. I'm not siding with her, or saying she's right, but it's going to be a constant struggle.

You need to decide whether these issues are things you can live with or not. And if they're not, the only way around it is to find different childcare.