I'm having one of those days where I feel like a complete failure of a mom and wife. Long story short here it goes.
From birth-4 months I think my baby was a good sleeper and slept in the crib and the RNP Then we sold our house 4-7 months Moved to a new place. Baby woke up a lot more but still I was able to put her in the crib
Starting around 7 months of age it's like a switch flipped and she hates her crib and would wake up every 2 hours so I had a full break down and started having her sleep in bed w me and then H started sleeping on the couch or in our guest room At 8 months we moved again then at 10 months we just moved again. Is all this moving around making my baby a bad sleeper? Last night I tried again to put her in the crib and she cried hysterically and she just won't be comforted. H tries to w no success which is surprising considering w DS he was really good at soothing him.
I'm getting so tired of bedsharing. I was considering setting up a twin mattress next to our bed and just baby proofing the room since she is ok sleeping it's just the act of transferring her down and into a crib that is waking her up
Kristykristyleelee , no advice, but DS has been fighting the going to sleep HARD lately, and I don't rock him to sleep. I used to have a horrible sleeper who was a champion at just going to sleep when I put him in his crib, now I have neither. I'm blaming our recent explosion in mobility. @poppyc8 , I'm sorry. The thing that scares me over everything else with our upcoming move later this year will be that it screws up sleep for DS.
I have a very cyclical sleeper - we'll have a few good nights where he only wakes once for a bottle around 3/4/5 a.m., and then we have nights like last night where he cried a couple times but settled back down until 1, after which, I was up solidly until 4. DS would not settle until like, 2/2:30 when H went into his room and rocked him, which also was part of a huge fight we had. He finally went down, and slept until 5:30, 20 minutes before my alarm, and then back down again until I got him up around 7. Nights like that I just want to cry.
We've done some modified sleep training, which had helped us immensely. I've also tried reducing the oz in his night bottles to try and wean him, but if he doesn't get at least a solid 4 oz, he usually screams and refuses to go back down, so I'm just at a loss. I know biologically he should be able to go all night now without a feeding, but I don't know if I have it in me to force the night weaning. I just keep hoping now that he's more active, increasing his solids, and getting closer to his first birthday he'll get there on his own. Every time we seem to make progress though, we get a cold, or suspected teething, or something seems to derail us and set us back again.
Sorry for the novel, I needed to get that out. Sleep has become a huge frustration in our house, and I feel like I've tried all the tricks other than the for real CIO where you literally don't go in to check on your baby - I don't have it in me to do that.
I'm getting so tired of bedsharing. I was considering setting up a twin mattress next to our bed and just baby proofing the room since she is ok sleeping it's just the act of transferring her down and into a crib that is waking her up
No matter how deep of a sleep she is in, she will wake up no matter what? What if you rock her for like 45 minutes with her solidly sleeping, then transfer her? I know rocking her for that long isnt ideal, but maybe it would help get out of the bedsharing?
We actually don't have a rocking chair since we've moved so much. We did used to have one initially so I'm thinking you have a good point. Now I feel like an idiot for not trying this earlier!
I did read recently that from 9-12 months they go through an explosion of new skills so I also wonder if the moving and combination of learning skills messes w her sleep or ability to stay asleep
We're bedsharing 95% of the time. Sometimes we start her out for the night in the crib, but it's so much easier for me just to have her next to me when she wakes up. She still wakes up 2-3 times/night, but she goes down easy and falls right back to sleep after nursing her or sometimes just rubbing her back a little.
As long as she's not crying her head off and staying awake in the middle of the night, I'm totally fine with her waking up to nurse. We also kind of love having her in our bed and I don't even care that she doesn't sleep in her crib. I just feel like we're "supposed to" try to get her to sleep in there so I give it a shot on nights when I don't have to work the next day.
I'm so sick of people asking if she STTN and if she's in her crib, and just feeling like I have to explain our decision to bedshare and that we haven't night weaned her. I love breastfeeding and that I'm able to soothe her back to sleep in just a few seconds. And I love her sweet little cuddles and waking up right next to her. I'm pretty sure she'll be out of our bed and off of the boob before college.
Post by carolyngrace on Apr 4, 2016 18:23:02 GMT -5
Even though we don't bedshare, I'm just sitting here reading your posts and nodding in solidarity. As long as you are happy with it, there's nothing wrong with it! You will make the transition eventually.
@poppyc8, I don't see anything wrong with a twin mattress on the floor next to you for the time being!
My sister rocked her oldest to sleep every night until he was about 14-15 months or so. I remember babysitting and having to rock him FOREVER and then slowly and gradually lower into his crib. Then he'd wake up and you'd repeat it all over again. Eventually they decided to "train" him and did a lot of happy time in the crib during the day combined with some crying at night. It worked within a few weeks. Nothing is forever!
budders Don't get me wrong, I will be thrilled when she STTN! But when that happens I know I'll still wake in the MOTN sometimes and get sentimental about when she "needed" me more.
Post by carolyngrace on Apr 4, 2016 18:25:19 GMT -5
Oscar is still waking up at 3:30am (almost on the dot) every night to nurse. Most nights he then sleeps until 6:30am and is up for the day, but sometimes randomly he's up at 5am to nurse again. The nice part is that when he nurses two times he generally sleeps in later!
I'd like to wean him from the 3:30 feeding, but honestly it's so easy (like a lot of you were saying) and I appreciate the snuggles. I already weaned him from the earlier feedings and it was so hard to hear him crying in the night and not go to him. Definitely was effective though.
Post by billyhorrible on Apr 4, 2016 18:26:24 GMT -5
Kristykristyleelee and @poppyc8, Transitions are funny. On the one hand, kids are fantastic at transitions, sometimes better than adults because they're so flexible and new. On the other, I do think it can affect their sleep until they get used to a "new place." Maybe the combination is just that they get comfortable sooner than an adult?
@poppyc8, I don't think your issues have anything to do with you as a mom. We haven't moved at all in the past 9 months, and BH is so similar to your daughter. AMAZING sleeper for the first 4 months. Anywhere and didn't need to be asleep before I set him down. After that, he needed to be fully out. He's completely unpredictable with sleep too, one weekend he was up every 45 minutes. Other nights he'll sleep all the way till morning.
Kristykristyleelee,we don't do cry it out, but I something similar to you. If BH doesn't fall asleep right away, I'll put him in the crib and go get DH to tag him in. Usually the combo of me leaving him, and DH's "fresh" demeanor works for us.
Something we learned with LBB is that when your anxiety over the kid not falling asleep starts rising, the other parent should come in. I do think babies read that anxiety and it winds them up, so trading to someone calmer helps them relax. Which sounds totally woo-ey, but works for us.
Post by heartofglass on Apr 4, 2016 19:44:32 GMT -5
Well I'm writing this while laying under my LO so here goes....
I've rarely had a problem getting A to sleep at night so I can't help there (knock on wood). He normally nurses to sleep in about 20 minutes (I'm very anxious about weaning in the future because of this)And although he wakes up during the night he's not really awake. I can nurse, cuddle or rock him and he goes right back to sleep. I am very thankful that he's not up and ready to play during the night.
He STTN from about 1-4 months swaddled in the pack n play and we could lay him down at anytime. Then around the time I went back to work/rolling so no more swaddle the night wake ups started. From about 4-7 months we were up every two hours all night long. And the only way A would sleep was in my arms so we'd go to the couch because I didn't feel comfortable in the bed with H when A was so small.
Teething also started for us around 5-6 months so I think that had a big part to do with wake ups along with constant ear infections. Here's where we added in that I couldn't lay him down until I went to bed because he'd be awake within 30 minutes. So I just hold him until I go to sleep (which I really don't mind right now).
We made the sidecar crib so I would have easy access and so we could work on getting him back to sleeping by himself some. It butts up to our mattress so I can put him down without worrying about him rolling somewhere. He starts off in the sidecar every night and normally wakes about 11-12 and I pull him into bed with me or he crawls onto me. Sometimes he sleeps in the crook of my arm all night and others I'm able to put him back on his bed for an hour or two.
Thankfully H is fine with bed sharing because I honestly love it. He's getting better now and giving me a longer first stretch of sleep, sometimes going until 3-4 before his first wake up and then he nurses right back to sleep. I love the snuggles and having him close is much easier than a conventional crib.
TL;DR My kid wont sleep alone so I hold him; we bed share and it works for us. We have a sidecar crib and I'm just thankful he's not fully awake MOTN.
I was just freaking out about B's sleep last night. She rarely sleeps in her crib, can't put herself to sleep and refuses to sleep anywhere but with me in bed. She will STTN in our bed but not her crib. I like having her in bed but I'm scared about going back to work soon and not nursing her to sleep for naps. She will not take a bottle so I'm stressing about it and it's still 2 months away.
Post by musicfrk2002 on Apr 5, 2016 0:56:36 GMT -5
We used to have to hold J after his last bottle until he was very very asleep, otherwise he would spit up all over his bed and then we would have to start all over.
Then whenever he stopped spitting up, probably around 5 or 6 months, we were able to lay him down and he would just go to sleep, only on his stomach.
Now he is sitting up in his crib, so that doesn't work. I'm not sure what H does during the week since I'm at work, but on the weekends I usually feed him, then put him in his crib and turn on the "5 minutes of bedtime music" on Scout, and he talks to it and a couple other toys, sometimes cries, then eventually passes out. Once in awhile he will fall asleep on one of us, but rarely.
I had a hack of a time getting him to sleep on the plane yesterday. He drunk himself to sleep with his bottle and the engine noise but was wide awake after about half an hour. Had a heck of a time getting him to fall asleep at our relatives' house, and then he woke up not long after. He finally fell back asleep but was up waaaay to early, IMO, since he only slept for 7 hours total, whereas at home it's 10-11. I guess this afternoon while he was with MIL he took a 2.5+ hour nap, and she woke him up because she thought he had been sleeping too long. He was rubbing his eyes 2 hours later, but refused to nap.
Something we learned with LBB is that when your anxiety over the kid not falling asleep starts rising, the other parent should come in. I do think babies read that anxiety and it winds them up, so trading to someone calmer helps them relax. Which sounds totally woo-ey, but works for us.
Tag-teaming DS in the MOTN right now is the only thing keeping us sane. He used to be the kid that would wake up, eat, and go right back down in like, 10 minutes. Last night we were up for 45 minutes. Not as bad as it could be, but still. I don't know what changed. It used to be that if he fussed, we would go into his room, rub his back a minute and tell him to go back to sleep, and he would. Now he just screams hysterically and will NOT put himself down, so we get into the cycle of picking him up until he finally decides one time he goes back in the crib he can go back to sleep, with DH and I alternating turns. Separation anxiety maybe? I'm hoping it's a passing phase whatever it is, because if we try to let him work it out on his own, he just ramps up the hysterics, and I can't leave him like that in his crib on his own.
C was up every hour starting at 1:30. Around 6:15 I finally brought him in to bed with me. Seriously! Last week he STTN almost everyday. Bring on the coffee and a good morning nap- this mama is tired.
I think what's the most maddening is how inconsistent her sleeping is. Friday night she slept 10.5 hours, Saturday it was a 7 hour stretch...then last night she was up twice. Sometimes she fights sleep and she stays up later. One thing that's for sure is that she's always up between 5-6 am, even if she pushes her bedtime back an hour. It's maddening!
Post by beersandweirs on Apr 5, 2016 10:06:07 GMT -5
This might be a little long, so I apologize in advance.
We have a weekend getaway planned in June with the baby and we are bringing my parents along to babysit. We plan to have baby sleep in the pack and play in the bathroom (less light, her own space). However, lately when we have been putting her down in the pack and play at grandparents' houses for naps, she has just lost it. She would eventually fall asleep, but only for like 30 minutes, and when we would go back in there to get her out, she was a mess for a while after also.
She sleeps pretty well at home, so I think it is a combo of pack and play and an unknown place. My question is, how can I ease this transition for her to be in a new place and the pack and play for a whole weekend? Should I try putting the pack and play in her crib and getting her used to it like that? Should we take another weekend trip before this one and see if taking her with us will even be an option? Should I stop worrying about it because it is two months away and a lot can change in that time? HALP!
P is never ever going to STTN. Fuck anyone whose LO is sleeping soooooooo great. I love you. But fuck you.
That is all.
My BFF's June baby has been sleeping through the night since basically her birth. I love her, but every single time she sees us and asks "how's Wally sleeping?" I want to slug her in her well rested face. He's not sleeping. Yes, it sucks. Yup, I'm tired. Yeah, we've tried a bunch of stuff to get him to sleep. Can we move on now?
Post by beersandweirs on Apr 5, 2016 11:08:35 GMT -5
Thank you michyme123. Unfortunately baby doesn't sleep with anything in her crib, so I don't know what we would put in there. We are trying to get her attached to a lovey, but she is not attached yet. Maybe this will help be the push to get her attached.
We ended up putting the twin mattress on the floor next to our bed and it's in a corner so it has walls pretty much on all sides except for one and she slept till 12 on her own! It was so much easier to put her to sleep the way too. Then I set up the baby moniter. For the first time in 3 months I was able to stay up watching TV w only H and we had sexy time. Feeling so much better today about the sleep situation.
P is never ever going to STTN. Fuck anyone whose LO is sleeping soooooooo great. I love you. But fuck you.
That is all.
My BFF's June baby has been sleeping through the night since basically her birth. I love her, but every single time she sees us and asks "how's Wally sleeping?" I want to slug her in her well rested face. He's not sleeping. Yes, it sucks. Yup, I'm tired. Yeah, we've tried a bunch of stuff to get him to sleep. Can we move on now?
I love it when people make suggestions. As if I haven't tried that. No... I like not sleeping so we don't care if he's up all night. OF COURSE WE'VE TRIED! Just pass me some damn coffee and eye bag cream and STFU.
So, because we were busy this morning DD never got her morning nap in. Which was fine, because she was content. But when we got home I easily got her down for her nap, and now for like the first time since she was a newborn, both of my kids are down at the same time and have been for awhile. In my head I think it's too early to drop a nap but...nap time never goes this well (and who knows, maybe it's a fluke. But DS has been having some mega fear of missing out lately when she's not napping which has disrupted his afternoon nap as of late and he still needs it based on how tired he gets.) I would actually be ok with this if it continues to work out, even if I have the nagging voice in the back of my head saying she needs 2 naps yet. I know every kid and situation is different though.
Thank you michyme123. Unfortunately baby doesn't sleep with anything in her crib, so I don't know what we would put in there. We are trying to get her attached to a lovey, but she is not attached yet. Maybe this will help be the push to get her attached.
Familiar sound? We bring our noise machine when we travel. Or start using some kind of projected lights and brig that... I wouldn't put the PnP in the crib lol. If anything use the PnP at home.
Thank you michyme123. Unfortunately baby doesn't sleep with anything in her crib, so I don't know what we would put in there. We are trying to get her attached to a lovey, but she is not attached yet. Maybe this will help be the push to get her attached.
Familiar sound? We bring our noise machine when we travel. Or start using some kind of projected lights and brig that... I wouldn't put the PnP in the crib lol. If anything use the PnP at home.
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