Post by rachelilly23 on Apr 20, 2016 14:18:18 GMT -5
K usually goes down around 9:30/10, and sleeps until 7ish, waking up at 3 or 4 to eat. Last night was all kinds of strange because se napped from 6:30 to 9:30 yesterday. I woke her to eat and she went back to sleep until 2, ate, then back to sleep until 5, ate, then back to sleep until 7. I prefer trying to keep her up until closer to when I go to bed, but she needed that nap. We'll move bedtime up a little later.
So I. usually goes down around 10-11, wakes up around 3-4 to eat, sleeps again until we get up at 7 (I sort of wake her up to change her and she usually wants to eat after that) and then naps for another 2-3 hours in the morning.
I see that she's heading towards a 12-14 hour night with 1-2 wakeups, but I don't know how to transition her to get the maximum mom sleep possible.
She starts looking sleepy around 8, so we could probably put her down then, but I'm selfish and I like going to bed with her at 10 or 11 so I can get that 4-5 hour stretch of sleep whenever I can, since I'm working again and I'm sofaking tired. (FWIW, she is a super mellow baby and often goes down in her bassinet pretty quickly with a little pacifier time and some grunting, but no tears.)
Should I put her down at 8, assuming she'll get up at 1 and it will cut into my sleep, or let her sit up with us until 10 or 11 like we have been, so she gets up at 3 or 4? Does it matter? And should I leave her alone in the mornings to sleep in, or is it cool to change and feed her since she goes back down for another nap quickly? (It always seems like time to change her diaper by the time we wake up...)
She probably weighs less than 10lb, so we may have a ways to go on actually STTN (the 11-13lb thing), but I want to do what I can to get her more on a longer nighttime sleep schedule, for her sake and for mine. Honestly, if I could get one 6-hour stretch, I would be happy to keep waking up to feed her and going back to sleep, etc. I just cannot function at work with 3, 4, even 5 hours at a time. The nights I've gotten to 6 I feel like a totally different person.
We are also considering switching from her bassinet next to our bed to a crib in a nook about 10 feet outside our bedroom door. Has anyone switched to crib yet? She's napping in it now and seems perfectly happy to be there, but I know the recommendation is that she be in our room until 6 months.
LO did not take his afternoon. He was so fussy. He usually will take his morning nap from 10-12 then his afternoon nap from 1-3 and sometimes a third nap from 5-7 but yesterday he was up from 1230-8:30. He was so tired. He finally went to bed at 830. He was up by 1 for a feeding and change. And then again at 4 and woke up at 730. I hope this doesn't become a habit.
adorebel have you tried a dream feed when you go down? We put LO down around 8 when she is tired, and then when I go to bed around 10 and I do a dream feed. It's only been a few days of doing this but it seems to work. She doesn't usually wake up all the way for the feed but she eats some and then I put her back down. So far her longest stretch has been after the dream feed each time. It's shortened a little from what it was but it seems to be building back up and it feels longer to me bc I am asleep for all of it.
adorebel have you tried a dream feed when you go down? We put LO down around 8 when she is tired, and then when I go to bed around 10 and I do a dream feed. It's only been a few days of doing this but it seems to work. She doesn't usually wake up all the way for the feed but she eats some and then I put her back down. So far her longest stretch has been after the dream feed each time. It's shortened a little from what it was but it seems to be building back up and it feels longer to me bc I am asleep for all of it.
I guess this is what we are doing, since she falls asleep with us in the living room around 8 and then I change and feed her between 10 and 11 and she sort of wakes up but not really... However, it's not lengthening the first stretch of sleep. If she goes down at 8 it seems like she's up by 1, even with a feeding at 10 or 11. Maybe it would help if I really tried putting her down in her own space at 8 and keeping her really sleepy (no diaper change) for the feed?
adorebel have you tried a dream feed when you go down? We put LO down around 8 when she is tired, and then when I go to bed around 10 and I do a dream feed. It's only been a few days of doing this but it seems to work. She doesn't usually wake up all the way for the feed but she eats some and then I put her back down. So far her longest stretch has been after the dream feed each time. It's shortened a little from what it was but it seems to be building back up and it feels longer to me bc I am asleep for all of it.
I guess this is what we are doing, since she falls asleep with us in the living room around 8 and then I change and feed her between 10 and 11 and she sort of wakes up but not really... However, it's not lengthening the first stretch of sleep. If she goes down at 8 it seems like she's up by 1, even with a feeding at 10 or 11. Maybe it would help if I really tried putting her down in her own space at 8 and keeping her really sleepy (no diaper change) for the feed?
I'm almost exactly in this same situation. L has been going to bed in the 8 o clock hour too. I may try the dream feed and see if that makes him sleep until 3-4... That would be amazing! I do put him in his bassinet in the bedroom at that 8 time as well instead of in the living room like I do during the day.
Me:28 DH:31 TTC since Dec 2012 IUI #1 with Clomid Jan 2015= BFN IVF #1 14R/10M/8F; 2 eggs frozen, 7 frosties March 2015 FET #1 Transferred 1 embryo April 2015= BFN FET #2 Transferred 1 embryo June 2015= ?
adorebel have you tried a dream feed when you go down? We put LO down around 8 when she is tired, and then when I go to bed around 10 and I do a dream feed. It's only been a few days of doing this but it seems to work. She doesn't usually wake up all the way for the feed but she eats some and then I put her back down. So far her longest stretch has been after the dream feed each time. It's shortened a little from what it was but it seems to be building back up and it feels longer to me bc I am asleep for all of it.
I guess this is what we are doing, since she falls asleep with us in the living room around 8 and then I change and feed her between 10 and 11 and she sort of wakes up but not really... However, it's not lengthening the first stretch of sleep. If she goes down at 8 it seems like she's up by 1, even with a feeding at 10 or 11. Maybe it would help if I really tried putting her down in her own space at 8 and keeping her really sleepy (no diaper change) for the feed?
We put her down in her sleeping space. Double nice bc we get some alone time. I also don't change her diaper MOTN anymore unless I hear her poop. Although she still poops a ton during the day, MOTN she has pretty much stopped, she sometimes does one around the 4-5 am wake up, but sometimes she goes the whole night wo pooping. Then she will just poop a ton in the AM. Definitely makes MOTN easier to not change. Not sure if it will extend the length. She may just need some time to adjust to you being back too. I think it's normal to regress a bit with a big change like that.
I guess this is what we are doing, since she falls asleep with us in the living room around 8 and then I change and feed her between 10 and 11 and she sort of wakes up but not really... However, it's not lengthening the first stretch of sleep. If she goes down at 8 it seems like she's up by 1, even with a feeding at 10 or 11. Maybe it would help if I really tried putting her down in her own space at 8 and keeping her really sleepy (no diaper change) for the feed?
We put her down in her sleeping space. Double nice bc we get some alone time. I also don't change her diaper MOTN anymore unless I hear her poop. Although she still poops a ton during the day, MOTN she has pretty much stopped, she sometimes does one around the 4-5 am wake up, but sometimes she goes the whole night wo pooping. Then she will just poop a ton in the AM. Definitely makes MOTN easier to not change. Not sure if it will extend the length. She may just need some time to adjust to you being back too. I think it's normal to regress a bit with a big change like that.
We are going to try putting her in her own space tonight when she starts to get sleepy! I'll still offer a feed/dream feed at 10 or 11 before we go to bed but not change her diaper (she has stopped pooping at night too, but she does pee quite a bit by morning). We'll see how it goes! Thanks for sharing.
one other question jewel441, do you wake LO in the morning when you wake? To change/feed/play with her? Or do you just let her sleep? LO is now out like a light at 7:30 in her own area. I will wake her later to dream feed her at 10-11 and then I expect her to wake sometime between 2-4 to eat, but then I usually wake her up at 7am to be changed and fed before she goes back down within an hour for a long morning nap. Maybe I should let her sleep more? Does it matter?
one other question jewel441, do you wake LO in the morning when you wake? To change/feed/play with her? Or do you just let her sleep? LO is now out like a light at 7:30 in her own area. I will wake her later to dream feed her at 10-11 and then I expect her to wake sometime between 2-4 to eat, but then I usually wake her up at 7am to be changed and fed before she goes back down within an hour for a long morning nap. Maybe I should let her sleep more? Does it matter?
If you don't have a reason to wake her (like she needs to eat before you leave for work) I'd let her sleep
one other question jewel441, do you wake LO in the morning when you wake? To change/feed/play with her? Or do you just let her sleep? LO is now out like a light at 7:30 in her own area. I will wake her later to dream feed her at 10-11 and then I expect her to wake sometime between 2-4 to eat, but then I usually wake her up at 7am to be changed and fed before she goes back down within an hour for a long morning nap. Maybe I should let her sleep more? Does it matter?
We wake up together, but I don't have anywhere to be so I'm not sure this would work for you. She usually gets up around 6-630 for a feed and then I bring her in bed with me and we go back to sleep together. It's not usually a full feed and we kinda drift off and then get up around 730-8 and she eats for real. Then she is up for awhile at that point until her first nap. Earlier this week when we had to go to an early doc appt, so we just got up at like 6:30, and it was not good all day... So I would say if I can I would let her sleep until she is ready to get up, but if you can't then after a few days she will probably adjust to the schedule.
She slept 8-2 and 2-6 last night! I put her in her crib for the first time all night and I tried not dreamfeeding her. Tonight I'll try the dreamfeed and see if it extends her sleep, though it hasn't in the past. If I could go to bed at 8 I would get 6 hours myself, haha. I did get 10-2 and 2-6, which is not bad. I think she's adjusting and we are too. She has basically set her own bedtime for 8pm, and she was up today from almost an hour to eat and play and is now drifting off for a morning nap. Seems like a good schedule!
Post by rachelilly23 on Apr 22, 2016 9:14:07 GMT -5
adorebel I know it's easier said than done, but try to relax. Worrying about her sleep will make you a little crazy! It's good that you got back to sleep after her first wake up. I'm glad she gave you two 4 hour stretches last night, too.
She'll adjust as time goes on. Good for her sleeping in her crib though
adorebel I know it's easier said than done, but try to relax. Worrying about her sleep will make you a little crazy! It's good that you got back to sleep after her first wake up. I'm glad she gave you two 4 hour stretches last night, too.
She'll adjust as time goes on. Good for her sleeping in her crib though
Yeah, I'm actually not worried about her - I'm more worried about myself! The reality is that I am back at work and as long as she's not STTN, I'm exhausted. She's still too little to STTN, so I'm happy to wake up once to feed her of course, but if I can get her bedtime predictable enough, then I am dealing with one wakeup per night at a somewhat regular time, rather than the 2 or even 3 wakeups she was starting to go for when I went back last week. I just can't function professionally on that little sleep, so I'd like to avoid that situation if possible.
At what age did you guys start to implement a schedule? LO is 3 weeks and still eating every 3. When did the stretches get longer?
I think that's normal... My LO is 7 weeks and the only time she goes 3 or more hours is at night. She is more like 2-3 during the day, sometimes more frequent.
At what age did you guys start to implement a schedule? LO is 3 weeks and still eating every 3. When did the stretches get longer?
LO will be 8 weeks soon and the only reason we are considering any type of schedule is that I'm working again, so I'm tired and I need a routine as much as or more than she does. She was going down at 10-11, but this week, she shifted to an earlier bedtime, around 8 - this is a common behavior shift around 6-8 weeks.
The goal is to at least put her down around the same time every night and start working towards STTN in the next couple of months, but to let her lead the way. She still needs one MOTN feeding for sure, but if it can be a bit more predictable, it helps me too so I can function at work.
Around 5-6 weeks, she started sleeping 4, 5, or 6 hours for her first stretch, but not consistently one or the other. 3 weeks they will almost definitely still be waking up every 3 hours, 4 max, to eat. (In fact, we had a sleepy nb, but were told to wake her every 3-4 until 4 weeks of age to eat because it's that important for them to eat often...)
adorebel I know it's easier said than done, but try to relax. Worrying about her sleep will make you a little crazy! It's good that you got back to sleep after her first wake up. I'm glad she gave you two 4 hour stretches last night, too.
She'll adjust as time goes on. Good for her sleeping in her crib though
Yeah, I'm actually not worried about her - I'm more worried about myself! The reality is that I am back at work and as long as she's not STTN, I'm exhausted. She's still too little to STTN, so I'm happy to wake up once to feed her of course, but if I can get her bedtime predictable enough, then I am dealing with one wakeup per night at a somewhat regular time, rather than the 2 or even 3 wakeups she was starting to go for when I went back last week. I just can't function professionally on that little sleep, so I'd like to avoid that situation if possible.
I get it, I totally do. It's hard. I hope you have good luck with a routine, but babies like to constantly change things up. Just when you think you have it down, they start doing something new. For instance... the 4 month wakeful is no joke! You just have to sleep as much as you can, not worry about being sleepy do that the sleep you get is restful, and power through at times. It gets better eventually. Just imagine there are women who go back to work with their babies still waking up every 2 hours... my friend's 3 month old is doing this, so I know she'd kill for a 3 or 4 hour stretch.
I was just about to say that as soon as you think you can predict their behavior they will change it up on you! These first few months are hard. They are changing and developing and their habits change too.
At what age did you guys start to implement a schedule? LO is 3 weeks and still eating every 3. When did the stretches get longer?
In my case with dd1 never. I nursed her exclusively til 6 months and she ate every 3 hours tops that whole time other than a few random nights. By 9 months she was all formula and ate a little less often I think and finally slept through the night.
Yeah, I'm actually not worried about her - I'm more worried about myself! The reality is that I am back at work and as long as she's not STTN, I'm exhausted. She's still too little to STTN, so I'm happy to wake up once to feed her of course, but if I can get her bedtime predictable enough, then I am dealing with one wakeup per night at a somewhat regular time, rather than the 2 or even 3 wakeups she was starting to go for when I went back last week. I just can't function professionally on that little sleep, so I'd like to avoid that situation if possible.
I get it, I totally do. It's hard. I hope you have good luck with a routine, but babies like to constantly change things up. Just when you think you have it down, they start doing something new. For instance... the 4 month wakeful is no joke! You just have to sleep as much as you can, not worry about being sleepy do that the sleep you get is restful, and power through at times. It gets better eventually. Just imagine there are women who go back to work with their babies still waking up every 2 hours... my friend's 3 month old is doing this, so I know she'd kill for a 3 or 4 hour stretch.
Seriously. Dd1 was starting to sleep a bit better then 4 month wakeful hit and lasted like 3 months. It was brutal I held her for all naps just so she'd have one more than 30 minutes.
Yeah, I'm actually not worried about her - I'm more worried about myself! The reality is that I am back at work and as long as she's not STTN, I'm exhausted. She's still too little to STTN, so I'm happy to wake up once to feed her of course, but if I can get her bedtime predictable enough, then I am dealing with one wakeup per night at a somewhat regular time, rather than the 2 or even 3 wakeups she was starting to go for when I went back last week. I just can't function professionally on that little sleep, so I'd like to avoid that situation if possible.
I get it, I totally do. It's hard. I hope you have good luck with a routine, but babies like to constantly change things up. Just when you think you have it down, they start doing something new. For instance... the 4 month wakeful is no joke! You just have to sleep as much as you can, not worry about being sleepy do that the sleep you get is restful, and power through at times. It gets better eventually. Just imagine there are women who go back to work with their babies still waking up every 2 hours... my friend's 3 month old is doing this, so I know she'd kill for a 3 or 4 hour stretch.
Oh my god I would DIE if I had to work and my kid only slept in two hour stretches. Like could not do.
I get it, I totally do. It's hard. I hope you have good luck with a routine, but babies like to constantly change things up. Just when you think you have it down, they start doing something new. For instance... the 4 month wakeful is no joke! You just have to sleep as much as you can, not worry about being sleepy do that the sleep you get is restful, and power through at times. It gets better eventually. Just imagine there are women who go back to work with their babies still waking up every 2 hours... my friend's 3 month old is doing this, so I know she'd kill for a 3 or 4 hour stretch.
Oh my god I would DIE if I had to work and my kid only slept in two hour stretches. Like could not do.
I did this with my first. She was a terrible sleeper until about 7 months when it got better. It was brutal and was part of why I experienced PPD. My PPD was mostly in the form of anger, especially toward people who were getting sleep.
Yeah, I'm actually not worried about her - I'm more worried about myself! The reality is that I am back at work and as long as she's not STTN, I'm exhausted. She's still too little to STTN, so I'm happy to wake up once to feed her of course, but if I can get her bedtime predictable enough, then I am dealing with one wakeup per night at a somewhat regular time, rather than the 2 or even 3 wakeups she was starting to go for when I went back last week. I just can't function professionally on that little sleep, so I'd like to avoid that situation if possible.
I get it, I totally do. It's hard. I hope you have good luck with a routine, but babies like to constantly change things up. Just when you think you have it down, they start doing something new. For instance... the 4 month wakeful is no joke! You just have to sleep as much as you can, not worry about being sleepy do that the sleep you get is restful, and power through at times. It gets better eventually. Just imagine there are women who go back to work with their babies still waking up every 2 hours... my friend's 3 month old is doing this, so I know she'd kill for a 3 or 4 hour stretch.
I know you probably didn't mean it this way (since you have always struck me as very big hearted!), and I understand that babies are babies and they change often, but this made me feel a little hurt, or invalidated, or something. I know there are lots of people with harder situations than mine, and that's good to remember, but my baby is 8 weeks old, I've been back at work for the past 2 weeks, and I'm definitely feeling tired. I was just hoping for some advice in the sleep thread from other moms on how to maximize rest in our household as much as possible. Anyway, sorry. I'm probably being oversensitive because I feel stretched thin these days.
Post by rachelilly23 on Apr 22, 2016 20:34:07 GMT -5
adorebel It certainly wasn't my intention to hurt or invalidate your feelings. I was trying to offer some perspective I guess so you could see the good in how things are, if that makes sense? I know it's easy to go on a downward spiral, and I could see in your posts that you are struggling with this the most as a new working mom. It seems like you got some good ideas of things to try though, and I hope baby responds well.
Words are difficult. I don't feel like I'm getting my point across the way I want it to. That said, I'm sorry for making you feel bad. Take the weekend and really recharge yourself, mama!
Post by peachesncream on Apr 22, 2016 21:04:26 GMT -5
adorebel your baby is sleeping AMAZINGLY for her age. I know it is super hard working and having a kid who doesn't sleep. There is no weight threshold for STTN and actually at this age stretches of 5-6 hours are considered STTN.
There are a few sleep interventions you can do. CIO/Ferberizing (I think our babies may be too young for that to be effective but I am not sure), altering the sleep environment (swaddling, swinging, white noise, playing with variations of all of those), or altering sleep arrangements. When I went back to work with #1 I found that what was best for my sanity was cosleeping. You can lay on your side with a nipple in baby's mouth and although baby may wake up to feed half the time you don't notice because you are asleep yourself.
I am not trying to be insensitive but by the time those of us who work go back it will be a challenge for all of us and very, very few of us will have a child who STTN. I am really sorry you are having a rough adjustment period - all the hugs to you and I hope you get some sleep soon! Sometimes it takes going to bed ridiculously early or letting your SO give a bottle in the MOTN to maintain your sanity.
adorebel It certainly wasn't my intention to hurt or invalidate your feelings. I was trying to offer some perspective I guess so you could see the good in how things are, if that makes sense? I know it's easy to go on a downward spiral, and I could see in your posts that you are struggling with this the most as a new working mom. It seems like you got some good ideas of things to try though, and I hope baby responds well.
Words are difficult. I don't feel like I'm getting my point across the way I want it to. That said, I'm sorry for making you feel bad. Take the weekend and really recharge yourself, mama!
No, you've always been so nice and I totally see how you're being supportive by reminding me of everything that's going well and all the things that make me lucky! I'm run down and it makes me feel too sensitive. Thanks for being so understanding about it. I appreciate that so much.
I actually don't feel like I'm spiraling or anything, I'm just really, really tired and not "on point" at work, so I want to do whatever little things I can to help LO wake up once instead of 2-3 times while she's too little to STTN. You are right though - for now I just have to be glad it's going as well as it is sleepwise and try to recharge whenever I can. I have a lot of grading this weekend, but at least I can nap tomorrow between feedings and gradings!
Thanks again for the support. Sometimes I feel like a crazy person these days...
Sleep "training" anecdote- I've said before, our oldest was colicky, cranky, and a terrible sleeper (she is awesome now btw). It got really bad at 3.5 months and continued. Around Christmas, so almost seven months, we decided it was time for an intervention because she was up every two hours to nurse and it was clearly just comfort nursing. My husband had time off to help me so he started getting up with her and this was also when we transitioned to the crib. He would go get her, comfort her, rock her, then put her in the crib. He'd give her five minutes to cry and settle. He'd pick her up after five minutes but only had to pick her up again a couple of times. We agreed that after 5 am I'd go in and feed her. After two or three nights she realized she wasn't getting what she wanted so she stayed asleep. She continued the pattern of waking up around 5 to nurse then sleeping another 2-3 hours until 15 months when she got hand, foot, and mouth disease and started sttn (odd they coincided). She was also a lot happier and easier to deal with. I think she just needed to learn how to sleep and stay asleep on her own. She is a great sleeper now and even sleeps until 8 on the weekend and naps.
EJ is a good sleeper for her age but we will have no problems doing the same thing if we need to. I'm a fan of gentle sleep training but 5 months is probably the earliest I'd do it.
adorebel your baby is sleeping AMAZINGLY for her age. I know it is super hard working and having a kid who doesn't sleep. There is no weight threshold for STTN and actually at this age stretches of 5-6 hours are considered STTN.
There are a few sleep interventions you can do. CIO/Ferberizing (I think our babies may be too young for that to be effective but I am not sure), altering the sleep environment (swaddling, swinging, white noise, playing with variations of all of those), or altering sleep arrangements. When I went back to work with #1 I found that what was best for my sanity was cosleeping. You can lay on your side with a nipple in baby's mouth and although baby may wake up to feed half the time you don't notice because you are asleep yourself.
I am not trying to be insensitive but by the time those of us who work go back it will be a challenge for all of us and very, very few of us will have a child who STTN. I am really sorry you are having a rough adjustment period - all the hugs to you and I hope you get some sleep soon! Sometimes it takes going to bed ridiculously early or letting your SO give a bottle in the MOTN to maintain your sanity.
Yeah, I think she's amazing for 8 weeks too! Thanks for reminding me of that. I probably wouldn't think anything of her sleep patterns if I were home with her and could nap sometimes as I did on my mat leave (those of you with 2 - or more - kids who don't get to nap EVER are heroes to me!) or if I didn't have to be delivering lectures in front of a bunch of people while I feel like my head is in a fog. We got to 3 hours and then 4 hours again last night and then she's been up since 5:30, but will probably nap soon and I will try to as well. Yay Saturday!
Maybe it's that I haven't talked to other moms who are back at work, so I'm feeling a bit... alone in this particular challenge of motherhood so far? We have lots of support threads on here, but none for going back to work just yet. I'm in a moms group IRL as well, and I have the youngest baby but I'm the only one working again right now (the other women have 12-20 weeks off). Are there other moms on this board who are back early? She's just so little and it's hard to leave her and tiring being back so soon. I'm also trying to keep in mind that I'm working until the end of the school year and then I will work from home as a writer over the summer before going back to teaching again in August. Those couple of months off with her should mean that when I go back full time again in the fall she is 6 months and on a more predictable routine, if not STTN.
I haven't let MH do a MOTN bottle with her because I was concerned about my supply, but reading your post makes me realize that I should let him do this (and I won't get up to pump) just one or two weeknights so I could sleep 6 consecutive hours. I think one stretch like that would do wonders for me. We're definitely going to try that.
Post by cinnamonsmiles on Apr 23, 2016 8:50:59 GMT -5
adorebel I've mentioned before that I went back to school when DS was almost 8 weeks and completely understand the brain fog and feeling off that you're speaking of. I specifically remember feeling like half my brain was missing when lecture was going on. MH was not around to help with that, so I would definitely ask yours if he would be willing, even just once in a while. Personally, I only just now realized that taking a nap during the day and drinking coffee make me a much more relaxed and focused person. I know it's not feasible with lecturing, but hopefully it will help on the weekends.
I will keep my FX that she starts 6hr stretches for you so you can be on your A game at work
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