I become disappointed when I find out that friends who have gotten married have changed their last name to their husband's. It's such a dated practice, and I wish we could leave it in the past.
Im in a province that does not routinely allow name changes for marriage. People keep their birth names.
I'm not happy about this bc I will never have the same last name as my kids. I'm very bothered by this.
RandomName So the kids automatically get the dad's last name, and no one has any say about it? That is unfortunate.
Not automatically. It's the parents choice. The vast majority choose hyphenated last names for both parents. The issue this is causing now is two people with hyphenated names have a kid. Last names become a huge ordeal, where either the number of last names for a kid is ridic, or they choose and cause family drama.
John Doe-Murphy Jane Smith-Harvey Baby DoeMurphy-SmithHarvey
Or they choose Baby Murphy-Smith and the Harvey grandparent is all pissed at being dropped.
Post by th3stryck3r on Aug 5, 2016 18:37:17 GMT -5
Related possible UO: I have no problem with double or hyphenated last names (Poppy has a double last name) and think it's silly when people protest "but what happens if she decides to have kids with someone else who has a double last name?! What will they do?" I don't know- the kids can take her name, her partner's name, they can make up a new name, they can have 4 last names if they really want. Not a reason to be critical of how we named our kid.
RandomName So the kids automatically get the dad's last name, and no one has any say about it? That is unfortunate.
Not automatically. It's the parents choice. The vast majority choose hyphenated last names for both parents. The issue this is causing now a two people with hyphenated names have a kid and people the number of last names is ridic or they choose and cause family drama.
John Doe-Murphy Jane Smith-Harvey Baby DoeMurphy-SmithHarvey
Or they choose Baby Murphy-Smith and the Harvey grandparent is all pissed at being dropped.
Absolutely ridic.
Ha- we posted at the same time. I see we have different opinions on this.
Not automatically. It's the parents choice. The vast majority choose hyphenated last names for both parents. The issue this is causing now a two people with hyphenated names have a kid and people the number of last names is ridic or they choose and cause family drama.
John Doe-Murphy Jane Smith-Harvey Baby DoeMurphy-SmithHarvey
Or they choose Baby Murphy-Smith and the Harvey grandparent is all pissed at being dropped.
Absolutely ridic.
Ha- we posted at the same time. I see we have different opinions on this.
I edited for clarity. I think we're more in line. I don't care what people do, but it's a big deal to a lot of people and a hot topic of discussion.
We had friends who combined their last names to make their own name. I dropped my last name and was totally fine with it. I was happy to move up in the alphabet, silly but true.
Post by th3stryck3r on Aug 5, 2016 18:41:45 GMT -5
I don't understand why choosing which last names to keep/ drop would cause any more drama when they are hyphenated/ double than single. People routinely choose to use one parent's last name or the other (usually the fathers, but not always- I have a number of female friends whose kids have their last name.)
Kind of related. A friend with a hyphenated last name dropped her moms name when naming her kid (the Dad also dropped his moms name). My friends mom didn't talk to her for almost a year!!! Ridiculous.
Kind of related. A friend with a hyphenated last name dropped her moms name when naming her kid (the Dad also dropped his moms name). My friends mom didn't talk to her for almost a year!!! Ridiculous.
Kind of related. A friend with a hyphenated last name dropped her moms name when naming her kid (the Dad also dropped his moms name). My friends mom didn't talk to her for almost a year!!! Ridiculous.
That is totally ridiculous.
Yep. Her mom came to the kids first bday party but their relationship is still strained. It doesn't help that my friends sister dropped the dads last name when naming her kid. And she had her kid before my friend.
Post by th3stryck3r on Aug 5, 2016 18:47:08 GMT -5
Slightly related random: my sister gave her son her (our) last name as his first name, and her husband's last name as his last name. Both of the grandfathers have the same name, so that's his middle name. They found a way to make everyone happy.
Post by skinandbones on Aug 5, 2016 19:14:46 GMT -5
Confession: On the topic of names, DS2's name is the guartist of a band. His middle name is (1) the only name we liked with his first name and (2) is also a version of the lead singer of the same band. DH's family assumes it's after his grandfather. Like several people have thanked us for honoring him.
Post by runningmommy519 on Aug 5, 2016 19:54:21 GMT -5
I also took my H's last name. I was also excited to move up in the alphabet.
My cousin kept her maiden name. It was the first time I've ever seen that.
**trigger sexual abuse mentioned*** I knew someone who divorced her husband because he sexually assaulted her younger sister on a few occasions. She did not change her name back. I was kind of shocked. I would not want to share a name with someone who did that.
Post by th3stryck3r on Aug 5, 2016 20:33:44 GMT -5
The only close friend I have who changed her name had a difficult to spell and pronounce last name and was estranged from her father (and it was his name). But all of my closest friends have been married post 30, so maybe that is why most of us have kept our names.
Post by th3stryck3r on Aug 5, 2016 20:36:58 GMT -5
Oh, another related random— my paternal great grandfather's last name was Bailey. He had a riff with his father, and changed his name to his mother's name, stryck3r. So that's part of my affection for the maternal last name.
So fun fact about Redandblue...I hyphenated my name with my 'practice' marriage, but didn't think twice about taking DH's name when we married. Lots of reasons for it I think, and hindsight I think I didn't take my practice husbands name because deep down I knew it wouldn't last, and therefore easy to drop hyphenated. But I think everyone has their own decisions and no judgement on what decision people make. It's so individual for everyone and not anyone else business!
Me: 39 DH: 39 DS1 born Sept 1999 Married Nov 2010 TTC 2010 2011 BFP ended in ectopic RE Aug 2014. Unexplained infertility Sept 2014-Dec 2014 fermera/IUI/TI BFN's
August 16, 2015 baby Boy M is born and our hearts melt!
My madien name is gonna be lost, this bothers me. I wanted to name Addie it, it can be a first name...H doesn't like last names for first names. So my maiden name is now her middle name.
Caden middle name is my husband's name against my wishes. I wanted his middle name to be Robert...which is H dad's name and a family name on my side. I lost. And still not happy about it.
Oh and daycare thought addies name was hyphenated for the longest time. I must have corrected them 5 times...
Poppy's name is Penelope Lee Stryck3r HLastname. Daycare thinks Poppy's middle name is my last name and H's last name is her last name— it drives me crazy!
Oh and daycare thought addies name was hyphenated for the longest time. I must have corrected them 5 times...
Poppy's name is Penelope Lee Stryck3r HLastname. Daycare thinks Poppy's middle name is my last name and H's last name is her last name— it drives me crazy!
So we weren't married so they saw my last name on application and h's and just assumed. I was like no, that's in the middle name section, there's no hyphen!!...
I wasn't going to take H's name but my name was hyphenated and it was really important to him so rather than choosing a name to give w or giving him 3, I took H's name as my wedding gift to him. It meant a lot to him. My only real regret is that I've lost my relationship to my Hispanic name now and that makes me a bit sad.
The only close friend I have who changed her name had a difficult to spell and pronounce last name and was estranged from her father (and it was his name). But all of my closest friends have been married post 30, so maybe that is why most of us have kept our names.
I changed my name when I got married for similar reasons. I probably wouldn't have bothered otherwise, what a hassle.
But I get the added bonus of a clean Google history...thank God people can't find my 20s on the internet if they don't know my maiden name.....
The only close friend I have who changed her name had a difficult to spell and pronounce last name and was estranged from her father (and it was his name). But all of my closest friends have been married post 30, so maybe that is why most of us have kept our names.
I changed my name when I got married for similar reasons. I probably wouldn't have bothered otherwise, what a hassle.
But I get the added bonus of a clean Google history...thank God people can't find my 20s on the internet if they don't know my maiden name.....
Speaking of hassle, I finally changed my last name a few months ago on a Roth IRA I got before H and I got married. We've been married 6 years. Lol
I changed my name when I got married for similar reasons. I probably wouldn't have bothered otherwise, what a hassle.
But I get the added bonus of a clean Google history...thank God people can't find my 20s on the internet if they don't know my maiden name.....
Speaking of hassle, I finally changed my last name a few months ago on a Roth IRA I got before H and I got married. We've been married 6 years. Lol
My old house is still in my maiden name because it's not worth the cost to re-draft all the documents....supposedly that is ok and won't cause me any problems whenever I go and sell it, we shall see.
The only close friend I have who changed her name had a difficult to spell and pronounce last name and was estranged from her father (and it was his name). But all of my closest friends have been married post 30, so maybe that is why most of us have kept our names.
I changed my name when I got married for similar reasons. I probably wouldn't have bothered otherwise, what a hassle.
But I get the added bonus of a clean Google history...thank God people can't find my 20s on the internet if they don't know my maiden name.....
Now I'm super curious. Just how wild was younger 2dumbdogs
Then Comes Family, LLC is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising
program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com.