Poll! Are you staying or going? ALL IFers WELCOME

[ProfessorChaos]

We can follow up with a decision about where we're going, but I personally wanted a sense of the number of people who are firmly on one side of the fence versus the other, as well as how many people are just waiting to see what shakes out.

I know there are lots of contingencies (e.g., some people might not want to follow the parenting crowd, some won't go to FB, etc.), but for now just answer in terms of whether you've made a decision about TCF. 

[DrHooch]

I voted go with the flow, but honestly, I don't really want to switch. Last time I joined the boards was right before the last switch, and I really had no idea why it was necessary because I didn't know the backstory, and it feels the same this time. But I do remember a bunch of you here and on the graduate boards, so I will go where you all go.

[aprilz81]

I voted to stay, but if all/most of the people leave I will follow.

[spring78]

****grad warning****

Hi all. I hope you do not mind me chiming in -- I will always consider this my home board, even though I have graduated. Due to our different route to parenthood, I never felt comfortable anywhere else. I could never really relate to the ladies in GKU, or Pregnant, or Parenting. This is my home, where I relate and where I feel comfortable. I will likely have cause to become active again when/if we decide to use our remaining embryos in another year or so. The thought that this community might not be here then is heartbreaking. I like our community. All the drama with Parenting... I hate that it has bled over and threatening to destroy our safe place. Moving somewhere else won't solve the problems. This meltdown is so frustratingly similar to TD meltdown. It will only happen again in the new place, wherever that might be, given a little time. The problem is not the forum, it is certain personalities and certain types of board culture. I am not calling anyone out. There is no point. Numerous people got overheated on all sides of the issue. It got ugly. But, again, I do not feel cutting and running will solve anything. If it would, I would not hesitate to move on. But it won't. Human nature is what it is. The nature of the Internet is what it is. Moving changes nothing. It just hits the reset and we wait another couple of years until the next meltdown and the next major mass exodus, losing more people every step of the way. I am exhausted and demoralized and heartbroken. I am heartbroken to lose this place, this group. I am heartbroken for the people who have been hurt by all of this.

Don't get me wrong, if the group moves, I move, because it is THIS group that matters to me. But I would rather not uproot without hope of where we were going being better -- and I mean in the long term. Somewhere new just for the sake of somewhere new is meaningless to me. I have no interest in following Parenting folks anywhere, but wish them the best of luck.

At least that is my two cents.

[lillee]

I'm here and on FB. if the group decides to move somewhere else I'll look into it. There is a crowd of people who tend to create drama, I'm not into that, so moving to a new forum will depend on those leading it. (I like the 3TIF board the way it's been)
My last transfer is Thursday so I'll be leaving 3TIF world soon either way, but I want to be able to lurk and cheer you all on regardless of the outcome.

[JustJudy]

*******Grad Warning********

I don't want to lose the group and forum format for check ins. I'm not entirely confortable staying here though. This whole thing fucking sucks.

[hoosiermama76]

Stay:-)

[lemonliz]

I go -- or stay -- with all of you. That's just how it is.

On a very basic level, there are a few considerations with regard to staying and we should talk about it. I know that the lights are not being turned off on TCF, but I worry about medium and long term survival of this place without the vast majority of the people who clicked things and kept the advertising dollars rolling in. And then without Theo and Bibs, we are short some very key forum leadership. I have always had a great deal of respect for all of our admins on this site, and the loss of Theo and bibs will be felt acutely.

On the other hand, moving *again* is scary and there are so many unknown variables. And we want to make sure that wherever we land, IF and loss aren't told to buck up and get over our triggers.

If we move, my preference is to keep as much of the IF boards and Loss boards together as possible. These communities are interwoven to me.

I've put out feelers on GBCN and they seem positively lovely. But they're also a small board without a lot of newbs. You can see our discussion about the culture of their forum here [spoiler: you will see two faces there that are very familiar to us]: pandce.proboards.com/thread/577275/introduction?page=1&scrollTo=12651158

The other option is the forum established by a group from TCF, and I've briefly seen many of your faces over there. I am not sure if this site is the final landing spot or if it's a transitionary place. I believe it's headed by sterling from Parenting and GKU. I've always respected her opinion; I've always respected her, period. And wallieflowers and @pineappleoranges and I have all been nominated somehow to admin over there -- and probably others from the IF and loss community like therealbug but I just got off work a few hours ago and I'm only on page 3 and I still need to read the whole thread. It's here for your perusal: politicsorwhat.freeforums.net/thread/38/admin-nominations

I'm tagging @wallflwr926 in because she's been my other-half moderator here for a while and is a voice of reason across the forum.

[Deleted]

lemonliz - from what I've seen there is a strong push to keep the IF and Loss boards a priority on sterling's board. They want admins who are true representatives of the boards. I think it is currently at 5 areas of representation.

There is a set up to do the same on McBenny's board, but I understand the hesitancy of going there. Her format is nice and she is open to private boards which is a pro.

A pro for Sterling's board is that Enchanted appears to have a strong voice and she is committed to the loss community.

I have lurked GBCN on many occasions and it's not really my style, but it would be a nice cosy place to settle in

[gabride2010]

I can't vote in the poll for some reason, but I vote go with the flow (or whatever that choice said).

I do share lemonliz's concerns about staying here, although I'm not opposed to staying put.

I definitely don't want to just take over another board the way Parenting and some (most?) of GKU took over SM. I want to make sure that we are welcome wherever we go.

I see the need (and want) to continue the rules of our board, like TWs, not saying baby dust (ew - I don't even like typing that), etc. Things like that are very important to our community, and we need to make sure wherever we go or stay jives with that.

I feel awful for McB and what she has been through, but I'm not sure I can behind moving to her board.

I'm pretty new to the IF community, and the amount of support is amazing here! Ultimately, I go where y'all go.

[lemonliz]

May 22, 2017 14:38:40 GMT -5 ****** said:

I need an SS option!! I'll follow lemonliz . I can't imagine my DOR life without her advice!

I'm not going anywhere right now, friend! But I AM going to just calmly and politely chat with the fine ladies on the politicsorwhat forum about a future landing spot, since it could be necessary. Ignoring that it *could* be necessary seems ill advised. I'm a realist. 

[babyhopes]

May 22, 2017 14:38:40 GMT -5 ****** said:

I need an SS option!! I'll follow lemonliz . I can't imagine my DOR life without her advice!

+1 She has been invaluable to the IF community.

[ohinvrtedworld]

I voted going with the flow, but I want to say that I don't prefer to stay here because of the shadiness of things. But of course, people who want to stay, please don't feel that I side-eye that. There have been things before today that admins did that I was not thrilled with elsewhere on TCF.

I like the noms people have provided for both IF and Loss representatives, and I trust all of them to have our backs and ensure that any future board culture doesn't trample or minimize our needs.

[lilsneezy]

I voted stay but I'll be deleting my account once this place turns into a ghost town and I won't be signing up for any more forums. Maybe ever again. PM me if you want to be FB friends.

[fikafairy67]

I can't vote in the poll (can't see it?) but I will go with the flow too. I also don't mind straddling boards to see where most are landing. Because I have a unique situation, I have landed a lot of places over my time between here and TB before it's implosion.

Wherever all of you are, I will be - and I will probably join wherever the other places wind up too, since I can cross various boards. I don't mind being an ambassador between places if everyone wants to stay here for now, and can advocate for a new landing place for us long-term if needed.

[kaf7]

Grad warning


I remain here but will go with the flow. As I xpressed on SAIF my support needs are currently low as I am done ttc by choice but I'd like to be linked in to wherever the group is to lend support in the future.

Also can I just say how lovely it is to have a reasonable discussion where posters feel heard and respected? I appreciate it greatly.

[lemonliz]

May 22, 2017 16:52:22 GMT -5 kaf7 said:

Grad warning


I remain here but will go with the flow. As I xpressed on SAIF my support needs are currently low as I am done ttc by choice but I'd like to be linked in to wherever the group is to lend support in the future.

Also can I just say how lovely it is to have a reasonable discussion where posters feel heard and respected? I appreciate it greatly.

I'm glad you came over to talk! Doesn't matter if your needs are low -- Once an IFer always an IFer!

[ohinvrtedworld]

May 22, 2017 17:28:52 GMT -5 ****** said:

May 22, 2017 15:59:27 GMT -5 lilsneezy said:

I voted stay but I'll be deleting my account once this place turns into a ghost town and I won't be signing up for any more forums. Maybe ever again. PM me if you want to be FB friends.

you, friend.

+1 you're the reason I would stay and put up with the craziness of this place if that's what people want!

[Deleted]

May 22, 2017 17:50:53 GMT -5 ****** said:

lemonliz @wallflwr926 @whoever else knows:

I see on Sterling's site the thread on noms. I see you 2 are nominated at admin, not mod. What does that do differently for our community than if you are mods? And I'm assuming if you are admin, the job responsibilities are different than mods? I assume mods would come when/if we move and then our community votes on our own mod? That's not decided by non IF people, right? This is stressing me out more than it should, I think.

I'm not an IF mod. If that help.

[lilsneezy]

May 22, 2017 17:37:58 GMT -5 ohinvrtedworld said:

May 22, 2017 17:28:52 GMT -5 ****** said:

you, friend.

+1 you're the reason I would stay and put up with the craziness of this place if that's what people want!

Aww, you're sweet but you don't need anymore craziness in your life! We'll KIT on FB 😘

[lilsneezy]

May 22, 2017 18:16:57 GMT -5 ****** said:

May 22, 2017 18:15:29 GMT -5 lilsneezy said:

Aww, you're sweet but you don't need anymore craziness in your life! We'll KIT on FB 😘

it took me way too long to figure out what KIT was!!!

I only know that one from my HS yearbook lol. KIT! LYLAS! 😂

[ohinvrtedworld]

May 22, 2017 18:15:29 GMT -5 lilsneezy said:

May 22, 2017 17:37:58 GMT -5 ohinvrtedworld said:

+1 you're the reason I would stay and put up with the craziness of this place if that's what people want!

Aww, you're sweet but you don't need anymore craziness in your life! We'll KIT on FB 😘

Haha ok. Just don't wanna leave anybody behind.

Also wasn't trying to say that no one else is worth hanging around for! In case that sounded funny. All y'all are great.

[lillee]

May 22, 2017 18:20:20 GMT -5 tinkerbell said:

Baa.

I go with the group. Unless the group goes to another mommy site, but I feel like that isn't what's going to happen.

And if the group goes to Dairy Queen, I'll drive.

I think that it is important that wherever we go, though, there's a GKU group and some sort of strategy for getting new peeps, because we're a going to graduate from here, but not all at the same time, so I don't want anyone left behind. I do realize that that might mean being the change and all that, which is out of my comfort zone, but it does offer the opportunity for a learning and growing experience. I guess.

Is it too late to change my vote to Diary Queen? I've been having all kinds of ice cream cravings lately.

[Deleted]

May 22, 2017 18:35:26 GMT -5 lillee said:

May 22, 2017 18:20:20 GMT -5 tinkerbell said:

Baa.

I go with the group. Unless the group goes to another mommy site, but I feel like that isn't what's going to happen.

And if the group goes to Dairy Queen, I'll drive.

I think that it is important that wherever we go, though, there's a GKU group and some sort of strategy for getting new peeps, because we're a going to graduate from here, but not all at the same time, so I don't want anyone left behind. I do realize that that might mean being the change and all that, which is out of my comfort zone, but it does offer the opportunity for a learning and growing experience. I guess.

Is it too late to change my vote to Diary Queen? I've been having all kinds of ice cream cravings lately.

I am also on board for Dairy Queen. Maybe we could get a group discount.

[rooskie]

**grad warning**

I pretty much will hang out where you all are. Or I will find you and stalk you.

I'm not too sure on the politics or what board. Is there more when you register? I looked around and it looks like a giant parenting board.

Also +1 to DQ.

[No Display]

I agree with Spring78.

[rooskie]

May 22, 2017 19:29:51 GMT -5 ****** said:

May 22, 2017 19:03:30 GMT -5 rooskie said:

**grad warning**

I pretty much will hang out where you all are. Or I will find you and stalk you.

I'm not too sure on the politics or what board. Is there more when you register? I looked around and it looks like a giant parenting board.

Also +1 to DQ.

depends on whose forum you're looking at lol

This is the one I was looking at. Am I at the wrong place?

politicsorwhat.freeforums.net/board/1/general-discussion

[aprilz81]

May 22, 2017 18:24:15 GMT -5 ****** said:

May 22, 2017 18:13:53 GMT -5 ****** said:

your name was listed as admin nomination. That's where I'm getting confused. Admin vs mod. What's the difference if there's a bazillion admin. Will mods be no more? Iz confused

quoting myself. I found the explanation on McB board. I thought all admin discussion was on Sterlings board. There's WAY too much posting on multiple boards. Ugh.

I think there are too many people trying to be "queen bee" and have the boards that everyone goes to.

[happyin14]

Can someone tl;dr the drama? Or tell me where to look?

I was just starting to get active again.... but the boards didn't survive the migration the way you'd hope. That's just the truth. I don't think I'd migrate again where it'd be even quieter.... even though I'm grateful for people to talk to.

[happyin14]

Nevermind. Sorta found it? I dunno....

I won't migrate again.... this is kind of lame.