Yes. So much yes. I'm over the 72 hour stream of complaints.
I agree that I see little to no distinction. What about Wanderlust Wednesday where we say where we'd like go on vacation, would rather be, or your happy place for the week?
I might could deal with "venting" type threads if they had more of a theme to them, like First World Problems or something. Just brainstorming here
edited because the autocorrect on mobile hates me.
Edited once again (!) because GAH!
Wednesday Wanderlust sounds fabulous! I want to go everywhere!
Post by housecarder on Mar 20, 2015 6:24:12 GMT -5
So Monday Bitchfest, Thankful Tuesday or Ten Thing Tuesday, and Wednesday Wanderlust? I could get behind that. My only worry about Wednesday Wanderlust is that like the Man Crush Monday it would die off because there are only so many travel ideas. Unless it was also open to discussing recent vacations and the pros and cons of each rather than just dream places. Idk though
Yes. So much yes. I'm over the 72 hour stream of complaints.
I agree that I see little to no distinction. What about Wanderlust Wednesday where we say where we'd like go on vacation, would rather be, or your happy place for the week?
I might could deal with "venting" type threads if they had more of a theme to them, like First World Problems or something. Just brainstorming here
edited because the autocorrect on mobile hates me.
Edited once again (!) because GAH!
We could just not have planned threads on some days. Someone decides they want a FWP thread one day? Go for it. Want a NHIE Wednesday? More power to you. Just because 3 days of bitching threads in a row gets boring doesn't mean we need to replace it with another weekly thread.
I'm going to be a Debbie Downer Devil's Advocate here for a minute and I'm mobile, so bear with me.
I 1000% want the pregnants to post here and I think we can all unequivocally agree on that. With regards to siggys, I can see both sides of it 100% and I don't know what the right thing is. I think if pregglies weren't posting on GKU all the time anyways, it'd be easy to hide the siggy/ticker when they do occasionally post, BUT that would only be effective if everyone did it and that won't happen. I know there are all different types of journeys in siggys and why should those be ok but not pregnancy ones? I also can see the other side. GKU is, for all intents and purposes, a board for people TTC (I know there are people who don't fit into that category that bring a wealth of knowledge, I'm just going by the board description and being basic for the sake of this conversation.) I think treatments, losses, or just history in general being in a siggy is less bothersome because it's not what (most) everyone on here wants? Seeing LO age tickers doesn't bother me as much, because I eventually want a 3 yr old or whatever, but not right now. Right now, I just want to be fucking pregnant. I think pregnancy tickers and siggys remind people of what they don't have, what they used to have, what they may never have, etc. I'm only nearing month 6 of TTC, so none of it is the punch in the gut for me that I assume it is for others. However, I can see that viewpoint. I can also see being proud of your bump or whatever and not wanting to abandon the connections you made. I really don't know what's right.
I don't think pregglies are second class citizens...If anything, they embody the seemingly elite status that we (mostly) all hope to achieve one day. I think you can be genuinely and profoundly happy for your friends who have achieved this goal while simultaneously feeling wildly jealous and a little sad for yourself. I'm sure that we have all felt that at some point and I can only imagine it gets harder as time passes. I can see why any reminder of that would be painful.
I'm not trying to be an ass or drag out some prolonged debate, I'm just speaking as someone who has friends that are proudly pregnant and friends whose participation on this board will change if they have to look at pregnancy tickers. (I know they can disable siggys, but then they can't chart stalk or participate in the monthly challenges.) I'd love to find some way to interact with all of my friends on this board without anyone feeling hurt or shafted.
TL;DR: I'm at a point where I can deal with siggys and tickers just fine, but I can envision a time when that wouldn't be the case. I can also imagine a time when I'd want to display one with bells on. I don't know what the correct thing is but I don't want my friends on either side of the spectrum to feel uncomfortable posting. I want it all!
I think that the thing to me, though, and I apologize if I sound repetitive or insensitive, is that an individual can choose not to see signatures. I think this would be a different conversation if the power to show or not show signs rested solely with the poster. But it doesn't.
And while pregnancy tickers may be a trigger for some, there are other triggers. Mine was baby pictures. That is what punched me in the gut or made me jealous or weepy. But it is impractical to ask those be removed from my sight. Likewise, age tickers and loss mentions may not be triggers for you but they are triggers for some.
I absolutely agree that most of us have been there in regard to jealousy or a sore point on the ttc journey. And while I am not suggesting someone with a recent loss or tttc needs to leave this board (not at all), there are two options for that person - go to another board that has very clear guide lines for Sig displays (that I think are appropriate in those places) or turn off viewing sigs. And if someone isn't in that situation, but is just having a bad day, well, the option remains to disable viewing. But I don't think it is fair or practical to expect the world to adapt to my mental states or views, kwim?
6. This hasn't been addressed here, but since we're on the topic of board culture/organization -- I have always liked the idea of daily threads (Bitchfest Monday, UO Thursday, etc.) but I think it's a bit much to have three days dedicated to complaining in a row (Bitchfest Monday, Twatwaffle Tuesday, WTF Wednesday). I don't really see a difference between the three and TBH I have stopped reading them most of the time because I am can only take a certain amount of whining and complaining before I just DGAF. I know these daily threads have been around for a lot longer than I have been on TB/TCF, but I imagine I'm not the only person who feels this way. Yes, I can of course choose not to open them and most of the time now, I don't. But maybe we could think about introducing some other recurring threads that are a bit more creative than the bitching ones.
7. The second-best part of this thread (other than seeing my KU lovelies posting!) is the historic olive branch creating a rainbow of harmony between ghostmonkey and frankenboom. Unity horse!
Don't worry, I'll smack her with it eventually.
Though once Janda got pregnant we got along really well, so if history repeats itself, perhaps not.
So Monday Bitchfest, Thankful Tuesday or Ten Thing Tuesday, and Wednesday Wanderlust? I could get behind that. My only worry about Wednesday Wanderlust is that like the Man Crush Monday it would die off because there are only so many travel ideas. Unless it was also open to discussing recent vacations and the pros and cons of each rather than just dream places. Idk though
Here's a thought - maybe it doesn't have to be the same thread every week. I do think it would be nice to change it up from all the bitching. I don't see why we can't have a few different names for each day, and people can start those threads as they see fit. There doesn't have to be a Man Crush Monday or a Wanderlust Wednesday every single week, nor does there need to be a Monday Bitchfest, Twatwaffle Tuesday, etc.
ETA: I see this has been covered, while I took too long to write my response.
I don't drink, so I don't hang with the cool kids.
There's a lot of people in the drinking threads who aren't really drinking. Example tonight: me
I know, but I just never got into the habit of getting wrapped up into the long threads, unless I know there is something super juicy. I feel I'm a regular, and have posted multiple times a day for years, but I don't post in the TWW/WTO or Drinking threads, so there might be a lot of people who don't really know me. I'm cool with that
Maybe I'm just feeling spunky this morning, but I'll be damned if I'm going to have to hide something I worked very hard for, for a very long time, in my signature. I am happy. I get to be happy. I'm doing my best to focus on what I have now and not what happened before. This is GKU, not TTTC, or another loss board. I want to be able to hang out here from time to time, but it's like asking me to change a part of me to make someone else happy, and I can't roll that way.
Also, if you guys are saying you don't want to hear symptoms, are you also saying you don't want to hear about my really fucking weird sex dreams? Because this one had cookies.
So Monday Bitchfest, Thankful Tuesday or Ten Thing Tuesday, and Wednesday Wanderlust? I could get behind that. My only worry about Wednesday Wanderlust is that like the Man Crush Monday it would die off because there are only so many travel ideas. Unless it was also open to discussing recent vacations and the pros and cons of each rather than just dream places. Idk though
Tardy to the party but I have thoughts. I was way more active on TD and I mostly just lurk here. This is kind of because I'm not good at the computers and this site is somewhat more difficult to use, (still no sig) but mostly because I usually don't see interesting threads until they are 10 pages long and by then, I feel like, who cares about my slightly different wording of essentially the same point? I do miss participating but my internet time is more limited than it used to be.
With that said, I agree with the main points. They pregsters can hang, please dont bury good shit in huge threads, I like people!s siggies and tickers, chill with the newbie playdates.
I agree wholeheartedly with what y'all are saying and that's what makes it hard. I don't know if a way to reconcile both sides of this even exists.
I just think that if you say GKU is a melting pot board consisting of folks who are parents, who are CFNBC, etc, you assume at the same time there are 3T and IF ladies who call it home, as well. (Again, I know they can disable siggys but part of the GKU community is the siggy challenge and the "OMG, so and so, I love your new siggy!!1!1" which they would no longer be a part of.)I know there are folks who will participate less to avoid looking at siggys/tickers and I hate it. Just as I hate it when pregglies disappear to a BMB. I think the difference is that one group leaves for a happy reason and the other group will be leaving for a sad one.
The connections I make on here are so important to me and I don't want anyone to feel jilted, hurt, or alienated... I'm just not sure a solution exists where that can happen and it sucks. I am probably harping on a moot point here because I feel like this ship has sailed, I just wouldn't be a very good friend if I didn't say something for the folks I know are hurting.
On topic: Yay preggles! Bring on your siggies! Yay fewer complaining daily threads!
Off topic: Holy snikes, I think this got lost in the shuffle - akraus2015 - your FI is having a SIX DAY bachelor party? Who are these friends that can manage to go to Vegas for six days? Who survives Vegas for 6 days? I'm pretty much spent after like 3 nights in Vegas.
I agree wholeheartedly with what y'all are saying and that's what makes it hard. I don't know if a way to reconcile both sides of this even exists.
I just think that if you say GKU is a melting pot board consisting of folks who are parents, who are CFNBC, etc, you assume at the same time there are 3T and IF ladies who call it home, as well. (Again, I know they can disable siggys but part of the GKU community is the siggy challenge and the "OMG, so and so, I love your new siggy!!1!1" which they would no longer be a part of.)I know there are folks who will participate less to avoid looking at siggys/tickers and I hate it. Just as I hate it when pregglies disappear to a BMB. I think the difference is that one group leaves for a happy reason and the other group will be leaving for a sad one.
The connections I make on here are so important to me and I don't want anyone to feel jilted, hurt, or alienated... I'm just not sure a solution exists where that can happen and it sucks. I am probably harping on a moot point here because I feel like this ship has sailed, I just wouldn't be a very good friend if I didn't say something for the folks I know are hurting.
Well, apparently there isn't a solution that makes everyone happy, because telling me to hide my signature makes me feel alienated. I'm sorry that they are hurting, I've hurt, too. But I would never ask someone to change their signature unless it was something horribly offensive or against any TOS, or wildly NSFW.
Post by squeakyduck on Mar 20, 2015 9:24:41 GMT -5
If anyone ever complains about their pregnancy on GKU, they're an asshole and deserve all the flames and post-its. I feel like this shouldn't be hard. I'm sure it will still happen, and I'm sure that all the other pregnants will bitch out that TCFer right along with those still TTC.
If anyone ever complains about their pregnancy on GKU, they're an asshole and deserve all the flames and post-its. I feel like this shouldn't be hard. I'm sure it will still happen, and I'm sure that all the other pregnants will bitch out that TCFer right along with those still TTC.
Well, yeah, obviously this isn't the place for any of that.
I agree wholeheartedly with what y'all are saying and that's what makes it hard. I don't know if a way to reconcile both sides of this even exists.
I just think that if you say GKU is a melting pot board consisting of folks who are parents, who are CFNBC, etc, you assume at the same time there are 3T and IF ladies who call it home, as well. (Again, I know they can disable siggys but part of the GKU community is the siggy challenge and the "OMG, so and so, I love your new siggy!!1!1" which they would no longer be a part of.)I know there are folks who will participate less to avoid looking at siggys/tickers and I hate it. Just as I hate it when pregglies disappear to a BMB. I think the difference is that one group leaves for a happy reason and the other group will be leaving for a sad one.
The connections I make on here are so important to me and I don't want anyone to feel jilted, hurt, or alienated... I'm just not sure a solution exists where that can happen and it sucks. I am probably harping on a moot point here because I feel like this ship has sailed, I just wouldn't be a very good friend if I didn't say something for the folks I know are hurting.
I get what you're saying but honestly if the choice is between chart stalk/monthly siggy challenge and possibly seeing a siggy that's going to ruin your day, wouldn't logic say that disabling siggys is so much easier/preferable? I'm with fuzzy here. Pregnancy, like kids, loss, testing, is a part of the TTC journey (for some) and I don't think it should be hidden.
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