No skittles for the poor.

[Deleted]

cabgirl, please just leave like you said you would. You need a break.

[juliayadda]

Apr 4, 2015 18:18:10 GMT -5 helloerrbody said:

cabgirl, What you said read to me as, "Poor people can still easily feed their children healthy foods. I know how to do it, why don't they?" Since you asked.

Iand I answered her as to how even myself with a fairly good background in nutrition and cooking found challenges. She didn't even respond ...

[cabgirl]

To anyone I offended - I am genuinely sorry.

@pineappleoranges, I see what you're pointing out in the examples you used. I did come across as holier-than-thou and judgmental. That was shitty of me.

My original comment was ignorant. I could make a lot of excuses, but I'm going to leave it at that. There is a lot that I didn't consider. I spend all day, every day in a discount health food store, and we have legitimately low prices on health food. I had those prices in mind when I said what I said, and not much else. Things I didn't consider included the transportation/time constraint issue nachobutt brought up, and the time it does take to prepare food.

I don't have kids. I've never had to worry about feeding a family. Again, I can't even wrap my head around what it would be like to have that struggle.

I am privileged. I did have a period of years when being able to afford to feed myself was a struggle. I do know what it's like to be hungry. None of that changes the fact that I came from a place of privilege and am largely ignorant to the struggles of those who are born into poverty and have no escape from it.

I thought about the shit I said. I'm still thinking about it, and will continue to. I'm glad I got called out. Again, I am really, genuinely sorry that I was offensive and ignorant. I hope you guys will accept my apology. I like and care about all of you and hate the idea of upsetting any one of you.

[helloerrbody]

Apr 4, 2015 18:27:02 GMT -5 nachobutt said:

Apr 4, 2015 18:25:20 GMT -5 cabgirl said:

It actually took 46 minutes.

SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP. How do you know when she initially read the thread and started her research.

You are working your way to never being welcome here. God knows you've annoyed the fuck out of me by now, and I know I can't be the only one.

Seriously.

[icequeen]

I am as far right and conservative as you can get, but I also have a PhD in nutrition, so it's hard for me to get behind the logic of this Repub. OH, that's right; it's because there is none. I think the language he uses is petty and vengeful against the poor and he clearly doesn't understand what his priorities are as a politician. Is this what we worry about in Missouri? WTAF? While I absolutely agree that that everyone, regardless of income level, should be able to purchase nutrient dense meals for themselves and their families. I know that in the WIC system in LA, there is a list of food items that are acceptable for purchase with the vouchers handed out every month, and this includes ground beef, beef jerky, tuna, and fish sticks. He is making the generalization that seafood and steak is expensive, which is true, but what about other seafood and beef? This is absurd. Just this past weekend I got all my lent tuna packets on sale for a buck and $4 for a lb of lean ground beef. The way you prepare the food is to be considered as well, and plays a major role in the obesity epidemic. You don't have to deep fry and coat everything in butter. Sure as hell tastes good.

helloerrbody, I was initially alarmed when you said that you didn't expect kids that were on food stamps to come in wearing expensive clothing. I think every family judges for themselves where they choose to spend their money and maybe they prefer to spend money on clothing rather than food. While I personally don't agree with it, you have to be careful with assumptions here. You seem like a tremendously compassionate and lovely person, and I honestly couldn't be a teacher because I wouldn't be able to handle all these feels nearly as well as you do.

I 10000% agree with you, nachobutt. You should be getting more, no question.

And FUCK, why the fuck is that racist bigot bitch still here!??!!? If she seriously has to question why a child needs a snack in school, she has no business being on this board, let alone being a parent. I am almost shaking with rage reading her comments. I swear if she comes back...

Fruit and produce in the midwest sure is expensive, and I really think cabgirl is being demeaning towards the poor. Yes, eating healthy doesn't have to be expensive, but that really depends on your location and what you consider to be expensive. You can buy healthy foods like fruit and vegetables but the quality may not be great. I prefer to buy my produce from TJ's if I can, rather than Walmart, but the store choices around here are limited. cabgirl, you really should have stopped after the first few sentences because I found your explanations and rationale very disconnected from reality. I'm sorry.

[cabgirl]

Apr 4, 2015 18:27:02 GMT -5 nachobutt said:

Apr 4, 2015 18:25:20 GMT -5 cabgirl said:

It actually took 46 minutes.

SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP. How do you know when she initially read the thread and started her research.

You are working your way to never being welcome here. God knows you've annoyed the fuck out of me by now, and I know I can't be the only one.

You're right. I'm sorry. I really am.

I hope I don't become unwelcome here. This community means more to me than I can explain. I'm so upset with myself right now that I feel sick.

[Deleted]

Apr 4, 2015 18:36:25 GMT -5 cabgirl said:

Apr 4, 2015 18:27:02 GMT -5 nachobutt said:

SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP. How do you know when she initially read the thread and started her research.

You are working your way to never being welcome here. God knows you've annoyed the fuck out of me by now, and I know I can't be the only one.

You're right. I'm sorry. I really am.

I hope I don't become unwelcome here. This community means more to me than I can explain. I'm so upset with myself right now that I feel sick.

Just fucking leave already. Why are you still here. Did you say you didn't have the time to come up with examples to prove to us how right you are? Why don't you fucking do that instead of whatever it is you think you're doing here.

[nachobutt]

Apr 4, 2015 18:33:01 GMT -5 cabgirl said:

To anyone I offended - I am genuinely sorry.

@pineappleoranges, I see what you're pointing out in the examples you used. I did come across as holier-than-thou and judgmental. That was shitty of me.

My original comment was ignorant. I could make a lot of excuses, but I'm going to leave it at that. There is a lot that I didn't consider. I spend all day, every day in a discount health food store, and we have legitimately low prices on health food. I had those prices in mind when I said what I said, and not much else. Things I didn't consider included the transportation/time constraint issue nachobutt brought up, and the time it does take to prepare food.

I don't have kids. I've never had to worry about feeding a family. Again, I can't even wrap my head around what it would be like to have that struggle.

I am privileged. I did have a period of years when being able to afford to feed myself was a struggle. I do know what it's like to be hungry. None of that changes the fact that I came from a place of privilege and am largely ignorant to the struggles of those who are born into poverty and have no escape from it.

I thought about the shit I said. I'm still thinking about it, and will continue to. I'm glad I got called out. Again, I am really, genuinely sorry that I was offensive and ignorant. I hope you guys will accept my apology. I like and care about all of you and hate the idea of upsetting any one of you.

See you do have proper apologies in you. We get you work in a place with cheaper healthy choices, but you were quick to argue when we were not agreeing with you. Don't be so quick to argue your opinion to the death and not take anyone else's into account. There is always a way to see the other side. Just don't take so long next time lady.  Thank you for apologizing.

[Deleted]

Apr 4, 2015 18:35:49 GMT -5 icequeen said:

I am as far right and conservative as you can get, but I also have a PhD in nutrition, so it's hard for me to get behind the logic of this Repub. OH, that's right; it's because there is none. I think the language he uses is petty and vengeful against the poor and he clearly doesn't understand what his priorities are as a politician. Is this what we worry about in Missouri? WTAF? While I absolutely agree that that everyone, regardless of income level, should be able to purchase nutrient dense meals for themselves and their families. I know that in the WIC system in LA, there is a list of food items that are acceptable for purchase with the vouchers handed out every month, and this includes ground beef, beef jerky, tuna, and fish sticks. He is making the generalization that seafood and steak is expensive, which is true, but what about other seafood and beef? This is absurd. Just this past weekend I got all my lent tuna packets on sale for a buck and $4 for a lb of lean ground beef. The way you prepare the food is to be considered as well, and plays a major role in the obesity epidemic. You don't have to deep fry and coat everything in butter. Sure as hell tastes good.

helloerrbody, I was initially alarmed when you said that you didn't expect kids that were on food stamps to come in wearing expensive clothing. I think every family judges for themselves where they choose to spend their money and maybe they prefer to spend money on clothing rather than food. While I personally don't agree with it, you have to be careful with assumptions here. You seem like a tremendously compassionate and lovely person, and I honestly couldn't be a teacher because I wouldn't be able to handle all these feels nearly as well as you do.

I 10000% agree with you, nachobutt. You should be getting more, no question.

And FUCK, why the fuck is that racist bigot bitch still here!??!!? If she seriously has to question why a child needs a snack in school, she has no business being on this board, let alone being a parent. I am almost shaking with rage reading her comments. I swear if she comes back...

Fruit and produce in the midwest sure is expensive, and I really think cabgirl is being demeaning towards the poor. Yes, eating healthy doesn't have to be expensive, but that really depends on your location and what you consider to be expensive. You can buy healthy foods like fruit and vegetables but the quality may not be great. I prefer to buy my produce from TJ's if I can, rather than Walmart, but the store choices around here are limited. cabgirl, you really should have stopped after the first few sentences because I found your explanations and rationale very disconnected from reality. I'm sorry.

Everything you say about me is 10x more judgmental than anything I've ever said. And to say I have no reason to be a parent? That's too far.

[cabgirl]

Apr 4, 2015 18:38:17 GMT -5 @led said:

Apr 4, 2015 18:36:25 GMT -5 cabgirl said:

You're right. I'm sorry. I really am.

I hope I don't become unwelcome here. This community means more to me than I can explain. I'm so upset with myself right now that I feel sick.

Just fucking leave already. Why are you still here. Did you say you didn't have the time to come up with examples to prove to us how right you are? Why don't you fucking do that instead of whatever it is you think you're doing here.

I was asked for an apology, and one was warranted. If the consensus is that what I said was unforgivable, I will leave. Again - I'm truly sorry.

[cabgirl]

Apr 4, 2015 18:39:21 GMT -5 nachobutt said:

Apr 4, 2015 18:33:01 GMT -5 cabgirl said:

To anyone I offended - I am genuinely sorry.

@pineappleoranges, I see what you're pointing out in the examples you used. I did come across as holier-than-thou and judgmental. That was shitty of me.

My original comment was ignorant. I could make a lot of excuses, but I'm going to leave it at that. There is a lot that I didn't consider. I spend all day, every day in a discount health food store, and we have legitimately low prices on health food. I had those prices in mind when I said what I said, and not much else. Things I didn't consider included the transportation/time constraint issue nachobutt brought up, and the time it does take to prepare food.

I don't have kids. I've never had to worry about feeding a family. Again, I can't even wrap my head around what it would be like to have that struggle.

I am privileged. I did have a period of years when being able to afford to feed myself was a struggle. I do know what it's like to be hungry. None of that changes the fact that I came from a place of privilege and am largely ignorant to the struggles of those who are born into poverty and have no escape from it.

I thought about the shit I said. I'm still thinking about it, and will continue to. I'm glad I got called out. Again, I am really, genuinely sorry that I was offensive and ignorant. I hope you guys will accept my apology. I like and care about all of you and hate the idea of upsetting any one of you.

See you do have proper apologies in you. We get you work in a place with cheaper healthy choices, but would were quick to argue when we were not agreeing with you. Don't be so quick to argue your opinion to the death and not take anyone else's into account. There is always a way to see the other side. Just don't take so long next time lady.  Thank you for apologizing.

You're right. I work in a place that sells very cheap, healthy food, and because I'm surrounded by it all day, it's easy to think of it as readily available. That was fucking shitty and ignorant of me. I feel like an idiot. 

The way I argued was also shitty. I'm not going to make excuses, but when my opinion was challenged today, my response was to get defensive and know-it-all without actually knowing what the fuck I was talking about. I like to think I'm above doing shit like that, but today I obviously wasn't. I knew I shouldn't have posted before I even did it.

Thanks for listening and seeming to accept my apology.

[icaughtfire]

Apr 4, 2015 18:40:15 GMT -5 @rutherily said:

Apr 4, 2015 18:35:49 GMT -5 icequeen said:

I am as far right and conservative as you can get, but I also have a PhD in nutrition, so it's hard for me to get behind the logic of this Repub. OH, that's right; it's because there is none. I think the language he uses is petty and vengeful against the poor and he clearly doesn't understand what his priorities are as a politician. Is this what we worry about in Missouri? WTAF? While I absolutely agree that that everyone, regardless of income level, should be able to purchase nutrient dense meals for themselves and their families. I know that in the WIC system in LA, there is a list of food items that are acceptable for purchase with the vouchers handed out every month, and this includes ground beef, beef jerky, tuna, and fish sticks. He is making the generalization that seafood and steak is expensive, which is true, but what about other seafood and beef? This is absurd. Just this past weekend I got all my lent tuna packets on sale for a buck and $4 for a lb of lean ground beef. The way you prepare the food is to be considered as well, and plays a major role in the obesity epidemic. You don't have to deep fry and coat everything in butter. Sure as hell tastes good.

helloerrbody, I was initially alarmed when you said that you didn't expect kids that were on food stamps to come in wearing expensive clothing. I think every family judges for themselves where they choose to spend their money and maybe they prefer to spend money on clothing rather than food. While I personally don't agree with it, you have to be careful with assumptions here. You seem like a tremendously compassionate and lovely person, and I honestly couldn't be a teacher because I wouldn't be able to handle all these feels nearly as well as you do.

I 10000% agree with you, nachobutt. You should be getting more, no question.

And FUCK, why the fuck is that racist bigot bitch still here!??!!? If she seriously has to question why a child needs a snack in school, she has no business being on this board, let alone being a parent. I am almost shaking with rage reading her comments. I swear if she comes back...

Fruit and produce in the midwest sure is expensive, and I really think cabgirl is being demeaning towards the poor. Yes, eating healthy doesn't have to be expensive, but that really depends on your location and what you consider to be expensive. You can buy healthy foods like fruit and vegetables but the quality may not be great. I prefer to buy my produce from TJ's if I can, rather than Walmart, but the store choices around here are limited. cabgirl, you really should have stopped after the first few sentences because I found your explanations and rationale very disconnected from reality. I'm sorry.

Everything you say about me is 10x more judgmental than anything I've ever said. And to say I have no reason to be a parent? That's too far.

I'm sure she was just accidentally judgemental. Her whole family is problem super judgemental, and you can't expect her to be perfect.

[Deleted]

Apr 4, 2015 18:44:02 GMT -5 @pineappleoranges said:

Apr 4, 2015 18:35:49 GMT -5 icequeen said:

I am as far right and conservative as you can get, but I also have a PhD in nutrition, so it's hard for me to get behind the logic of this Repub. OH, that's right; it's because there is none. I think the language he uses is petty and vengeful against the poor and he clearly doesn't understand what his priorities are as a politician. Is this what we worry about in Missouri? WTAF? While I absolutely agree that that everyone, regardless of income level, should be able to purchase nutrient dense meals for themselves and their families. I know that in the WIC system in LA, there is a list of food items that are acceptable for purchase with the vouchers handed out every month, and this includes ground beef, beef jerky, tuna, and fish sticks. He is making the generalization that seafood and steak is expensive, which is true, but what about other seafood and beef? This is absurd. Just this past weekend I got all my lent tuna packets on sale for a buck and $4 for a lb of lean ground beef. The way you prepare the food is to be considered as well, and plays a major role in the obesity epidemic. You don't have to deep fry and coat everything in butter. Sure as hell tastes good.

helloerrbody, I was initially alarmed when you said that you didn't expect kids that were on food stamps to come in wearing expensive clothing. I think every family judges for themselves where they choose to spend their money and maybe they prefer to spend money on clothing rather than food. While I personally don't agree with it, you have to be careful with assumptions here. You seem like a tremendously compassionate and lovely person, and I honestly couldn't be a teacher because I wouldn't be able to handle all these feels nearly as well as you do.

I 10000% agree with you, nachobutt. You should be getting more, no question.

And FUCK, why the fuck is that racist bigot bitch still here!??!!? If she seriously has to question why a child needs a snack in school, she has no business being on this board, let alone being a parent. I am almost shaking with rage reading her comments. I swear if she comes back...

Fruit and produce in the midwest sure is expensive, and I really think cabgirl is being demeaning towards the poor. Yes, eating healthy doesn't have to be expensive, but that really depends on your location and what you consider to be expensive. You can buy healthy foods like fruit and vegetables but the quality may not be great. I prefer to buy my produce from TJ's if I can, rather than Walmart, but the store choices around here are limited. cabgirl, you really should have stopped after the first few sentences because I found your explanations and rationale very disconnected from reality. I'm sorry.

Yes, to everything but the bolded. We all know I am not her (@rutherily) biggest fan but nopeee, not agreeing to the bolded. 

For real. That's too far icequeen. Not okay.

[icequeen]

Maybe when I've calmed down a bit I can come back and decide if what I said was going too far or not. Right now, I am just furious.

[Deleted]

Apr 4, 2015 18:47:05 GMT -5 icequeen said:

Maybe when I've calmed down a bit I can come back and decide if what I said was going too far or not. Right now, I am just furious.

Then maybe you should back up for a while because I can assure you it was too fucking far.

[icequeen]

Ok, but being racist is ok on here?

[Deleted]

Apr 4, 2015 18:48:48 GMT -5 icequeen said:

Ok, but being racist is ok on here?

No one said being racist is okay. Please explain where that was said.

[icequeen]

I agree with y'all, I shouldn't have said @rutherily should not be a parent. I do, however, still think she is a racist and for that, she will never have an ounce of respect from me. I'm sorry for my comment.

[nachobutt]

Apr 4, 2015 18:48:48 GMT -5 icequeen said:

Ok, but being racist is ok on here?

not at all. Most of us don't interact and ignore her dumb comments since then.

[Deleted]

Apr 4, 2015 18:48:48 GMT -5 icequeen said:

Ok, but being racist is ok on here?

Listen, I admit I was the world's biggest idiot and asshole in the other thread and apologized a million times and will still apologize today. Last night was not my best moment. But you're the only one who's done nothing but call me names and spew hateful shit at me.

[helloerrbody]

Apr 4, 2015 18:35:49 GMT -5 icequeen said:

helloerrbody, I was initially alarmed when you said that you didn't expect kids that were on food stamps to come in wearing expensive clothing. I think every family judges for themselves where they choose to spend their money and maybe they prefer to spend money on clothing rather than food. While I personally don't agree with it, you have to be careful with assumptions here. You seem like a tremendously compassionate and lovely person, and I honestly couldn't be a teacher because I wouldn't be able to handle all these feels nearly as well as you do.

I think babyzebra hit the nail on the head earlier when she said it's hard to separate your feelings about how you would parent a particular child from the choices their parent makes.  My students tell me so many things (movies they watch, their bedtimes, music they listen to), that do not "jive" with what I think I will do with my own children.  (Notice that I said think because I don't actually know what I will do.)  For example, it's hard for me not to be upset when 5-year-old kids are allowed to watch PG-13 or R-rated movies.  I try not to judge, because as I said earlier, I know that the VAST majority of my students' parents love their children and would do anything for them and I do not know everything about their life and circumstances.  But teachers get told A LOT and it's often hard for me to separate my own opinions and beliefs.

[Deleted]

Apr 4, 2015 18:50:27 GMT -5 @rutherily said:

Apr 4, 2015 18:48:48 GMT -5 icequeen said:

Ok, but being racist is ok on here?

Listen, I admit I was the world's biggest idiot and asshole I. The other thread and apologized a million times and will still apologize today. Last night was not my best moment. But you're the only one who's done nothing but call me names and spew hateful shit at me.

Yes, I will share candy with her for this because she's absolutely right. No one is denying that what she said was racist. No one. Not even her. And no one is saying what she said was okay. Not even her. But you telling her she doesn't have the right to be a parent if fucking disgusting.

[icequeen]

Apr 4, 2015 18:50:27 GMT -5 @rutherily said:

Apr 4, 2015 18:48:48 GMT -5 icequeen said:

Ok, but being racist is ok on here?

Listen, I admit I was the world's biggest idiot and asshole in the other thread and apologized a million times and will still apologize today. Last night was not my best moment. But you're the only one who's done nothing but call me names and spew hateful shit at me.

That's fine. I will agree to move on. I am apologizing to you and to the other ladies for taking this thread in an inappropriate direction. I think we all have heightened emotions regarding all the things that have been said here, myself included. I was not using my best judgement.

[kawaiikitsune]

cabgirl - In the time you have been here arguing, you could have sited many examples to support just how right you are. Your "holier than thou" attitude is seriously off-putting.

Edited for spelling

[helloerrbody]

Apr 4, 2015 18:48:48 GMT -5 icequeen said:

Ok, but being racist is ok on here?

How we responded to her in that thread is proof enough that being racist is NOT ok.  But it's also not ok to tell someone that they don't deserve to be a parent.  NO NO definitely NO.  Never.

[nachobutt]

Apr 4, 2015 18:45:07 GMT -5 cabgirl said:

Apr 4, 2015 18:39:21 GMT -5 nachobutt said:

snip

Thanks for listening and seeming to accept my apology.

I do accept it, but suggest you tread lightly for a little while

[Deleted]

Apr 4, 2015 18:53:37 GMT -5 icequeen said:

Apr 4, 2015 18:50:27 GMT -5 @rutherily said:

Listen, I admit I was the world's biggest idiot and asshole in the other thread and apologized a million times and will still apologize today. Last night was not my best moment. But you're the only one who's done nothing but call me names and spew hateful shit at me.

That's fine. I will agree to move on. I am apologizing to you and to the other ladies for taking this thread in an inappropriate direction. I think we all have heightened emotions regarding all the things that have been said here, myself included. I was not using my best judgement.

Er, I probably still haven't earned my right back to make this statement but that was not an apology.

[icequeen]

Apr 4, 2015 18:52:12 GMT -5 @led said:

Apr 4, 2015 18:50:27 GMT -5 @rutherily said:

Listen, I admit I was the world's biggest idiot and asshole I. The other thread and apologized a million times and will still apologize today. Last night was not my best moment. But you're the only one who's done nothing but call me names and spew hateful shit at me.

Yes, I will share candy with her for this because she's absolutely right. No one is denying that what she said was racist. No one. Not even her. And no one is saying what she said was okay. Not even her. But you telling her she doesn't have the right to be a parent if fucking disgusting.

I said I was sorry. I am trying my best here. Can you please stop swearing at me? I am going through a lot as well and I KNOW you understand. I am going to take a break now as I can feel myself losing it. I hope you can see that I have had better moments than this.

[rae80407]

Who the fuck still cares what @rutherily is saying? She probably doesn't like oranges and apples because of their orangy and apply features.
Where is icaughtfire at with her post its??

ETA: I'm sure she should have kids..that's her choice...I just don't give a fuck about her opinions. Just throwing this out there..

[RajahMD]

So many new (and renewed) post-its today.