Post by carolyngrace on Jun 5, 2015 21:30:45 GMT -5
So.. I'm really struggling. I couldn't have imagined how exhausting this would be. My baby lost 11% of his birth weight and has since needed to be fed every 1-2 hours. I didn't rest well when I should have the first few days he was home. In fact was having some severe anxiety about sleeping. Well I "can" sleep now but it's only for an hour or so at a time, in between feelings. I'm barely hanging on, but I know this is temporary while he plays "catch up".
Any encouragement or support is so welcome. Also any moms been through something similar and how did you cope? Lots of options with supplementing formula available too, but it's all so confusing and I've only had my milk for a day and a half.
And then feel free to use this thread for other newborn questions and support.
I don't have my LO in my arms yet, but I completely feel for you and am sending you creepy internet hugs. Just keep telling yourself that you were designed to do this- you are completely capable, and this is the hardest part. I wish you all the best!
I hope you can find some time to truly rest (idk your situation but I once had my mother come over in the afternoon and hold DS so I could sleep soundly for three hours. It wasn't that long but I felt like baby was safe and it made me able to reeeeeally rest. Those three hours felt like ten!)
It really is such a short lived season, even though it feels like an eternity in the moment. Thinking about you! You can do it!! Trust your instinct and find your system that works best for you and baby, even if it's different from what the books and experts say. You are doing the hardest job on earth!!! You're basically a super hero. Hang in there!
So.. I'm really struggling. I couldn't have imagined how exhausting this would be. My baby lost 11% of his birth weight and has since needed to be fed every 1-2 hours. I didn't rest well when I should have the first few days he was home. In fact was having some severe anxiety about sleeping. Well I "can" sleep now but it's only for an hour or so at a time, in between feelings. I'm barely hanging on, but I know this is temporary while he plays "catch up".
Any encouragement or support is so welcome. Also any moms been through something similar and how did you cope? Lots of options with supplementing formula available too, but it's all so confusing and I've only had my milk for a day and a half.
And then feel free to use this thread for other newborn questions and support.
I had the same problem...I was exhausted anyway and then ended up in the hospital due to jaundice and they make sure you feed every two hours. it was so hard, by the time i got done with it all it was time to feed again....if you breastfeed, pump do that too so someone can help...that helped me....and at home it is easier to cheat and sleep through alarms...iknow they say 2-3 hrs but a girl needs her sleep and baby will wake when hungry.
i am sorry you are having a tough time. *hugs* itll get better
carolyngrace Thank you for starting this. I know what you mean about the first few days of initial energy you have from all the excitement and then not taking time for yourself to rest.
My latest challenge has been w babies latch after my milk came in. I breastfed DS for 15 months so I ignorantly thought it would be smooth sailing w this baby girl. The first few days in the hospital her latch was great but then I think since my milk came in yesterday she is having trouble adjusting to the milk flow and engorgement.
Starting this morning she stopped nursing on my right side and then was iffy on my left side. She kept popping in and off the boob. So I went to the lactation specialist and they suggested I try different positions not just cradle hold. It finally worked having her in football hold for my right breast and in a sitting position for my left breast.
I'm relieved I finally have a solution but the result of just half a day of her latching on and off my boobs has left them so sore. It's helped a lot to just wear no bra and be in a nursing tank around the house. I also just used a bag of frozen peas laid on my chest to help w the discomfort.
carolyngrace If it makes you feel better DS lost 11% of his birth weight the first week but within a month it was fine. He is now in the 98% percentile for height and weight at age 2. Babies are very resilient so try not to be too hard on yourself. You are doing the best you can.
missjenniebean DD also has a mild jaundice so we have been at the doctor every day for them to weight her and check her color. Her weight has been ok and her color is getting better everyday
The waking every two hours to feed is exhausting. I have let her go to 3 hours since I agree when they are tired they are tired. They also said I should sit outside with her for two hours a day since the sunlight helps w jaundice. that had been the most relaxing part so far.
I don't have much experience with the first few days since my baby girl was in the NICU for 12 days. But once she got home, I had to feed her about every 2-3 hours as well. I had started pumping while she was in the NICU so she could have breast milk, and we built up a small stash. I had my mom help bottle feed her at night, or I did it and pumped. My husband works nights....from 2am-10am....so I am completely on my own those hours. I feel you on the exhaustion. I am SO tired....I used to get 8-9 hours of sleep a night, now I'm lucky if I get 4-5. I just sleep between feedings until about 10 or 11 in the morning.
I've heard it gets easier. We haven't quite made it there yet. But I am getting more used to running off of less sleep. Just seeing her smile or hold my finger makes it all worth it.
Hang in there Momma!! You can do it!
And thank you for starting this thread. I've been wondering when we would start talking newborns.
I struggled last week a lot with breastfeeding, getting little things done around the house and sleeping. In the hospital, baby latched on great; however, when we got home, it went downhill. I think my latch was bad because my nipples were agonizingly sore, bleeding and cracked. I cried and cried. I gave in and started to supplement with formula and pump. I felt awful about it, but my pedi had great advice that made me feel better about not breastfeeding: this is such a small, happy period in your child's life, you need to be healthy and happy yourself to be able to enjoy it.
My milk is slowly drying up, but I am able to give her a bottle of breast milk every now and then. She sleeps longer in between feedings, has gained more weight and I have more time and energy to enjoy her. I still feel guilty about throwing in the towel with breastfeeding, but so many friends and family have reached out to tell me they went through a similar situation and baby will still be healthy. By no means am I saying to do the same. I just wanted to share my story and to see if other mamas are going through the same thing.
DD was jaundice and had a cleft lip. Between that combo I swear getting any sleep felt impossible. I can totally relate. It wasn't until we did bottles and found her a better way to eat for her that she was able to get what we needed her to. I know people say how horrible rice cereal is and in 95% of cases I agree. However we used a little in DDs bottle before bed each night (and I mean so little our pediatrician laughed... Apparently she felt more may have been a little better but the very little bit helped) and she was able to sleep harder and relax. It was like a whole new baby. But she was also having reflux and not latching well enough to sustain herself. I do not suggest using it without pediatrician guidance!
Anyway what I'm saying is after a really rough first 5-6 weeks with DD we have ended up having a very healthy, happy and amazingly good sleeping child! You can do this and it will pass! Just keep trying and focus on your baby and you!
I just want to say kudos to carolyngrace for starting this thread. With all the outside babies it's time y'all started talking and sharing stories, tips, and support. In my experience these boards are entertaining to get you through pregnancy but truly valuable when LO's arrive to share golden gems to help get you through one of the most challenging and exciting times of your life. Hang in there mamas.
I struggled last week a lot with breastfeeding, getting little things done around the house and sleeping. In the hospital, baby latched on great; however, when we got home, it went downhill. I think my latch was bad because my nipples were agonizingly sore, bleeding and cracked. I cried and cried. I gave in and started to supplement with formula and pump. I felt awful about it, but my pedi had great advice that made me feel better about not breastfeeding: this is such a small, happy period in your child's life, you need to be healthy and happy yourself to be able to enjoy it.
My milk is slowly drying up, but I am able to give her a bottle of breast milk every now and then. She sleeps longer in between feedings, has gained more weight and I have more time and energy to enjoy her. I still feel guilty about throwing in the towel with breastfeeding, but so many friends and family have reached out to tell me they went through a similar situation and baby will still be healthy. By no means am I saying to do the same. I just wanted to share my story and to see if other mamas are going through the same thing.
Don't feel guilty at all for not continuing to BF! Your ped is so right, you need to be happy and healthy and enjoy your LO right now. I'm giving BFing my best effort, but it is so physically and emotionally demanding it is hard to enjoy any of it. I told DH I'd give it 2 weeks (so next Thursday), and if it hadn't gotten any easier on me I was done. I only get so much time with my little guy before i go back to work and I don't want to spend it in tears over his crappy latch, worrying about engorgement and supply, etc. You're doing everything right! Your LO is happy, healthy and fed and that's all that matters
Post by purpledaisy923 on Jun 6, 2015 10:28:06 GMT -5
Try feeding TWO newborns every 2-3 hours. It was hard. By the time I was finished feeding both babies and then pumping because Alice refuses to BF, it was time to feed them again. Once they got back up to their birth weights at 2 weeks old, the pediatrician told us to let them sleep and just feed them when they cry. It's still a lot to take on, but they typically go 4 hours or so in between feedings now.
You will get there, just hang on a little while longer. it will get easier. ((hugs))
Lots of hugs all around. This is a great thread to get started and I love all the support in it! The newborn stage is so hard, and I've said since DS was a baby, there's a thousand ways to get through each phase and somehow you just find the way that 'clicks' eventually. I'm in a brand new stage of DD being 2 days old and waiting for my milk to come in. DS was in the NICU for a couple weeks so a lot of pumping and feeding him under nurse's advice happened right now. And this time we have just gotten through our first night at home with her already! It's crazy being 100% responsible for her this time. And by no means am I saying NICU was easier, it's just a completely different experience and I'm already feeling the learning curve and trying to be patient with my milk.
Post by missjenniebean on Jun 6, 2015 10:47:07 GMT -5
I knew breastfeeding would be hard, as all the lactation consultants said it would talk ~4 weeks to get the hang of....and this shield is NOT helping my case. hehehe
Post by carolyngrace on Jun 6, 2015 10:59:54 GMT -5
So helpful to read all this today.. Feeling slightly better than yesterday, which is all I could ask for. Thinking of you all as well. Keep it up ladies.
I had a really horrible night two nights ago. She was so hungry and screaming but would not actually latch. She had a great latch until that night. We tried for over am hour with no luck so I finally (on the verge of a mini melt down) gave in and made her a bottle of formula. We were given one a little while back and I am so thankful for it. I am still pumping and she is getting my breast milk and not the formula right now but I am giving it to her in a bottle. It is so much easier and less stressful. And it seems she is finally getting enough to satisfy her and sleeping well. I am enjoying everything a lot more now. It's rough! And whatever you decide to do just know you are doing what is best for you and baby!!!
Post by baytosa2013 on Jun 6, 2015 11:56:42 GMT -5
We are in the same place with breast feeding. Only going on day 3 here and still in the hospital till tomorrow. She was doing so well but then they told us that she was coombs positive (blood type mismatch with me a daddy) and was Jaundiced so she's been taken away to the nursery to be under the lights and only given back to us every 2-3 hours for feeding. She was latching great before but now she just wants to cuddle and sleep when they bring her to me (not that I am complaining about baby snuggles). I was really starting to worry because she has lost weight and won't latch but the lactation consultant just left and taught me how to express manually in to a spoon and feed that to her. She said a teaspoon or so if I can massage and get it to the baby is about what she'd get from latching right now and to not get frustrated. It was SO incredibly helpful, especially since I'm not sleeping well and being woozy on these pain meds all day
I'm nervous about going home tomorrow mostly because of getting around with this incision and the pain. I'm scared that I won't be able to get up and down from bed. I was also nervous about DH stepping up but he has been so great. He gets me everything I need, helped me shower and change my (TMI alert) pad and mesh undies. I think he was so scared with what happened during surgery that he realized how traumatizing it all really was. andplusalso…your DH holding and talking to his baby girl has got to be THE most adorable thing ever. I can't even stand it.
+1. I'm so sorry. He needs a reality check and fast
Ditto. It isn't going to get any easier. I know it's an adjustment for our husbands, too, but his help is sooooo important, especially these first few weeks.
We've been struggling with breast feeding and it was to the point I was crying, baby was crying and all was/is a hot mess. Add to the fact that DH gets an attitude any time I ask for help or can't walk fast enough...
Just cry it out and bitch to us
I'm sorry that your DH is giving you a hard time with needing help. Is that generally his response to your requests for help before the baby or is it just since you gave birth? He's going through a big adjustment too..maybe he's feeling left out in certain ways or (if he's like my DH) needs to be asked in a different way and be praised ALOT to feel super appreciated for his efforts?
We're still in the hospital and baby is less than 24 hours old, but I'm already feeling a stress with breastfeeding. Lactation consultants don't work on the weekend here, so I've been relying on shift nurses to help me along, all of whom seemed to be giving me different information. I finally broke down to the MW this morning, and she tracked down a special care nurse who was able to give me a plan and teach me some techniques and set me up with a pump since V isn't maintaining a latch for long. I'm already intimidated at the thought of going home, and it's nice to know I'm not alone.
You definitely aren't alone!! That's a bummer there is no LC to help you Just keep working on her latch. I found the football hold worked really well for us, but give a few different things a try and see what works. We had to supplement those first few days, too, and even though I felt guilty it was for the best! I pumped every 3-4hrs while in the hospital and I think that helped my milk come in. Keep reaching out to the nurses for support, too!
So.. I'm really struggling. I couldn't have imagined how exhausting this would be. My baby lost 11% of his birth weight and has since needed to be fed every 1-2 hours. I didn't rest well when I should have the first few days he was home. In fact was having some severe anxiety about sleeping. Well I "can" sleep now but it's only for an hour or so at a time, in between feelings. I'm barely hanging on, but I know this is temporary while he plays "catch up".
Any encouragement or support is so welcome. Also any moms been through something similar and how did you cope? Lots of options with supplementing formula available too, but it's all so confusing and I've only had my milk for a day and a half.
And then feel free to use this thread for other newborn questions and support.
DS was a 60-90 minute baby. For 9 months. I don't have advice on getting him to sleep (we tried basically everything, short of the "use Benadryl/put Kahlua in his bottle!" recommendations), just advice if you can't. You'll adapt. Sometimes, you get tired enough that you just sleep through some fussing. It WILL get better. Give yourself permission to walk away and leave him in his crib for a while if you are getting too overwhelmed.
We're still in the hospital and baby is less than 24 hours old, but I'm already feeling a stress with breastfeeding. Lactation consultants don't work on the weekend here, so I've been relying on shift nurses to help me along, all of whom seemed to be giving me different information. I finally broke down to the MW this morning, and she tracked down a special care nurse who was able to give me a plan and teach me some techniques and set me up with a pump since V isn't maintaining a latch for long. I'm already intimidated at the thought of going home, and it's nice to know I'm not alone.
You definitely aren't alone!! That's a bummer there is no LC to help you Just keep working on her latch. I found the football hold worked really well for us, but give a few different things a try and see what works. We had to supplement those first few days, too, and even though I felt guilty it was for the best! I pumped every 3-4hrs while in the hospital and I think that helped my milk come in. Keep reaching out to the nurses for support, too!
THIS! She would only latch well on the left side in the football pose. I had DH bring the boppy pillow and I laid her across it on the other side and she took to the right side straight away. Just keep trying different positions. I know its hard when they are screaming and upset I found that some of the senior nurses with the nursery had some great tips and were very helpful as well.
I feel for you mamas with the breastfeeding challenges. I had a lot of trouble early on with DD, and unfortunately, there's no great advice other than keep trying, and know you're not alone. I really hadn't anticipated how much work it would be, and with DD's jaundice, all she wanted to do was sleep. And some LCs were better than others at being helpful with our challenges, so don't be afraid to ask if there's another one around.
I will say it gets easier in some ways--they get better at eating, and your expectations change, and you figure out how to make things work. I had heard that every 2 weeks or so, things seemed to get better.
I'm so sorry to everyone struggling. Having a new baby can be so, so hard.
I'm struggling right now emotionally. Our little one was born with an unexpected heart defect and will require a cardiac cath next week to fix a stenotic heart valve. The cardiology team told us that it is also possible that she will need a heart valve replacement in 10-15 years. Getting this diagnosis has crushed me. I'm just now, after a week, getting to the point where I can talk or write about it without breaking down.
Sending you good thoughts for strength (and for LO, too!).
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