Post by rjnbsmommie on Jun 22, 2015 8:32:18 GMT -5
.....:::::vrrrrooooommmm:::::.....
I'm so glad that I have most of you as friends on FB so I can keep up with you there. I pop in over here about once a week but rarely comment and definitely don't keep up with the spam thread. Wanted to drop in though and wish all the June babies happy 2nd birthdays, congrats to all the new siblings, hugs to all those that need them, and nut punches too if those are needed. I really miss being able to keep up with ya'll, but I do think about ya'll frequently.
My hubby is currently on the boat. Been gone a week, have two more weeks to go. He gets a couple weeks at home, back to the boat for 3, home for 5 weeks and then off for the big deployment. We did find out though that instead of the projected 9-11 months at sea they will only be gone for 7 months top! During the 5 weeks break we will celebrate our anniversary in TN and then head down to GA for a week.
As many of you saw on FB all three of my kiddos came down with strep and ear infections, and this was all after our house got hit with stomach bugs. The past 3 weeks have been a nightmare in this house. Rian is out of school and currently spending a couple weeks with her meme and it's so weird being home with just two kids.
You make me wanna say o o o o o o o omg! Woooooah woooahhh I fell in love with shorty when i seen her on the dance floor... She was something sexy she was just like dynamite.
Hahahaa i totally jumbled lyrics together. Im in a stupor.
It's supposed to storm all day and it's grocery day... boo. And before we even get to Target, we have to go to the golf course pro shop... luckily someone was nice enough to call H after they found his fitbit in the parking lot, but we're going to get it for him.
Yeah, G and I are going to Lund's later, but that's it. And probably run around the community room to burn off some energy.
Thanks violet. It makes me feel a little better to know someone who has actually gone through what im going through.
I have a list of questions to ask them today when they call me with my blood results from today. Im hoping that will ease my mind even more.
The hormones kick my butt in the morning. They make me want to sleep for a while. Hard to do home alone with J. I have to at least lay down bc when i walk around i feel like im just gonna fall asleep and fall down!
Post by stargazer763 on Jun 22, 2015 8:45:14 GMT -5
thatblondie I'm sorry you keep having to hear the nastiness from your family. It is NOT your job to take care of your mom emotionally. You need to take care of yourself for a while.
Remember, you are NOT the person acting like an asshole in this scenario.
((big hugs)) thatblondie im sorry that you have so much to deal with. Sometimes it may just be easier to cut ties. No mom, no sister, no stress. Im here if you ever need to vent.
A good friend of mine's sister just found out she was 18 weeks pregnant. She was still breastfeeding and never got a period, so she didn't realize. She has the exact same due date she had last November. She could end up with 2u1. I could not imagine!
My cousin had a baby in September and she's due in September again. She is an incredible dumbass and I really feel sorry for her babies. I wish the cycle of stupidity would break. She's the daughter of my dad's half sister so luckily I'm just a little bit related
I hope her doctor has a long talk with her about birth control.
DH's little cousin did this too. She got pregnant fresh out of high school, married the dad, had the baby. 3 months later they split. A couple years go by, she meets a new guy and got pregnant almost immediately. When the baby was born she had serious hemmoraging and complications and her doctor advised that it would not be wise for her to have any more babies. Not 3 months later she was pregnant again, due November (same as the baby she had just delivered). The younger two are just over a year apart by a couple of days. And they still claim it was a total accident but have fully admitted to SIL and myself that neither one of them is willing to do anything permanent for bc (and that they aren't that careful with regular bc either). 3 accidents just don't happen, sorry.
Post by huckleberry08 on Jun 22, 2015 8:51:43 GMT -5
cl8badb I can't imagine what a hard process this is for you. I will just say I was worried about birth defects from having to be on progesterone with my first pregnancy but everything was fine. Not the same, I know. I hope you guys are able to make a decision that brings you peace soon.
thatblondie, so many hugs girl. You have dealt with enough. @theformerwren said it perfectly, but I just wanted to add some additionally support and hugs to the mix. I hope you are able to work things out with her in a way that works for you, otherwise cut those ties for a bit. You just don't need the added stress.
Post by nachellebeck on Jun 22, 2015 8:53:43 GMT -5
I'm going to throttle my husband. (Backstory) One of his (only) friends is getting married on July 4th. He asked my H to be a groomsman & my H agreed. Shits gotten crazy at work & it's causing him to stress about not being able to go. He's just decided that he isn't going to the wedding since he can't swing both this weekend (Ks party is Sunday) and the following weekend (the 4th) off from work.
Not to mention he hadn't even gotten sized for the tux...
So I told him he needs to call C (friend) and tell him what's going on. He did a few weeks ago, told the guy that he really couldn't make it, but he got talked back into it & told the guy he would make sure he got his tux in time. (I'm not about to be my H's keeper & remind him)
Fast forward to today. I tell my H he needs to go tonight & get fitted. H: I'm pretty sure it's too late & I can't because work is a shit show. Me: Have you told C then? Or are you just going to ignore him? H: At this point I'm done. My focus is on family/work Me: K, you should have stood your ground better...You really need to have a convo with C...but I'm not your mother & can't make you.
WTF H?! We have like 2 'couple' friends & you are alienating both of them! I'm so pissed off.
TTC #1 9/2011 BFP 10/2012 DS 6/29/13 TTC #2 3/2014 TTA 2 months. Resumes in Nov 2014 Cyst removal Jan 2015 RE appointment July 15, 2015. Polyp removal Jan 2016 -poly & endometrial lining removed TTC resumes in April
cl8badb, I'm sorry you are having to go through all this. Hopefully they are able to answer all your questions when they call with your blood work and ease your mind a bit. Big hugs mama. We are all here for you.
nachellebeck,is he considering like just not going now?! If you are good friends with the couple I would for sure reach out to the bride. I'm not saying make his decisions for him or get his tux or anything, but she deserves to know if this is happening.
thatblondie, are you going to respond? Just state the facts. "We gave M the bike but he hasn't had a chance to ride it yet because he was too overstimulated by the party and other things going on. That's all there is to the story....nothing was done to snub or ignore you. It was just a busy day."
ETa: "Put your claws away."
I will but I have to figure out how.
I think I mentioned before, but my mom keeps a box of printed emails and letters that piss her off. When she's mad at someone she sits in her closet and rereads them.
I should probably just tell her to put the email in the box.
Wow, she puts a lot of energy into this. Sweetie, I think you should consider cutting ties. You do not need this kind of toxic in your life. You have your own family to think of.
Post by nachellebeck on Jun 22, 2015 9:08:10 GMT -5
@winesconstantly, anustart1, I'm not friends with the bride. My H used to work with the groom, so I met him & his ex wife once. Then they got divorced & C met his bride to be. I haven't seen C since Feb 2014, but C & my H hang out every now & then.
I'm going to have a come to Jesus about his behavior tonight. He'll just shut down if I try to talk to him about it while he's at work. If he doesn't say anything tonight, I'll be messaging C on Facebook to give him a heads up.
TTC #1 9/2011 BFP 10/2012 DS 6/29/13 TTC #2 3/2014 TTA 2 months. Resumes in Nov 2014 Cyst removal Jan 2015 RE appointment July 15, 2015. Polyp removal Jan 2016 -poly & endometrial lining removed TTC resumes in April
nachellebeck,is he considering like just not going now?! If you are good friends with the couple I would for sure reach out to the bride. I'm not saying make his decisions for him or get his tux or anything, but she deserves to know if this is happening.
He's considering not saying anything & just not going.
he's being a real jackass about it & I'm super super disappointed in his behavior.
ETA: He's tried throwing the "Well C didn't come to my wedding, why should I go to his?!" When actually C's manager (my H's old boss) scheduled him to work that whole weekend so all the other managers from that store could attend the wedding. None of them ended up showing up...
Last Edit: Jun 22, 2015 9:10:19 GMT -5 by nachellebeck
TTC #1 9/2011 BFP 10/2012 DS 6/29/13 TTC #2 3/2014 TTA 2 months. Resumes in Nov 2014 Cyst removal Jan 2015 RE appointment July 15, 2015. Polyp removal Jan 2016 -poly & endometrial lining removed TTC resumes in April
thatblondie, you have probably mentioned this before so I'm sorry if I missed this but does she have meds she should be on? My mom goes on and off of hers (a combo of anxiety and depression, and generally being a princess) and when she's off of them she says some of the exact same vindictive crazy things. And the pissed off emails is so my mom too. She prints them and gives them to my father to get him mad at us too. But I am no way comparing my mom to what you are going through- I know I have it good. I was just wondering about the meds. It's hard to keep some people on them
ETA: not that meds solve everything. She can still be challenging on them, but it's much better.
I am so excited to go to work today. It means I am leaving the house of horrors, filled with feces and puke particals everywhere. And today is the cleaning people day meaning when I come home it will all be gone! Well, for like 30 minutes until my kids come home that is. I am considering figuring out how to say "we've all been very sick, please use bleach everywhere" in Portuguese so I can leave a note.
Try drinking a glass of 100% grape juice each day I've the next few days to coat your stomach to protect you from the bug.
Missed so much spam so I apologize. I am insanely jealous of all the meetup pics I saw. everydayimshuffling and thatblondie you already got tons of advice but I'm sorry you are dealing with crap-parents right now. My H has a relationship with his dad like that and it's really rough for him. I think it's amusing when parents say they aren't going to beat themselves up for mistakes made years ago - really? Isn't that when we are most susceptible? Lots of hugs. And cl8badb please give the treatment a few tries. My first time around I felt a lot different than this time (I felt more myself.) I know what it's like to have all the stress and anxiety but there is a risk in everything, and it really is low.
As a (grown up) kid, it would mean so much to hear your parent say "You know what? I screwed up and I'm sorry that you suffered because of my mistakes." It wouldn't make everything better but saying it without offering excuses and meaning it would really be a huge turning point. But it requires a lot of pride-swallowing to do it.
Yessss! My mom gets so defensive when I bring up anything she effed up on. I think shared with you guys how she made me feel fat as a kid and how I told her I didn't want her to do that with KJ. She got all defensive and basically threatened just to not be in Kj's life. Her reaction was so extreme and unnecessary.
Post by everydayimshuffling on Jun 22, 2015 9:31:24 GMT -5
thatblondie Keeping emails to read later? Wow. I don't think there's really going to be an answer that will ever make her happy. This really isn't about you at all, it's about her, and unfortunately you can't make people get help. You might want to think about starting to come to terms with that and just start focusing on you and your sweet family. That's kind of what I have started to realize about my Dad (although different circumstances for sure). Big hugs!
Post by everydayimshuffling on Jun 22, 2015 9:33:41 GMT -5
nachellebeck That would drive me batty! Good for you for not just taking on his stuff, but man would it be hard to watch him mess up. I'm glad you're going to fb the friend if he doesn't take care of it.
Post by everydayimshuffling on Jun 22, 2015 9:34:48 GMT -5
limabeanmom Hugs. It's always hard to see the people we love look different, even if it's just a part of treatment. I know that really bothered my mom to lose her hair and eyebrows.
I think I mentioned before, but my mom keeps a box of printed emails and letters that piss her off. When she's mad at someone she sits in her closet and rereads them.
Today already sucks. I could not wake up this morning and then I couldn't find anything to wear because my room is a freaking mess. I just want to crawl back into bed. Grayson has a doctors appointment at 12:30 today which is right in the middle of nap time and I tried rescheduling it but the doctor was booked full until August. Hopefully the daycare ladies aren't too upset with me when I pick him up later.
As a (grown up) kid, it would mean so much to hear your parent say "You know what? I screwed up and I'm sorry that you suffered because of my mistakes." It wouldn't make everything better but saying it without offering excuses and meaning it would really be a huge turning point. But it requires a lot of pride-swallowing to do it.
Yessss! My mom gets so defensive when I bring up anything she effed up on. I think shared with you guys how she made me feel fat as a kid and how I told her I didn't want her to do that with KJ. She got all defensive and basically threatened just to not be in Kj's life. Her reaction was so extreme and unnecessary.
My mom used to do this all the time. Honestly, I don't ever bring anything up she screwed up on at all anymore. I go zen on it and never am negative with her, even when inside it kills me. It's pointless because she will deny something ever happened or get super defensive. For her to even say "I'm not going to beat myself up" would be a move in the right direction because then she would be admitting something happened. Instead she would get mad and say hurtful things like, "oh you think you have it so bad! you are such an ungrateful little..." it gets bad when she's bad. We got into an argument about something dumb planning my wedding and she hit me really hard in the face right before my final wedding dress fitting. I recoiled and pulled my fist back to defend myself but didn't hit her. I had been mugged and hit in the face a year before and I totally just automatically got ready to defend myself, and somehow without even hitting her I ended up crying and apologizing because she was all like, "you were going to HIT YOUR OWN MOTHER!!!!" After she had just clocked me and I had a black eye. She brought up me "trying to hit her" for months afterwards when she got mad without ever even mentioning her hitting me.
So yeah, I don't even bring up anything anymore. It's been all good since my wedding with me staying polly sunshine and her staying on meds.
ETA: and let me just say I'm a pretty tough chick. I wanted to yell, "if I wanted to hurt you, you would fucking feel it mom."
@theformerwren I've just come to terms with it being pointless and honestly it makes me feel so much better to just stick with happy stuff with her, and bitch to my sisters on the side. I kind of look at it like I can be the bigger person and keep things good between us or I can get us both upset, make no progress, and somehow feel guilty afterwards even if I'm right. It's not worth it. She has even noted that she can't really relate to me because I'm usually so positive, and says stuff like "well at least one of you girls got your Dad's 'happy gene.'" (2 of my 3 sisters are bi-polar and the other one has anxiety and depression and princess syndrome like my mom). My poor dad, he is surrounded by crazy ladies!!!
My mom used to do this all the time. Honestly, I don't ever bring anything up she screwed up on at all anymore. I go zen on it and never am negative with her, even when inside it kills me. It's pointless because she will deny something ever happened or get super defensive. For her to even say "I'm not going to beat myself up" would be a move in the right direction because then she would be admitting something happened. Instead she would get mad and say hurtful things like, "oh you think you have it so bad! you are such an ungrateful little..." it gets bad when she's bad. We got into an argument about something dumb planning my wedding and she hit me really hard in the face right before my final wedding dress fitting. I recoiled and pulled my fist back to defend myself but didn't hit her. I had been mugged and hit in the face a year before and I totally just automatically got ready to defend myself, and somehow without even hitting her I ended up crying and apologizing because she was all like, "you were going to HIT YOUR OWN MOTHER!!!!" After she had just clocked me and I had a black eye. She brought up me "trying to hit her" for months afterwards when she got mad without ever even mentioning her hitting me.
So yeah, I don't even bring up anything anymore. It's been all good since my wedding with me staying polly sunshine and her staying on meds.
ETA: and let me just say I'm a pretty tough chick. I wanted to yell, "if I wanted to hurt you, you would fucking feel it mom."
Yikes! You have superhuman restraint for keeping your mouth shut. I wouldn't have been able to do it!
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