Here's what makes me upset - am I not allowed to purchase clothes for my own son? I know it's stupid to get all worked up over an outfit, but seriously. It's the principle. I hate when grandparents try to take over and overshadow. I disagree that it's the grandparent's job to spoil, especially if you're undermining the parents.
cougarette Maybe take it as the back up outfit. Or put him in it, take pictures, and be lax about bib use or feed messy foods necessitating an outfit change. I think Friday is also a good solution.
And here's the thing, way back when DS was about 3 weeks old we had a talk and I said that if she had a problem with me to come to me. Don't bother DH with it because he doesn't want to get in the middle.
So I sent her a text saying just that. In fact, I'll paste the exchange here:
Me: I said if you have a problem with me to come to me. To be honest, MY feelings are hurt. I should be allowed to buy an outfit for MY son's first thanksgiving, or whatever, without worrying about your feelings. I wasn't trying to be mean, I was just letting you know that he already had something to wear that day, so you won't be seeing that particular outfit. On that note, I already got his first Christmas outfit too.
Her: I don't have a problem with you. I was just giving y'all an outfit for N. He doesn't need to wear it on Thanksgiving. Sorry if I hurt your feelings.
Oh, she doesn't have a problem with me? She said her feelings were hurt. They were hurt because if what I said. Whatever. Let's continue:
Me: Glad we got that settled. No need to bother S with texts then if it's all cool. Have a good week!
Her: Same to you. Hope S would never send your mother a text like that.
Her (clearly this was meant for whoever else she was talking to): Yes I did. Said I was sorry if I hurt her. I was just giving N outfit and he didn't have to wear it on Thanksgiving. Also told her I hope S never sent her mother a text like that.
Me: She doesn't send me texts saying she was upset about something then proceeding to say she wasn't upset afterall. He told me you sent him a text that your feelings were hurt. I wanted to respond directly, and let you know that you hurt my feelings. If you want to discuss this over the phone that's fine.
Hopefully she's being sincere. I'd take it as the back up and if your outfit survives, put him in her outfit Friday.
I hate the idea that the role of grandparents is to spoil their grandchildren. IMO their role is to help their grandkids grow up to be healthy, successful, well adjusted adults even if they were terrible at raising their own kids.
Of course she didn't call. But the thing is, this isn't about clothes at all! I mean, yes it is. But it's also about me trying to nip this behavior. Add the holidays approach I don't want hey precious feelings getting hurt if we don't do things with her or whatever.
I'm also sick and tired of having to bend over and take it from this bitch. Why is it okay for her feelings to get hury over trivial things? When do my feelings get to matter?
DH didn't say anything today, so I assume she didn't go to him. But at the same time I feel like it's unresolved and she's going to go around saying I'm blowing up over some clothes. What I really hate is when he told me about the text last night he was not taking sides, which means he wasn't on my side. He just doesn't get it. He's too used to her passive aggressive dysfunction.
cougarette Maybe take it as the back up outfit. Or put him in it, take pictures, and be lax about bib use or feed messy foods necessitating an outfit change. I think Friday is also a good solution.
And you know, I started thinking that I shouldn't have said anything and just that day say he had a blowout or whatever. But it's the principle of the matter. She already had her kids. I want to be able to buy the outfit for his first Thanksgiving.
And now it's starting to sound like it's about clothes again.
This is about, why should I watch what I say and walk on eggshells around her? Why is she so special and treated with kids gloves? She is always nothing but critical of us, and we're supposed to just take her nasty comments.
Hopefully she's being sincere. I'd take it as the back up and if your outfit survives, put him in her outfit Friday.
I hate the idea that the role of grandparents is to spoil their grandchildren. IMO their role is to help their grandkids grow up to be healthy, successful, well adjusted adults even if they were terrible at raising their own kids.
Exactly! And that's how my parents are. And they've even told her that it's not their role to spoil. In fact, my mom always says, "I don't want my daughters to be mad at me". Ha!
Your MIL is a piece of work. I'd want to tell her that your H wouldn't need to because your mom understands boundaries and being excited to get your first kid their first things. Also you can have it out with your mom and no one can have it out with her (my MIL is the same way and I hate tiptoeing around her feelings when she's pulling her bs).
cougarette that is so frustrating. I'm sorry. Do you think she wouldve listened if YH told her he already had an outfit months ago? It makes me insane when I ask DH to do something, he doesn't, then I have to deal with it or it makes me look like the bad guy.
Your MIL is a piece of work. I'd want to tell her that your H wouldn't need to because your mom understands boundaries and being excited to get your first kid their first things. Also you can have it out with your mom and no one can have it out with her (my MIL is the same way and I hate tiptoeing around her feelings when she's pulling her bs).
Your MIL : oh hey I bought this outfit for N for thanksgiving You : oh he akrwsdh has an outfit Your MIL: oh that's nice. I can't wait to see it! Do you want to keep this for a back up or should I return it?
Your MIL : oh hey I bought this outfit for N for thanksgiving You : oh he akrwsdh has an outfit Your MIL: oh that's nice. I can't wait to see it! Do you want to keep this for a back up or should I return it?
The end.
EXACTLY
Or if she didn't say anything at all about when to wear it. Because it could be just a fall, or November, outfit (it talks about turkey and football, so it's clearly for Thanksgiving, but still). But I wanted to mention that he already had one because I didn't want her getting upset that day when he showed up in something else.
I honestly don't know if it would have helped if DH told her sooner, though. She probably would have been upset that she didn't get the opportunity to buy him one. Sigh.
I think part of the problem is this is the way they show their love. They buy things. But then it starts feeling like charity or like we can't handle things ourselves.
My mom said to think of it like, "hey, that's that much more I can spend on wine instead if xyz." But it's still bothersome.
Your MIL : oh hey I bought this outfit for N for thanksgiving You : oh he akrwsdh has an outfit Your MIL: oh that's nice. I can't wait to see it! Do you want to keep this for a back up or should I return it?
The end.
EXACTLY
Or if she didn't say anything at all about when to wear it. Because it could be just a fall, or November, outfit (it talks about turkey and football, so it's clearly for Thanksgiving, but still). But I wanted to mention that he already had one because I didn't want her getting upset that day when he showed up in something else.
I honestly don't know if it would have helped if DH told her sooner, though. She probably would have been upset that she didn't get the opportunity to buy him one. Sigh.
Sometimes no matter what you do or say it'll upset someone. Can't make everyone happy.
Post by kaydee0402 on Nov 10, 2015 22:42:42 GMT -5
HOA meetings are the worst. I have to go, but the majority of our neighborhood doesn't go, and then they get mad when we put in place bylaws they don't like. If you don't show up and voice your opinion, you have no right to complain.
I hate HOAS. I see no benefit to them. A waste of money to have what you can do with your property dictated by strangers.
If your neighbor has a bright pink house you only notice it the first couple times you see it. After that it's great for giving directions.
But unfortunately it looks like the two places we are most likely moving are mostly HOA neighborhoods.
I like them if they don't abuse their power. My parents HOA is awful. That's why I got on the board for mine, to make sure it stays in check and they don't go crazy.
Sometimes I feel like people want a medal for being a decent human being. Like, if I meet a couple walking next to each other and taking up the whole damn sidewalk, and one of them moves to let me and the stroller by, sometimes they want to seek my eye and really look like they want a big smile and a hug for moving. I mean, of course you should get a thank you if you do something nice, but come on!
On the other hand, if there were medals for being a decent human being, I feel like a lot of people would go without.
@alyllyra, I would say "Thanks" but that's about it. It's like being rewarded for doing something you're supposed to do. No.
Exactly! I do say thanks, but I feel like some people expect more. It must be so hard to have to step outside of their bubble and think of someone else for a change (can you tell I'm bitter? )
Post by kaydee0402 on Nov 12, 2015 21:12:48 GMT -5
My child set the sleep timer on ourDVD player, so every 30 minutes, it shuts off. DHand I haveno idea how to turn it off, so the player just keeps shutting off every 30 minutes. Baby: 1 mom and Dad: 0
My child set the sleep timer on ourDVD player, so every 30 minutes, it shuts off. DHand I haveno idea how to turn it off, so the player just keeps shutting off every 30 minutes. Baby: 1 mom and Dad: 0
Last night I logged in on desktop for the first time in ages and realized that the 'reg' ribbon is super ugly. I need to up my post count and get me a bronze cup!
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