Our night never got better. Lots of walking around while the baby cried or screamed. I didn't get to sleep until about 2 when he would finally lay down with us, and even then there was a ton of coughing, whimpering and sucking his hand. I hindsight it was probably teething and we should have given Tylenol.
Now off to a meeting with a parent and I can barely keep my eyes open.
Oh no! I feel so awful that things aren't improving quicker for you.
Post by holliberry28 on Oct 27, 2015 7:10:31 GMT -5
M's sleep isn't great but I find that the nights he CIO as opposed to falling asleep while eating, he sleeps for longer stretches and is able to self soothe more in the MOTN.
At this point, we only do CIO at night and Ferber does say that if the first stretch of 3,5, 10, 10 checkins seem to hard, you can start with shorter intervals like 1,3,5, and 10 min. I don't think he's successfully sleep trained yet because we don't do it in the early morning (4am on we don't let him CIO bc too tired). Thanksgiving weekend we are going all in though.
I'm not trying to be pushy or judgey, but I think at least a few nights of ferber is worth a shot to see if it helps with sleep. It may not be right for you , but it's worth a shot if it yields better sleep and other methods aren't working. For us, rocking only leads to screaming so we felt like that was the only way to go.
budders I would try Tylenol tonight and see if you notice any difference. I'm so sorry you are going through this. Things are getting a little better for us. The past 2 nights we are getting 3-4 hour stretches which at this point I will take any sleep I can get.
M's sleep isn't great but I find that the nights he CIO as opposed to falling asleep while eating, he sleeps for longer stretches and is able to self soothe more in the MOTN.
At this point, we only do CIO at night and Ferber does say that if the first stretch of 3,5, 10, 10 checkins seem to hard, you can start with shorter intervals like 1,3,5, and 10 min. I don't think he's successfully sleep trained yet because we don't do it in the early morning (4am on we don't let him CIO bc too tired). Thanksgiving weekend we are going all in though.
I'm not trying to be pushy or judgey, but I think at least a few nights of ferber is worth a shot to see if it helps with sleep. It may not be right for you , but it's worth a shot if it yields better sleep and other methods aren't working. For us, rocking only leads to screaming so we felt like that was the only way to go.
I hear you, I just can't leave him crying. I don't have it in me. I'd rather hold him and cry along with him. Plus, if he's teething and in pain, which I'm almost positive it was last night because that's the only time he is inconsolable, to me that is a legitimate need for love and comfort, and I can't not respond to him.
But... Just to play devils advocate for a minute... What if letting him cry a couple nights leads to overall less crying? Isn't that more compassionate in the end? And if he's crying with you anyway... But I guess that's probably where pro CIO and anti just disagree.
Just to jump in here, Maddie sleeps from 7pm-5am then eats and gets changed then she sleeps until 8-9am depending on the day. We do cry it out and she's able to soothe herself back to sleep. And plus she's able to push the button on her light up aquarium with her feet so that helps too.
I know the intention of everyone here is to be helpful and that you don't mean to do this, but I feel very unsupported when a method continues to be pushed at me even though I have been super clear in a number of threads that it's not for me. I realize that it works for you, and that you want to be helpful and to have it work for me too, but it's just not something I'm going to do right now. In a few months, maybe. Never say never. But right now, it feels even more isolating to be struggling with this issue and reach out for understanding and support and to feel pressured to solve it in a way that I am not comfortable with.
I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to push it on you. I really wasn't meaning to be overbearing.
Other than cry it out I don't know of any other methods for sleep training that's why I was offering my own experience. I hope you find something you're comfortable with and the sleep gets better.
Post by holliberry28 on Oct 27, 2015 10:46:27 GMT -5
I'm sorry budders. It definitely wasn't my intention to have you feeling unsupported. Have you looked into the No Cry Sleep Solution? I heard that book offers ideas that involve zero crying.
budders, I'm convinced the only reason that I'm getting sleep right now is because Owen's sleeping in his swing for at least half the night. Is V a swing lover? I'm also not ready to CIO yet. I'm slowly transitioning him back to the crib (he hit some sort of regression when I went back to work) and want to get that more solid before I think about CIO. I'll let him fuss but won't go in to get him until I'm sure he's really upset.
Do you happen to have a video monitor? I find it to be super helpful to be able to see how upset he is. There's no way I'd be able to really tell off of sound alone. Also, sometimes he fusses while he's still asleep. Sometimes he screams while he's asleep. I don't tend to go in to him unless his eyes are open. Once he opens them, I know he's really awake. The monitors can be pricey but I know we'll be using it for years. The one we have can also add additional cameras so when we have another kid we can still monitor both of them. Also useful when they're sneaky toddlers.
I think about you often when I am up in the middle of the night, hoping that you are asleep!!
Post by carolyngrace on Oct 27, 2015 11:28:52 GMT -5
Also sorry budders. I think we're all feeling your pain and anxious for you to get some relief. Speaking for myself, that's why I was pushing back a bit. Not because I don't respect you doing what you feel is best with your baby. I really hope things turn a corner soon. It seems like getting V healthier and feeling better is the place to start!
Post by billyhorrible on Oct 27, 2015 13:58:28 GMT -5
budders, Just hugs and hugs. I think you already know my thoughts on this, which is why I've stayed out of it. I think the sleep thing gets really touchy on so many points, but I've been where you are, including the lack of support. It's really hard.
I just want to reiterate, this is NOTHING you're doing. I feel even more comfortable saying that now, in hindsight, with two totally different sleepers for kids. It is unbelievably hard when you're in the thick of it. And I know this has been going on for you for way too long. I'm so sorry. But you WILL get through this.
budders hugs and echoing billyhorrible comments that you are not doing anything wrong. it's also true that with time all babies become better sleepers. This age is incredibly difficult.
budders, I have no advice but just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you! I can't imagine how helpless you feel with this constant cycle. Try to keep reminding yourself that you're doing what you can, none of this is your fault.
Our nights are hit or miss, some nights we get a decent 4 hr, 3 hr, 2 hr night, some nights I'm up walking or rocking him every hour. We may try the crib soon just to see if something magical happens. We haven't so far since it's on a different floor as my bedroom and going up and down stairs every hour (on a bad night) seems too daunting to me right now.
During the day, when I have all the time in the world, my kid nurses for 15-20 minutes. When I am exhausted at night? 30-45. A ton of it is comfort sucking but if I try to move her she'll wake up and start all over again.
Post by wegrowsheep on Oct 28, 2015 2:11:02 GMT -5
budders I didn't try CIO with DS1 until he was about a year old. I think it's because I felt like we had better developed communication at that point. He had some words he could say, he understood "no" etc. I knew, 100%, that he didn't NEED to eat at night, and that developmentally, he was absolutely capable of sleeping that long.
But up until that point, we survived. We nursed 3 or 4 times at night, coslept, rocked, whatever it took. And I don't have any plans to do anything drastically different with T. There's no way I could handle CIO with him right now, because I feel like his body is still changing a lot, and quickly.
We switched T into a fleece swaddle instead of a cotton one last night and he actually slept well! Like this is the best night he's ever had. He fussed twice in his sleep (around midnight and 4) and I just put his pacifier back in and he only nursed at 3am and 730. Such a change from having to pick him up and rock him back to sleep. Probably just a coincidence, so we'll see how tonight goes.
We switched T into a fleece swaddle instead of a cotton one last night and he actually slept well! Like this is the best night he's ever had. He fussed twice in his sleep (around midnight and 4) and I just put his pacifier back in and he only nursed at 3am and 730. Such a change from having to pick him up and rock him back to sleep. Probably just a coincidence, so we'll see how tonight goes.
Back when we swaddled he did better in the fleece ones. I think maybe they have less give than the cotton?
whoopsadaisy, mine does the same thing! I usually just pull him into bed with me and let him nurse lying down so I can sleep. Now he knows that during naps I'll sneak away, so he has started propping his feet up on my legs or stomach to make sure he knows anytime I move.
Sob. We went trick or treating with my nieces tonight for a bit and she was passed out when we got back to grandma's (around 7) and then fell asleep easily when we got home. She was in bed by 8:15. Thought for sure she'd sleep longer. Nope! Up at 11:30.
I can't pump to keep up with her any more. Her 6+ hour stretches were when I used to get up and pump. Now if she sleeps three hours I'm lucky.
Lol she woke up at 6:30 after being up three times. Tried to put her in bed with me, nurse her, rock her, etc. finally gave up around 7:20 and brought her downstairs to start our day - and she's asleep.
I have a headache that I'm pretty sure is just from a lack of quality sleep.
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