Has anyone else still not been able to have sex? We've tried a few times but ended up stopping because it was painful. I had a c-section so I'm surprised but it just feels very tight. And now since it's gone badly each time we've tried, I get anxious and tense up which makes it even worse.
H is really sweet about it but physical intimacy is his love language and I can tell he is feeling neglected. I feel bad about it.
My OB said breastfeeding can make it feel drier and tighter. DS is 18 weeks and it still hurts, but much less than when we got the 'all clear' at 6 weeks. We kept trying weekly with different positions and wine, lots of wine.
Has anyone else still not been able to have sex? We've tried a few times but ended up stopping because it was painful. I had a c-section so I'm surprised but it just feels very tight. And now since it's gone badly each time we've tried, I get anxious and tense up which makes it even worse.
H is really sweet about it but physical intimacy is his love language and I can tell he is feeling neglected. I feel bad about it.
We only just DTD this week (9 weeks post c section). I think it's tight bc it'd been. While I wanted to enjoy it, it was painful. I'm sorry you are getting anxious. I know it's hard with one let alone 2, but can you crib sex and focus on maybe just foreplay for a little bit?
bocaburger we have only tried twice starting around 11w pp and I dreaded it both times. I used a ton of lube/coconut oil but it still hurt so bad. The second time it hurt a lot but not as terrible. As a result I have anxiety about it and don't want to do it again either. Plus I'm always exhausted. I think part of the issue is I'm super tight/tense. I also had a c-section so no tearing
bocaburger, definitely heard BF made things rougher.
We just tried last weekend. At the start it was tight and uncomfortable but as we got going it was better. I don't BF so assume that could be the problem in your case. Damn hormones!!!!
Me: 36, DH 32 Bfp#1 June 2014 edd: Feb. 22, 2015,mmc: Aug. 5,2014,D&C Bfp#2 Feb. 2015 edd: Oct.12, 2015, mmc: Mar. 7,2015, D&C
DX: Me: slightly hypothyroid, taking meds DH: SA Showed all low levels, urologist appointment showed all was normal, so no reason why the levels were bad.
Plan: IUI #1 Aug. 25mg clomed, to help boost egg quality - BFN IUI #2 Sept. 25mg clomed, BFN IUI#3 Dec. BFP!! TWINS Edd: Aug. 22, 2016
I want to stop breastfeeding. DD is 10 and 1/2 weeks old. Please everyone talk to me about this if you've stopped and how you're feeling about it. And how you respond to well meaning fellow moms telling you absurd things about the detriments of formula :-(
I'm sort of in this transition currently. Here are the things that help me:
*Formula is one of the most regulated foods by the FDA. It is an incredibly nutritious food, and has stuff like iron and vitamin d! *When controlling for socioeconomic factors, there are no long term differences in outcomes like IQ or health outcomes like diabetes in babies who are formula vs breastfed. There are differences in immunity and digestion, and that's nothing to scoff at! Premies who are given BM tend to thrive more quickly than those given formula. What makes a difference is if the baby is in a loving household. *You CAN bond with baby when bottle feeding. Bottles allow others to experience this, too! *Happy, healthy mom = happy, healthy baby. If you need to switch for your own mental and physical well being - you don't need to suffer for your baby. We all want to give our babies the best, and sometimes that means taking care of ourselves, too. This one feels especially true to me.
ETA: I am finding this to be an incredibly difficult transition, so the points above are in no way meant to minimize that feeling, if thats what you're experiencing, too. It's just sometimes a logical decision doesn't always sit well emotionally, so those points makes me feel better about what I know will best for me.
I'm also not trying to downplay how awesome breast milk is, so I hope no one takes it that way!
frodabaggins, I'm curious to hear your reasons for switching. No judgment at all, I just don't remember you talking much about your BF experience (sorry if you have and I've just missed it)
Has anyone else still not been able to have sex? We've tried a few times but ended up stopping because it was painful. I had a c-section so I'm surprised but it just feels very tight. And now since it's gone badly each time we've tried, I get anxious and tense up which makes it even worse.
H is really sweet about it but physical intimacy is his love language and I can tell he is feeling neglected. I feel bad about it.
I think my child has been replaced, lol. She took 3 naps in her crib yesterday without a lot of fighting, went to bed easily and slept for almost 7 hours straight. I'm sure it was a fluke and now that I posted this she will go right back to no naps and fighting sleep, but I am really enjoying this while it lasts.
I think my child has been replaced, lol. She took 3 naps in her crib yesterday without a lot of fighting, went to bed easily and slept for almost 7 hours straight. I'm sure it was a fluke and now that I posted this she will go right back to no naps and fighting sleep, but I am really enjoying this while it lasts.
Has anyone else still not been able to have sex? We've tried a few times but ended up stopping because it was painful. I had a c-section so I'm surprised but it just feels very tight. And now since it's gone badly each time we've tried, I get anxious and tense up which makes it even worse.
H is really sweet about it but physical intimacy is his love language and I can tell he is feeling neglected. I feel bad about it.
It's still painful for me too.
Love tit for commiseration, not because you're in pain!
Well the baby has his first cold. Surprised it took this long. Between his sisters cold and my cold it was bound to happen. Luckily he actually slept last night, I actually woke him up bc I kept hearing he cough and heavy breathing. So I tried to help and suck the snot out. Unfortunately it's too far up to be sucked out. Oh well so far he's pleasant.
Has anyone else still not been able to have sex? We've tried a few times but ended up stopping because it was painful. I had a c-section so I'm surprised but it just feels very tight. And now since it's gone badly each time we've tried, I get anxious and tense up which makes it even worse.
H is really sweet about it but physical intimacy is his love language and I can tell he is feeling neglected. I feel bad about it.
My OB said the change in estrogen levels (I don't remember if it's increased or decreased) from breastfeeding can cause a lot of dryness. We've been dtd weekly or so since 6wpp and it's still uncomfortable for me.
katelm -((hugs)). Between 13 & 17 weeks was the hardest for sleep for my older two (and therefore me). All the developmental changes around sleep at that age are hard.
Tried our Magic Sleepsuit for nap on a whim. No dice. She less than 30 minute napped me. At least I get a whopping 40 in the Zippy.
Also I finally got one of the colds the kids have. Boo.
I want to stop breastfeeding. DD is 10 and 1/2 weeks old. Please everyone talk to me about this if you've stopped and how you're feeling about it. And how you respond to well meaning fellow moms telling you absurd things about the detriments of formula :-(
I'm sort of in this transition currently. Here are the things that help me:
*Formula is one of the most regulated foods by the FDA. It is an incredibly nutritious food, and has stuff like iron and vitamin d! *When controlling for socioeconomic factors, there are no long term differences in outcomes like IQ or health outcomes like diabetes in babies who are formula vs breastfed. There are differences in immunity and digestion, and that's nothing to scoff at! Premies who are given BM tend to thrive more quickly than those given formula. What makes a difference is if the baby is in a loving household. *You CAN bond with baby when bottle feeding. Bottles allow others to experience this, too! *Happy, healthy mom = happy, healthy baby. If you need to switch for your own mental and physical well being - you don't need to suffer for your baby. We all want to give our babies the best, and sometimes that means taking care of ourselves, too. This one feels especially true to me.
ETA: I am finding this to be an incredibly difficult transition, so the points above are in no way meant to minimize that feeling, if thats what you're experiencing, too. It's just sometimes a logical decision doesn't always sit well emotionally, so those points makes me feel better about what I know will best for me.
I'm also not trying to downplay how awesome breast milk is, so I hope no one takes it that way!
I definitely had an emotionally tough time weaning with both of my big kids, but once we'd moved on to formula, it was mostly fine (aside from jerks--generally strangers--who would comment on it). My husband (and other relatives) really liked being able to bond with the babies while feeding them. I had/have clingy babies, so being able to hand them off more often was a really nice break for me.
Anecdotally, all 3 of my kids had a combo of breastmilk & formula from the get-go. My oldest self-weaned around 4 months & my son did very extended nursing. They've both been super healthy. My son is the sicker of the 2, and has only ever needed an antibiotic once or twice.
I don't have suggestions on what to tell people. I was sort of just gob-smacked & speechless each time someone said something. It didn't happen often, but more than never.
I want to stop breastfeeding. DD is 10 and 1/2 weeks old. Please everyone talk to me about this if you've stopped and how you're feeling about it. And how you respond to well meaning fellow moms telling you absurd things about the detriments of formula :-(
I stopped. I had some guilt and regret. But, I haven't had a migraine since I could start my preventative and my mind is less "OMG - how much did I pump?!" and more "let's eat and go do something'" I just feel free-er.
Maybe this makes me a selfish asshole. But, I chose me in this circumstance. It doesn't mean that I don't want the best for my kid; it means that I know my limits and to be a good mom that I need to listen.
Post by frodabaggins on Oct 30, 2016 10:30:55 GMT -5
hannahbear thank you for this :-) I hope you feel good about whatever decision you end up making.
bocaburger I apologize if this runs super long. With DS two years ago, I EBF until he was five months old. I pulled out all the stops to do so...taking supplements. Renting a hospital grade pump. Pumping round the clock at work. Crying. Obsessing. Eating brewer's yeast on oatmeal every morning. Drinking teas and gallons of water. I had to start supplementing with formula at five months and then he started eating solids. We made it until about 10 and 1/2 months breastfeeding and pumping, then he weaned himself.
This time around, I had to start supplementing with formula at 6 weeks, not six months!! DD randomly started getting really angry at the breast mid-feed. Fighting, crying, hitting me with her fists in frustration. Pediatrician and LC told me this was normal, and just her way of encouraging my body to make more milk. I kept feeding her on demand. But it kept happening, and one day I gave her a 2 oz formula bottle after feeding on both sides and she absolutely GUZZLED it. So I've been combining a formula bottle feed with breastfeeding ever since then. I still breastfeed her for her 1-2 wakings per night (she sleeps 7-8 hour stretch these days!) I have also been very averse to pumping this time, because I don't like my new pump and don't seem to get very much each time I try.
This is where the guilt comes in... I know I could be doing more to get better at pumping, or try a different pump, or start taking the supplements again, etc. I just...don't want to. But everyone in my life and everything I read online has conditioned me to believe I'm depriving my child of the "liquid gold" of breastmilk. All the language around it is very pressuring and anxiety-inducing. Plus there is the added cost of formula - right when DD is about to start daycare and our bill will double.
What I'm thinking about doing is taking my pump to work and pumping when I feel I need to, not on a strict schedule. Hopefully this will keep my milk up enough to still breastfeed her at morning and night, but she'll be getting majority formula during the day. Any thoughts appreciated :-) thanks for reading
omg omg omg you guys! OMG. In desperation, I bought a swing. E is napping peacefully in it right now. I seriously don't care if I'm supposed to be trying to get him to nap in his crib. If he will sleep in this miracle contraption, it will make my life a thousand times better during the week. I'm in survival mode now, I'll worry about the transition to crib napping later. THANK GOODNESS OMG. Can you tell? I am excited.
My kid thinks her crib is a play room. I, too, worry about crib transition later but we'll deal with it when she's older. Now? Sleep. Wherever and however.
Yep. In the 4th trimester, there are no rules. Baby sleeps when, where and how baby sleeps.
My kid thinks her crib is a play room. I, too, worry about crib transition later but we'll deal with it when she's older. Now? Sleep. Wherever and however.
Yep. In the 4th trimester, there are no rules. Baby sleeps when, where and how baby sleeps.
Agreed. The strictest sleep moms I know are pro-swing if needed.
My H has never been much of a drinker, and he can even be judgey of those who do. I'm different, because I've always enjoyed a glass of wine in the evening or while cooking dinner. Lately he'll open a beer at night, and even offers me some wine. I guess 2 kids = drinks!! 😉
Girl I love my wine. I don't like to feel the effects of it, I just love the taste. I feel no shame having a glass of white while I make dinner and a glass of red after tue children are in bed. I don't eat fast food, candy, donuts, or drink soda. But I really, really lice wine.
Eta I LIKE wine. Not lice. I don't know what lice wine would be, but I don't want it.
I want to stop breastfeeding. DD is 10 and 1/2 weeks old. Please everyone talk to me about this if you've stopped and how you're feeling about it. And how you respond to well meaning fellow moms telling you absurd things about the detriments of formula :-(
I stopped. I had some guilt and regret. But, I haven't had a migraine since I could start my preventative and my mind is less "OMG - how much did I pump?!" and more "let's eat and go do something'" I just feel free-er.
Maybe this makes me a selfish asshole. But, I chose me in this circumstance. It doesn't mean that I don't want the best for my kid; it means that I know my limits and to be a good mom that I need to listen.
Meh, I don't see feeding your baby formula when BFing was keeping you from a needed medication, and requiring you to go to great lengths to maintain your supply as "choosing you." I see it as "choosing sanity." Selfish? Not even a little bit. She's fed. She's loved. She's fine.
I want to stop breastfeeding. DD is 10 and 1/2 weeks old. Please everyone talk to me about this if you've stopped and how you're feeling about it. And how you respond to well meaning fellow moms telling you absurd things about the detriments of formula :-(
With my first I stopped breast feeding at two months. Hind site being what it is I can now see why I had so many problems with it and why it was so hard. For me it was a combination of undiogosed lip tie, unknowingly eating/taking things that deminiahed supply while doing everthing I could to increases supply. As a result I supplemented from about two weeks and completely stoped at two months.
I never enjoyed breast feeding. It was never a bonding thing for me. She was so hungry that she would eat for an hour then sleep 30 minutes. Repete cycle all day long. It was exhausting physically and mentally.
When I finally "gave up" I actually had bonding moments while feeding her. I'll never forget shortly after going straight formula, I wasn't tired and overwhelmed, I was giving her a bottle and actually enjoying feeding my child. It was really the first time I felt that all encompassing love for her, like my whole body seemed to vibrate with love for her.
DH also was much happier. He could help out with her ina more meaningful way. And I had the energy and TIME to take care of him, since he completely took care of me for 2 (+9 months of pregnant) months.
The only person who dared make negative comments was my dad. He would mention during every phone call and vist (so at least once a day) how disappointed he was that I wasn't breastfeeding. I let it side as a dumb man thing for too long. Then on day he came over and decided to make his comment as he was leaving. I jumped!! Told him it was none of his business how I feed MY child. That He had no clue how much work it was because he never so much as changed a diaper when me and my sisters were babies, much less asked my mom if she needed any support in feeding. I told him he was welcome to figure out a way to get his mammory glands to produce milk and if he did that he was welcome to breastfeed her. Untill then his only option was to shut his mouth or not to see me and his grand daughter untill he figured out how to.
Out in public if anyone (not super close to me) asked how I was feeding her. My reply was "until she is full" or "milk" or if a compleat stranger I would tell them "chocolate donuts and big red sofa".
But I'm a big fan of telling it like it is (when pushed to the limit) or scarcasim. Not everyone's style.
Post by frodabaggins on Oct 30, 2016 10:55:37 GMT -5
joy I thought of you and wondered what you decided to do! So glad you are able to take your migraine medicine again and get back to normal! I wrote a Novel length post above about my basic plan, but I am also considering stopping all together.
A big factor in all this is that I don't want to be chained to my pump at work. I don't want to have to stick to only pumping friendly clothes. I want to drink coffee and wine in normal amounts again. And everywhere I look, I feel guilt that these are my reasons!
Post by countrycotton on Oct 30, 2016 11:06:02 GMT -5
I wanted to add that my dad went home all upset and mad at me. He called my sisters to gripe/whine about how I had treated him. They both told him I was right and he needed to shut up and stop acting like a child who had not been given candy. He dropped it and a few months later actually apologized to me for his behavior. He hasn't said a thing about how or what I feed this time, except that she is a chunker and probly eats too much. But it's a joke.
frodabaggins I just want to say that it's great what you've done so far. I've found BFing a lot harder with a toddler around too, and I know your older one is the same age as mine. It's not like we have time to just sit around and feed the baby anymore. And WHO has time to make/eat special lactation oatmeal every morning?! Just do what you need to do to enjoy your kids.
Post by hannahbear on Oct 30, 2016 12:05:30 GMT -5
countrycotton the public comments are what I'm most nervous about. BUT from now on I am going to use your lines. Brilliant!
DH's aunt has been making all these comments about BFing. It makes me so angry but I haven't had the guts to really say anything. Next time, I will. Seriously, why do people think it's their business?
frodabaggins yes breast can be best, but formula isn't evil. DD was FF and has had her share of colds once she started daycare and a handful of ear infections. But DS has just got a cold and he's EBF. He actually got it 2 months earlier than DD. Both kids are about same percentiles for weight and height. Both kids so far are reaching their milestones at the same pace. Your plan seems like a good. It's no all or nothing and a LC told me that with DD. Heck a LC told me she had to stop BF bc she couldn't produce enough. Do whatever is better for you.
joy I thought of you and wondered what you decided to do! So glad you are able to take your migraine medicine again and get back to normal! I wrote a Novel length post above about my basic plan, but I am also considering stopping all together.
A big factor in all this is that I don't want to be chained to my pump at work. I don't want to have to stick to only pumping friendly clothes. I want to drink coffee and wine in normal amounts again. And everywhere I look, I feel guilt that these are my reasons!
Dooooon't feel guilty.
One reason I wanted my migraine meds back? So I could enjoy wine again.
Post by bocaburger on Oct 30, 2016 13:38:37 GMT -5
frodabaggins, I think you have a good plan, as long as you really think you can keep yourself from stressing about the pumping schedule. Hopefully pumping as needed will help keep your supply up enough to nurse at night and in the morning... but if not, it sounds like you'd be ok with stopping altogether.
And in terms of what to tell people who give you a hard time... don't even engage them, it's none of their business.
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